MODERN AU KAZZLE DAZZLE

I LOVE THESE SM

Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom

"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."

"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."

"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.

"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."

"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."

"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."

"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."

"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"

"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."

"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."

"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."

"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."

"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."

"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."

"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."

"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."

"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."

"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."

"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"

"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."

"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."

"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."

"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."

"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."

"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."

"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."

Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.

"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"

Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.

He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.

He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.

"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.

"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"

"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.

"Wait. Is my tie straight?"

OMG I LOVE IT

Nikolai and Kaz - Grishaverse

Artist: @/meridyan_art / @meridyan-art

Also did the show just like forget that when Five saw Diego dead, he kept trying to wake him up in the apocalypse. Did they forget that he sat near his brother’s corpse completely distraught and Diego was the only person that Five actually shook? Five would never do this shit to him man

This is the truest thing I've seen in Tumblr.

Lol I love this

it's very funny how Freddy is a complete cinnamon roll with a precious smile and the characters that he plays are dark and intimidating

Jesper: thanks Saints, Nina, you are free, can you watch my presentation “Why Wylan should marry me”?

Nina being actually busy: I am not fr….

Jesper: It is only few slides long!

*125 slides later*

Jesper: … and this is why Wylan should marry me, thank you for your attention and thanks in advance for your questions.

Nina: ok, I have questions. Why this presentation even exists? And do you even notice that Wylan was here all this time? If it is your idea of how to propose, we need to have a serious conversation, Jesper Llewellyn.

Wylan who was watching this presentation with a bunch of snacks: oh, no, I am already saw this presentation 10 times, and I already made us an appointment at the Church of Barter. Actually, I proposed. But he isn’t trying to convince me, he made this to convince Kaz to give us a blessing.

Nina: And…

Wylan: Don’t ask me why he thinks that we need blessing of Kaz Brekker, I don’t know. We already wrote a letter to my father in Hellgate and he sent us back 15 pages of curses, I think this is better than any blessing.

Jesper: I tried to talk with Kaz about it and said that I know that Wylan is too good for me, and he said “oh, perfect, I don’t need to talk with you” and closed a door in my face!

Nina: It is really explaining why so much slides are about investments and that slide with photo of Inej in the costume of Wylan’s attendant.

Jesper: And this remind me of my second presentation “Why Kaz Brekker should be my best man”. *turning on second presentation* First reason: Inej….

2) Brekker boi

#2) Kaz

I'm starting a new thread abt the crow's insta stories.

First up, Matty<3

1# MATTHIAS

Naw cuz she adopted me a while back

Ashok: How many kids do you have?

Bhumika: Biologically? Emotionally? Or legally?

What actually happened yes.

I suggest finishing Crooked Kingdom on chapter 39, namely at the moment, “But then she saw him striding toward her across the empty square. He raised his hand in greeting.”

The Crows got their revenge, eventually got their money and lived happily ever after, making their dreams come true.

Happy end. Xoxo.

A six of crows meme I made when I was supposed to be doing my homework. Hope you enjoy :)