30 Minutes Left

hey girl can i hack my way into your heart? *leans on trash can in a cool way* *trash fucking falls on my head and i am now covered in trash juice* *finger guns in shame*

Born to be a muppet, forced to be a man

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

why do men know how to read

ceo of paramount voice (on the phone) wehave gotten a 1000% increase in subscribers since beavis and butthead marriage so next season we are gona need a little more. uh huh. (nodding) with tongue yes

The rats are conducting dark rituals in my living room

Makes your homestuck into the dollar store rubber collectibles you used to chew on as a kid.