I've Had Trauma Since A Long Time Since Childhood, When I Was Younger I Used To Be Creative And Explorative,
I've had trauma since a long time since childhood, when I was younger I used to be creative and explorative, but something eventually has changed, I stopped thinking of rash decisions and for me this hell became objective reality. Everything seemed to be nihilistic, there was no hope or meaning to persevere, it felt for long like a trap and it still feels that way. I became a person who was desperate for a hope, for something to prove me wrong. But I was always proven not, in fact I became naive and cruel at the same time, because for me it was life and death option. I needed some reassurance this world is good and not birthed from bestial malice. At the end, I was never wrong about a damn thing.
However, even though being objective gives you kinder better understood perspective on life, it is not good. You find a perfect answer, after that you become stale. It seems in this world there is no happy ending, when you reach "it" you will end with despair again. You may try any path, and you will always end with the same despair. I am not sure if it actually implies to human perception everywhere, but somewhere deep I was irritated that everyone "got it" except for me, like everyone knew how to get away with evil except for me who was real dumb chump. Even at school, everybody knew how to cheat during final exam papers and did so. Except for me and one other jewish classmate. Everybody knew how to properly bully others. But I haven't been perse "brave" as much as logical, as long as I can read it it's not scary. So I played smart. And unfortunately, it has messed me up. Objectively, sole way to win life is to die for my conclusion.
Human perception is birthed of flaws since leaving the Eden, there is no real way any longer to win. Perception is doomed to fall.
Yet, I never once acknowledged that I did have happy moments, but it has never felt to me because the life kept going and it made me feel like I am outpaced all the time. Maybe, that sense of security from objective point of view is something I must let go off somehow. I honestly have no clue how scary the world is without logic, but logic has never managed to cure it. I believe you and I got scammed into believing it did and had false hopes for technology.
But hey, knowing this it is very possible that human livestocks will genuinely happen in far future. Oh well, we can't stop it from happening. Visit churro.
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Sharia
Hes fuck sharia law oh my god I FUCKING HATE OMELETTE AAAAAH
its the worst i hate omeletted
They taste so fucking horrible
Fried eggs suck
Put them in the salad or soup, but please god dont do
Umikaze i-19
like if we take the oppai lolis from azur lane
what is the power? i mean what is that makes them good in bad way
because i would love t owrite stories that are innoecnt with i19
but
thats crazy
no shit bro wtf
bunny ears or dog ears
plus oppai happy face and this nice friendliness
all of it is so bad together....... I wish I could think of this character in such way to make her be treated well.
but my brain becomes rliek AAAAAAAGh
i was searching and found most shortstacks seem to be more concentrated in sakura empire's, but shortstacks are bad as signals of love because its wallking boobs basically
there is so much focus on chest even if you put camera away metters the boobs still look like theyre focus
but its not the only issue it is other appealing parts put in that listen guys my brain cant expalin it
All I want is to write this characters justly like ariake and i19 and ayase but... two huge ass bags are in my eyes disrtupting
Ash nazg durbatulûk.
how do I keep it in check when uh
I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Sigh… Sometimes I wonder what’s the point of doing anything especially hobbies… I overthink like I always have done, God…
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I should hace bought orange.
Azur Lane thought on my dousjin
its not gonna give me high reputation posting this draft but here it is...just some ideas that go through my turd of brain ack...
I was thinking how can I put it in such way that when I write a story it doesn't ruin my time spent on other things in life, ultimately writing erotic ideas is way more fun to the point of way too much power... Putting chains on me is difficult to do. I thought to just write notes or small pieces of story and move on, but then I want to progress into it, dwell within.
Ultimately, I need to have more discipline on myself.
When frogs hibernate its misaka destinyyyy
