The Great Lorax Rewrite Finished Posting Six Months Ago?????

Fanfic recommendations

I'd like to start reading more fanfictions to support other writers. Does anyone have any recommendations? I'm looking for mainly wholesome, SFW stories with more structure than fluff--matters more if they're interesting than what fandom it is. (Although I like a lot of fantasy books and western animation). I don't prefer stories that focus on romance, but I know most fanfictions tend to focus on that, so can make an exception if it's done well (same for some other things).

Chapter 10 is up! Who started the fire?

I added a fire because I thought more things needed to happen to Once-ler to show why he doesn't care about anyone else's opinions anymore. I thought this story beat would add more character development (and every story is better with an extra mystery).

Excerpt:

Once-ler looked up from his drawing board as the air grew suddenly thicker. The proud smile he’d had on his face as he drew modifications for his products faded when a dark feeling descended upon him. The sky was dim and gray, but it didn’t feel like rain. It was a dry, ominous darkness, and there was an eerie silence. It was a deep, all-consuming quietness in which even the wind had stopped.

A flock of swomee-swans burst over the horizon, hooting and speeding south as if death was on their tails.

In his pajamas, Once-ler ran out of his house. Black clouds were forming all around. Not rain clouds, which he was more than familiar with, but something even more sinister and hot.

"No…" He cast around helplessly as the sky around the construction site of his new assembly line glowed orange. "No, no, no, no, no, NO!"

The Lorax and his band of Barbaloots and humming-fish appeared quickly beside him. "We have to flee!" he cried. "Where's your family?"

"I… I told them to leave."

"Did they go? Yes or no?"

"I dunno!"

"I gotta get all the animals out. I'll get Melvin too, if you need me, shout!" The Lorax and his own strange assorted family of creatures dashed away, leaving Once-ler on his own.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3!!!!

Also I shall be away next week, that's why I'm posting this early.

DON'T FORGET, THE WISH REWRITE IS OUT! NEW CHAPTERS EACH WEEK!

The Great Wish Movie Rewrite Chapter One

Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!!!!! Chapter one of my next project, The Great Wish Movie Rewrite, is up on AO3! Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61920016

What to expect:

Magnifico is the protagonist, and we see the story and his non-one-dimensional struggle through his perspective.

Asha and Amaya are antagonists.

Star Boy is in it.

NO OCS!!!!!!!!! Just a straightforward, comprehensive narrative of what the movie should've been like.

(This work is complete, and knows where it's going, and a new chapter will be added every Friday).

Excerpt:

In most monarchies, the king claims sovereignty over his people, but in the kingdom of Rosas, King Magnifico’s subjects were the tyrants. 

It was his fault, he thought regretfully, for using sorcery in the first place to begin granting wishes. He should have remembered that a genie was a prisoner to the whims of others, and so too his ability left him at his people's mercy. 

“I want a million coins! A parakeet, a banana split, a swimming pool, a trampoline, uhhh. . .” a little boy licking a lollipop was sitting on his lap, demanding.

"Well, we'll see about that." Magnifico glanced around for the boy's parents. "How did you get past the guards?" The palace gates, flanked by statuesque soldiers, led to the long, carpeted hallway that opened to the throne room. There the king sat upon his throne, resplendent in star-stitched robes, with all the dignity of Father Christmas.

"Great! When grown ups say 'we'll see about that', it always means yes!" The little boy jumped up off the king's lap, then skipped away, outside into the queue of people waiting their turn to make a wish. 

Resentfully, King Magnifico raised his sceptre, then granted the boy’s wishes with a sweeping shimmer, since he had no heart to disappoint him. 

As the boy disappeared, someone else stepped forward, shoulders slumped in sorrow. “My king,” said a peasant girl, coming up to the throne, clutching a shawl around herself. “My mother twisted her ankle, and can no longer walk after slipping on one of our chicken's eggs. She’s unable to even stand upright. Will you heal her?”

King Magnifico quickly forgot the previous boy's entitlement, and nodded slowly. "A twisted ankle? That is a serious affliction." 

"It's swollen to the size of the egg she slipped on."

The king raised his scepter, then waved it in an arc, healing the girl's mother at once. “There, her pain is gone now,” he said as the girl’s eyes widened, and a smile spread across her face. She bowed, then turned to leave, and Magnifico remembered briefly why sorcery was a blessing.

But no sooner had the girl disappeared, than through the grand doors strode a middle-aged man with fox-like features and an air of impatience. A long travelling cloak billowed behind him as he marched with a walking stick up to the king, who studied him with a steady gaze.

"Your Majesty," the man began without even a bow, "I come to you with a request. I have heard of your power to grant wishes, and seek your aid."

The king leaned forward. Magnifico possessed an innate desire to help those in need, and often found it difficult to say no, but he grew weary since lately it was becoming clear that a fool who makes a wish often finds that what he desires has consequences. 

"Well, go ahead.” Magnifico waved his hand. “Speak your wish.”

The man’s smile faltered for a moment, but he quickly recovered it, then said without shame, "I wish for absolute power. I desire to command armies, to rule with an iron fist, and to have the loyalty of every citizen."

Magnifico’s eyes narrowed, and his voice grew cold as he replied, “Such a wish speaks to ambition beyond measure. But power without wisdom is a path of which to be wary.”

“Sure, sure.” The peasant stood tall as he pulled a scroll from his cloak. “Now, let me be clear on the terms and conditions of this wish: no action, policy, or decree should be contested or overturned by any other entity. I require immunity from any form of legal or physical retribution. This wish should remain in effect for the duration of my lifetime, and extend to my successors, ensuring that the absolute power granted is maintained beyond my tenure. Once granted, this wish must be irrevocable to any changes or nullifications.”

The king’s gaze grew colder still. “I see,” he said. “You think you can waltz in here and demand absolute power with such brazen terms? Absolute authority is not a game to be played. It must be wielded with responsibility.”

The peasant smirked, and folded his arms. “Oh, please. Save the moralising. We’ve no objection to you as a wizard, you know, but as a king we hate you.”

King Magnifico’s heart rate quickened, but his voice remained even. “You are not just seeking to overthrow me; you are aiming to become a tyrant. Power without limits corrupts, and turns rulers into monsters. I will never allow this kingdom to be weakened by the hunger for control. I hereby decree your banishment. Guards, escort this man out of the palace, and ensure he departs from our borders immediately. Any attempt to defy this order will be met with execution. Let it be known our kingdom will always stand against the darkness of greed. We will remain a land of generosity and justice.”

As the king’s words echoed through the throne room, the guards stepped forward with practised ease. They seized the peasant by the arms, who, despite wriggling like a snake, was no match for their strength. The guards dragged him towards the gates.

“I will not be treated like this!” the man sputtered, flailing his arms. “I demand to speak to someone in charge!”

“I am in charge!” Magnifico banged his fist against his throne’s armrest. But he began to see that by giving gifts freely, even if he sat on the throne, his people wielded the power. He was constrained by the very magic that defined him, having to listen to a thousand such ridiculous requests a day. And most times, his subjects couldn't even get their teeth around the word 'thank you'. 

King Magnifico knew things could not go on this way, and so that night, he asked for the counsel of the person he trusted most to advise him: his dear wife, Amaya, who he called to the top of the tallest tower in his palace.

Finish reading: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61920016

Chapter 12

Once-ler turns evil. Gets dark at the end. Read the whole thing on Ao3. Excerpt:

It was nice when he could get a second guitar without even thinking about it. Perhaps even nicer than it would have been to someone who didn't have heartbreaking memories of always being told his parents couldn't afford a good one for him. After all, hadn't it been just the other day he'd asked for one on his eighth birthday in front of the music store window and gotten tears in his eyes when his dad told him no?

He didn't have any memories of clothes-shopping as a child either. All he'd gotten was hand-me-downs for short people from his church's charity drives. Surely other people had always gotten measured at tailors to get jackets and trousers of the highest quality to fit them perfectly. This, of course, justified the exorbitant bill when he bought a new designer wardrobe complete with extra tall top hats in his favorite black and bright green colors.

It turned out, the world was full of things he'd never been able to appreciate before he'd had money:

Clothes, drinks, cars, trips, events. There were so many more opportunities when you weren't just a poor helpless urchin…

He would never go back to being poor. Never. He was even worse than his Ma, after a short time.

"Oncie, don't ya think maybe we could take a day off to have a family picnic and celebrate the end of summer like in the old days?" she said to him one day.

Once-ler looked up from the photos he was studying for a new billboard advertisement. He'd almost settled on what he thought was a charismatic picture of himself with his arms spread wide and an eye-popping grin on his face, though Brett had remarked it made him look rather possessed.

"Ha!" He slammed down the photos. "You mean the old days when we were poor and miserable? Why don't we take the whole week off and have a real party? Or better yet, a month-long tropical vacation?"

His Ma blinked. "Sounds real nice, honey, but who's gonna run the company? Didn't you just get back from a cruise? Ain't ya gettin' just a little too extravagant these days?"

"Who cares? I'm rich! We got a million employees now. Besides I deserve it cuz of all the sufferin' I went through before."

This excuse got less impressive by the day as Once-ler's new luxuries quickly outweighed any misery he'd previously endured. His identity as a lower class citizen faded even more quickly from his own memory and personality than it did into the past.

"I'm so glad that in the last year I was finally able to discover the real me," was something he'd told everyone in his family more than once since they'd returned. It never occurred to him that what he meant was: "I'm so glad I finally have money to do whatever I want without any consequences."

***

2nd excerpt:

"I just wanted to tell you, the Barbaloots are dying."

Something got through the iron-clad self absorption that had enclosed Once-ler for the last few months. He was surrounded by terrible people all the time now, but when harm fell upon innocent creatures, it was different. He remembered the little Barbaloot that had given him a hug after the fiasco in the river.

"What do you mean dying? How can they be… Surely they're not actually dying ?"

"There was something in the water that made 'em sick. Something from your factory that set in quick. It's making 'em not move and lay around. And some of 'em…" There were tears in the Lorax's eyes. "Some of 'em ain't gettin' up from the ground."

READ THE FULL THING ON AO3!!!

The Lorax Rewritten/Full Novelization

Rest assured, the whole fanfiction exists and is finished. It is now being posted on a schedule. It seems like nobody ever actually seriously finishes these rewrites, so we finally did. Follow for new chapters, and to get the whole story of how the Lorax 2012 should've been.

Also let us know what other fandoms need high quality finished fanfictions, so we can make them finally exist too!

We are thinking of rewriting the Wish movie next. Obviously Magnifico was the good guy.

Chapter 14 is up!

Super late post today, but here it is! THIS PART IS THE MOST SAD. The movie didn't make enough consequences for his actions.

Excerpt:

"How've you been, sir? Are you doing well, Mr. Once-ler?" a forlorn voice asked.

Once-ler spun around. "You?!”

The Lorax didn't say anything for a while. The sound of rain over the balcony grew heavier as the storm rumbled behind him.

"Just came to look at the view. You've accomplished a lot, haven’t you?"

Once-ler backed away at the sound of thunder as the Lorax entered the office. The mossy old creature hopped onto his desk to stare at the model city. His torso was matted and streaked with grease. Wiry hairs stuck out from his mustache and eyebrows like bent broom bristles. The fur that had once had an attractive orange sheen was all brown now, caked with dirt, and had a damp, washed-out look. The Lorax might have been a chewed up jelly bean that had been spat back out.

"The Virtue of Selfishness," the Lorax read the title of one of Once-ler's books, stroking his mustache. "Lessons we could all learn from, I'd guess."

"You know what? I don't want to hear from you right now!" Once-ler yelled. "All you do is say everything is bad, and I'm really sick of it." He seized the Lorax and hoisted him under his arm, ignoring the creature's protests.

"It's not just the trees I'm trying to save,” the Lorax’s voice cracked, “but you, from digging your own grave."

Once again, the door wouldn't open when Once-ler tried it, and the alarm wouldn't go off when he pulled it. But he wasn’t going to  be defeated. He carried the Lorax to the balcony and held him at arm's length. The Lorax hovered over dark hills that had been uniformly sheared—bristly white stumps where once had been trees dotted the shaved hills of dead grass. Advanced axe-hackers rolled by like monsters, searching for more wood that they couldn't find, before wheeling away to look deeper into the mist.

"Are you going to kill me?" asked the Lorax.

"I know you're causing the storms," growled Once-ler, shaking him. "The thunder that never stops, the lightning that strikes my tower.  And all the clouds that have that same purple hue as when…" He trailed off, remembering the first tree he'd cut down, when he'd first seen the Lorax come out of the sky. 

If it wasn't for that day, he'd have believed the Lorax was no more than a funny animal like the Barbaloots or humming-fish, with a higher cognitive level and more annoying voice box. But it had been the sight of him that day, coming out of the sky with a terrible look in his eyes, that, as much as he tried to forget, made Once-ler secretly terrified he really was a deity. 

His hands trembled as the Lorax's beetle black eyes bored into his, suddenly looking very old and very powerful. Once-ler wondered if it was even possible for the Lorax to die. “Whatever you're doing, I want you to stop it. Right now," he growled, not recognizing his own voice. With each word, he leaned closer over the edge of the balcony.

"Why?" asked the Lorax. "You don’t seem to care how your own actions are fouling the air."

"Yer rusting up my factory. We got work to do. I’m the one in the legal right here. So make it stop." His face was close enough to feel the Lorax’s mustache.

The Lorax chuckled at this, legs dangling over the parapet. "Laws and codes, written by man. What have they to do with nature's plan? What have they to do with morals or your soul? Are laws the things that define all your goals?" His long, spindly hand slowly reached out and grabbed his tie.

Before Once-ler knew it, they were both falling. Through wind and rain they plummeted as the storm thickened. Soon a churning mist concealed everything around them as they tumbled through a funnel of purple clouds, a passage that went on much longer than Once-ler knew it should have. 

As they spun round and round, reality evaporated. It was as if Once-ler was melting into the Lorax and the Lorax was melting into him, until nothing but a haze of orange and green remained. Then they unconnected, plunging their separate ways.

Once-ler's spine cracked against a pipe, and he bounced onto the black, dry riverbed where water no longer ran. His head spun; reality had not gone quite back to normal. Somehow they had survived the fall as if it had been merely from a playground, rather than half a mile from the tallest building in the city. His back, however, would never be quite the same. Sharp pains when he attempted to straighten himself told him it had been fractured.

The Lorax was standing on a rock, eyes aglow, fixed on his enemy. An army was growing around him of bloodied, skeletal birds missing patches of feathers, a few crinkled fish that had been too weak to leave, and the ghostly Barbaloots that hadn't died yet.

Once-ler choked, and limped behind a rock. "I don't want any trouble," he pleaded. 

The Lorax gave a slight nod to the army behind him, and they marched somberly back into the gray expanse. As they trailed away, single file, Once-ler knew in his heart they were marching to their deaths. At the end of the line he spotted an animal he hadn't thought of in a long time. His old friend, Melvin.

"Hey…!" He crawled up to the trembling old animal that fell to the ground. Melvin put his head in Once-ler's lap. His coat was thin and sooty, breaths slow and tired. The eyes that met his master's were filled with sadness that slowly dimmed into an empty stare as his head slumped to the ground.

READ THE FULL CHAPTER ON AO3~!

The Great Lorax Rewrite (beginning)

Hey guys, here's the beginning of the fanfiction I'm writing on Ao3. The aim is to tell Once-ler's whole story from beginning to end without Ted interrupting. There are four chapters up so far, and a lot more to come:

"Where is it? Where did you put my guitar?"

Once-ler smacked his head as he looked under the triple bunk bed he was forced to share with his brothers in their small house.

"Reckon if ya don't get out there n' chop some trees, I'll let Brett n' Chet smash that dang guitar for good!" his Ma's voice called from the kitchen.

His younger twin brothers and sister laughed from the dinner table.

"Hurry up n' get more money from yer wood," Brett complained. "We only got three potatoes in our stew today, n' they're smaller n' ping pong balls."

"Yeah, an' none for you, Oncie," said Gizette. "I get the last one!"

"Why can't I ever have any of the stew if I'm always the one earnin' the money?" Once-ler tripped out of their closet-like bedroom, and squeezed around the table through the equally cramped dining area. This was made even harder by his abnormal height; he always had bruises on his knees and elbows from being such a tall person in such a small house.

Before him sat his shorter, but equally ungainly family, squished around the table: his mother with her teased up hair balanced by a bow, in her patched polka-dot sweater while serving brown stew water, the twins Brett and Chet with ripped up overalls and squashed hats who were staring eagerly at two tiny potatoes on their plates, and the youngest "baby" Gizette with ratty hair, buck teeth, and the biggest serving of stew of all (which was still not very big).

In the corner Once-ler's father was asleep in the rocking chair by the fire, using his old gray coat as a blanket. His gray hat was pulled over his stubbled face, and his ax laid on the floor beside him after his long day of woodcutting. Once-ler had to avoid the blade as he tiptoed to the only corner of the room with enough space.

"Because, sweetie," said his Ma, "You're the oldest child, and we have to think of the youngins. It's time for you to be an adult. Anyway, we've all got to make sacrifices when times are hard." The fancy unidentifiable dead animal she always wore around her neck bobbed its nose as she scooped the last tiny part of the stew into her own bowl.

This was always the excuse whenever Once-ler said he needed anything: "We have to think of the youngins." He understood the sentiment, really. It just seemed like he couldn't recall anyone ever using that argument during the short time he'd gotten to be the youngest. The youngest kids were also older than he'd been when they'd first started using this excuse. In fact, it seemed his family had decided Once-ler was an adult the second he'd been born, and that the others could never grow up.

Reminder that Chapter 9 is up

While I like the concept of Once-ler having a mean, selfish family that shows why he turned out the way he did, I'm going to make it clear that listening to them and destroying everything was his own choice.

EXCERPT

It was unsettling how much having his family move in made Once-ler's life feel exactly as it had before.

Somehow they still managed to make him feel like the one imposing, despite them being in his house. It wasn't long till his closets were full of their clothes and shoes, and his ice box with things like "Brett's pickles, don't touch." "Gizette's hot sauce. No Oncies allowed" or "CHET ONLY" signs on the orange juice. Yuck. Once-ler patiently pushed the orange juice aside to fit eggs and milk for his pancake batter.

Since the time he'd seen them, Gizette had taken up soccer and now kept her equipment thrown across his lawn. It appeared she'd gotten her glasses somehow, glittery pink frames that she left laying around and never wore. Brett and Chet brought parts of motorbikes they fiddled around with, that Once-ler never saw in the long grass before they tripped him. His Ma seemed to have gotten even more knickknacks, clothes, and yarn than ever for someone who always complained about having no money.

However, he didn't know if he should complain because of how much she helped with the company. In fact, she helped a little too much, staying up all night on the phone, networking, negotiating, planning ads, and scheduling meetings for him to attend. She seemed to have become an expert manager overnight.

"Didn't you know I got a degree in business when I was in my early twenties?" she told him. "I used to help yer dad back when he was first startin' his wood cuttin’ business." Once-ler had not. She had never mentioned having any helpful skills up till this point.

Some of her ideas were better than others. Once-ler did appreciate the plans to expand the market, like with the promotions she took charge of. He liked the new top hat she picked out for him, to make him look like a proper CEO. And thanks to her fundraising efforts, the blueprints for his factory were becoming a brick and mortar reality atop the nearest hill beyond his window.

However, when it came to her suggestion about chopping down the trees to gather the leaves faster for their expanding customer base, Once-ler was annoyed.

"No. Truffula Trees take a hundred years to grow back, so that's not a good business strategy. Why don't we just use ladders?"

“Well, that’s pretty demanding of you,” said his Ma. “You make us move out here to help you, and won’t even provide the proper accommodations. Brett fell off one of those dangerous old ladders the other day, and got a big purple bruise on his nose. It’s not funny, don’t laugh. You gotta learn about bein’ a decent boss.”

Once-ler’s Ma’s opinion of a good boss seemed to be one that gave her whatever she wanted. Well, why did he have to give his family whatever they wanted all the time? His stubbornness was, indeed, the last thing still keeping him from getting out his ax and being done with it. The ladders and picker really were a pain. It would be easier to just yell “Timber!” and harvest a whole head of leaves from a fallen trunk, but he didn't want to give his family the satisfaction.

Oh, and there was his promise to the Lorax too.

How many drafts do you usually do of your fanfictions? I can't stop re-reading and fiddling with them for at least a few months. I wonder what would happen if I did this for over a year, and how high quality I could get them.

There are so many embellishments you can add. (Connections, foreshadowing, character voice improvements, and just generally adding more interesting detail. And of course cleaning up all the technical things).

I just love how when you have a fully finished story you can always make it better. "I think I'll add some plot twists to make it more interesting." etc. It's like tinkering with a car or something, but even weirder.

I'm thinking of officially calling our series of movie rewrites "Untwisted Tales" as a play on Disney's "Twisted Tale" novels. It's because we untwist bad storytelling and fix all the plot holes! (And often make the villains the good guys if they should have been, like King Magnifico).