I Absolutely Love This, And I Raise You; Stealing Bruce's Hoodies

I absolutely love this, and I raise you; Stealing Bruce's hoodies

Now, I don't think he'd be much of a hoodie guy, but things are starting to get a little chillier as fall is fast approaching gotham, and he sees all of his kids with them so he figures it must be worth at least trying, right?

The only issue is, he keeps losing his. He doesn't understand at first, he's sure that someone is fucking with him, because there's no way he could loose 6 hoodies without something happening to them. Loses one, buys another, loses that one, it's a vicious cycle, etc. He can only ever wear one for a couple weeks before - poof - they're gone, he can't seem to find them anywhere.

He's completely baffled until he catches Jason in the batcave, wearing a hoodie that seems just a little too big for him, it covers most of his hands and seems to droop a little farther than normal. Bruce squints a little at first, it strikes him as odd that Jason's hoodie was too large, it just wasn't his style. However, Upon further inspection, Bruce recognizes it as his own.

Jason, for one, is ecstatic to finally be on the receiving of someone larger's hoodie- I mean, sure, Dick's we're nice, but there was something guiltily comforting about the way the sleeves dropped a little past where they were supposed to, the way the fabric fell a little looser than normal and it smelled very vaguely of home, and safety. Not that he would ever say that to Bruce's face, but Jason was glad Bruce had gotten himself some hoodies- the unsuspecting fool.

Bruce, on the other hand, is little surprised, but not opposed. He hadn't really taken Jason for the kind of person to steal clothes, but, he thinks it's a kind of cute. Not that he would say that to Jason's face, lest risking the red hood's wrath, but there is no denying the warmth that blooms in his chest at the sight. He figures he should talk to him about the hoodies though, there's no way he could really need all six of them, surely.

Only, Jason doesn't have all six, as it turns out he is not the only one in the household to make a habit out of stealing the warm over-shirts. The next time Bruce spots one of his children sporting his hoodies, he's surprised to find Damian, of all his kids, sitting on a couch reading something in a hoodie that reaches down to nearly his knees. Bruce is nothing short of utterly perplexed, shocked to find his youngest child snuggled up in a hoodie that is much too big for him, completely unashamed as he flips a page.

There is an equally warm feeling that spreads through him this time, though it does nothing to quell his confusion. Bruce wants to inquire, wants to demand an explanation, but finds that either the question is too intimidating or he simply cannot bring himself to interrupt, he's not sure which. Instead, Bruce opts to pay a little more attention to how everyone is dressing, and it isn't long before he recognizes the patterns.

He catches Tim pacing around in one of Jason's leather jackets, watches as Cass sports a loose sweatshirt of Dukes while she works out, and notices when Jason borrow a warm, winter jacket from Dicks wardrobe one night at dinner. Bruce is fascinated by the bizarre ritual, though glad to be a part of it as he watches all six of his missing hoodies pop up across his myriad of wards, something warm and fuzzy pulling at his heart when he sees them.

Bruce considers buying one more hoodie, one for himself, to keep out of reach, but figures ultimately that it would be a waste, given all of the ones available to him. So, instead, Bruce shows up to the batcave one morning, tired but satisfied as he draws looks from his children, knowing full well why there's staring. Dick looks almost offended, but there's a grin in his eyes as Bruce sets his mug down on the coffee table, settling himself down in his chair.

He's well aware that the fabric fits a little snug against him, but it's warm and soft and he finds he likes it just as much as any of his own hoodies. Smirking a little as he takes a sip of his coffee, he finds he understands now, why everyone's stealing. Dicks hoodie feels warm, and safe, and personal, and a little like petty revenge for all of his abducted hoodies, and he loves it.

headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.

jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.

damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.

there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).

this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.

but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.

it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.