Cumplane Past Relationships

Why is school food so darn gross?? 🤢🤢🤢 I’m pretty sure this is at least 85% dog food. #schoollunch #gross #grossfood #dogfood

certain kind of tragedy i think in still following your childhood best friends online. like once upon a time you knew me better than anyone. i thought we would be friends forever. now we are Adults and Different and even despite that I so badly wish we could still Talk like we were 13. i dont know who you are. I miss you.

Okay okay okay.. but listen. What if Shen Yuan had a harsher System and was forced to convincingly play Shen Qingqiu, making Luo Binghe detest his existence, but when Luo Binghe returns from the abyss to enact his revenge and has Shen Qingqiu on trial at Huan Hua, unfortunately for everyone (and fortunately for us), they drug Shen Qingqiu with truth serum and accidentally spiral Shen Yuan into fanboy rampage of epic proportions about how great Luo Binghe is.

Cumplane AU Sqh fell asleep on the bus on SY shoulder, causing Sy to miss his stop. SQH offered him to stay at his apt because it's snowing

inspired by a Destial fanfic Strangers on a Bus by Terene

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SY felt nervous and jumpy; it was his first time on a bus. He fought with his family over their overprotectiveness and ran onto the bus leaving the station. He had no clue where this bus goes, when, and how to get off?

The bus grew busier as the seats filled up within a couple of stops, leaving SY shoulder-to-shoulder with the guy next to him. The guy had messy brown wavy hair, a baggy hoodie, and sweatpants. Overall, he looked very comfy compared to the button-up SY was wearing. It made SY want to reach over and squish his cheeks together, which would be inappropriate to do to a stranger on a bus.

In the meantime, he searched the bus and its route to see if there was a stop near his apartment; his phone was blowing up with text messages and calls. There was a high chance that his whole family might already be waiting for him at his apartment. At least the bus did stop near his apartment in 10 more stops, but with the bus stopping at almost every stop, he should get comfortable.

He started planning and thinking of every response and question he needed to prepare for with his family. This was not the first time they fought about this topic, but it was the first time SY stormed off like this. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to calm himself down. 6 stops left to go, and SY did not want to go.

The loud bus could not even distract SY from his frantic planning, it wasn't until he felt an impact on his shoulder that he noticed that the cute guy next to him had fallen asleep.

"Hey," SY said while shaking him slightly. His attempts at escaping the situation were not working. He couldn't move because the bus was crowded, and the dude was dead to the world. SY had no choice but to sit there until the guy woke up.

5 stops. 4 stops. 3 stops. 2 stops. 1 stops. And 0

He watched as his apartment building slowly disappeared out of sight. In a way, he was relieved. There was an excuse to delay the inevitable talk with his parents. He tilted his head to look at the guy more clearly; now that he was close to the guy, he could see the freckles and eye bags this guy had. He reckoned that with proper self-care, this guy would get scouted by so many different companies.

"Orange Road Apartments." The guy's eyes snapped open, and he made eye contact with SY for a couple of moments before he realized that he was, in fact, resting his head on someone else's shoulder while staring at them.

"Oh my god..." The guy said as he threw his head off SY's shoulder at an uncomfortable speed, causing the guy to yelp in pain while holding his neck.

"I'm so sorry, uh, ah, I didn't- I didn't mean to do that." Now that the guy was awake, SY could tell that he was really tired with the way his eyes still slowly closed before opening again.

"It's fine," SY said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't cause any trouble for you, right?" Well, in trouble could be used to describe SY's current situation. He could just call a taxi back, but at this point, he felt rebellious, and a couple more hours out wouldn't hurt.

"I did miss my stop."

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry man, uh, this bus is the last bus on this route.." The guy informed him, and SY immediately checked the bus app he downloaded 20 minutes ago.

"Ah...I see"

"But there are other buses at the next stop, so you can transfer to a different bus that does run. I get off at the next stop, so I'll help you figure out the bus you need to go on. I'm so sorry." The bus stopped after the guy pressed the button next to the window. They walked off, thanking the bus driver.

SY didn't notice this, but it was sprinkling outside. Just tiny drops that he could barely feel through his jacket. Then like the world hated SY, it started pouring.

"Shit!" The guy cursed, pulling SY into the apartment building next to the bus stop.

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

my new church is so pretty! here’s the opening hallway and two of my most favorite paintings 🖼 #church #prettychurch #prettypainting https://www.instagram.com/p/BwCZSewHgSv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17irnagdaaf79

headcanon: victor tries to send a ‘top ten pics’ of his ass to yuuri but ends up sending it to everyone lmao

What about airplane getting hit by wife plots

He spends a lot of time in the demon realm, it's more likely for him to run into sex pollens and nasty entities who put weird curses on him while he's just a little guy trying to fix his king's kingdom.

He brings home precious plants and potions to keep safe for his king or for himself for emergencies. Oops, accidentally inhaled something weird from the secret stash while sorting through it and now he needs to be taken, that's the only way it works (who wrote this shit????????)

Mobie jun is out of question, Airplane will smell like demon for days and he cannot contact/bother him with this, not to mention that's purely marital activities which he cannot ask his king to engage in! That's his king and Airplane is but a lowly servant.

So.. Cucumber bro is the only safe bet. He has modern sensibilities. He won't kick up fuss about casual sex which is also not casual but life saving.

He flies to his bro's peak, half crazed and kicks down the door, startling him and his son's lesson. Oops. His dear son will have to practice on his own, sorry protagonist, Airplane needs touch and he needs it now.

Cucumber bro taps him on the head with his stupid fan which only makes him fall into his arms with fervor. Three privacy barriers, two noise cancelling tailsman and a verbal lashing later, Cucumber bro finally lets their mouths meet and the relief is heavenly.

Peak Lord Shang Qinghua passes out fucked out of his mind (and the poison) and Master Shen refuses to answer his door till later in afternoon next day because his place smells so strongly of sex.

Stupid hack writer falling victim to his own writing. Get fucked. He thinks with satisfaction.

The Shen Yuan who in his modern world is a serious and respected fantasy writer with a fairly large fanbase and film and television adaptations of his works, an adult entering his fifties, grey-haired and wearing his long hair in a half ponytail, who is attending a good therapist to deal with all that repressed homosexuality, with an ex-wife who supports him from a distance (distance like, another city an hour or two away by train or something, she had a lot of Shen Yuan in her life), and two teenage children aged fifteen and seventeen who live at home until they finish school and are old enough to go live with their mother, and an older daughter in her twenties who already lives with her.

In fact, reading PIDW was just a stupid distraction about ten years ago when he was entering his forties and going through his divorce, and even though randomly some silly and ridiculous thing from that webnovel pops into his head without paying rent, he doesn't think about it too much.

And one day, he sees Luo Binghe.

Well, it's clearly Luo Binghe. PIDW was a huge success, with physical books, live action adaptations, and international translations. Of course, ten years after from the highest peak of fame of the novel, there would be some fans cosplaying him. However...

Well, he's seen a lot of cosplay in his life. He's seen the beginnings of cosplay when the internet was still a piece of shit with telephone wires. He is actually familiar with seams and costumes and the artificial shine of wigs.

Nothing he sees in front of him looks like cheap cosplay. And the boy, Luo Binghe, beautiful as only words could describe, is staring at him.

"Can I help you?" Shen Yuan asks, because despite everything, he is a kind man in the accommodated neighborhood who has raised his children.

And "Luo Binghe" looks at him with the strangest expression in the world.

"This Lord is looking for someone," the cosplayer says. "Can this man let this Lord know where the Shen family home is, by any chance?"

Shen Yuan feels an unpleasant chill.

“Why do you ask?” he says, however. And the Luo Binghe in front of him just smiles.

"Oh, this one is just looking for someone who owes this Lord a debt."

Shen Yuan hopes there are more Shen families in his fucking neighborhood or for heaven's sake none of his bratty kids have gotten into trouble with cosplay gangsters. Thanks.

you're an absolute genius, im stealing that tag forevermore

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."