Loving You.

Emotional Abuse

Some people won’t believe you

Because your scars are hidden

Way beneath your skin

People only believe what they can see

And that should be a sin

Your Little Things

when the wind starts to pick up

and the storms come,

sit with me

and see all your little things.

like the way you look at me.

with those eyes,

and how they’ve never told me lies.

or how as you fall asleep,

you fall into me.

or when you’re happy,

how your eyes shine like the stars.

and your smile,

makes me want to walk the isle.

or even when you’re sad,

and you come to me,

i promise i won’t get mad.

i only want you to see

the beauty that you have.

so when your storms come,

sit with me in the rain.

and we’ll find all your little things

fires trickle through my veins

fires i know i have lit

the ache in my bones weigh me down

no matter how light i make myself

feeling the weakness in my heart

barely pumping blood to my torn body

and yet i still smile

because this is the way,

the only way they’ll love me.

Martyrs

Be my Romeo

I’ll be your Juliet

Let’s get married and run away

Finish their story

Let our love be seen in all its glory

We’ll live in our own secret world

We’ll forget our names and who we were

Let us be so in love

That we are no longer two

But one

Let our story be read by scholars and in schools

Let us be martyrs for a force stronger than any god we’ve ever known

My Romeo, let us be martyrs for a love stronger than what anyone’s seen before.

Stick to the Plan.

the cycle starts again.

why do i keep messing up?

just stick to the plan.

learn to stop talking.

you have to stick to the plan.

stop hurting the people you love.

stick to the plan.

jesus, have some self control.

stick to the plan.

you’ve been this way for so long,

why can’t you stick to the plan?

what’s wrong with your brain?

can’t you just stick to the plan?

you promised yourself you’d stop,

just stick to the plan.

it’s really not that hard.

stick to the plan.

you’re not trying hard enough to fix yourself.

if you’d just stick to the plan,

you wouldn’t be stuck in these problems.

stick. to. the. plan.

- a girl with no self-control. who acts on impulse even when she knows it’s wrong; who doesn’t know how to describe the way she feels; she never knows when to stop and god does she wish she did.

And the stars in our heart.

“The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”

— Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and Song of Despair

her body is so broken

and yet she’s still fighting

with no one standing by her side

she’s fighting

for herself

against herself

and the cycle never ends

As they laughed and pointed

I stood there

Half frozen in the 20 degree weather

My legs were purple

and not just from the cold

I acted like I could withstand the pain

So they’d see I was strong

But I guess I was wrong

I hoped they’d stop

I smiled and laughed

As they beat me down

But I’d always get up

I had to

I covered my legs

So no one could see

The pain on the outside of me

So I know you’re trying to help

But I’ve turned cold

Like my body

The days I was out on that field

“All we know

Is that stars will fall

And holidays come and go”

I've always been the one to talk too much or too loud, but in those moments she was there. Her silent rivers flowed across my cheeks as she tried to comfort me. I used to think she and I were nothing alike, but in growing up, she became all that I was. Silence, the kind of comforting ache that sits with you while you’re talked over and forgotten, but she never forgets you. She once held me in her arms while I sat and watched the stars. I saw a shooting star and wished for her to leave, so I could be heard; yet she always found her way back to me. In silent car rides and silent rooms, she held me the way I wished my mother would. Eventually, I learned to appreciate her. I meditated with her and learned her language. She told me she loved me, but hated that I was becoming her. She told me to speak, to be heard. It's hard at first when she is all you know, but I wanted to be heard. I wanted to be seen. So I became louder and louder and she cheered me on from the quiet corners of every room