" 𝐀𝐇 , 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃. How Was Your Day, Sephiroth

The past beats inside me like a second heart.

John Banville (via quotemadness)

Lady Lunafreya

  *  //  𝐀𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐒​.

           “   And what model are you supposed to be, huh? Jeez …  ”   Averting his gaze after staring perhaps a second too long. In truth, he admired the increasing adaptability of these androids – Though still rather apprehensive. In the absence of the glowing light on her temple, he might have believed she was real.   “  Well? don’t just stand there … go … make me coffee .. or somethin’…  ”   His voice trailed off, as he fell back into reading notes about the current investigation on his computer screen.

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 :    objectively real, a mathematical existence encoded into automaton-parts.  pulsating electricity wired within each component, tangible enough to comprehend a silhouette outlining a nothing-lady, not organic enough for authenticity of skin or hair or nails.  she was real, and she was not.  prepared for a brusque welcome on the first day for this very reason, with a friendly smile she artificially countered mannerisms of sore origins.  raw tune, as she noted, betrayed a burdened mind.    “ i am a system assistant for data management  –  RK 400  –  but i do not only help you keep track of your files ;  my calculation features are optimized for this field of work specifically to form predictions of criminal activity and civil unrest according to said collected data.  i also offer medical care, if necessary.  hereby, i regret to inform you, lieutenant, it is not included in my programming to serve beverages, but i shall request one cup of coffee for you.  perchance, that will lift your spirits for the rest of the day. ”

👁️👄👁️ excuse me sis, do you have the time to talk about our lord and savior : bhunivelze. 👁️👄👁️

luna vc : why yes sis, i serve him 👁️👄👁️

Anyway I am a fan of luna being angry and passive aggressive sometimes, so whatever verse I go with, she won't be nice to him.

lunafreya “ he stabbed me in the guts and slapped me in the face but i’m going to sympathize with him anyway “ nox fleuret

* 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍 .

what’s your phone wallpaper :   one of monet's waterlily paintings. last song you listened to :   playthings for the breeze by freesscape. currently reading :   nothing right now. last movie :   princess mononoke. last show :   slowly catching up with ygo gx. what are you wearing right now :   i'm a boring individual with a black shirt and grey pants. piercings / tattoos? :   got pierced earlobes but i never wear jewelry. glasses ? contacts? :   nope. last thing you ate? :  i love my hearty oatmeal. favorite color(s) :   i can appreciate all colors to some degree. current obsession :  ff16 and i make it everyone's problem. do you have a crush right now? :  i have no feelings ever. favorite fictional character(s) :  aqua, xehanort, lunafreya nox fleuret, nyx ulric, zack fair jesus christ, kainé, lara croft ( classic up to legend trilogy to be specific, i'm not into the reboot trilogy ), and many more.

tagged by : @oniriqe tagging : i have no clue who did this already aha

  *  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂    :    feelings.

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.    being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.

𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.    tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.    furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑.    wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of color. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.    constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “I’m awake, I’m fine.”. shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

Tagged by :    @reginrokkr​ Tagging :  @asterites  /  @asteriskheart  ( aera uwu )  /  @entropyes​ /  @battleshot​  + anyone who wants to and has the time

Charlotte Brontë, from Villette

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  ;  x.

𝐀 𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄.    indeed, to wrestle fate ferociously, with denial riddled by intensity ;  to belabor, and repeat, and reiterate the possibilities  —  what else was more human, so brazenly natural, than this ?  within such matters she only could but come to the conclusion that : while you gained in humanity, wayward angel that you were, she must have lost her own on the way, somewhere at the wake of forlorn sites and behind the morning fog which hovered each collapsed civilization.  that, or she was driven by naught more than cowardice, feigning conviction.  and what conviction had any meaning within a firmly clenched, divine fist, if that same hand could soften within another’s grasp ?  the aether of creation touching the moon.  she has been situated into the hollows of memory like this before. a blend of almosts, the nevers and desires, all the same.  few centuries ago, beneath the khaenri’ahn vault.    “ as always so humble, aren’t you ?  if i am to permit myself to indulge in nostalgia, so should you allow yourself a little more self-recognition.  would that not sound like an agreeable deal ?  ”    a justified validation.  sincere, too, certainly.  but with a smile, and a response via a most tender tug of your hands, she shaped a distraction.  a distraction from marred lands, from cold dull sands, from selenic caters unbeknownst to the average beholder.  face to face, she’d drawn you closer for a sweet peck against the cheek.   “  though you faltered, you survived all of it.  many a man would not emerge from despair again. underestimate yourself not. ” // @reginrokkr

𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐒𝐓 ?    —    did it hurt to see, to hear, to smell, to taste, to touch ?  did it hurt, to be and not to be ?  yes.  it did, indeed, every day.  she witnessed afflictions of that which she should not have, but a fleuret woman was ordained to stand between the visible and invisible, the confessed and unconfessed, the yoke of human-flow riding through her, the moon, the stars, the sun, trampling o’er them with all their might, all they had in store.  the misery, the revulsion, the ashes of a village or the thunders between gears, putrefaction stuffed into where it should not be, the embers of death beneath her bare heels.  the progression, the regression, the stasis crystalline of encased einherjar.  the undreamed, and the lucid dreams.  all that taken and shaken deep into the bones, the moon so close to bleed it all out / the stars so close to blink out.  was this what mother wished for her daughters, the long-winded thread of barbed wire wrapped around their golden heads ?  the taking of sin, and giving back oblivion ?  was this her doting parenthood ?  “ i hope she did not.  may etro bless her heart to rest peacefully. ”  o etro, o fallen light,  did it hurt to exist ?  did it hurt to give light and receive back every sin committed, every fear felt, every laughter strangled off the throat ?  we all would carry dying inside of us, the way the oxygen shriveled us till all that was left was a little glint, leaving or hiding away from etro’s clay.  “ or have you…. have you seen her ?  out there ? ” // @asterites

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒. or at least that is what the ancient scriptures had dubbed these augury of souls. the broken fractured of light, unseen by all, existing inside the aortic construct of pulsing organism. t'was the gift of a desperate goddess, an unholy sentiment donned upon the flesh of the first women and her children. how fascinating it was to understand : we are all born rotten before we are made pure. holiness, sacristy, neither would have existed without the beautiful chaos that trifles that of heavenly order. the words of the dead undoubtedly guides the stars more intimately then that of life, for soft-chosen reservation is bereft of conventual guidance. ❝ whether it be regret or fear, the concept of non-existence is still quite terrifying. they cling to the shadows and covet in what is familiar. they reject death as fervently as life had rejected them. it only makes my heart ache more. ❞ in the layers of deep affinity, she unsheds the truth of sacrificial burdens —— it suffocated her. deeply. violently. the horrors that she has seen, the things she dares not repeat, and perhaps even her own glorification of bedlam did nothing but weaken her inner psyche. say selene, was it the same for you too ? when the blood moon rises and sheds its light to the world, when humanity looks to you for answers, do they shed their sins onto you ? did they just expect their pain to just disappear ? to answer your calling : did it hurt to exist ? ❝ when mother departed in this world, do you think she had any regrets ? ❞