I Hope This Is A Safe Space (and If It Isn't I Don't Care) But I Truly Despise The Hc Of Remus Being

*me into a mic*: “Tonks is a lesbian”

*everyone boos* “they’re right” someone says, and that person is Remus Lupin

Sirius: what if the earth was flat?

regulus: I would jump off

Sirius: what if the earth was flat?

Remus: I’d push you off the edge

A elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.

First she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart.

"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."

I once got half way though a fic before realizing that it was a incest fic with Sirius and Regulus. Only to realize that I had been reading Remus as Regulus and I was in fact good to continue reading it

does anyone else speed-read marauders fics and read Remus as regulus and vice versa and are super confused when regulus talks about how awesome and hot and just totally awesome and kissable Sirius is and when Remus talks about how much he’s in love with James and how infuriatingly wonderful he is?? or is everyone else normal

Please for the love of everything holy and unholy think of a better conspiracy theory than the Meg still existing. Believe in ghost or aliens or that whatever famous celebrity is dead for all I care. BUT THE MEG IS EXTINCT AND HAS BEEN FOR AWHILE

Like yes I'm listen to Gregorian chants dont play with me rn

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

Reblog to have the most homoerotic year of your life 2024

MHA BOYS WHEN YOU KISS THEIR NECK

*ੈ✩‧₊ bakugo katsuki ┊ midoriya izuku ┊ todoroki shoto

content: smut, f!reader, established relationship, casual sex, public sex, creampie, no protection, mild degradation, reader is called baby and angel, all characters portrayed are adults.

When KATSUKI wakes, it’s due to the feeling of warm hands trailing up his body. You start low on his hips, moving over the small trail of blonde hair on his stomach before making it to the destination of the shiny pink scars on his chest. His hands grip yours once he feels you fondle him, squeezing around what you insist on calling his ‘tits’.

“Fuck are you doin’?” His voice is heavy with sleep, letting only one eye open to glance at you from above. You look adorable, hard nipples poking underneath his t-shirt and your eyes shining in your own mischievous way. You must have known he was awake, knew he’d stop you once you traveled too far. Your arrangement was simple, quick fucks here and there when you were stuck on a mission together. Nothing serious, no strings attached.

“I just wanted to see if you were awake, baby.”

“Well, I am, so get the fuck off me.”

You frown at this but quickly regain your composure. “You’re so mean, Katsu,” his grip on your wrists has loosened enough that you’re able to start touching him again, squeezing his perky flesh and letting your thumbs graze over his nipples. He lets out a hiss and leans up to stop you, but you press down on his chest until he’s flat against the mattress. He could easily push you off of him, but he doesn’t. He growls out your name through clenched teeth.

“Stop fucking around.” But you don’t listen.

As a matter of fact, you press hot opened-mouth kisses all over him, making sure to give extra attention to every scar. You make a show out of it, giving your best performance with every bite and lick. This is far too intimate and Katsuki knows he should put an end to it — but then your mouth presses against that sweet spot on his neck, the place only you have been able to weaponize against him and he can’t stop himself from tugging your mouth to his own, large hand gripping the nape of your neck. You are rust and stardust, an addiction that Katsuki doesn’t know how to let go of.

He chooses to ignores the way you start to grind against his cock, the wet patch on his boxers making him shiver.

IZUKU tugs at the lace material on your hips, nimble fingers pulling them off of you with such gentle care that you almost giggle. You decide against it in hopes that you won’t scare him away. He was just so nervous, worried that one wrong move would make you want to back out of this. Never mind the fact that his face was smothered in your breast only moments before.

When your panties are finally down to your ankles, the man in front of you leans in eagerly to get a taste, but your hand lands on his head, dark green curls forced between your fingers. “Slow down, baby,” You feel him shiver at the pet name, “I need you to do something else for me.”

He looks confused when you pull your panties off of your ankles and dangle them in front of his face. “I want you to stroke your cock with these while you eat my pussy.” You watch in real time as Izuku’s expression goes from confusion to shock, cheeks turning such a pretty pink as he leans up again until you’re face to face. You can’t help but smile at the view.

He is so unbelievably handsome, his chest decorated with freckles and sharp lines. You’d give anything to run your tongue along his ridges, taste the saltiness of his skin with the muscle. Instead, you lean in closer and start to press gentle kisses against his neck, unable to ignore the way his grip on your thigh tightens from the contact and how his hips press into yours. His cock is firmly molded against your pussy and you’re almost certain that you feel him twitch at the contact.

“Oh,” you tease, “did I get your pink little cock that hard already? If you touch yourself with my panties I doubt you’ll be able to hold on.”

“I will!” He insists, his voice a bit too loud. Your hand moves to slap over his mouth. The walls of your apartment were thinner than most. You slowly ease your hand from him and the desperation in his voice almost makes you want to do it again. “I-I’m-Fuck. S-Sorry. Just-“ His pretty green eyes are glossy now and he reaches over to your once discarded panties, gripping the wet material in his scarred hand and wrapping it around the base of his cock. “Please just… Kiss me there again.”

SHOTO grips onto your hips tighter, bouncing you on his lap as his cock buries itself into you with each thrust. Your slick has dripped down your soft thighs and coats the top of his.

You whimper and shake against his chest as each wet smack sends a shiver up your spine. You press your face into his neck to muffle your moans and your husband leans even deeper into his office chair, your pink heels clattering onto the ground.

It was a humid summer day, the heat making even the AC work overtime. The only person in the office able to handle it was of course the man who could regulate his own temperature. In an effort to spend more time with him, you brought over some popsicles to share. Of course when he saw your skimpy little outfit and the way your tongue wrapped around the frozen treat—he soon had you pressed into his desk with his face between your thighs—making you cum on his tongue more times than you can count.

“Angel,” he murmurs, hot pants against your shoulder. “you’re burning up.” It was true, even though your top was tugged down and you only had on a little jean skirt that was pushed up to your navel. Shoto slows his movements to wrap his arms around you, his right hand caressing your skin. You grind against him for relief, the cool of his fingers tending to the hot skin of your back. “Thank you,” you breathe out, mind hazy as you press sloppy kisses to his neck.

Shoto can’t help the way his hips jolt up, shoving his face into your shoulder as he holds you tighter. “Fuck,” he breathes out. You continue your attack on his neck, nipping and sucking on the skin to get more reactions out of the usually stoic man. His hands are all over you now, your ass and tits.

“Baby I’m-“ he gasps. “I'm sorry I can’t-“ You taste the saltiness of his sweat as he fully lets himself go, pumping his load into you in long white spurts. When his cock starts to soften, Shoto pulls away with a sheepish look on his face and pouts.

“I think my popsicle is melted now.”

note: this is another revamp of work I did way back in the day. I think my writing has gotten better, especially in terms of characterization! this morning I woke up and had to dispel this demon so I hope you all enjoyed!

© 2023 TODOROSIE. all original work / writing posted on this blog belong to me. do not plagiarize, translate, or repost. this includes any form of feeding my work to AI apps and sites.

Shower thoughts: water

I love how Sirius and Regulus are both huge drama queens, but in two completely different way.

At the slightest inconvenience, Sirius would roll on the floor and whine, demanding 100% of his friends' attention, while Regulus would simply go drown himself in the lake.