Okay I Doubt Disney Put This Much Thought Into It But

When did I realize I wasn’t straight?

Well I suppose that’s a difficult question.

For the longest time I was convinced I would marry a man and have 5 kids. But as I learned more about the world I found terms that just felt better.

In 6th grade, I started out with saying I was bisexual because it was the first term I learned. I thought it was appropriate because I thought girls were really pretty which I thought meant I could fall in love with them. But I still never thought I could have sex with a women and I had kind just pushed out of my mind the fact that for kids I would “need” to have sex.

In the same year, I was introduced to romantic attraction terms and started going by Biromantic heterosexual. That lasted about three months when I was introduced to the term asexual.

I have identified as asexual since I was in middle school and have ever since.

I also started questioning my gender identity around this time but we’ll get back to that.

Now even though I had determined that I was ace, I still had it in my brain that I needed a romantic interest to appease the concept I grew up with.

So I jumped around between deciding who my “crush” would be. From a sweet femme person I admired to a girl that would become one of my best friends.

I tried as I might to love them the way they wanted me to. I tried so hard with putting romance behind every I love you.

But I just can’t.

I don’t feel that way.

I just don’t, no matter how I try.

And that’s okay. They accept me.

It was around the time I determined I was aro that I decided there was no point in denying that I didn’t feel like a girl.

I still don’t. I identified for awhile as androgyne because if my mom ever asked me about my gender it wouldn’t break her heart as much.

But recently I’ve determined I do like being associated with being a “girl”.

So I have decided to settle with the term Demiboy as of now.

He/they pronouns.

So.

Another 751 unmarked graves were found at a Saskatchewan residential school.

Seven hundred fifty one.

I need to rant, feel free to ignore.

Ok so

Every year I go to camp

I have been going for 4-5 years but last year due to COVID the session got canceled.

This was devastating to me because this camp is my second home, it brings me the most joy a location can.

I was absolutely stoked that I would be able to go this summer with some adjustments for COVID.

Until I found out that this’ll be the last summer.

My camp is part of this bigger organization that does a lot for its communities since it’s start but has been really going through it over the span of COVID and because they simply can’t afford to function with all of there locations, there closing most of them, including my camp.

This is my last summer.

I’ll never get to be a LIT.

I’ll never get to finish raggers.

I’ll never get to see my counselors again.

The turmoil this brings me isn’t something I like to show, but I need to get it all out.

I’m sorry.

A drag performer who inspires me?

Oh it would haaaave to be Todrick Hall.

I absolutely adore his works and his music.

Honestly I don’t know that many real drag queens as I wasn’t allowed to watch that kinda content growing up, so mostly I have discovered drag content to watch in the last two years.

Despite my drag ocs...

Nothing more punk than someone who is in pain all the fucking time and just continues to exist.

Edit: this isn't about random characters. This is about physically disabled people.

“You’re too young to be so tired”

Madame my brain is melting out my eyes from exhaustion, will you shut up

“You’re too young to be in pain”

I will end you.

Hot take but canes are not a limited resource. Most mobility aids aren’t but canes especially. Canes are $20 at a lot of stores like CVS, Walmart, etc. You aren’t taking that resource away from “real” disabled people (hint: you ARE a real disabled person) in fact buying more canes creates more demand and works to make more stores carry them for better prices. You aren’t faking being disabled or hurting disabled people, you’re working to make canes more accessible which is helping disabled people.

Get the cane.

• being disabled should not be expensive •

• being mentally i’ll should not be expensive •

What song would be playing on my pride float?

I...

I don’t know how to explain why other than I live this song and Robin is LGBTQ+.

So I’ve been struggling recently with whether or not things I’ve done actually happened. Like my dreams are so plain and “normal” they seem like everyday occurrences so I can’t recall if they actually happened or if I dreamed them.