Headcanon:

james: hey…what if mike was actually short for micycle?

lily: it’s 3 in the morning, and i swear to merlin if you don’t shut up, you will wake up without a tongue.

james: *mumbling* sirius would’ve found it funny…

lily: then by all means, go sleep with him instead.

plot: sirius is texting remus and james while he’s at a family gathering.

sirius: fuck me i hate it here.

remus: isn’t that lovely.

sirius: feeling h i g h k e y judged by some boomers for my band-tee.

james: well, you would’ve been judged whether you wore it or not.

sirius: BAHAHA FUCK-

remus: there’s this thing, idk if u know it, but it’s called the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

sirius: yeah no, i prefer to not give any fucks loudly and boldly.

remus, replying to himself: it’s very low key, i have it, and it saves me.

james: forget them, they’re probably reptiles anyways.

sirius: yeah, no, they’re too unsuccessful to be reptiles, but their dry skin is really backing up your point there prongsie.

sirius: OKAYGTGTHEYRESUMMONINGME.

hi my lovelies!!

i hope you’re enjoying the account as much i enjoy posting on it.

happy new year, and thank you all so so much for your support, it really means the world to me 🤍🤍

i just wanted to clarify that this is an anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore, and anti-snape account.

and that’s all! have a great day my lovelies <33

snape is serenading lily, and it’s quite distasteful.

snape: so come run your hands through my hair, ‘cause that’s why it’s there.

sirius (to remus and james): “come run your hands through my hair”? i can make some bloody fried chicken using all that grease in it.

plot: regulus and sirius are secretly on the facetime with each other.

regulus: mother says that my “night time calls have to stop” she thinks i’m being too disruptive while she and father are trying to sleep.

sirius: aren’t old people supposed to be, i don’t know…hard of hearing? like, what’s up with the spidey sense luv? you tryna sleep or eavesdrop?

regulus: *bursts out laughing, eventually losing balance and falling off his chair*

sirius: *bursts out laughing at regulus, and ends up falling off his bed*

both of them stayed on their floors, staring at each others’ foreheads in the camera frame, wheezing with laughter for about 10 minutes.

james: *is laying on the floor with a clear quartz stone on his head*

james: i do not chase, i attract, what belongs to me will simply find me.

sirius: *peeks his head into the dorm room*

sirius: james, come say hi to regulus in the common room.

james: HI — IM JAMES BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT — IM THE BEST CHASER HOGWARTS HAD EVER SEEN — I LIVE TO CHASE.

sirius, singing his little heart out with james’ hair brush: got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you i’m insane.

remus: they don’t have to tell me, i can see it from a mile away.

give me moots 😩🫶

(i am in no way kidding, pls dm me, i wanna be friends with all y’all <33)

Every mutual group has:

a chaotic mutual but doesn’t show it

a cinnamon roll mutual but says that they are chaotic (not true)

a mutual who wants to commit arson

a mutual who wants to commit murder

a mutual who sunshine personified

a mutual who is so cool, it intimidates you

the mutual who makes edits/moodboards etc, they are hella cool

a mutual who wants to kill god

a mutual who is god. Periodt.

a mutual who has seen all the discourses

a mutual who has gotten involved in every discourse

a mutual who gets in a discourse accidentally, they didn’t mean to

A flirty mutual

a bookworm mutual

a dark academia mutual

chaos incarnate mutual

a mutual in A continuous existential crises

a mutual who is addicted to making picrews

a parent mutual, the only one with a brain

and a popular mutual

sirius: what did i ever do to you?

remus: *pulling out a list* i thought you’d never ask.

james potter is the type of guy to clap when the plane lands, i said what i said.