Fish Guts

And the world said "I'll hurt you " and I said "I've had worse",

and the world said "I'll hate you" and I said "I tried that, it doesn't work",

and the world said "your body is wrong and it will rot",

and I said "it's doing so already, but no wonder you forgot",

and the world said "I'd rather you didn't exist",

and I said "you do you, man, but I'm going to stay here",

and the world fell apart 'cause it had nothing more to say,

and I played in its guts 'till it started to rain,

and the rain washed the world whole and it said "sorry dude,

I wanted to be gentle, it's just easier to be rude",

and I said "yeah, I saw your big heart,

I just think it'd be wiser if we stayed apart",

and the world said "that would be for the best"

and flew off into the stars and I finally

got to rest.

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”

i hate being disabled so much. i stood on the side walk across my house for half an hour because it was so hard to cross. i hate it so much i hate it so so so much

left foot, right foot, left foot, one step at a time. Hope is a thing with dirt under her fingernails.

i'm just thinking abt how many providers i've had who heard my story abt psychiatric abuse + immediately individualized it. "oh, you're so smart + kind+ obviously sane! you didn't deserve that! i can't believe they gave you that diagnosis when you're obviously not like that! they shouldn't have treated u like that when all you did was xyz! they shouldn't have assumed you were crazy like that!"

there is always a third person haunting this interaction- the patient who does deserve that, who is "actually" that evilscary diagnosis, who did Have To be treated like that. if i want to soak up the affirmations of these providers, i must be careful to never become this third person. i must affirm myself by setting myself apart from her- i did not deserve to be treated like that because i am not like that.

i reject this. not only was i like that, she + everyone else like that deserve everything i deserve. they are my siblings + my friends + my lovers. i do not need to cut them out of me to believe i deserved better. i refuse to comfort myself through the lens of someone else's dehumanization. the tragedy is not that psychiatric violence was applied to someone who not insane enough to warrant it. the tragedy is the violence.

"my clothes look homemade" "my art isnt good" "im not a good singer" well, do it anyways

considering how many transmascs were legitimately way angrier BEFORE starting T and have since calmed down significantly have we perhaps considered that maybe the reason so many cis dudes are angry and aggressive isn't because of testosterone but maybe. like. personal issues. unmet needs. a social climate that teaches them that there are only like three acceptable social outlets for men max and one of them is being angry and shouting

it made so much sense to me when gerard followed dan howell on twitter cause despite being 15 years older mf always looked the exact same as dan and phil in any photo with a fan circa 2014-2016