"Stolas isn't wrong for choosing his own happiness for once after years of abuse and depression"
and
"Octavia isn't wrong for feeling betrayed by her father and fearing she's been only an obligation to him"
are two concepts that can and should coexist.
Real-life footage of me after Sinsmas:
(Send help)
It's so important to me that Stolas got to make this choice.
Yes, he's dealing with a lot. He lost everything he had. But it was finally his choice.
Stolas never got to make choices for himself. He didn't get to choose the person he married. And he didn't get to choose to be a father.
As much as he deeply loves Octavia, it wasn't his choice (in any way) that she was born.
Stolas made his first real choice in life.
For all the consequences that choice brought, he chose love.