You Brought A Cheese Knife To The Knife Fight, Which Isn’t Technically Wrong, But Is Definitely An

My siblings and I shouldn’t watch movies...

Officer: *points at lineup* Who did it?

Me: It was the bear.

Officer: CUFF HIM!

Other Officer: *sobbing* The cuffs won’t fit!  They keep sliding off!

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

caesars assassination but with empty cardboard tubes

Asthmatic: I can’t breathe.

Doctor: We have medicine!

Asthmatic: Okay great, give it-

Doctor: You just have to hold your breath!

Asthmatic: But I can’t breathe-

Doctor: Hold your breath!

Asthmatic:

Doctor:

Asthmatic:

Doctor:

Asthmatic: *dies*

I made this, please feel free to use

"Oh being a writer must be so cool and artistic"

No being a writer is frantically googling shit like this at 1 am on a work night

In High School Musical 2 Sharpay very clearly states that they have “…Iced tea imported from England, life guards imported from Spain, towels imported from Turkey, and turkey imported from Maine.” In order to import an item, it must come from another country. The series is set in Albequerque, New Mexico, and as New Mexico and Maine are both part of the United States Of America, they cannot have their turkey imported from Maine. As most of the characters are white, and all speak English, this clearly indicates that High School Musical takes place in an alternate universe where a second Civil War has split the nation and New Mexico is no longer part of the Union, based on the fact that we never see the characters celebrate the Fourth of July. In this essay I will