*1:00 Am, Lupin Bar, Dark Era*

I just realised how much I disliked Bunny (on my first read) because of his personality and not any of the others who ended up killing him.

We all collectively agreed

"I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at homophobia"

"You can excuse murder?"

Me: Have care how to speak about them, Akutagawa, Chuuya and Dazai are my children

Someone: They killed 80 people in two days

Me: they're adopted

Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?

INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.

Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?

INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.

Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?

INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm

Interviewer: and when do you sleep?

INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.

Interviewer: what's your favourite food?

INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort

Interviewer: favourite season?

INTP: winter or autumn

Interviewer: favourite movie?

INTP: I can't choose one

Interviewer: favourite book?

INTP: don't go there.

Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?

INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.

Interviewer: that's nice

INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.

Interviewer: how would you help humanity?

INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.

Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?

INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.

Interviewer: that's bad...

INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.

TSH New Years headcanon (after the epilogue)

Richard's POV

By the time Camilla and I arrived at the balcony of his house; Francis as expected was already lounging on the sofa, with a glass of red wine in his hand and looking at the dark sky twinkling with stars.

He barely acknowledged us as we sat down opposite each other, Camilla put down the box of Macrons she had bought as a gift and I opened the bottle of champagne I had bought.

Without a glance he shook his now empty glass towards me and made me pour some for him first.

"Do you not feel cold? Shouldn't you at least put a sweater on?" Camilla asked him in a concerned tone

"I was trying to die from frost bite" Francis chuckled, "I was joking" he added to me when I raised an eyebrow.

"It's ten minutes till twelve" I looked at my watch "what plan do you have for new years?"

"I have stopped caring about plans since the time Henry ended up dying"

Camilla and I exchanged looks, her lips twitched and she avoided eye-contact with me. Perhaps she too felt the same emptiness Francis seemed to be feeling. After all before I met them, they already celebrated New Years together with the others. But this year too Charles, Henry and Bunny were gone.

"How is Charles?" I asked Camilla, not really expecting an answer

She shrugged "I have no idea. He sent back the Christmas card I sent him. But he did take the money I left it in"

"Of course he did" Barked Francis, he sat up straighter to look us in the eyes for the first time

"And Julian? Do you know where he is?" I asked Francis this time, ounce again not expecting any answer

"Who the fuck cares about him now? I don't. He is probably in some private college, trying to recreate another Greek tradegy"

"I heard he is doing a world tour" Camilla said "He is currently in the Caribbean"

"I hope he dies there" Francis said bitterly

After Julian ditched our side when we needed him, we had stopped caring about him like he did to us. I did keep up with his news, despite his deeds he was still quite fascinating to me.

"do you remember the first class you had with Julian?" Francis asked me

"yes, I do" I could never forget that first class, no matter what

"What was the question Julian asked at the end of the class?"

"And if beauty is terror" I said slowly remembering the exact words "then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?"

"To live," said Camilla

She was perched up on the sofa with a shawl covering her head; her nose and cheeks pink with cold.

"To live forever" corrected Francis "such an ironic thing for Bunny to say, isn't it?"

He then poured the three of us more champagne.

"Here's to the New Year" he said more brightly, raising a toast "To live forever"

"To live forever" repeated Camilla and I, as we clicked the glasses together, the fireworks started.

Another year went by and we remained stuck in the past. This year, we will move on. That was my new year's resolution.

(I wish I could write better 🫠. But here's to a new year "To live forever")

Atsushi, confused after a mission: what exactly is the relationship between Dazai-san and Chuuya-san?

Fukuzawa: they are enemies

Kunikida: more like ex-coworkers

Yosano: definitely, enemies with benefits

Kyouka: best friends!

Kenji: they help each other out in times of great trouble like good neighbors :)

Junichiro: Aren't they rivals?

Naomi: I thought they were Ex-boyfriends!

Haruno: I heard they got divorced

Atsushi, even more confused: they were married????

*Everyone looks at Ranpo*

Ranpo, takes his Lollipop out: Gay.

Chuuya, singing in the kareoke: I wanna key his car, I wanna make him lunch

Dazai, whispering to Atsushi: Chuuya sounds so desperate

Chuuya: I wanna break his heart and be the one to stitch it up

Dazai: .....wait

Chuuya: Wanna kiss his face

*Dazai, smirks*

Chuuya, making a fist: with an uppercut

Dazai: oh no....

Chuuya: I wanna meet his mom, to tell her, her son sucks!!!

*ADA and PM laughing in the background*

Henry: This year, I lost my dear friend Bunny Concoran.

Bunny: stop telling everyone I am dead

Henry: you just wait :)

Dazai, slamming his glass: why doesn't he love me, dammit!

Oda: maybe you should calm down a little; following him around and spying on him would come off as creepy to him.

Ango, massaging his temples: I have no idea how you haven't gotten arrested for spying!

Dazai: maybe because we are fucking criminals that work in the Mafia, Ango? I don't think Chuuya would report ME to the police of all people....

Oda: what if he reports you to the boss?

Dazai: the boss is the one who gave me the idea of spying on Chuuya to get his attention! He has been helping me all along!

Oda:......

Ango: that sounds like him.

*Meanwhile*

Chuuya: that idiot mackerel has been following me around for a week! Can you stop him?

Mori: interesting, have you thought of giving in and going out with him?

Chuuya: of course no----wait a minute! THAT'S your question? Shouldn't you stop that crazy ass behaviour?

Mori: I have decided to send you two on a joint mission to Hawaii....for a month.

Chuuya: huh? What will we do there? Have a honeymoon?

Mori:....

Chuuya: NOOOOO

How much do you think Richard lied about the story?

Because I think he was lying about a LOT of stuff. I do not trust words that come from this man. He is sus.

Since he is talking about the past, it could all be misunderstandings and blurry memories (he was high half of the time) Or it could be just lies.

My favourite headcanon is that Richard was writing a book about his college life. He is a bit delusional and grandiose so when he went to college, he expected to have this main character vibe going on. But his college life was as normal as any of ours and he was disappointed. So, he tried to live vicariously through a book, which he wrote as an "autobiography" (he literally starts the book with "this is a story of my follies"). Richard is telling us, the reader, "his" story. He is acknowledging it as a "real" story. But that too is a lie. Richard made it all up. All the characters were written by him.

That's why Camilla was portrayed as an angel, she is the heroine, his damsel in distress, love interest. Henry was the mythical Jay Gatsby to Richard's Nick Carraway. Henry was someone he could obsess over and idolise. Francis is the gay one, he is another 'kind of' love interest, he is always making passes at Richard, he is snarky and a bit grumpy, that's his entire character. Charles is the mean villain, he is abusing Camilla and committing incest, his existence makes all of them appear better than they are. Bunny was homophobic to a degree that didn't make any sense, he was in a fucking Greek class and was friends with all these people with major gay vibes, what did he expect? If Bunny was sympathetic, we wouldn't have accepted the murder so quickly. And Julian is Julian, he is so out of reach and ethereal; depicted as a type of teacher we would love to have, the story's John Keating.

Now when we come to the ending. The only one who gets to live a "normal" life and has any success (at least graduating college) was Richard. Yeah, Camilla turned him down and all but, he doesn't seem that mad about it (he admitted he loved Henry too, which gives major Nick Carraway vibes) He doesn't really face any consequences of what they all did (he is an accomplice to murder after all)

Camilla is traumatised, she is still in love with Henry and he fucking died in front of her. Her relationship with Charles is ruined and that would be traumatising as well.

Francis is forced to stay in the closet with no choice in the person he dates. And he almost dies of a suicide because of that. He is done with life.

Charles tried rehab but then ran away with a woman in her 30s that was married. His life is a complete mess and he has no contact with his old friends or sister.

Henry commited suicide and Bunny was murdered by his own friends.

Out of all these situations, Richard was the lucky one. He still has ties to Camilla and Francis and they still are kind of friends. He graduated and got a job. He dates one of the most popular girls at college and moves in with her for some time. He is doing something in his life.

In the end, Richard got the best of all of them. Maybe because that's just his real life. He doesn't have a crazy backstory. He doesn't have a huge personality. He doesn't have many connections to these characters. He gets the best ending. He is always the outsider. He is the narrator. He is a liar. He is a storyteller.

It's Richard's world, we are all just living in it.

(I know this theory is not at all true. Donna Tartt was not going for it to be like this. But I find the idea of Richard faking the entire book for his own entertainment and delusion, fascinating. And it's even plausible because of his personality)

Just imagine if TSH happened in the present day. The afterward would be just Richard going to his desk job with four hours of sleep and revealing he was writing an OC self-insert fanfiction about a modern Greek tragedy in AO3.

(okay, this turned out so funny. I get Richard, I want to escape from my boring life with writing too)

Richard : There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Charles: Have everyone stand.

Camilla: Bring three more chairs!

Francis : The most important ones can sit down.

Bunny: Make them fight for the chairs!

Henry: Kill three.