THIS WAS TOOO GOOD!!! Omgg!!! Love This!!’
THIS WAS TOOO GOOD!!! omgg!!! love this!!’
Cupids Clumsy Love Mission (Send help!) - PSH
pairing: Park Sunghoon x F!reader summary: You’re the worst Cupid ever, and your final mission is to make Park Sunghoon fall in love before Valentines Day. Instead? You accidentally shoot his best friends. Can you fix this disaster? Or will you fail at love—again? genre: Romance wc: 5.3k
I rushed this cuz I just wanted to post something for Valentines Day
Being a Cupid isn’t all pink hearts and romance. It’s stressful, and if you mess up even a little, you get yelled at by your very terrifying boss.
And you? Well, you mess up a lot.
Right now, you’re standing in Arch-Cupid Aphrodite’s grand, sparkling office, feeling like you’re about to be fired. Again.
Aphrodite—who is currently rubbing her temples like you personally gave her a migraine—lets out the longest, most dramatic sigh you’ve ever heard. “Y/N. My dear, hopelessly clumsy Cupid. Do you have any idea why you’re here?”
You do. But you also don’t feel like answering because the last time you did, you got lectured for an hour.
So, you try to look adorably innocent. “Because… I’m one of your most promising Cupids?”
Aphrodite stares at you. Jungwon, your immediate supervisor (who is standing in the corner looking so done), actually snorts.
“You,” Aphrodite says, her voice sweet like poison, “are the biggest walking disaster this realm has ever seen.”
“That’s a little dramatic.”
Jungwon clears his throat. “You accidentally made a grandmother fall in love with her neighbor’s parrot last week.”
You wince. “Okay, but to be fair—”
“And let’s not forget,” Aphrodite continues, eyes burning into you, “that you once hit two people with a single arrow. Do you remember what happened then?”
You do.
That time, you accidentally struck two mortal enemies. It was beautiful for about ten minutes—until they realized what had happened and ended up confessing their hatred for each other instead.
In short: Chaos.
Aphrodite pinches the bridge of her nose. “You are officially on thin ice. One more mistake, and I will demote you.”
Your heart plummets. “Demote me to what?”
Jungwon coughs. “A Lonely Heart Fairy.”
You gasp. “That’s cruel!”
Lonely Heart Fairies don’t even get to shoot arrows. They just float around, handing tissues to heartbroken people and whispering, It’s okay, you’ll find someone someday.
That is not how you imagined your Cupid career going.
Aphrodite, looking smug at your terror, leans forward. “So, this is your final chance. One mission. One human. If you succeed, I might forgive your past mistakes.”
You straighten up, determined. “I won’t let you down.”
Aphrodite smirks. “Oh, I highly doubt that. But let’s see you try.”
Then, with a flick of her wrist, she sends the official Cupid Mission file straight into your hands. You eagerly open it and read the name inside.
TARGET: PARK SUNGHOON
MISSION: MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE BEFORE FEBRUARY 14TH
You blink.
Jungwon whistles. “Oof. Him?”
You frown. “What’s wrong with him?”
Aphrodite leans back in her chair. “Park Sunghoon is not an easy target. The guy doesn’t believe in love. He calls it a ‘scam.’”
You gape at her. “Then why is he my mission?”
“Because,” Aphrodite says, smirking, “if you can make him fall in love, it’ll prove that even you aren’t completely hopeless.”
Well. That’s rude.
But fine. Challenge accepted.
You clutch the file to your chest and swear to yourself—you will make Park Sunghoon fall in love. You will not mess up.
Spoiler alert: You absolutely mess up.
Mortal Realm – Target Locked
You arrive on Earth with the grace of a majestic, ethereal being.
Just kidding.
You trip mid-flight, nearly faceplant into a tree, and barely manage to regain your balance before anyone notices.
Shaking off the near disaster, you hover above a cozy little café where your target—Park Sunghoon is currently sitting with his best friends, Jake and Jay.
You spot him immediately.
Jet-black hair. Sharp features. Dressed in a simple but effortlessly cool outfit. He’s casually stirring his coffee, looking like he was sculpted by the gods themselves—except for the fact that his face is twisted into a deep scowl.
Yeah. That’s definitely a guy who doesn’t believe in love.
You pull out your bow and nock a glowing pink arrow.
“Alright,” you whisper to yourself. “One shot. One target. You got this.”
Sunghoon leans back in his chair, sighing as he mutters, “Valentine’s Day is just a corporate scam to sell chocolate and flowers.”
Jay rolls his eyes. “Here we go again.”
Jake, ever the golden retriever of the group, gasps dramatically. “You don’t believe in love?”
Sunghoon scoffs. “No. It’s fake.”
You gasp. Blasphemy.
This man needs to be humbled. And you’re just the Cupid to do it.
With renewed determination, you take aim, steady your grip, and release—
And then your foot catches on a rogue cloud.
You yelp as you lose balance mid-air. Your arrow, which was perfectly aimed for Sunghoon’s heart, goes completely off course—
—And smacks straight into Jake’s back.
You have made many mistakes in your Cupid career.
Once, you accidentally shot an arrow into a wedding bouquet, causing the bride to fall in love with the cake. Another time, you somehow managed to hit a guy who was already in love, making him propose on the spot—except it wasn’t to his girlfriend, but to a random waitress.
But this? This is a new low.
Because right now, you’re watching Jake Sim—the human embodiment of a golden retriever—practically glow with love as he gazes at Jay like he just discovered the meaning of life.
And Jay?
Jay looks horrified.
“This is bad,” you mutter under your breath, hovering above the chaos.
Understatement of the year.
Jake’s Problem? He’s Now Head Over Heels for Jay.
Jake has always been affectionate. But now, thanks to your horrible aim, he’s dialed it up to a hundred.
Currently, he’s practically bouncing after Jay as they walk down the street.
“Jay,” Jake sighs dreamily. “You have the best fashion sense. Like, how do you always look so cool?”
Jay pulls his hoodie up, walking faster. “I don’t wanna talk about this.”
Jake, completely ignoring him, continues, “And your voice? It’s got that deep vibe, you know? I feel like you should be a narrator for a really romantic drama.”
Jay stops dead in his tracks.
He turns, expression unreadable. “Jake.”
Jake beams. “Yeah?”
Jay looks him dead in the eyes. “I will fight you.”
Jake’s smile widens. “You’d totally win.”
Jay lets out the deepest sigh of his life.
Sunghoon, standing to the side with his hands shoved in his pockets, just watches the whole exchange. He glances between his best friends, squinting like he’s trying to solve a math problem.
“Okay,” Sunghoon finally says. “What the hell is wrong with you two?”
Jay groans. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”
Jake grabs Jay’s hand dramatically. “Jay, don’t act like you don’t feel it too.”
Jay yanks his hand away so fast it nearly dislocates Jake’s arm. “I don’t feel it.”
Sunghoon sighs, looking utterly bored. “Is this your way of telling us you two are in love or something? Because I honestly couldn’t care less.”
Jay gags. “No!”
Jake blinks. “Wait, do you not like me back?”
Jay looks him straight in the eye. “I would rather be run over by a bus.”
Jake pouts. “Ouch.”
Sunghoon shrugs. “Well, that clears things up.”
Jake, still pouting, turns back to Jay. “But you could like me, right?”
Jay groans again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t like you, and I never will.”
You, watching from above, feel guilty at the sheer amount of distress on Jay’s face.
Jungwon, through the Cupid communication line, is screaming.
Jungwon: FIX IT. FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
Heeseung: I say we wait.
You? You’re panicking.
Because Cupid arrows are strong. They don’t just fade in an hour. If you don’t fix this, Jake is going to be hopelessly in love with Jay until next Valentine’s Day.
So you do what any desperate Cupid would do:
You grab another arrow, aim at Sunghoon, and fire.
And then—because you are you—Jay chooses that exact moment to move in front of him.
Jay. Gets. Hit.
You want to scream.
Because now, instead of one person suffering, both Jake and Jay are staring at each other like they’ve just discovered true love.
Jay, who only minutes ago looked like he wanted to punch Jake into another dimension, suddenly tilts his head.
“Wait,” Jay says slowly, eyes softening. “Jake, have your eyelashes always been that long?”
Jake gasps. “You noticed?!”
Jay suddenly looks deeply troubled. “Why do I care?”
Sunghoon, watching this disaster unfold, just stares.
Then, without missing a beat, he takes a sip of his coffee and says, “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.”
You are dying.
Up in Cupid HQ, Jungwon has officially lost it.
Jungwon: I want you fired.
Ni-ki: Best day of my life.
Your Crisis? Sunghoon STILL Doesn’t Believe in Love.
You cannot believe this.
This guy is ridiculous.
You’ve literally shot two of his best friends with powerful love arrows, and his reaction? Mild annoyance.
Sunghoon, watching Jake and Jay now complimenting each other’s hairstyles, lets out the longest sigh.
“I’m going home,” he announces, walking away without a care in the world.
Jake and Jay don’t even notice.
You? You are on the verge of tears.
Jungwon is still screaming at you through the Cupid system.
Ni-ki? Laughing so hard he might pass out.
And you?
You have no idea how to fix this.
But one thing is for sure:
This mission is already a disaster.
Cupid Rule #1: Never shoot yourself with your own arrow.
Cupid Rule #2: Never shoot yourself with your own arrow.
Cupid Rule #3: If you do shoot yourself with your own arrow… just accept the fact that you’ve ruined everything.
And yet, here you are.
Floating above a coffee shop, clutching your chest like a dramatic K-drama lead, because your own stupid love arrow is now lodged in you.
Up in Cupid HQ, everyone is losing their minds.
Ni-ki: OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
Heeseung: I am so happy to be alive right now.
Jungwon: I need a new job.
You? You are screwed.
But before you can even process what just happened, let’s rewind a little—
Sunghoon, The Oblivious Skeptic, Finally Notices Something is Off
Sunghoon is not dumb.
He may not believe in love, but he knows his best friends. And right now? His best friends are acting insane.
For one, Jake—who normally spends half his time annoying Jay and the other half talking about his dog—is suddenly acting like a love-struck poet.
He’s sitting on the café couch with his notebook open, eyes shining as he reads out loud:
“Jay, your voice is like the deep bass in my favorite song—”
“Jake, stop.”
“Your eyes? Pools of mystery, endless depth—”
“STOP.”
Jay, who normally meets Jake’s antics with an eye roll and a punch to the arm, is now blushing.
BLUSHING.
Sunghoon stares. Hard.
“What,” Sunghoon finally says, “is wrong with you two?”
Jake grins like a lovesick idiot. “We just get each other, man.”
Sunghoon blinks. “No, you don’t.”
Jay clears his throat, trying—and failing—to hide his flustered expression. “It’s not a big deal.”
Jake scoots closer, looking way too happy. “Jay, do you believe in fate?”
Sunghoon gags. “Oh my god.”
Jay’s entire face heats up. “I—I don’t—”
Sunghoon immediately slaps his hands over his ears. “Nope. I refuse to listen to this.”
He stands up, pacing. “You two are messing with me. That’s the only explanation. You’re pranking me.”
Jay crosses his arms. “Do you really think I would put myself through this willingly?”
Jake gasps, placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Jay, how could you?”
Sunghoon watches them for a long moment, before finally saying, “Okay. I don’t know what kind of experiment you guys are running, but I’m out.”
With that, he turns to leave.
Which means it is finally your chance to fix this.
Your Genius Plan (That Backfires Horribly)
You have been hiding behind a cloud this whole time, desperately trying to figure out how to salvage this mess.
Jake and Jay? Disasters.
Sunghoon? Still as emotionally unavailable as a locked safe.
Your mission? Still a failure.
But not for long.
Because this time, you’re prepared.
You grip your bow, pull back the string, and line up the perfect shot. Sunghoon is standing still, facing away from you. No distractions. No mistakes. You can do this.
You take a deep breath—
—And then, at the exact moment you release the arrow, Sunghoon suddenly turns his head.
Your eyes widen. Your stomach drops.
And before you can do anything—
The arrow hits you.
Cupid HQ: The Breakdown
The moment the arrow lodges itself into your chest, everything in Cupid HQ explodes.
Ni-ki screams so loudly, his audio cuts out.
And Jungwon?
Jungwon just silently places his head on his desk.
Ni-ki: Oh my God. You idiot.
Jungwon: I am filing my resignation.
And you?
Well.
You’re in trouble.
The Sudden, Horrifying Realization
The moment the arrow hits, your heart skips a beat.
And then it skips again when Sunghoon looks up.
You stare at him. Your face heats up.
Oh.
Oh no.
Because suddenly, Sunghoon’s messy hair looks a little more attractive than before.
And his sharp, unimpressed gaze? Feels more like smoldering intensity.
And when he crosses his arms and tilts his head—you almost swoon.
You clap a hand over your mouth.
No. No. NO.
This cannot be happening.
You weren’t supposed to fall for him.
Jungwon: How does it feel to be the dumbest Cupid in history?
Heeseung: We should let this play out.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon is Still Clueless
Sunghoon, completely unaware that you are currently losing your mind over him, sighs.
“Whatever. I’m going home.”
He turns, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and starts walking.
You just hover there, staring.
Is he… kinda cute?
No. No, no, NO. Get it together, Y/N.
But then he pushes a hand through his hair—casually, effortlessly—and the sunlight catches on his skin, making him glow just a little—
And you die inside.
This is the worst day of your entire existence.
The New, Horrifying Problem
You were supposed to make Sunghoon fall in love.
Instead, you shot yourself.
And now?
You have a tiny, very inconvenient crush on the one person who doesn’t believe in love.
Cupid HQ is still in chaos.
Jungwon is weeping. Ni-ki is wheezing. Heeseung is sending bets in the group chat.
And you?
You are so doomed.
Let’s do a quick recap.
You, a very bad Cupid, were supposed to make Park Sunghoon fall in love.
Instead, you shot his best friends, created an accidental love triangle, and—for the grand finale—shot yourself.
Now, you have a tiny, highly inconvenient crush on the one person who thinks romance is a scam.
Ni-ki is still laughing about it. Jungwon looks like he’s aged ten years. Heeseung? He’s treating this whole disaster like premium entertainment.
And you?
You are struggling.
It turns out, having feelings for someone makes you insufferably dumb.
Because now, every single thing Sunghoon does feels like a personal attack.
Like, when he pushes his hair back?
Why is that attractive?! It’s just hair!
Or when he leans against a wall with his arms crossed, looking all broody?
And don’t even get started on the way his jaw clenches when he’s annoyed.
One second, he’s frowning at his phone, and the next—
“OH MY GOD,” you whisper-shriek, floating behind him in total distress.
You slap a hand over your face, trying to will yourself into being normal.
It does not work.
Meanwhile, Jake and Jay Are Thriving
While you are having a full-blown crisis, Jake and Jay? They’re living their best romcom lives.
Jake, ever the golden retriever, has fully embraced his new romantic feelings.
“Jay,” he says one morning, beaming. “I made you a playlist.”
Jay blinks. “What?”
Jake shoves his phone in Jay’s face. On the screen, the playlist title reads: Songs That Remind Me of You.
Jay freezes. His ears go red.
“I—I don’t want this,” he huffs, pushing the phone away.
“Yes, you do,” Jake singsongs.
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“I’M NOT—”
Jay glares, swipes the phone, and storms off—only to listen to the playlist on repeat for the next three hours.
Sunghoon, watching this unfold from across the room, looks deeply disturbed.
“What the hell is happening?” he mutters.
Sunghoon Starts Getting Suspicious
Jake and Jay acting like a couple? Weird.
You always being around? Even weirder.
The first few times, Sunghoon brushes it off as coincidence.
But then he starts noticing things.
Like how every time he turns around, you seem to be lurking nearby.
Or how you always look slightly panicked whenever he makes eye contact with you.
Or how, just yesterday, you were definitely staring at his arms when he rolled up his sleeves.
“…Do I know you?” he asks one afternoon, narrowing his eyes at you.
You freeze mid-hover. “W-what?”
“You. You’re always around.” He crosses his arms. “Are you following me or something?”
You panic. Hard.
“No!” you blurt out. “Absolutely not. I’m just—uh—admiring the architecture!”
Sunghoon looks up.
There is nothing special about the building.
“…Right.”
You internally scream.
Your Attempts to Act Normal (That Fail Miserably)
After that awkward encounter, you decide you need to calm down.
Sunghoon is just a mission. You are not actually in love with him. You just need to focus.
And so, you make a plan:
1. Avoid getting flustered.
2. Stop swooning like an idiot.
3. Act like a normal, non-crushing Cupid.
Easy, right?
Wrong.
Because that same evening, Sunghoon sits down at a café, flips open a book, and absently runs a hand through his hair—
And you promptly walk into a tree.
Not even float into it.
Just. Full-on. Smack. Into. A. Tree.
Sunghoon looks up at the sound of impact.
You, clinging to the tree, barely manage to whisper:
“I’m fine.”
Up in HQ, Ni-ki falls off his chair.
Ni-ki: This is the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
Jungwon: I give up.
Heeseung: Y/N, if you die from embarrassment, can I take over your mission?
You groan, wishing you could sink into the ground.
Sunghoon’s Suspicion Levels: Increasing
By the end of the day, Sunghoon is fully convinced something weird is going on.
Not just because of Jake and Jay, but because of you.
The girl who keeps showing up.
The girl who always looks flustered.
The girl who walked into a literal tree trying to avoid eye contact.
Who are you?
And why do you look like you’re hiding something?
Sunghoon doesn’t believe in love.
But he does believe in mysteries.
And right now?
You are the biggest mystery of all.
At this point, you have accepted the harsh truth:
Park Sunghoon is immune to romance.
Like, actually, scientifically, impossibly immune.
Jake and Jay? They’re currently starring in their own accidental love story, complete with playlists, bickering disguised as flirting, and moments where they gaze at each other a little too long.
Sunghoon?
Still out here giving full-blown TED Talks about how love is a scam.
And you?
You are losing your mind.
Aphrodite is not pleased.
Her latest very aggressive message flashes across your Cupid communication screen:
Aphrodite: Y/N, do I need to remind you that FAILURE = DEMOTION?
Jungwon: I’d like to remind her just for fun.
Heeseung: Don’t stress her out more, dude.
Ni-ki: No, stress her out. This is hilarious.
Your job is on the line, your mission is falling apart, and you might still have a tiny inconvenient crush on the guy you’re supposed to be matchmaking.
So, naturally, you decide to do the only logical thing:
Force some romance into Sunghoon’s life.
Attempt #1: The Love Letter Approach
You figure this is a classic. Who doesn’t love a good anonymous love letter?
So, late at night, you slip a handwritten note into Sunghoon’s locker at the skating rink:
“Your eyes remind me of winter—cold, sharp, and impossible to ignore.”
Very poetic. Very swoon-worthy. You nailed it.
Except…
The next morning, Sunghoon pulls the note out, reads it, and immediately frowns.
Jay leans over. “What’s that?”
Sunghoon flips the paper around. “Spam.”
Jake blinks. “Spam?”
“Yeah. Probably some dumb prank.” Sunghoon crumples it up and tosses it into his bag. “People are weird.”
You, hiding behind a vending machine: “I HATE IT HERE.”
Up in HQ, Ni-ki is wiping tears from his eyes.
Jungwon: Y/N, this is painful to watch.
Heeseung: I mean… in his defense, it does sound kinda dramatic.
Attempt #2: The Cute Coffee Shop Encounter
Fine. Love letters were a flop, but this? This is foolproof.
You set everything up perfectly. A cozy little café, soft background music, a warm and inviting atmosphere—peak romance vibes.
You even nudge fate a little so that Sunghoon and a sweet girl accidentally sit at the same table.
This is it. This is your moment.
Sunghoon takes a deep breath. Looks at the menu.
And orders a black coffee.
No pastries. No small talk. No heartwarming moment with the girl fate literally pushed into his lap.
He drinks his coffee. Stands up. Leaves.
Up in HQ, Jungwon is silently crying into his hands.
Attempt #3: The Classic “Accidentally Fall into His Arms” Trick
This is it.
Your last resort.
The golden move of every romcom protagonist in history.
The plan? Simple.
You will “accidentally” trip in front of Sunghoon. He will catch you. You will lock eyes. His heart will stutter with newfound emotion.
Boom. Romance unlocked.
Except…
The second you step forward to execute the plan—
Your foot catches on absolutely nothing, and instead of a graceful, slow-motion fall…
You FULLY EAT THE SIDEWALK.
Like. Face-first. Absolute destruction.
Sunghoon pauses mid-step, staring down at you in pure amusement.
“…Are you okay?” he asks, genuinely curious.
You, still face down on the pavement: “I’m fine.”
Sunghoon shrugs. “You fall a lot.”
You stay lying on the ground, contemplating every life choice that led you here.
At this point, you’re not sure what’s worse—the fact that Sunghoon is still immune to romance…
Or the fact that you’re falling harder than ever (literally and figuratively).
This is a bad idea.
A horrendous, catastrophic, should-be-illegal kind of idea.
Yet, here you are, sitting in Cupid HQ, staring at Ni-ki like he’s lost his mind.
“Fake date him.”
You blink. “I’m sorry, what?”
Ni-ki leans forward, grinning like a man who thrives on chaos. “Think about it! Sunghoon doesn’t believe in love, right? What better way to prove it’s real than by making him experience it firsthand?”
Heeseung, the traitor, nods. “Honestly… kinda genius.”
Jungwon?
Jungwon looks like he aged ten years in the past two minutes.
“I hate this. I hate all of this,” he groans, rubbing his temples. “Do you people even hear yourselves? Fake dating never ends well!”
Ni-ki shrugs. “That’s what makes it fun.”
Jungwon mutters something about quitting his job and moving to a stress-free dimension, but you’re too busy spiraling.
Because this plan?
It’s INSANE.
And yet…
For some stupid reason, you go through with it.
Step One: Trick Sunghoon into Fake Dating You
Unfortunately, Sunghoon is not an easy person to fool.
It takes a full week of strategic planning, some questionable emotional manipulation (“Don’t you wanna prove love is fake once and for all?”), and a little bit of divine intervention (thank you, fate), but somehow—somehow—you convince him.
“Well, fine,” Sunghoon says after an obnoxiously long silence. “But this is strictly business.”
Oh.
Oh, no.
Step Two: Survive Sunghoon’s ‘Dating Contract’
Because Sunghoon?
Yeah, he takes this whole thing like an actual corporate deal.
He hands you a list of rules.
1. No actual flirting. (Not a problem. You’re totally normal around him. Totally.)
2. No unnecessary touching. (Does this mean ‘no holding onto his arm when he looks stupidly good in a leather jacket’? Asking for a friend.)
3. No kissing. (Okay, no one even brought that up, but now you can’t stop thinking about it??)
“Got it?” Sunghoon asks, raising a brow.
You nod. “Yup. Totally fine. Easy.”
Spoiler alert: It is not fine.
Step Three: Try Not to Fall Apart (Fail Miserably)
Because here’s the problem.
Sunghoon?
He’s way too good at the boyfriend act.
Like, way too good.
He casually puts his arm around your chair at restaurants. Calls you by stupidly attractive pet names as a joke. Winks.
WINKS.
And you?
You are suffering.
Physically, emotionally, spiritually suffering.
Meanwhile, Jake & Jay Are Thriving
Jake and Jay—are having the time of their lives.
They find your total breakdown hilarious.
“So, uh…” Jake smirks over his iced Americano. “On a scale of one to I’m screwed, how bad is it?”
You glare. “I am not screwed.”
Jay, scrolling through his phone, doesn’t even look up. “You’re so screwed.”
Jake grins. “We should bet on how long it takes before you break.”
“Oh, I’m in,” Jay agrees, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Two weeks, max.”
Jake hums. “Nah, I give them ten days.”
You groan, slamming your head onto the table.
Sunghoon, sipping his black coffee, completely oblivious.
You are officially doomed.
Something is wrong.
Very, very wrong.
And for once, it’s not your fault.
Because Sunghoon?
Yeah, he’s acting different.
At first, you try to ignore it. Maybe you’re just imagining things. Maybe it’s just the fake dating getting to your head.
But then—
Exhibit A: Sunghoon starts remembering your coffee order.
You don’t even think he listens when you talk about it, but one day, you’re yawning at a café, brain completely fried, and suddenly—
“Here,” Sunghoon says, shoving a cup into your hands.
You blink down at it.
It’s your exact order. Right down to the little extra shot of vanilla syrup you never actually say out loud but always get.
You stare at him. “You… got me coffee?”
Sunghoon shrugs, eyes on his own drink. “You always take forever to decide. Figured I’d save us time.”
Oh.
Oh, no.
Exhibit B: He starts guiding you through crowds.
Which, okay, is normal… except it’s not.
Because before, Sunghoon would just walk ahead and let you struggle. But now?
Now, every time you’re out together, he instinctively grabs your wrist and tugs you along, effortlessly weaving through people.
The worst part?
It’s casual. Like he doesn’t even think about it. Like it’s just natural for him now.
Like—WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Exhibit C: He starts looking at you for just a little too long.
Like when you’re laughing at something Jake said. Or when you’re rambling about your favorite snacks. Or when you’re just existing, and suddenly you feel his gaze linger on you.
And the way he looks—
It’s different.
It’s soft. Curious. Like he’s trying to figure something out.
And you?
You are losing it.
Cupid HQ is, of course, fully invested.
Ni-ki: IS THIS IT?? IS HE FALLING???
Heeseung: I think she’s the one falling.
Jungwon: I don’t even care anymore. Just tell me when they crash and burn.
And honestly?
They don’t have to wait long.
Because then—
Then disaster strikes.
The Moment Everything Goes Horribly Wrong
It’s late. You’re at Sunghoon’s place, casually not panicking over your very real feelings, when—
“Hey, what’s this?”
You freeze.
Sunghoon is standing near his couch, holding something. Something very, very bad.
Your Cupid equipment.
The bow. The arrows. The mission papers.
Everything.
Your blood runs cold.
Sunghoon frowns, turning over one of the documents. “Mission… ‘Make Park Sunghoon Fall in Love by Valentine’s Day’?”
Your heart stops.
Panic explodes in your chest.
“Sunghoon—”
His eyes flick to you, realization slowly sinking in.
Then, finally—
“You…” His voice is eerily quiet. “This was all fake?”
You swear you hear your soul leave your body.
Sunghoon steps back. His jaw clenches. His hands tighten around the paper like he’s physically holding himself together.
And you—
You realize, too late, that this isn’t just fake dating anymore.
This isn’t just some Cupid assignment gone wrong.
This is real.
He’s hurt.
Sunghoon scoffs, shaking his head. “So what was the plan, huh?” He waves the papers in the air. “Make me fall in love and then what? Laugh about it later?”
You feel sick. “No, it wasn’t—”
“Or was I just some stupid experiment to prove love is real?”
“No!” Your voice cracks. Your hands shake. “I—”
You don’t know what to say.
Because no matter what, the truth is awful.
Sunghoon was right about love. It is fake—at least, it was for you at first. And now?
Now you don’t even know what’s real anymore.
Sunghoon exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair.
Then, without another word—
He walks out.
You are officially heartbroken.
It’s Valentine’s Day.
The final day.
And Sunghoon still won’t talk to you.
Which, honestly? Fair.
But for the first time since this mission began, you don’t care about Cupid HQ, your job, or the threat of demotion.
You just want to fix things.
So, like the true disaster Cupid you are, you decide to break every rule in existence.
Rule #1: Humans Aren’t Supposed to See Cupids
You ignore it.
You push past the barrier between realms, your wings shimmering into existence as you land in front of Sunghoon’s apartment.
Then, without thinking, you knock.
The door swings open.
And there he is.
Park Sunghoon.
Looking unimpressed and very much still mad at you.
“…You again.”
You nod, wings twitching nervously. “Me again.”
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “How did you even—?”
“I’m a Cupid,” you blurt. “We have our ways.”
Sunghoon sighs. “Of course.”
And then, before he can close the door on your face—
You start explaining.
The Truth, Unfiltered
Everything.
The mission. The arrows. The way you accidentally destroyed Jake and Jay’s lives. The way you were supposed to make Sunghoon fall in love, but ended up falling for him instead.
You spill it all.
Sunghoon just listens. Arms crossed. Expression unreadable.
You swallow, heart pounding.
“And that’s it,” you finish quietly. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. But I did.”
More silence.
And then—
Sunghoon sighs. Runs a hand through his hair.
“I knew something was off,” he mutters. “Because there’s no way I actually fell for you that easily.”
You freeze.
You blink.
“…Wait. You—”
Before you can finish, Sunghoon leans in and kisses you.
Your brain malfunctions.
Because Sunghoon is kissing you.
Because this is real.
Because he actually fell for you, despite all the disasters.
When he pulls away, he smirks. “I hope you know this means your mission failed.”
You blink, still dazed. “What?”
“You were supposed to make me fall in love,” he teases. “But I did that on my own.”
Your heart combusts.
And then—
Sunghoon pulls you in again.
Then, somewhere in the distance, someone yells, “WHAT THE ACTUAL—”
You barely have time to process the fact that your comms are still on before a burst of light explodes in the room. A portal rips open, and three very panicked Cupids—Ni-ki, Heeseung, and Jungwon—come flying through.
“You—” Ni-ki chokes, pointing at you. “You idiot!”
Heeseung is hyperventilating. “You told him? You broke the rules? Do you want to get turned into a pigeon?!”
Jungwon, ever the responsible one, just groans and rubs his temples. “We are so getting fired for this.”
Sunghoon blinks at them. Then at you. “Is this normal for you?”
You sigh. “Unfortunately, yes.”
And just like that, Sunghoon—stoic, unshakable Sunghoon—bursts into laughter.
Meanwhile, Somewhere in the Chaos…
“Wait.”
Jake suddenly sits up straight at the café, blinking rapidly.
Jay, sitting across from him, narrows his eyes. “What?”
Jake shakes his head like a confused puppy. “I—I think I just woke up.”
Jay’s stomach drops. “…Oh no.”
Jake’s eyes widen. He stares at Jay. At the romantic playlist. At the love letters.
And then—
Jay gasps. His own brain clears.
They look at each other.
A beat of silence.
Then—
“…Dude,” Jake whispers.
“…Don’t,” Jay warns.
“…Did we just—”
“DO NOT SAY IT.”
...
Final Score?
Mission: Successful.
Your dignity? Still questionable.
Jake and Jay? …In emotional recovery.
Cupid chaos? Forever.
Likes and Reblogs are much appreciated!!
More Posts from Rikidaze and Others
can i PLEASE PLEASE be added to the taglist? 🎀
WE MET ON HINGE!┆IT’S ON FACEBOOK
PREVIOUS ┆ MASTERLIST ┆ NEXT
MIKAELA’S! a cheeky chapter before things start getting actually juicy
SYNOPSIS! university golden boy sim jaeyun has a secret; it may seem as though he’s overtly focused on his studies, but he’s just using it as an excuse as to why he isn’t in a relationship. it’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just…can’t. in order to help jaeyun, his friends sign him up for hinge — an online dating app. pros? the ladies dig his profile. cons? jaeyun can’t seem to hold a conversation with the one girl he likes.
TAGLIST 1! @vocaloshin @ghostiiess @rairaiblog @dilrmma @jlheon @thing89 @3nh4sgurl @nokatzz @dojaejunging @coqhee @dammit-jjk @ilovejungwonandhaechan @jwsdoll @enhaslxt @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @dreamiestay @boyfhees @ounwoz @junislqve @jakeyverse @wonboni @lovebuglissas @mumeimei @sseastar-main @jaeyunluvbot @pupbistro @yoonzns @lilifiedeans @ohsehunskz @manooffline @beomsitez @ribbioniki @laurradoesloveu @naviiy @rikizm @soobs-things @unhakki @fertilizedtoesw @i03jae @heerinnie @mirustardiary @onlyseung @realrintaro @seongclb @heeheesang @sumzysworld @wonieleles @naurwayyyyy @jiyeons-closet @chanhee-hee @driedflowwr @thenastone @yoonights (OPEN)
𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 (𝟏/𝟐)
the list of the smaus i've read and liked so far!
completed ✔️ - discontinued/on hold ❌ personal favourites 💎 - ongoing 🟩 - smut/nsfw 🔞
note: any smau that hasn’t been updated in over a year will be considered discontinued.
en- sunghoon and maknae line smau recs click HERE!
txt smau recs click HERE!
sorry for the tags!
links are under the cut!
hyung line/multiple
𓆩♡𓆪 « confident » ✔️ 💎💎💎 🔞 by @bambisgirl
SYNOPSIS. after graduating high-school and having a major glow-up over summer, you became more confident in yourself and got the title of the most popular girl at decelis university in your first week of freshman year. you instantly dethroned all of the sophomore girls, on top of being so pretty, kind, smart and sexy… girl you have it all. yet you’re still the same kind, naïve and funny y/n that can’t refuse anyone coming her way. after all, you know what they say… confidence makes a girl sexy but kindness is key!
𓆩♡𓆪 « no nut november » ✔️ 🔞 by @jayflrt
SUMMARY ▸ four men suppressing their carnal instincts for thirty days doesn’t sound plausible, but it’s no nut november, so victory is crucial. yet, there’s only one obstacle keeping lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and park sunghoon from their prize: you. game on, boys.
𓆩♡𓆪 « to do: find a boyfriend » 🟩 by @seokgyuu
being single for three and a half years all of your friends are tired of your constant whining. while your girlfriends want you to just get laid, your boy-friends, on the other hand, just think you should pick one of them to date. ignoring them all, you instead decide to try out a dating app to find your match.
𓆩♡𓆪 « r u online? » ❌ (on hold) 💎 by @hoonvrs
SYNOPSIS seems like there’s a small problem between the four best friends when they each find themselves crushing on the same girl. now it’s left up to you to decide who’s your endgame.
𓆩♡𓆪 « zoom » ❌ 💎 🔞 by @enhas-bestie
SYNOPSIS: In which Y/N has a zoom meeting and it turns out that her TA! is incredibly hot. Things escalate. Chaos ensures.
lee heeseung
𓆩♡𓆪 « buy one, take me » ✔️ by @heeracha
synopsis: with his best friend asking him for help because said best friend was scared he wasn't "boyfriend material" enough, heeseung looks for flower shops for his best friend's girlfriend. thankfully, jake knows someone from the university who has an aunt that owns a flower shop, you. now, heeseung messages you and shyly, but shamelessly asks if he can get any promos or discounts to which you shamelessly answered him, "buy one, take me". heeseung doesn't pass on this, of course. after all, you are pretty damn cute.
𓆩♡𓆪 « you, me and the moon » ✔️ by @heeracha
synopsis: lee heeseung is a famous frat boy who is known to be mysterious since he would always stay at the corner to observe people passing by but he does not like the fact that his eyes would linger a little longer on you than he likes to admit because who the fuck is he kidding? you're way too good for him.
𓆩♡𓆪 « so sick ! » ✔️ 💎💎💎 by @yeonjunszn
summary: when your boyfriend of almost eight years cheats on you your senior year of university, you decide that you’re done with anything and everything to do with love. that is, until you meet a guy who sings love songs for a living.
𓆩♡𓆪 « hands on you » ✔️ 💎 💎 by @thatfeelinwhenyou
IN WHICH; I-LAND 2 happened and you debuted first place as the leader of LUMIÈRE. Having been told that your group is involved in a lore crossover with ENHYPEN, you navigate work, friendship, and love while trying to make it in an industry filled with animosity and condemnation. When life throws you lemons, you gotta make lemonades chuck it right back!
𓆩♡𓆪 « the revenge pact » ✔️ by @boyfhee
synopsis: lee heeseung is the handsome yet good for nothing mysterious boy living a floor below you, who dropped out of college and is living quite a lavish life. when you get fired from your job, ending up struggling to make your ends meet and failing to pay the rent, heeseung offers you rather an eccentric proposal : pay the rent or be his girlfriend.
𓆩♡𓆪 « sugar daddy » ✔️ 💎 by @jayflrt
SUMMARY ▸ in which heeseung accidentally becomes your sugar daddy, but funding a sugar baby is hard when you’re a broke college student.
𓆩♡𓆪 « a stoner's guide to starbucks » ✔️ 💎 by @jayflrt
SUMMARY ▸ in which you work at the starbucks where heeseung is a regular at (and considered a public enemy). also he only goes when he’s stoned off his ass.
𓆩♡𓆪 « poison » ✔️ 🔞 by @onlyjaeyun
synopsis: new city, new people, a new life. after finally getting the chance to live your dreams, you're ready to close old chapters, only for a certain someone who's always been off limits to open again...
𓆩♡𓆪 « verboten » ✔️ 🔞 by @heesbaby
SYNOPSIS; a bad stroke of luck saw lee heeseung, your dads coworker, moving into your small apartment until he found his feet again. emotionally unavailable and a workaholic, you were going to try your absolute hardest to make him loosen up. even if it meant breaking a few of the house rules he'd set out.
𓆩♡𓆪 « anonymous » ✔️ 🔞 by @heesbaby
synopsis: heeseung had been your biggest supporter for months under the pseudonym ethan, sending you money in return for content and interactions. he stuck around, spending half his paycheck just for your attention, until the delusions of your work convinced him you were his.
𓆩♡𓆪 « a little dramatic » 🟩 by @heeliopheelia
yn: knock knock
heeseung: who's there?
yn: your annoying best friend
heeseung: your annoying best friend who?
yn: your annoying best friend who has to do a kissing scene in the school play but she's never been kissed before and needs you to teach her how to do it so that she doesn't make a fool out of herself in front of her crush
...in other words heeseung's down bad, yn is an idiot in denial and riki gives everyone a headache.
𓆩♡𓆪« trainees » 🟩 💎 by @hoonvrs
SYNOPSIS heeseung wasn’t known as ‘the ace’ for nothing, constantly ranking number one after every monthly evaluation. then suddenly a new name takentakes over first place — baek ‘Rin’, and heeseung doesn’t take lightly to competition.
𓆩♡𓆪 « fancam » ❌ 💎💎 by @bambisgirl
SYNOPSIS. you’re a rookie camerawoman for kpop music shows and you’re designed to film lee heeseung’s focused fancams for this enhypen comeback. you know he’s just an idol but… you spent $500 on a 4k mirrorless full frame 12.1 mp camera just to catch a better glimpse of him.
𓆩♡𓆪 « reality check » ❌ 💎💎 by @yunverse
SYNOPSIS › Shocked by the sudden revelations, yn realizes that she has been pulled into another world belonging to her favourite reverse-harem novel as the female lead’s best friend. Content with her new life, she excitedly watches from the sidelines knowing every single encounter in the novel would be unravelling right in front of her. However, as time goes on, she slowly comes to the horrifying realization that the characters she seemingly idolized are not who they seem to be.
𓆩♡𓆪 « nevertheless, (ft. park jay) » ❌ by @postalenha
SYNOPSIS, after a horrendous break up, you met a guy at a bar. you two instantly clicked and got close the whole night, so close that the two of you almost kissed. but you ran off, and planned to never see him again. but what will happen if one day, a commotion started at your university; girls going crazy over the new handsome guy in fashion design. and there you see the man standing with a butterfly tattoo on his nape. the same man from the bar, looking for you.
park jongseong
𓆩♡𓆪 « adore you » ✔️ 💎💎 by @enzenwriting
Summary: Debuting as BE:LIFT Lab’s next solo artist, you reunite with your best friend Jungwon in Enhypen! With the groups’ quick fondness towards you, a certain member is sure he adores you extra with brotherly and senior care! But what if Jay finds that this doting is unlike his feeling towards his younger members because he definitely does not want to kiss Yang Jungwon like he does to you?!
𓆩♡𓆪 « reparations » ✔️ (short smau) 💎 by @jayflrt
SUMMARY ▸ in which jay is a dog.
𓆩♡𓆪 « deuce! » ✔️ 💎💎 by @jaeminvore
summary: one may ask, what would happen if you put a prodigy and a hard worker in one room? Absolute chaos. Jay and Y/N absolutely hated each other’s guts. Having been rivals from middle school until present, it’s a cruel twist of fate that they ended up going to the same university years later. To make matters even worse, both have been selected as captains for the men’s and women’s volleyball team respectively.
The coaches, the managers—hell, both teams knew they had to put an end to this ridiculous beef as they were slowly tarnishing the esteemed reputation of both teams, but the question is: how?
𓆩♡𓆪 « strictly business » ✔️ 🔞 💎 by @onlyjaeyun
synopsis: two people, two different stories, two different hearts, one capital city. a story in which a young secretary from a small town manages to bring a new breath of fresh air into the life of seoul's most famous and untouchable ceo.
𓆩♡𓆪 « more than this » ✔️ 🔞 by @heesbaby
in a society where hybrid's were still made to feel like nothing, you wanted to show jay how much more he was worth
𓆩♡𓆪 « are you blackmailing me? » ✔️ by @liliansun
Synopsis: Jay has his eyes on you, but you couldn’t care less. When he finally musters up the courage to speak to you, you ask him about his friend instead. In attempts to salvage his chance, he agrees to help you if you help him in return.
𓆩♡𓆪 « 21st century girl » ✔️ 💎 by @hoonvrs
SYNOPSIS where jay 'claims’ he has a girlfriend but none of his friends believe him because how are you a girl in the 21st century and don't have any social media, right? and if you and jay continue to let them think your relationship is fake for entertainment purposes, nobody has to know.
𓆩♡𓆪 « yours forever in 786 » 🟩 🔞 by @jayflrt
SUMMARY ▸ after being blackmailed into accepting an assignment, jay park, a young private detective, is thrown back into college. this time, though, he’s at an ivy league and tasked to follow you to uncover what dark secrets your old money family is hiding. in doing this, jay must fraternize with your inner circle by joining a secret society called the "order of kryptos.” what he doesn’t realize is that the deeper he gets into his mission, the more he starts to lose himself.
𓆩♡𓆪 « knock me down » ❌ 💎 by @nekkodiaries
SUMMARY: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a pubg duo match, he finds himself trash-talking his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.
𓆩♡𓆪 « friendzoned » ❌ by @szniki
summary! - nishimura yn has been pining for her best friend jay park since 7th grade, but she’s well aware that jay will continue to be oblivious and had accepted that she’s stuck in the friendzone, that is until she befriends a foreign exchange student from australia and jay can’t help but feel jealous over how quick yn and her new friend are bonding
𓆩♡𓆪 « can i call you tonight? » ❌ by @heesbaby
yn needs money. that’s the only reason she keeps agreeing to babysit jay’s son each week. nothing was ever going to blossom out of it, not with jay - a workaholic 6 years older than her. she keeps telling herself that every time his smile lingers a little too long on his lips, but each time she dials his number into her phone, he picks up before the second ring.
𓆩♡𓆪 « nevertheless, (ft. lee heeseung) » ❌ by @postalenha
SYNOPSIS, after a horrendous break up, you met a guy at a bar. you two instantly clicked and got close the whole night, so close that the two of you almost kissed. but you ran off, and planned to never see him again. but what will happen if one day, a commotion started at your university; girls going crazy over the new handsome guy in fashion design. and there you see the man standing with a butterfly tattoo on his nape. the same man from the bar, looking for you.
sim jaeyun
𓆩♡𓆪 « the world's a little blurry » ✔️ by @0x1lovebot
synopsis: having feelings for someone who’s in a relationship is already so hard to deal with. so imagine jake’s struggle when the taken girl that he’s had feelings for for years comes to him for help in physics. will he actually move on or will the lines start to blur between tutoring and romance?
𓆩♡𓆪 « doctors orders » ✔️ 💎💎 🔞 by @heesbaby
synopsis. jake was a little concerned by how often you were sat in his waiting room, but he couldn't deny how he searched his appointment list each morning hoping to see your name
𓆩♡𓆪 « after hours » ✔️ 💎 🔞 by @heesbaby
SYNOPSIS; jake sim, bassist of AFTERHOURS and all round terrible guy, so deep in his self absorbed world where everything went his way and everyone fell at his feet. he hardly noticed you moving in next door until he caught a glimpse of you in the hallway. completely uninterested in your neighbour, you did you best to ignore his advances. that was until you found yourself humming along to the songs he practiced every night.
𓆩♡𓆪 « hype boy » ✔️ 💎 💎 🔞 by @onlyjaeyun
synopsis: after years of hiding himself in the responsibility of raising his youngest brother, jaeyun finally finds himself falling head over heels for the sweet college student from next door...
𓆩♡𓆪 « maybe we could be together » ✔️ 💎💎 by @jaeminvore
summary: in which Y/N has already accepted the fact that she will never be anything more than a best friend to Jake. She’s fine. She’s kept it all together for so long. However, Sunoo is a force to reckon with and he will do anything in his power to get Jake and Y/N together—Oh, and not to mention Sunoo really hates Jake’s current girlfriend, much to the annoyance of Y/N.
𓆩♡𓆪 « nights with you » ✔️ by @nvertheless
sypnosis — jake sim couldn’t sleep at night. with the stress of school taking over him he wasn’t able to fall asleep anymore.. until he gets recommend a nightly lofi channel to fall asleep to and it works really well for him.. not knowing your the owner of that nightly lofi channel.. and u possibly have the biggest crush on jake..
𓆩♡𓆪 « cigarettes » ✔️ 💎 💎 by @hoonvrs
SYNOPSIS where university student jake develops a little crush on the girl he sees with a cigarette between her lips in the smoking area and decides he needs to impress her. how else would he do that except calling his smoker friend to teach him how to smoke ( spoiler: it doesn’t go so well. )
𓆩♡𓆪 « boomerang » ✔️ 💎 by @amakumos
SYNOPSIS: you and jake sim have always been academic rivals. it was always you against him for top of the class, and jake is sure that you two were made to hate each other. a couple years later when you debut and become an idol, you find yourself talking to him again - but it’s in a group chat with other aussie idols, and perhaps you realise that he isn’t that insufferable.
𓆩♡𓆪 « equation for disaster » ✔️ 💎 by @amakumos
SYNOPSIS — much to you and your boyfriend jake’s delight, there’s going to be a math championship for idols now. with both of you hellbent on winning, you two decide to be rivals again for just a little while. may the best star-crossed hater win. (the sequel to boomerang.)
𓆩♡𓆪 « collie duty » ✔️ by @filmbyjy
SYNOPSIS > being the new CEO to the ‘Sim Corp’ was hard and stressful. jake didn’t have much time to spend with layla and so he decides to get a dogsitter, you. though, you were originally already his secretary. how will dog sitting bring you two closer?
𓆩♡𓆪 « one note » 🟩 by @filmbyjy
SYNOPSIS > When you turned 18, you heard your best friend’s favourite song. Turns out, it was just one of the various signs to finding your soulmate. However, you couldn’t bring this up to jake. Not when he was in a happy relationship with your other best friend! Would you choose heartbreak or sacrifice your happiness for the sake of keeping the friendship
𓆩♡𓆪 « consequences of a one night stand » ✔️ 💎 🔞 by @luvyeni
( synopsis ). in which after a drunken hookup , y/n y/ln and are jake left with some heavy consequences and now they have to come to terms with it.
𓆩♡𓆪 « all about you » ✔️ by @heeliopheelia
synopsis: finding it harder and harder to keep your feelings hidden from one of your best friends, with each day you become more restless. with the confession constantly resting on the tip of your tongue, you wonder how much longer you’ll be able to keep your sweet secret to yourself. little did you know, the exact same question has been haunting jake’s mind, keeping him just as unsettled as you.
𓆩♡𓆪 « cat & dog » ❌ by @yeongwonie
SYNOPSIS a year after his notorious 10 months ending fairy, jake is confident that the occasional jokes and furry allegations have subsided. he's wrong, unfortunately, and no amount of teasing from his members could've prepared him for his ult—you—seeing the video.
𓆩♡𓆪 « lucid dream » ❌ 💎 by @yyunari
SYNOPSIS . many might recognize y/n as one of the most beloved and rounded 4th generation idols. being in aespa brought her a lot of popularity and made her really well known, especially for her talents and bubbly personality. when y/n becomes a music bank mc along with enhypen’s sunghoon, what will happen when she meets her old high school crush from back in australia?
𓆩♡𓆪 « cupid's cure » ❌ by @amakumos
synopsis. as the new admins of cupid’s corner, gunwook and eunchae make it their mission to get back some of the couples that jungwon’s girlfriend had unintentionally broken up. one of the couples on their list are you and jake sim, also known as the self proclaimed “rizzler of oz”. you haven’t talked to jake since the breakup — because one, you don’t think you’re quite over him yet, and two, you have zero reason to speak to him! that is, until eunchae works her “magic” — she decides to post a confession (apparently coming from jake himself), saying that he still loves you.
𓆩♡𓆪 « pinky promise » ❌ by @sunboki
THE LAST SUMMER you spent with Jake Sim was the beginning of a disaster and it all began with a pinky promise. You left Australia a few days before high school to become a trainee under BigHit Entertainment, sending you far away from home, from Jake. Well, you didn’t know it back then, but Jake had also come to Korea as a trainee a year later, and fate worked its magic when you’re both selected as KBS MC’s together. The pinky promise in question? A promise to be together till the end.
note: sunghoon and maknae line smaus will be on another post! tumblr being a bitch and doesn't let me add more links :(
GIMME THAT JUNGWON FIC AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!! 🧎♀️➡️
Guys final votes which one!!!
Heeseung: 12 am sex is the best but sleeping with your enemy is an another level satisfaction when her family is at home and you have breaked into her room.
Jungwon: 1 am sex is the best but sleeping with your best friend sister can be risky when her brother is sleeping in the next room.
─── ⋆ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET
back to masterlist
playlist
where...
Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.
pairing ── jake x female reader
genre ── strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic
wc ── 16.6k
featuring ── jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids
warnings ── mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot
DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction
Beep beep beep!
Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you don’t own black comforters?
Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didn’t own any of this…fuck.
Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.
You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldn’t believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem.
“Oh, you’re up” oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you.
Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. “Uh, Hi Jake.” you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked “Could you um, put on a shirt?”
“Yeah, you’re kinda wearing it though…”
You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress.
“Right.” you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change
“Uh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?” He was only met with the door shut in his face.
“Yeah uh” you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, “No, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.”
“Oh yeah totally,” Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. “Here.” you said opening the door to hand him his shirt.
“Ah, thanks” Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask “Are the other guys still here?”
“Nah, they all left to practise earlier” he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly “So…” he attempted to start before being cut off by you.
“Yeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Can’t really remember most of it, I’m sure it was good,” briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, “but maybe let’s not bring this up like, ever.” Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jake’s lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.
“Anyways! I really need to get going now so I’ll see you around ‘kay?” You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night.
And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman he’d ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun.
Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang.
And well Jake on the other hand,
Me
I think I just slept with Jake Sim
Kazuha Nakamura
EXCUSE ME
Me
Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT
Kazuha Nakamura
SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.
Me
STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW i’m gonna kms
Kazuha Nakamura
Okay but was it good at least?
You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean it’s not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einstein’s law of relativity.
Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises.
Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.
“Jake, get up. I’m starting to actually feel bad for you” Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.
“Dude you don’t get it, she RAN.” Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bed
“Okay, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldn’t have been that horri-”
“The one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!”
From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it.
“Okay, so it was YN? So what man, I think you’re overthinking this” Sunghoon chimed in from the back
“Hey I mean, I think you’re judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!” Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room
Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff “Okay well, since you’re the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by ‘opportunity’”
“Okay listen,” Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jake’s bed “Here's what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna go up to her, start small talk, then you’re gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-”
“Are you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on me” Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it)
“Hey let me finish!” He replied tucking the pillow under his arms “Yeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim she’d reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. What’s not to love?”
“Maybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, ” Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung “, and why would I listen to you exactly?”
“Because a) as you said I am the expert,” Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake “and b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!”
Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldn’t he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Well…wrong. I mean, you couldn’t be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person he’d ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot?
“Fine.” Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.
Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.
“Oh Jake, I didn’t know you took chem?”
“Yeah, I didn’t, well last year I didn’t…but I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But it’s,” Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took “Yeah it’s ass.”
You let out a slight chuckle, well he’s funny at least. “Yeah, that test was not my best work…”
Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. “Hey wanna go grab some coffee?” His words laced with nervousness “I’ll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldn’t I… Anyway, my treat.”
And that’s how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence.
Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. “So..” he awkwardly started “How was your weekend?”
“I think you know how my weekend went Jake” you said in between sips
“Oh, right.” Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. “Uh about that-”
He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up”
“Yeah but-”
“Listen, Jake” you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you “You’re like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really can’t do relationships right now, like I’ve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitals…”
You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing “Anyway, you’re seriously great. I’m just not looking for anything serious right now an-”
“Me neither” Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink
“Yeah, an- wait what?”
“I mean, I’m not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had fun” Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw “And if you haven’t noticed I kinda don’t have a lot going on with me right now”
You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning “Are you trying to use me for sex.”
“What no!” Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn “Um, no I’m not. Seriously. I’m not a douche, I’m just…I don’t know how to really- talk. To women at least… I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?”
This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy.
“You can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didn’t want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon know…I seriously didn’t mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it so…” Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen.
“Ummm” you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobody’s ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. “Don’t you think it’s a little…weird? I mean we’ve known each other since high school, like granted we didn’t talk but- yeah you know? And like I’ve just, never done this before. Like ever.”
“I mean I haven’t either,” Jake paused to put down his drink “Worth a shot though right?”
Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasn’t like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newton’s cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldn’t deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernails…he definitely did grow up well.
“I’ll-” you said with a slight sigh “I’ll get back to you on it Jake.”
“You’ll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?” Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.
Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didn’t think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.
“Hey! I was trying to be polite for your information,” you defended whilst burying your head into your pillows
“I mean why not?” Zuha asked with indifference
“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and he’s Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.” you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuha’s bag of chips
“Well to me those all sound like pros.” she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, “Plus what’s the big deal, you hooked up once why can’t you do it again” she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness.
God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things.
“Yeah, I guess…” your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. “Okay but how do I even get back to him on it?”
“Yeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? We’re not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.”
“Yeah okay, am I just supposed to send ‘Hi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!’” you replied sarcastically
“Okay, you know that’s not what I mean. If you’ve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like you’re opposed to it so…” Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers.
Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare.
Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.
“KAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW” you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen.
Jake Sim (Hookup)
Cool! So this Friday?
What the hell did you just get yourself into
Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Sim’s bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didn’t think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didn’t get the hint)
Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves.
“Do you-” you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.
“Oh, are you hungry?” Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left.
“Um, kinda..” you responded, god wasn’t he supposed to be the awkward one.
“Do you want some ramen?” He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words “I mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-”
“Ramen sounds great!” you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door.
To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself.
“So um can I ask,” you paused to wipe your mouth “Am I seriously the only other girl you’ve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?”
Jake’s arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. “Uh, I mean in college, yeah. I haven’t had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason you’re here”
“Well I guess that’s not too surprising”
“Oh yeah?” Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair “What’s that supposed to mean hm?”
“I’m just saying I’m not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics can’t pull.” you teased back with a sly smile
“Uh-huh,” he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate “Well I’ll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high school”
“Yeah and I don’t do ballet.” you came back snarkily
“Hey! I can even list them for you if you don’t believe me.” Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie
“Yeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 people” Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.
Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasn’t as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, “Hey why don’t you talk to girls? I mean you’re pretty much a natural at this.”
“Oh.” Jake replied a bit flattered, “Well, I don’t think I’m a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.” hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, “I guess with you it’s sorta, comfortable?”
Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that.
“So you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.” you said trying to divert the topic
“Well not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..” Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop
“Why?”
“Well as you said, I can’t really pull” you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls of chapaguri
“Hey, don’t laugh with your mouth full.” Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldn’t deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you would’ve folded instantly.
He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.
Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:
Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways.
Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him:
He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Layla
He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at least
Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.
He wasn’t called a star soccer player for nothing, you’d initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.
It wasn’t like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his ‘best friend’ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didn’t have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you.
But it’s not like you cared about Jake like that, you were just…observant.
Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didn’t go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, it’s not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.
“Hey.” Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athlete’s dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.
Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. “Oh, hi Jake. Uh- don’t you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eat” You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded “not like. I’m tracking your schedule or anything like that. don’t get the wrong idea”
Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) “Yeah, uh practice got cancelled. So I’m here earlier than expected.”
“Cool cool” you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. “So uh, you going to Soobin’s party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including me” he said the last part in almost a whisper.
“Oh uh, I haven’t really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so I’ll probably go with” You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. “Uh I think I should go study-” you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.
“But you haven’t even touched your food?” Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. “I’m not that hungry anyway.” you said slowly getting up to leave
“Wait, do you do this often? skip meals?” Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadn’t seen before.
“Oh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practice”
“Hold on” Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, “This man cannot take a hint” you muttered.
Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. “Uh here, it’s good for electrolytes” he said while handing you the bottle “Oh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugar”. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. “oh you didn’t really have to-”
“I wanted to.” Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) “Uh anyways, I’ve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, it’s not that good for you, you’re an athlete so..” he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. “Thanks, uh I’ll pay you back-”
“Don’t bother!” he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. “Uh, it’s on me! Don’t worry about it really.” slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance “Bye YN!”
Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small “Thank you”
Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.
Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Jake said before settling down next to you “Have you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?”
“Hm? Why do you ask?” you said before moving to lay between Jake’s legs, head resting upon his thigh.
“Ah you know, Just curious” He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?
“No actually, I wasn’t really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that I’m bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more fun” you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories.
“That’s interesting…” you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words.
“Why d’you sound so confused huh” Gently nudging his thigh you laughed.
“Nothing nothing! I just, you know, didn’t really expect that from you. I don’t know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didn’t really expect you to…”
“What, be a whore?” you butted in jokingly
Jake’s hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. “Kidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline so…yeah”
“Was your mom never really there or…” Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?
Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. “Uh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always working” Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. “I mean I don’t hold it against her, it’s literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first place”
“But?” Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared?
“No I mean there isn’t really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonely…only child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for me” the last part coming out a bit strained, “I just was kinda on my own for a while I guess… that’s probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was younger”
“Oh, she was the one who signed you up?”
“Yeah, she was, actually!” voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, “When I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really fun”
“Was?” Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours.
“Oh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you know” you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. “It’s partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.”
“Well,” Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together “, I think you’re doing just fine. Trust me I’ve never seen a better dancer than you, like you’re seriously amazing”
You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didn’t think he’d notice that.
“You sure you’re not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,” you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours “, totally not bitchless behaviour”
“Hey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.” Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask “So what about you, no boyfriend?”
“Well, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easily” you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt “I dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, it’s stupid really I don’t know why I do it.” Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didn’t tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening.
“Um anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.” you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes.
“Oh uh, yeah sure…” Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)
He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out.
“Bye!” he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump.
“Oh, bye!” you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around to speed walk down the hallway.
For some reason even though you had already left he couldn’t get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck I’m an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.
“What do you think? Too much?” you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt.
“You look the same YN.” your roommate replied stoically “And what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?” she added between snickers.
“What no!” you rushed to respond “And might I remind you that the only reason he’s picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.”
“Heyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin won’t be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!” Kazuha whined in a pout “Promise, next time I get invited to a party you’re number 1 on my waitlist. I swear”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on that waitlist right now.” you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen.
Jake Sim (Hookup)
Hey I’m waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh
Jake Sim (Hookup)
don’t bring a jacket lmao
You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.
“Oh lover boy here already hm?” she teased in a playful tone. “Ew god don’t call him that.” you deadpanned before heading out the door.
Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobin’s apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and it’s not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You can’t say you weren’t thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason.
The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobin’s apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.
A couple of hours had passed and the ‘other friends’ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobin’s living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side.
“Hey YN, mind if I sit?” he didn’t really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.
“Oh, hey Heeseung” you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldn’t really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you.
“What’s up, are you bored? I assume you didn’t come here to scroll TikTok alone.” He joked with a quick chuckle.
“Yeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And he’s obviously very,” you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole ‘bad at talking to girls’ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace “Preoccupied.”
Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, “Don’t worry Jake’s normally just chatty like this when he’s got one of us around, he really really can’t talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he can’t shut up about you.”
Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment “What do you mean?”
“I mean, the guy can’t stop talking about you even when you’re gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything it’s kinda annoying. ‘Oh YN loves that drink’ ‘Oh can you buy one for YN too?’ ‘Hey, this is YN’s favourite song!’ ‘Hey don’t touch that, it's for YN’” Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.
“Really? You’re probably exaggerating, me and Jake aren’t even that close.” you commented
“Trust me YN, you don’t live with that guy. I feel like I’m even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-”
“What’cha guys talking about!” you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadn’t noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you.
You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink “Oh you know, just keeping myself entertained” you replied before whipping your head up “Since you were obviously, pretty busy.”
Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen “Hey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!” his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can.
Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong?
Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.
“Okay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?” Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle
“Oooh me me me!” Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.
Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake.
“Well pucker up loser” Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldn’t brush off how Jake’s eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground.
Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! It’s Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys aren’t even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting “Spin, spin, spin!” as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.
The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck.
You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-
Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?
Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.
A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didn’t he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?
Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadn’t said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didn’t say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. It’s not like he didn’t benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. It’s not like it was a piece of intimacy your “relationship” lacked, not like it was the one thing he’d been longing for. Yep, totally not.
You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long you’d been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.
“Your turn YN!” Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.
“Uh I think I’ll skip, I’ve had enough drinks for tonight” you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? “As a matter of fact,” you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, “I think I need to use the bathroom, I’ll sit out this round, you guys can continue though”
“Okay!” Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.
You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.
Great, so he couldn’t give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?
You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting “Kiss kiss kiss” Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest in… absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.
God what was Seunghan doing here, he didn’t even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was “You aren’t even a good fuck” safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.
“Hey YN” he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you weren’t really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldn’t smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.
“Hi” you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)
“So,” He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking “How's it going, what are you doing here?”
“I kinda go here.” you said in between sips “and shouldn’t I be asking you that, you don’t even go to Decelis.”
“Well someone’s hostile” he let out a chuckle, face still smug “Ah yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?”
“That's nice Seunghan” your face obviously painted that you didn’t really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.
“Is that it?” Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edge”
“What the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I don’t even know what you’re doing here because clearly last time I checked you didn’t go to Decelis. So yeah, I don’t really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.”
“Woah woah, calm down there” Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.
You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. “Sorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think we’ll get going!”
You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off “who are you again.”
Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasn’t going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.
“Jake her,” he hesitated for a second “boyfriend. But I don’t think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home now” He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.
“Woww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I don’t think he would be able to leave me alone otherwise” you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too?
It’s not like you weren't used to the silence, hell it’s what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, you’d been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you weren’t really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.
“Who was that guy?” he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. ”Seunghan,” you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back “, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesn’t really matter.”
Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. “Was he bothering you? I mean I couldn’t really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so like…yeah I don’t know”
You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN it’s jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess you’re casually fucking. You can’t be doing this.
“Uh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was nice” you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.
“Ah…” Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didn’t seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.
“Are you down to..” you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.
“You know, fuck.” you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasn’t the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.
Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. “YN you’re drunk,” he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, “I'd love to but, maybe next time?” he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.
fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.
“Uh, can you just…” you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, “stay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kinda…lonely?” The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. She’s drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.
He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. “Alright, uhm just scoot over a bit”
Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jake’s touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you weren’t just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.
“Sometimes I wish this was real” you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking
“Don’t know how hammered you got but you’re definitely not dreaming right now YN.” Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages.
“Not this, I mean us.”
“Oh.” Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you.
“You’re too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you weren’t my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again don’t think I’m ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like I’m ready, I don’t know, it's weird. Being with you feels so…natural? Like I’ve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dork” rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldn’t hear the intense racing of his heart.
“How much did you drink YN?” he stuttered out
“Oh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid right…” you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.
“You like me?” Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didn’t have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.
“Goodnight YN.” he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself.
As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you.
Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Unfortunately this wasn’t a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time you’ve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake.
Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jake’s bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk.
“YN, you’re up already?” Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist.
“Oh uh yeah!” you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch “Hey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.” You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small “Nope, not anything out of the ordinary”
Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small “Hey, what time is it, by the way?”
“Oh um,” you quickly grabbed your phone to check “9:30.”
Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting “Oh fuck, I’m late!” He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you “Uhm if you need Tylenol let me know I’ll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!”
Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him.
“He's so sweet” you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush.
You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim.
Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him.
Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didn’t sit right with you. Jake didn’t really want to push it and force his way into your life if you weren’t comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasn’t in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jake’s mind, he couldn’t take it anymore.
Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom.
“Hey YN.”
“Oh, Jake hi…”
“You ready for today’s presentation?” he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.
“Oh god no, I’m cooked.” you replied with a nervous laugh.
“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll do great, you always do.” Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things?
You flashed him a quick smile before whispering “Thank you.”
Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period?
“And u-uh, as I was saying…” you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class.
The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faraday’s law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat.
Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today?
Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell you’d embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess?
Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).
“YN, you okay?” his eyes graced with concern, oh so he’s still attentive as ever it seems. “Was it your presentation? I thought it was great-”
“I got my period.” you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didn’t have the guts to face him right now “and like, yeah it's a mess so…I kinda just want to get home and change.” you finished with a frustrated sigh.
“Ah I see” Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans.
Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could.
“I’ll come get it back later okay? Don’t worry about it” he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place.
“Oh, thank you Jake…” you mumbled
“Hey YN.” he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, “um, sorry it’s nothing actually- just uh, don’t be a stranger you know?” he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself.
“Oh,” you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with “alright…”
And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasn’t going to end well.
“YN you keep doing this!” your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music.
“How many times do I have to remind you?” she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “your legs aren’t straight and your feet aren’t pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. You’re my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.” she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror.
Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why weren’t you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldn’t do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didn’t know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didn’t even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldn’t you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?
Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open.
“YN?” Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, “what happened, what’s wrong?” he asked while rushing over to your side.
“Oh Jake, god please don’t look I’m a mess right now” quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his.
“YN, honestly I couldn’t care less about how you look right now. What’s wrong? Why are you crying hm?” His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, “It’s okay, you can tell me.”
Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. “Jake I can’t do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I don’t know why I can’t just be the person everyone wants me to be, I’m a failure.” you cried out between sobs.
“Hey hey don’t say that, look at me.” he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, “Okay so maybe you’re not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you aren’t perfect-”
“Not helping.” you deadpanned
“Yeah well, I wasn’t done. Point is you’re not that but, you're YN. You’re exactly who you need to be right now, and you’re doing your best. Maybe that isn’t perfect but hey nobody’s perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. It’s okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, we’re only human. If it means anything, in my eyes you’re doing everything right. You’re perfect, okay YN?”
This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasn’t complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state.
After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jake’s embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking “Uhm, why did you come here in the first place again?”
“Oh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said you’d be here, didn’t really expect to see you crying all alone though” he commented with a quick chuckle
“Oh shit yeah,” you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, “Never mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, let’s just get you back to your dorm alright?”
“But your hoodie-”
“And up we go!” he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room.
The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking “Are you sure you’re okay” every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping “Jake Sim. If you don’t stop, I will actually not be okay.”
“Okay okay! Just checking!” he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat.
Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.
“Yes?”
“Oh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?”
“Thanks Jake, but I’m not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.” you joked.
“I know I know, just reminding you. You’ve got me, ‘kay?” Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel.
“Alright, thanks Jake” You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly you’ve fallen for Jake Sim.
To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were:
The first time you’d two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing
The second time you’d hooked up; which technically wasn’t even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing.
You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon:
“You didn’t kiss me.”
Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. “What?”
“I mean, at Soobin’s party, you didn’t do it” your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair “I mean you kissed Karina, why not me?”
“I mean…I can kiss you now if you want?”
“Yeah but then you’d only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.” you grunted out in annoyance “But when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didn’t, but you could kiss Karina so easily”
“I thought you didn’t want me to kiss you?” Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative.
“When did I ever say that?” you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing?
“Yeah okay well, kissing her meant nothing” Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasn’t just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now
“Yeah well, we’ve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anything” For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.
“YN why does it matter.” he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended
“Technically I’m saying it doesn't.” you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesn’t work “What do you not want to kiss me or something?”
No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing he’d thought about for the past month. But Jake couldn’t admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.
The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.
“I’ll take that as a no.”, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated ‘walk of shame’ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasn’t going anywhere. “It's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, I’ve got practice so I think i’ll get going” you said absently while touching up your makeup
Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. “Wait, YN…” he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up
“Jake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And I’ve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so I’ve gotta get going.” You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didn’t have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.
“YN I’m sor-” he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. “Bye Jake.”
God, she couldn’t even look at me when leaving.
“Bye.” Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.
“fuck…” you both thought.
“YN come on you’ve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Let’s go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you don’t even accept it?!” Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly.
“Yeah I won’t, I’m not in the mood to go out tonight”
“You’re never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? That’s never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!” you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk.
“Ugh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isn’t it the same old people?” you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight.
“No actually it’s not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, don’t you think that’s the perfect way to help you get over this loser?”
“Hey, he isn’t a loser!”, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, “just like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybe…it would help?”
Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. “Okay, perfect. Here, wear this.” she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face.
Holding them up you weren’t even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. “Did you cut this shirt up or something?”
“No, I didn’t you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys won’t know what’s hit them. Trust me.” she said while absently applying lip gloss.
Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip.
This is good, you’re fine! You’re going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight.
Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldn’t even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If he’s here then…
You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you.
Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it.
“YN, can we talk?” Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck you’d never seen him this desperate, “please.”
You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.
“Okay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness
“Listen,” Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, “I’m sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldn’t have kissed Karina that night, it’s just we aren’t exclusive or anything so I figured-”
“Yeah we weren’t, but honestly Jake I couldn’t give less of a fuck” a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude?
“Yeah sure sounds like it”
“Yeah I don’t, I just think it’s messed up that you don’t kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriend”
“Please, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?”
“No and as I said I couldn’t give a fuck”
“Well, I do. You can’t just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothing” fuck so he did remember
“Okay well,” You stuttered out, anger simmering within you “I was drunk. I wasn’t in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.”
God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, “Yeah well we obviously haven’t been acting very ‘casual’ as of late.”
“Why does that even fucking matter Jake, I don’t know why you care so much!”
“Obviously because I fucking caught feelings!” Jake’s mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that.
Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldn’t even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.
“This is stupid.” you blurt out finally “I can’t handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldn’t even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.”
“I thought you liked me.” Jake muttered
“So what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I can’t even confess to you without running away from it. I’m not good for you Jake. I wouldn’t be able to make us work and-”
“Are you not even willing to try!?” Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldn’t bear seeing him cry.
“Not if I’ll just hurt you in the process!” you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own “I’m sorry Jake.” And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.
Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.
Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.
This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well it’s not like you didn’t hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldn’t get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, you’d become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon.
You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldn’t care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you.
“Oh Jay! Hey,” you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. “What are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-”
“Actually I’m here for you.” Jay cut in, “Could I come in?” his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.
“Oh, um” taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly “...yeah yeah sure, it’s sorta a mess though.” you admitted before moving aside to let him in.
“So, what’s up?” you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard
“Have you um, talked to Jake at all recently?”
And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. “No, actually.” “Ah yeah, I figured.” his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room “He’s been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-”
“If you’re just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.”
“Wait wait no I wasn’t! Just, okay- hear me out” he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of you
“I know you guys had that whole argument before. And I don’t blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN I’ll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.”
Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. “Ah…”
“Yeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think I’m a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.” he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted
“And I know I don’t know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I don’t think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. He’s still willing to try…” he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, “He’s playing in tonight’s game so, think about it?” he concluded with a slight shrug
Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didn’t truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.
“Thanks Jay, I’ll see.”
This was a bad idea.
You couldn’t believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didn’t really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night.
Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldn’t really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space.
You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again.
You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each.
The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity you’ve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post.
“And a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!” The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers.
After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.
Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. It’s fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd.
Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick “Wait” before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team.
Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained “Hey YN.”
“Hi Jake,” you started awkwardly, “Could we um, talk for a bit?”
“Yeah sure but-” he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, “maybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and I’m not really interested.”
“Oh uh,” your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, “yeah, sure. That sounds good.”
The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor.
Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”
“Oh right. Um about the other night, I’m really sorry I just…” all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause.
“YN it’s fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-”
“NO THAT’S NOT IT!” hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, “What I was going to say was-” you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.
“What I wanted to say was, well what I’ve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if I’m gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesn’t really make up for it, but, yeah. Anyways– I’m getting side tracked.” you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.
“I told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesn’t have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think I’m seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I just…have to get it out. I’m willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I don’t care if it’s 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. I’m willing to take that risk for you Jake.”
One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak.
“Please say something” you winced.
“Sorry I’m just- I just- well I’ve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?” Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, “You are asking me out… right?”
“Yes…I think so and I’ve truthfully never done this either.” you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring.
“Well YN,” his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, “I would love to go out with you.” he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime.
“Oh thank fuck.” you sighed out in relief. Jake couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, “Can I do this now?”
“Do what?”
“This.” and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you weren’t religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices.
Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth you’d seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement.
“Guess people can’t call you a loser now?”
“You know damn well I never was,” he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, “C’mere” he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter.
Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?
thoughts frm yuya 💭 hai everyone! omg this is finally out 😭 i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad 🙏 anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !
taglist ─── ⋆ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwus @junityy @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldn’t tag u TT)
no doubt ── s. jy
↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.
↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || angstttt, fluff, crack
↳ ✎ᝰ. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]
↳ contains ── angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this fic—basically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends.
Like, there was no other option.
Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfection—top of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet.
Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chair—life of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches.
Nothing alike.
So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:
"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!"
"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!"
But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17?
The universe was taking notes.
So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothers—the true puppeteers in this scenario.
All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy.
You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable.
You two—just like your moms—were inseparable.
By high school, everyone knew you were a package deal—where you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical.
"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags.
"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes.
"Did they ask for your social security number?"
"Y/N."
"Exactly. I'm just saying—if you end up on one of those exposé documentaries about fake talent shows, don't say I didn't warn you."
Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six.
So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at all—it was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.
What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world.
Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about you—his non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours).
And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new home—the endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member.
Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.
Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment.
"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza slice—one of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savory—"
"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in.
Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour.
Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash.
Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing.
Not a single bag is packed.
"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."
"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you.
From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."
"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."
"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."
"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction.
"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."
"Pickles enhance flavor too!"
"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."
"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his face—you can hear it loud and clear.
"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."
The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades.
"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word.
You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin.
After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppings—and yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsession—you decide it was time for a drink refill.
Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark.
"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly.
Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern.
"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.
"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."
He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."
Ah. Of course. Jenn.
You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreak—not just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-up…and even messier make-up.
"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."
Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of you—shoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation.
"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him.
"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him.
"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."
Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why I’m surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."
“Of course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."
For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further.
Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chest—a tangled knot of sympathy and…something else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jake—but you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong.
"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."
Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."
"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."
His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries.
"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter.
You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you.
"Y/N?"
You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation.
"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says it—soft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperate—makes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."
You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."
For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.
"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.”
You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him.
Jake's body is on autopilot at this point.
Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe.
And he loves this life—he really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just can’t seem to shake it.
When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it.
Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone.
Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels different—sharper, louder—and before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen.
A familiar battle wages in his mind, one he’s been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and he’s been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isn’t just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves.
It’s something else, something harder to name.
And for some other reason he can’t seem to explain, he thinks it’s you.
Jake doesn’t know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming.
Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself it’s nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. You’re back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense.
It’s logical. Nothing more.
That’s what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. It’s not about you specifically—it couldn’t be. It’s just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating.
Obviously. Nothing more.
He presses call.
Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home.
"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"
Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but...
He doesn't want to hang up.
Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.
"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."
"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words.
Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"
The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens.
"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."
"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"
"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows.
There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make everything feel...lighter. Like, I can’t explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like I’m not carrying all this stuff by myself.”
Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability.
“Because you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? That’s what friends are for."
Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying.
"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everything—the tour, the...break-up, just...you?"
Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."
"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"
Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for that—for the distraction.
But now, with you, it feels different.
Safer, easier. Natural.
“Honestly? I don’t know,” he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. “Some days it feels like I’m fine, like I’ve moved on, and other days...it’s like I’m stuck in this loop of ‘what ifs.’ Like, what if I did something different? Or..."
He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"
“Jake,” you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasn’t the right person for you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”
He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there.
"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helps—a lot."
“I’m glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”
Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chest—a knot he didn't even realize was there.
“You always know what to say, don’t you?”
“It’s a gift,” you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter.
"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."
You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists.
In both a comforting and terrifying way.
"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."
Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."
"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it.
A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call.
But he can't help himself.
"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"
"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."
You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"
"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep.
"Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Jake."
"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleep—you really should—but you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen.
"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."
You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."
"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."
"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job."
“Emotional support human,” Jake repeats, chuckling softly. “You’re right. I guess I really owe you, huh?”
“Oh, 100%,” you shoot back, a grin in your voice. “I want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.”
“Done. What size?”
"The oversized one."
Jake pauses. “Let me guess—so you can sleep in it?"
You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, “Hey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"
You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line.
“Cute. I’ll make sure to steal one for you.”
You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But lately—over the past month of phone calls—the way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold.
In both a comforting and terrifying way.
“So, how was your day?” you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts.
"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."
"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."
"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."
Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are light—I mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sake—but it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.
You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.
"You're so weird."
“But you like it,” he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like he’s testing the waters.
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly.
"Debatable."
“Liar.”
His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, “You wouldn’t still be on the phone with me if you didn’t like me at least a little.”
“Maybe I’m just bored,” you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if he’s serious or just messing with you.
You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."
“Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?” You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words.
“By being my usual charming self, duh,” he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. “And, you know, calling you every night so you don’t forget about me.”
Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"
“Never,” Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. “But just in case…I like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like I’m not a million miles away.”
His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady.
“You’re not a million miles away, Jake.”
“Feels like it,” he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. “I miss home. I miss...you."
Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing again—the erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real.
And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for.
Not yet.
"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice.
Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."
"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice.
"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."
He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that.
And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him.
But, regardless, you always give him the same reply:
"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"
"Don’t say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."
"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb."
"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Jake."
As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice.
It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends.
But deep down, a part of you tells you it isn’t that simple anymore.
And maybe—just maybe—he knows it too.
“Are you busy?” Jake’s voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension.
“Never too busy for our calls,” you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesn’t respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. “Hard day?”
He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guys’ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycle—all spiraled into a mental mess he doesn’t seem to shake.
The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to you—the one person who could steady his racing thoughts.
"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my face—I'm just—it's like I'm never alone."
Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if he’s admitting something for the first time—not just to anyone else, but to himself.
"I—I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"
You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow.
"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."
He lets out an exhale—shaky, but relieved.
"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."
"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. “I know.”
"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging you—just wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."
"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."
What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergency—all because Jake couldn’t figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matter—his words, not yours).
"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh.
He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.
"Okay, but seriously, you’re trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness.
"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"
"Jake,” you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."
He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."
You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."
His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.
"Only because you said so."
"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.
The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know.
"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds.
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."
"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.
On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how he’s feeling, and he thinks—not for the first time—that you might be his favorite person in the world.
The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relax—to just be.
You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs this—a moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him.
Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, it’s so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.
"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench.
"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."
"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."
You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you.
"Always, Jake."
“Tell me something about you that I don’t already know,” you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jake’s come to crave.
“Hmm,” Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you.
Even though it’s definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal.
Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right.
“I don’t know,” he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. “I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.”
“You’re so corny it physically hurts, Jake,” you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away.
“Oh—wait, wait! I have one,” he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement.
“Hit me,” you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds.
“I’m allergic to flowers.”
The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering.
“That’s your fun fact? That’s so tragic, Jake,” you gasp through your giggles. “Like, depressingly tragic.”
“Hey! It’s not that sad, it could be worse,” Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can).
“So you’re telling me you’ve never bought a girl flowers before?” You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling.
“Guess not,” Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. “Jenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever I’m around any kind.”
You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jake’s phone like sunshine, and Jake doesn’t even realize he’s smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache.
But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang of…anything. No weird tension, no lingering sadness—just a casual mention and then…nothing.
It’s freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didn’t know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if he’s found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed.
He wonders maybe it’s not when—maybe it’s who.
And he wonders if it’s you.
Today was supposed to be Jake’s day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.
Key term: supposed to be.
Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfare—and losing spectacularly.
The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.
Freedom was a lie.
Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.
It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name of—city number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.
Big mistake.
The outfit on display—similar to his mind—had you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.
Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.
He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.
Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.
You’d love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it was—even though Jake would pay for it—yet you’d still finish the entire thing.
And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too.
Because you always did.
And Jake always lets you.
The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone.
It was instinctual at this point.
Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image) Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)
Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.
By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like he’d run a mental marathon—except instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.
He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.
Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him.
You texted him two hours ago—a sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.'
Casual. Normal.
But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'
Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.
But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.
The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlier—when Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.
Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.
Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?
Answer: Jake.
But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.
She’s just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because she’s cool and funny and…and she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But it’s normal to think about your friends, right? Right??
But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.
And then it hits.
Like, really hits.
Oh my god. I like her.
Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.
No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.
Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.
Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, she’s cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-they’re-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dad’s-jokes-and-enjoying-your-mom’s-meals-forever kind of way.
And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying.
It's exhilarating.
Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until now—until you. Because this feeling with you?
This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.
Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.
With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.
Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.
Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?
But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?
What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.
And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.
Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.
Obviously.
Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?
What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?
He presses call.
The line rings twice before you answer.
"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"
Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.
"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."
"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.
Yeah, he definitely likes you.
"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.
"No—well, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."
Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.
"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"
Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, “You exist. That’s what.”
Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.
"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."
"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."
"And what's that?"
Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.
But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.
"I like you, Y/N."
The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.
“I mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.”
The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.
"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."
Then, you let out a soft exhale—a disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.
"Jake..."
"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "
For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerable—and yet, strangely, it feels right.
Because he means it, every word.
He's never meant anything more.
The line had gone quiet after Jake’s confession, his words echoing in your ears.
“I like you, Y/N.”
No, not like. Really, really like.
You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real.
A part of you still thinks it isn't—that this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call.
But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day.
First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video calls—but somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper.
Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy who’d effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you you’d done the same for him.
But then, came the fear.
Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery process—a way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave.
You weren’t naive enough to see Jake’s past relationship didn’t still linger in the corners of his mind. You’d seen him struggle with it before, how hard he’d tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something real—a Band-Aid for a wound that wasn’t even yours to heal?
And worse—what if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign.
Because that’s exactly what it would feel like, wouldn’t it? Giving it, letting yourself hope—only to crash and burn spectacularly.
Deep down, you knew you weren’t just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point.
You were risking everything.
And the worst part?
You were already halfway there.
That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not.
But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse.
Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didn’t send and every call you didn’t make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear:
You were already his.
You miss Jake’s voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep.
And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t ready to admit to yourself:
You were his. Completely.
The only question now was whether you’d let yourself believe he was yours too.
"Y/N?"
"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."
A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meant—"
"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."
"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, and—"
"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you.
"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."
You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out.
"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"
A beat of silence.
Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."
You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"
"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."
Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"
Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hours—into the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."
You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."
"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"
"Jungwon."
"Exactly."
You groan again, "But Jungwon, what if…what if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?"
Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, “Jake’s not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldn’t tell you he likes you unless he meant it.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Look," he interrupts. "Jake’s a lot of things—annoyingly loud, for one—but he’s not the kind of guy who’d use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.”
You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanket—because you know they're true.
“And for what it’s worth,” Jungwon continues, “I think you like him too.”
“I..,” you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.”
“That’s okay,” Jungwon says gently. “But don’t let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.”
You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is.
"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude.
"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriously—you should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where I’m gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."
A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."
"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?"
Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum.
"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."
You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."
"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."
The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact picture—a selfie the two of you took together many years ago—staring back at you like a challenge.
Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists.
But then you remember Jungwon's words.
You deserve this.
And so does Jake.
You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name.
The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up.
"Y/N," Jake’s voice is rushed, a little breathless.
"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"
"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still would’ve picked up."
"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed this—you missed him.
"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath it—the faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have.
You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."
"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."
You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About you. About…us.”
Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself.
You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."
"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness.
You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admit—to Jake and to yourself.
"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't know—you're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, or—"
"Y/N,” Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle.
"You're not…a rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you."
Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you.
“You’re the one who makes me laugh when I’ve had the worst day,” Jake continues. “You’re the one I want to talk to, even when I’m running on zero sleep. You’re the one I think about when I’m on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. It’s you, Y/N."
His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming.
"Are you sure, Jake?"
"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words.
You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, “You’re so cheesy, you know that?”
Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air.
"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady.
You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing.
“Jake?” You say finally, your voice trembling.
“Yeah?”
“I think…” You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. “I think I want to try too.”
The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jake’s laugh—soft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter.
“You're driving me crazy, Y/N,” he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, a smile clear in his tone.
“I hope I am,” you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. “Guess I’m stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?”
“Stuck with me?” Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. “No way. I’m stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”
His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless.
“Good,” you whisper, your cheeks warm. “Because I don’t want you to.”
“Hi Jake,” your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you.
“Hey pretty,” he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip.
You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, “Oh, so now I’m pretty, huh?”
Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, “Nah, you’ve always been pretty. Just didn’t have the guts to say it to your face before.”
You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Jake.”
“Stop that, don’t hide. Let me see your face,” his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks.
“Cute,” he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.
“Whatever,” you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. “How was your day today?”
“Mmm, it was good,” Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. “Busy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But it’s nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?”
“I’m glad,” your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. “You deserve all of it, Jake.”
“Stop,” now he’s groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. “You’re going to make me blush.”
“Mm, looks like you already are, Jakey,” you shake your head, laughing softly.
“Maybe a little,” he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you can’t help but laugh again.
The call falls quiet for a moment, but it’s not awkward—just comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him.
“I miss you,” he says suddenly, and there’s something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard.
Your heart stutters.
“Jake, I literally called you this morning,” you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you can’t resist, “I miss you too.”
“You don’t sound convincing enough,” his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. “Say it like you mean it.”
“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that it’s physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I don’t see you soon. Happy?”
“Very,” he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"
"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."
Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."
"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"
"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."
You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you.
"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."
Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face.
"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip.
You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness.
"I don't know—like you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning.
"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."
His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jake—the one that speaks so candidly, so sweetly—like you're the only person in his universe.
But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too.
Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with.
"Jake..."
"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading.
"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"
"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."
He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."
You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everything—the doubts, the undefined boundaries—you can't deny the truth of how you feel.
"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."
You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."
"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."
You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"
"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."
"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."
"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Something—or someone—I want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."
You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone.
“You're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."
"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."
"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."
"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."
Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you? Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you? Jake [2:16AM]: well…yea but I was thinking about you so…
Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture.
“Hi,” you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over.
“Hey pretty,” he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep.
“You have two seconds to give me a good reason why you’re here talking to me instead of getting a good night’s rest before your concert tomorrow,” your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look.
Jake laughs lightly, “Hey! Okay, hear me out. I couldn’t sleep, so I did something.”
You raise an eyebrow, “You did something? That sounds ominous, I’m scared.”
“Yeah. For you,” he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. “I made you a playlist.”
Your brain stalls at how simple he says it—so casual, as if not packed with so much meaning.
“A playlist? You—wait, why?”
Jake shrugs, “I don’t know—I guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..”
You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered.
And aced it.
And of course, he notices—because Jake always notices.
“You okay there?” His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity.
“Define okay,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. “Because if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy who’s halfway across the world, then no, I’m absolutely not okay.”
Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, “If it helps, you’re not the only one losing your mind here.”
“Oh yeah?” you arch an eyebrow, “What’s your excuse, Sim?”
“My excuse?” He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. “Hmm…let’s see…I’m hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and who—“
“Okay! Stop, stop, enough,” your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold down. “You’re gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. I’m not strong enough for this.”
Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, “Fine, fine. But seriously, look.”
You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link.
“It’s called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?”
You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognize—all of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you.
"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming.
"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction.
"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."
Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two.
"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."
You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over you—vulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."
"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."
You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence.
"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over.
"Only if they’re about you," he quips, grinning.
You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."
"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into.
"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he is—even with the pillow creases on his cheek.
"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."
"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head.
"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."
Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."
Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."
A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jake—sweet, determined, and impossibly endearing.
But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile.
Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:
Y/N! Hope you’re doing well! We all miss you and can’t wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The team’s already prepping everything. We’d love for you to come—it wouldn’t be the same without you. 10 PM! See you!
You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself.
Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."
"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."
"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."
"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"
"Because I know you're hiding something—" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "—and you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."
"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleep—you're barely holding it together over there."
"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."
His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."
"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"
You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this point—but in the best way possible, of course.
"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."
The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only.
Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought:
Jake.
The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonight—when you finally see Jake in person—could go down.
Because, really—how exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself?
Not exactly something you can Google.
Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)
By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helping—why did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)
And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the years—all the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now.
Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the door—because 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alert—to you, it really is.)
The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding.
Any second now.
Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.
Simultaneously.
The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voices—one of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches.
And then the door swings open.
"SURPRISE!"
The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and Jake—Jake looks beautifully, stupidly confused.
Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptions—just Jake.
It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jake—the boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months.
Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to you—it all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?!
But then, finally, his eyes land on you.
The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression.
But you manage half a second of calm—half a second—before that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at you…but also from miles away at the same time.
His jaw tightens slightly—so slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at him—and for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see things—
He looks away.
He looks away.
He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened.
And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing there—staring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right?
Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes you—remember all those times he said it?
Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine.
You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment.
It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely.
Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension.
Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this is—your mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.
You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happen—this was not one of them.
You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"Y/N!"
Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."
"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."
He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."
"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms.
"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him.
"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."
You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid it—given you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for him—you're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear).
But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of me—oh, and also—"
"Jungwon."
"—if he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate to—"
"Jungwon!"
He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterday—or even an hour ago—you would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore.
"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them.
"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion.
"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."
Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat.
"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."
You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.
"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."
Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet?
But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."
And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him.
This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder.
"Jake!"
Jake turns around, and for a moment—a fleeting, fragile moment—you catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch.
"Y/N."
Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?
Now it feels like an afterthought.
His voice is calm, steady—too steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."
Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hug—but now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life.
Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension.
"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel.
Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."
You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crack—silently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug.
A shrug.
Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulder—whose voice sounded just like Jake's—whispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never there—as if it was never yours—in the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh.
As if they never belonged to you.
You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you.
"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."
The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there.
Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something there—but before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name.
"I—I should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"
He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos.
For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish.
Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chest—a heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just now—guarded, distant, a stranger—was so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew.
The Jake who made promises.
Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time.
Maybe you were just someone to fill the time.
Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them.
"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."
"I've been here,“ you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, “just...mingling."
Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."
You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."
Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. What—did someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"
At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls.
But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"
"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."
Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room.
"Hey...isn't that—"
You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't.
Because just like that, your world crumbles.
There she is—Jenn.
You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even.
Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder.
The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face.
The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away.
The way he smiles at her.
That same smile—the one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yours—now feels like a cruel joke.
And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter.
You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:
Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place.
Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your face—all the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands.
"Y/N, wait—" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater.
"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper.
Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made it—escaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throat—but a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you.
You glance over your shoulder, and there he is.
Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it.
Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor.
You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you.
"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "What—where are you going?"
"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door.
Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me—"
"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."
He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."
You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fine—"
"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door.
Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak.
You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence.
"Y/N."
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago.
But still, you hear it anyway—because of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice.
And you hate it.
You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun.
You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on him—on the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his face—you hate yourself even more.
Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look.
“Can we talk?” Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you.
From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."
He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator.
The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.
You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter.
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.
“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over.
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."
“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…”
"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous."
"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest.
You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.”
“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."
"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?”
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—”
“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you were afraid of.
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you’ve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true.
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."
"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said—I meant it."
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over.
"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. “You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."
You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I—I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."
Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of you—broken, because of him—cuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.”
You look at him—at the boy who became your safe space these past few months—and all you feel is the ache in your heart.
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..."
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay—to give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better.
"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.
To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps—a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.
The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane.
Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head.
"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."
You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb.
Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again.
"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."
"I'm not—" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue.
“You are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."
The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."
He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."
You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it.
Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in.
"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse.
Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"
You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. I—I just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..."
You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to.
You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"
There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale.
"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for him—especially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"
You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"
"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would he—"
"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."
You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"
“Are you kidding?” Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “Y/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, I’ve seen it.”
And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out.
Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder—close enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you.
"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you.
"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."
You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?"
"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."
You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."
"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. But—"
He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "—it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."
You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words.
"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you.
"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."
Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be.
"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."
You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"
He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest.
"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you could—for yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."
You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying you…but you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to try—even if the unknown outcome fails you.
With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."
"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"
You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."
"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."
The knocking at Jungwon’s door comes at the worst possible moment.
He’s halfway through organizing his desk—something he only attempts when he’s too frustrated to sit still—and the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasn’t slept a millisecond all night.
Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood.
"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant.
“What do you want?” Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesn’t care.
Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."
Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"
He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night.
"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh.
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."
"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. I—God, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."
Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."
Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one.
"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."
Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean to—"
"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."
"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and I—I can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."
Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."
Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both.
"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And I—I panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."
Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else now—something softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up.
Because he knows Jake isn't lying.
"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."
Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, “I will. I swear, I will.”
"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you want—it's about what she needs."
Jake swallows hard, nodding again, “I just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her I’m sorry and—”
His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guy—and that his heart is in the right place.
But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever.
"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."
Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"
Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."
Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enough—there's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like it’s his lifeline.
“You know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/N’s not the type to let people in easily. She puts up walls—but with you…she let them down. You’re special to her, Jake, even if she doesn’t say it. Don’t throw that away. For her sake, and yours.”
“I won’t,” Jake promises, his voice steady now. “Thank you, Jungwon.”
Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."
Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."
Jungwon doesn’t respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopes—for all their sakes—that Jake means it.
Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/N Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i don’t blame you at all Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space and just show up at your door Jake [5:14PM]: even though it’s killing me to stay away Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, there’s nothing between us. there hasn’t been for a long time. and it’s my fault for making it seem otherwise. Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i acted…i don’t even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much. Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i don’t deserve it, and i don’t deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, i’ll do everything to make it up to you.
You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them away—the sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret.
You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions.
And yet, you can't stop.
You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignore—a small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth.
You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you.
The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth?
But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before?
And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."
Your breath catches.
Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybe—just maybe—Jake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truth—and you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through.
Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe.
Fear. Hope. Doubt.
And something else—something you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real.
And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chest—it's something that's pulling you forward.
Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope.
So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead.
You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff.
You hit send.
Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jake Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come over
The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know it’s coming.
“Y/N?”
His voice. Jake’s voice.
Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused it—that the cracks in your heart are his doing—but at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them.
You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is.
"Hi," Jake says softly.
He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened mess—his hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the other—
"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise.
Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I got—"
You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquet—daisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper.
"—a little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile.
Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything.
"Jake, you're literally allergic."
His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks.
"Well, yeah, but—," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "—not, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."
He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."
You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at him—at the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure.
You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider.
"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."
Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next.
You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before.
"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourself—though the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible.
Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."
You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."
Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that.
"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."
Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes.
"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."
His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly.
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of it—for making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N."
His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place.
For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away though—his gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw.
As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely.
When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."
"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."
Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heart—sharp and bitter—but his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored.
That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him in—not just for his sake, but for you.
You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."
You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."
Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"
"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you."
His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.
"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."
"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."
You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerity—so hopeful and so real—the kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again.
So you do.
"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word.
Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively.
"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face.
You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip.
"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."
Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."
You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back.
"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare.
Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away.
Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trusting—knowing—he'll catch you.
"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."
You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely.
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace.
It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all.
But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start.
And a start is all you need.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
epilogue:
“Hi, pretty.”
“Hi, Jake.”
On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar pout—the one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.
“After all we’ve been through, you still won’t give me a cute pet name?”
You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, “What do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?”
Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes."
Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.”
He clutches his chest dramatically, “You know, what? You’re my struggle—I fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still won’t give me a crumb of your affection?”
“You’re exhausting.”
“And yet…,” Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.”
Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Don’t' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."
Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."
You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back then—like you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real.
"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground.
"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."
You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."
Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit it—you miss me."
You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."
His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silence—the kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well.
Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear.
"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words.
"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"
"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice.
“Sleep tight. I love you,” his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word.
“Goodnight, Jakey,” you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction.
Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, “Y/N…not this again.”
You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his face—the slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you.
“I said I love youuu,” he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes.
Finally, you give in, smiling sweetly.
“I love you, too, Jake. You already know.”
And you’ve never meant anything more.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Songs that Remind me of Y/N:
From the first call to forever—you've always been my favorite melody. Yours, Jake <3
"As I Am" – Justin Bieber (ft. Khalid)
"Daylight" – Taylor Swift
"DIE 4 YOU" - Dean
"Psycho, Pt. 2" – Russ
"Heaven" – Bazzi
"Every Kind of Way" – H.E.R.
"Off My Face" – Justin Bieber
"Before You" – Benson Boone
"Sunflower" – Post Malone & Swae Lee
"Pink + White" – Frank Ocean
"No Doubt" – Enhypen <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:
⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡
p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretation—hence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !!
<3, addie
m.list here!
tag list (love you all <3):
(i hope it let me tag everyone!)
@thesassy-mia @ikeulove @renaishun @xylatox @puma-riki @blackberryrains @dreamiestay @junislqve @lamin143 @dreamy-carat @etherealhan @vvenusoncasual @belovedsthings @somuchdard @sumzysworld @mirouie @almondtofu006 @fancypeacepersona @vivimura @hollxe1 @missthang600 @sugarikiz @sanasour @enhamonsterghoul @etherealriki
서로 통하는 가사 ❪ CONNECTED MELODiES — A YANG JUNGWON SMAU ❫
SOCIAL MEDIA AU ✉️ jungwon always knew you loved songwriting, of course he’d know — you were his senior, long-time crush and sister of his own idol, jungkook of bts. but when everyone is convinced you’re writing love songs about him, how on earth is he going to react?
PAIRING idol!jungwon x fem!reader
GENRE social media au, fluff, crack, angst, idol au, he fell first but she fell harder!
SPECIAL CAST! members of 엔하이픈! chuu — EX LOONA ten of NCT, somi [SOLOIST] as member face claims! jungkook ( BTS ) ⬭ xikers minjae riize anton 🗯️ &TEAM nicholas SOLOIST leo, IVE wonyoung & liz, NWJNS HANNI DANI! aespa winter lesserafim yunjin ZB1 ◌ taerae ﹏
DISCLAIMER everything mentioned in this story is completely fictional, character portrayal here is not based off the idols mentioned in real life.
AUTHORS NOTE! #hi #sorry #flop era so redoing this whole smau is not what I had planned but uhm. yknow sry for suddenly deactivating guys PLS forgive me I will post again (hopefully) and yes pls enjoy and let ya girl breathe 🪷🗯️
𖥔 ݁ 𓈒 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 ( 데뷔전! ) 🍀
❪ 20200516 ❫ attention! ( denial ) ❪ 20200812 ❫ ( indirectly ) face to face. ❪ 20201130 ❫ so this is love.. ( delusional )
✶ ݁ 𓈒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ( 데뷔! ) 🦢 enhaeiipun | elphobeeare | ultimate hate train | #ruOUT!
✶ ݁ 𓈒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ( 데뷔! ) 🪽
OO1 | boys like me don’t cry!
OO2 | her type is so me
OO3 | hb u killulu ur selfululu ( smau + written )
OO4 | #hashtag
OO5 | literally giggling..
OO6 | enha bridesmaids!!!
OO7 | witchcraft wonie 💓🥹✨
OO8 | mystery anonymous girl ( smau + written )
OO9 | i hate music bank !!!
O1O | interview with #bae ( smau + written )
O11 | bro-code broken
O12 |
O13 |
O14 |
001 ⌑ TAGLIST ( OPEN ) @kynrki @hysung @huan9jun @invusblog @yenqa @sserafimez @eundiarys @trsrina @hyeosi @aki1e @ndrceatm @hoonics @uolarieclosed @latriii @ixomiyu @bwljules @talia02 @li0ilthecxnt @whippedforbeomgyu @mmaplepastries @adajoemaya @astrae4 @stepout-09-15 @mirula @ineedaherosavemeenow @luvkait @captivq @roseidol @bubblytaetea @en-chantedtomeetyou @rksbae @aria-grace-scott @joti17 @prettysweet02 @strwberrydinosaur @lcv3lies @violetinferno @officiallyjaehyuns @yjjungwon @l0veflrws @renchai @saradexe @yoiyjw
002 ⌑ TAGLIST ( OPEN ) ( 여기 ) ━━━ 천사들𝓒heck 📨
SCREAMINGGGGG
dating apps suck (best friends to lovers)
summary: your best friend, soobin, has appointed himself as your matchmaker. but somewhere along the third guy he has swiped, he realizes maybe he doesn't want you dating someone else...i mean why date someone else when he's right there.
a/n: any of u guys out there missing soobin as much as me :(
genre: FLUFFFFFF just FLUFF!!!
characters: soobin x f!reader
words: 5226
warnings: none!!!
You could still picture the sunny afternoon, at seven years old, you’d crashed your bike in front of his house, tears streaming down your face as your knee bled. Soobin had sprinted out with a bright yellow Band-Aid and a juice box, declaring himself your “official nurse” with the most serious expression a seven-year-old could muster.
From that moment on, he was always there—whether it was saving you from disastrous school presentations, sneaking snacks into late-night study sessions, or simply knowing how to make you laugh on your worst days. Which is why, as you sat on your couch listening to him announce that he’d signed you up for a dating app, you couldn’t even stay mad. He grinned at you like he always did, that mischievous, boyish smile, completely unaware of the sudden ache it stirred in your chest.
"I'm not... interested," you muttered, pushing his hands away as he waved his phone in front of your face.
"Not interested?" Soobin raised a brow, leaning back against the couch dramatically. "You're pushing thirty—"
"I'm in my early twenties!" you gasped, smacking his arm in protest.
"And you've never had a boyfriend—"
"What's wrong with that?!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms indignantly. "Men can be... atrocious," you added with a heavy sigh, narrowing your eyes at him. "You should know. You're one."
Soobin chuckled, completely unbothered by your jab. "Wow, true but harsh. Not all of us are terrible, you know."
You gave him a skeptical look. "Name me one guy who's not a literal trashbag."
"Me," he shot back with a cheeky grin, earning another smack on the arm. "What? I'm an absolute catch! If I weren’t your best friend, I’d totally be your type."
You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the sudden warmth blooming in your chest at his words. "Sure."
"Don't be sarcastic," he pouted, clutching his chest like you’d mortally wounded him. "Anyway, that's not the point. The point is you deserve someone amazing, and I'm here to help you find them."
You sighed, knowing this conversation was far from over. "I’m not sure about this, Soobin. Dating apps are weird, and—”
"Which is why you have me!" he interrupted, flashing his phone. "I'll filter through the weirdos and only show you the cream of the crop. Consider me your personal dating concierge."
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. "I don't know, Bin. This isn't gonna end well."
Soobin’s grin turned softer, a rare moment of sincerity breaking through his playful demeanor. "Trust me. Please?"
"But what do you get out of this?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him. "And since when were you so interested in my dating life?"
Soobin shrugged, leaning back against the couch and tossing his phone onto the coffee table like this was no big deal. "Well, I'm interested because I'm a great friend. Wonderful, even."
You arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. "You’ve never been this invested in my love life before. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were plotting something."
He gasped, clutching his chest in mock offense. "Me? Can't a friend just help another friend out. I’m truly hurt. Deeply wounded. I just want to see you happy, that’s all. Is that so suspicious?"
"Extremely," you deadpanned, though the corners of your lips tugged upward despite yourself.
"Okay, fine," Soobin groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I know I messed up three months ago with that whole Yeonjun situation—"
"Messed up?" You shot him an incredulous look.
He winced, holding up his hands defensively. "Okay, maybe messed up is not a fair term but I didn’t know he was talking about my other female friend! Look, I don’t have that many female friends, and I really thought he meant you!"
Ah, the Yeonjun incident. You dubbed it the most horrible, most awkward situation Soobin had ever put you in. Based on some sort of colossal misunderstanding, Soobin had convinced himself that Yeonjun, his old college roommate, was harboring a massive crush on you. So, naturally, Soobin had set you up on what he promised would be "the best date ever."
Except when you showed up—nervous but secretly excited—you were greeted with Yeonjun’s confused smile and the words, “Wait, when’s Arin getting here?”
Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You had stormed out, left Soobin an earful of angry texts, and refused to speak to him for days. When he finally grovelled his way back into your good graces, you made him scrub your toilet for an entire month—no buts, no excuses, no escape.
"You thought he liked me, Soobin," you said now, glaring at him. "And you didn't think to double-check before sending me to that disaster of a date?"
Soobin shifted uncomfortably, his usual confidence faltering under your gaze. "Okay, in hindsight, yeah, maybe I should’ve clarified. But come on, that was months ago! I’ve learned my lesson!"
"Have you?" you asked, arms crossed, though a small smirk played on your lips.
He leaned closer, giving you his best puppy-dog eyes. "I have! Which is why this time, I’m personally overseeing everything. No Yeonjuns. No mix-ups. Just quality candidates handpicked by me."
You sighed, shaking your head. "Why do I feel like this is still going to end in disaster?"
"It won’t," he said, a little too quickly. Then, softer, "I just... I want to make sure you find someone who sees you the way you deserve to be seen."
The sincerity in his voice made your stomach flip, but you pushed the feeling aside. Instead, you rolled your eyes and grabbed a throw pillow, tossing it at his face. "Fine. But if this goes south, you’re scrubbing the toilet again. For two months this time."
He caught the pillow with a grin. "Deal."
—
Somehow, Soobin had gathered an entourage. That just meant his other best friend, who had somehow wormed his way into your life too. Beomgyu had shown up uninvited—armed with snacks, a loud laugh, and zero shame—just as Soobin finished hooking up his phone to your TV.
Now, the three of you sat in your living room, swiping through dating profiles projected onto the big screen like some bizarre group activity. It was ridiculous.
"Good God," Beomgyu muttered, staring in horror at yet another man proudly holding a fish in his profile picture. "This is what you poor females have to go through?" He shuddered dramatically, sinking deeper into the couch. "That's like the fifth picture of a guy with a fish.’”
Soobin snorted, tossing a kernel of popcorn at Beomgyu. "New hobby alert?"
"Please," Beomgyu shot back, dodging the popcorn with a smirk. "If I ever post a picture with a fucking fish, kill me."
"Noted," you chimed in, scrolling past the next profile—a man with sunglasses indoors. "Wow, groundbreaking, looking like a real asshole, this one."
"Swipe left," Soobin said instantly, leaning forward like his life depended on it. "You deserve better than someone who hides behind sunglasses in every photo."
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. "Look at you, Mr. Overprotective. What' are you gonna do if she actually finds someone? Start grilling the guy like an overbearing dad?'"
"I’m not overprotective," Soobin protested, though his ears turned red.
"You absolutely are," you teased, hiding a smile. "Remember when that guy at the coffee shop asked for my number, and you told him I was really into feet?"
"That was… justified. He looked at you funny." Soobin muttered, grabbing a handful of popcorn to avoid your gaze.
Beomgyu burst out laughing, nearly choking on his drink.
You shook your head, amused but not entirely surprised. "We’ve been at this for an hour and you’re the one rejecting most of them, Soobin."
"Hey," Soobin said, his voice softer this time. "I’m just making sure we weed out the weirdos. You deserve someone who treats you like gold."
His words caught you off guard, the sincerity in his tone making your chest tighten. But before you could respond, Beomgyu swiped right on a profile with a mischievous grin.
"It's been an hour, and you've already turned down like a million guys for being bankers or art collectors or anyone with a job." You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him.
"Art collectors tend to be pretentious," he replied with a shrug. "I can't have you dating people like that."
"Oh, this guy looks fun, he likes band music and from what I see, he lives around here," Beomgyu said, ignoring Soobin’s groan.
"I’m vetoing that one," Soobin declared.
"Too late. I swiped," Beomgyu said with a wink, kicking back as the two of you stared at the screen in dismay.
"A MATCH!" The bright words popped up on the TV screen, accompanied by an obnoxious little jingle.
“Our first match of the day!” Beomgyu cheered, throwing his arms up like he’d won the lottery.
You slumped back against the couch with a dramatic sigh. “Am I really that undesirable?”
“No, it’s just the first one we liked because someone,” Beomgyu shot a pointed look at Soobin, “vetoed literally everyone else.”
Soobin crossed his arms, completely unbothered by the accusation. “Sorry for having standards. Do you want her to end up with Sunglasses Indoors Guy or Fish Pic Number Five?”
You chuckled, pointing at the screen. “You’re being ridiculous. He seems cute—Huening Kai. He doesn’t sound like he’s from around here.”
“Yeah, well, he sounds like a loser. Look at this—he’s got a whole list of anime stats on his profile,” Soobin scoffed.
“Maybe you should date him,” you teased, laughing.
“Shut up. Something’s off about him,” Soobin muttered, his brows furrowing.
Beomgyu rolled his eyes dramatically. “God, you’re pickier than her! You’re acting like this is your dating profile.”
“She needs someone perfect. This guy… could be a weirdo, for all I care!” Soobin shot back, crossing his arms.
“Wasn’t this whole thing your idea?” You turned to Soobin, both confused and amused.
“Y-yeah, and I’m starting to think it might’ve been a bad one,” he mumbled, looking away.
“Aw, c’mon,” you said, grinning as you pointed at the screen again. “This Huening Kai kid is pretty cute. He looks like an anime character, and he matched with me! I’m a total loser compared to him—”
“No, you’re not,” Soobin interrupted firmly. “He’s the loser compared to you.”
Beomgyu nearly spilled his drink as he grabbed the remote, scrolling furiously to pull up the message on the big screen. “HE MESSAGED US! HE MESSAGED US!”
The three of you stared at the screen, where Huening Kai’s message blinked at the top of the chat:
Huening Kai: Hey there!
Soobin groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “Hey there? Could he be any more boring?”
“It’s just a greeting, dude,” you said, laughing at Soobin’s clear annoyance. “Not everyone needs to open a conversation with a Rupi Kaur poem.”
“I mean, he could at least try. How hard is it to put in a little effort? ‘Hey there’ is what you say to your dentist,” Soobin muttered.
“Okay, Mr. Dating Expert. What would you have said?” you teased, nudging him.
Soobin hesitated for a moment, his ears turning red. “I don’t know. Something cooler. Like… ‘Hey, I noticed your profile, and you seem interesting.’”
"That's worse," Beomgyu said flatly, munching on popcorn. "You sound like that one guy who tried recruiting me on LinkedIn."
You rolled your eyes and picked up your phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard. “Fine, let me show you how it’s done.”
You: Wow, are you always this formal, or did I catch you on your best behavior?
“There. Witty, a little playful,” you said, hitting send with a grin.
Beomgyu snorted. “Not bad. But now we wait. Time to see if Huening Kai can handle the pressure.”
Soobin crossed his arms, watching the screen like it might explode. “If he takes more than five minutes to reply, it’s a red flag.”
“Oh, stop it,” you said, laughing. “You’re acting like a little bitch..”
“I’m just saying,” Soobin mumbled, eyes glued to the screen.
Just then, the three dots appeared at the bottom of the chat. Huening Kai was typing.
“Here we go!” Beomgyu cheered, leaning forward.
The message popped up:
Huening Kai: Haha, depends. Do you prefer formal Huening Kai or the version who spends weekends in a Pikachu onesie?
Beomgyu burst out laughing. “Shit, I like this guy already.”
Soobin frowned. “A Pikachu onesie? Who admits that on their first conversation? RED FLAG!”
You grinned, already typing your reply. “Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Relax, Soobin. I think it’s cute.”
Soobin didn’t say anything, but the way his jaw tightened told you he wasn’t exactly thrilled.
Beomgyu leaned back in his chair, still chuckling to himself. “Man, I’m actually liking this guy. He’s got personality.”
Soobin wasn’t so convinced, crossing his arms as he glared at the screen. “Just... don’t let him turn this into a whole ‘my favorite anime character’ conversation.”
“Oh, please,” you said, smirking at Soobin. “You’re so dramatic about this. I’m just trying to have a normal chat.” You tapped your phone screen, sending your response:
You: Definitely the Pikachu version. Formality is overrated anyway. So, Huening Kai, is that your real name?
“I’m telling you right now, he’s a definite red flag.” Soobin scoffed.
Before you could respond to his snarky comment, Soobin’s phone buzzed, causing all three of you to freeze. You grabbed the phone first, quickly unlocking it to check the new message.
Huening Kai: Yep. You can call me Kai though.
You looked over at Beomgyu, who was clearly as excited as you were. “Kai,” you said with a grin. “It rolls off the tongue.”
Soobin sighed from across the room, his gaze still fixed on his phone. “I’m telling you, something’s off about him. Here, let me test something out.”
You frowned, sensing that Soobin was about to do something unreasonably overprotective. “Test what?”
Without waiting for your response, Soobin typed furiously on his phone. After a few seconds, he turned the screen to face you. His message to Kai read:
You: Hey, Kai. Just out of curiosity, how do you feel about Annie?
“Annie? The musical?” You looked at him, genuinely confused.
Kai: The musical? I’ve never seen it.
Soobin smirked triumphantly. “There! There’s your answer. He’s uncultured!”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, crossing your arms. “Soobs, I’m not basing the guy I date on a musical I've never watched.”
Beomgyu leaned back, clearly enjoying the drama unfolding. “Who even watches musicals these days?”
You shot him a look, but the next thing you knew, Soobin was still going on.
“What does that even prove?”
Soobin’s expression was smug. “It proves that he’s clearly not refined enough for you.”
“Refined enough?” You stared at him. “Is this about the Annie thing or... I don’t know, your sudden obsession with my dating life?”
Beomgyu groaned dramatically. “Here we go. Soobin’s going full protector mode. I swear, this is like watching a soap opera. Someone just throw in a dramatic music cue.”
You sighed, glancing at your phone again, already typing up a new response to Kai. “Can we at least let him get past the Annie test before you start declaring him uncultured?”
But Soobin didn’t seem to hear you, too focused on his own thoughts. “I’m just saying... if he doesn’t like Annie, how could he possibly appreciate the classics?”
“Annie isn’t even a classic!” you retorted, exasperated.
Beomgyu snickered, but you could feel his amusement waver. Something else was brewing under the surface—and maybe, just maybe, it was more about Soobin than it was about Kai.
“Yes, it is!” Soobin retaliated, his voice rising in defense.
You threw your hands up in frustration. “Y’know what... you’re insane, and I’m going to get myself a cup of coffee from the convenience store. You can sit here and act Annie out or whatever.” You narrowed your eyes at Soobin, then turned on your heel.
“Oh, c’mon! I’m just tryna look out for–”
“Pull your pants up.” You muttered, signaling his falling sweatpants, before walking away.
“You’re so annoying!” Soobin huffed, pulling his pants up, but his voice quickly faded as you made your way to the door.
You paused for a moment, looking at Beomgyu sweetly. “Beomie, do you need anything?”
“Diet soda would be great.” He grinned at you, clearly relishing the chaos that was unfolding.
You gave him a deadpan stare.
“You’re not gonna ask me?” Soobin scoffed.
“Ask Annie to get you some.”
Rolling your eyes, you slammed the door behind you, leaving them to their bickering. As you walked to the store, you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Somehow, you knew Soobin’s ridiculous “test” was less about Kai and more about the fact that Soobin couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the idea of you dating someone else. Even though it was HIM that wanted you to date someone else in the first place.
Life would be so much easier if he knew how much you wanted HIM. Not Huening Kai. Not Yeonjun. Him. The thought of it felt almost too overwhelming to entertain—after all, you were just friends, right? You and Soobin had always been inseparable, but the line between friendship and something more had always felt like a hazy blur you couldn’t cross.
You shook your head as you entered the convenience store, pulling your jacket tighter against the chill. The last thing you needed was to complicate things by admitting how much you cared. Not when Soobin was so… oblivious. So focused on helping you find someone else. You grabbed your coffee and a diet soda for Beomgyu, the weight of the situation sinking in more with each passing second.
Back at home, the two boys sat in silence, the tension between them thick enough to cut with a knife. Soobin was still standing, breathing heavily, his fists clenched at his sides as if he were trying to hold back something. Beomgyu, on the other hand, lounged comfortably on the couch, a smirk tugging at his lips as he placed his hands on his hips.
“So, when are you gonna tell her?” Beomgyu’s voice was teasing, yet full of that knowing glint in his eyes.
Soobin glared at him, his expression a mix of annoyance and confusion. “Tell her what?”
Beomgyu chuckled, clearly enjoying himself. “That you like her.”
“I don’t like her. I mean, I do. But not how you think...” Soobin’s defense was half-hearted at best, as if he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth curling into a sly grin. “Right... right. Because you’re in love with her.”
“Geez, Beomgyu,” Soobin groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Stop fucking around.”
“I’m not.” Beomgyu sighed dramatically, sitting back a little further into the couch. “You’re tweaking over some random guy we swiped on Tinder..”
Soobin shifted uncomfortably, his mind spinning with the mess of feelings he wasn’t ready to confront. “I just… want the best for her. Is that so bad?”
Beomgyu didn’t buy it. He studied Soobin for a long moment, the smirk fading into something more serious. “It sounds more like you want to be with her,” he said slowly, his words heavy with meaning.
Soobin’s jaw tightened, his eyes darting to the ground, suddenly unsure of what to say. His thoughts had been a whirlwind ever since he’d seen you swipe through profiles, the fact that you were even considering someone else—someone not him—a constant ache in his chest. It was easier when it was just the two of you, comfortable in your friendship, knowing exactly where you stood. But now? Now everything felt different.
“Damn it,” Soobin muttered under his breath. “I’m not ready for this.”
Beomgyu let out a low chuckle, sitting up. “Yeah, you are. You just don’t want to admit it. But I’ll tell you this, Soobin. If you don’t step up and do something about it… someone else will.”
“What, who?” Soobin asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“I know a couple of people who may be interested in our friend.”
“What?” Soobin’s eyes widened, trying to process. “What do you mean, a couple of people? Like more than one?”
“Maybe.”
“Beomgyu, stop being so cryptic!” Soobin nearly shouted, frustration creeping into his voice. “Who are they?!”
Beomgyu leaned back, clearly enjoying the moment. “Damn, you must really like her. Getting you all worked up like this.”
Soobin clenched his fists, trying to hold back a groan. “I swear, if you don’t just tell me—”
“Relax,” Beomgyu interrupted, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just messing with you. But seriously, if you don’t make a move soon, someone else is going to. And I’m not talking about some random guy. I mean, it’s obvious. She likes you too, Soobin. But you’re too scared to do anything about it.”
Soobin froze, his heart skipping a beat. She likes me too? The words echoed in his mind. He’d never thought about it that way before. Is it true? Or is Beomgyu messing with him? Like always.
“I— I don’t know, Beomgyu. What if I mess things up? What if it ruins everything?”
Beomgyu shook his head with a small smile. “Dude, you’re so scared of messing up that you’re not even trying. You’re wasting time. She’s not going to wait around forever. But if you don’t tell her how you feel, someone else might.”
Soobin paced the room, his thoughts a whirlwind of uncertainty and fear. The truth was, he did like you. More than he’d ever admitted to himself. He just didn’t know how to act on it. The idea of losing you was too much to bear, but what if you didn’t feel the same way? What if everything changed and he ruined the friendship?
Beomgyu stood up, watching Soobin with a knowing expression. “You’ve got to decide. But know this... you're running out of time.”
Soobin looked up at him, his resolve hardening. He had a choice to make. And whether it scared him or not, it was time to stop running from it.
He took a deep breath. “Thanks, Beomgyu.”
Beomgyu grinned. “Anytime. Now go, before you let her slip away.”
"So I go now?" Soobin looked at Beomgyu, pointing at the door, a mix of excitement and doubt written all over his face.
Beomgyu nodded, smiling. Happy to help his friend.
"Now?" Soobin repeated.
"Yes, you freak," Beomgyu narrowed his eyes, clearly not in the mood for Soobin's indecisiveness.
"Like, now?" Soobin asked, still not quite convinced.
"Yes! Go! Damn, I’ll watch the stove for you. Just go!" Beomgyu gestured impatiently, pushing Soobin toward the door.
"Okay, I’m going. I’m going! I’m doing it!" Soobin yelled, finally mustering some courage, though his nerves were still running wild. "What if she doesn’t like me–"
"Dude, I will kiss her myself to hurry this shit up," Beomgyu deadpanned, not even missing a beat.
"Right. I’m going," Soobin said, nodding determinedly. But before he left, he hesitated, voice cracking slightly, "What if I mess it all up?"
Beomgyu sighed, looking at him like he was an idiot. "If you don’t go, you will mess it up. Now get outta here."
With that, Soobin finally pushed through the door, his heart racing, each step taking him closer to something that could either change everything or leave him with even more questions. But he knew one thing for sure—he couldn’t go on without knowing how you felt.
As he jogged towards the store, the thought of you consumed him. Would it be the start of something new? Or would he return, more confused than before?
Either way, he was doing this. No backing out now.
At the store, you sighed, "Honestly, he's really lucky I love him," as you picked out Soobin's favorite ice cream from the freezer, shaking your head in amusement.
You grabbed a few other items—coffee for yourself, soda for Beomgyu—and made your way home. It was nighttime, and the winter air was biting, making you huddle deeper into your puffer jacket. Your beanie snugly squeezed your cheeks, and the hood of your puffer was pulled up to shield you from the cold. As you walked, Soobin spotted your little figure, bundled up and waddling through the chilly night. Without hesitation, he ran to catch up to you, his breath coming out in visible puffs in the crisp air.
Turning around, you froze, confused. "What the hell are you doing here?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
Soobin stood there, a little out of breath, looking like he was in the middle of some emotional whirlwind. "Doing something I don’t know if I’ll regret or not," he said, running a hand through his hair, clearly nervous.
You raised an eyebrow. "Did your butt rash come back? The pharmacy's that way-"
Soobin froze, his face flushing. "N-no. I—how’d you know I had a—"
"Sometimes Beomgyu texts me things. Things I didn't need to know," you replied dryly.
"I’ll kill him later, but... no... look," he sighed, clearly awkward.
"Why are you all nervous? It's making me nervous," you said, glancing up at him, unsure what to make of this sudden energy between you two.
Soobin couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your puffy cheeks, the hood and beanie making you look even cuter than usual. "You're really cute, y'know that?" he said, almost absentmindedly.
"Huh?" You blinked up at him, slightly confused. "Did you just call me cute?"
He nodded, a soft, genuine smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yeah."
You could feel your cheeks heating up as you took a moment to really notice how cute he was. The tip of his nose was red, his cheeks a little pale, and his hair tousled. He was adorable.
“You too,” you mumbled, looking up at him. “Especially like this.”
His cheeks pinked at your words. “Look... I know I've been weird about this whole dating app thing.”
“Mhm...” you nodded, trying to understand.
“But it’s only because I felt bad about the Yeonjun thing…”
“Uh-huh…” you said, still trying to wrap your mind around everything.
“Then I also thought, you know, maybe today I realized I don’t really want you to date anyone that’s not... well, me.” He whispered the last part.
You blinked, a little stunned by his words. The quiet confession hung in the cold air between you two, leaving a warm flush creeping up your neck.
"Oh," you said, trying to process what he'd just said, but your heart was already racing.
Soobin shifted on his feet, looking a little uncomfortable with the silence that followed. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean... I didn’t want to make things weird, but I guess I just needed to say it. You know... that, uh, I like you. Like, really like you."
You could feel your heart skip a beat at his words, the weight of his confession finally sinking in.
“Soobin…” You paused, your thoughts swirling. “You’ve been acting all weird because you like me? This whole time?”
He nodded sheepishly, a slight embarrassed grin spreading across his face. "I know. I’m an idiot, right?"
You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. "You’re not an idiot. You’re just... Soobin."
He let out a relieved breath, his expression softening. "I guess this is my way of finally saying it, huh?"
Before you could answer, he took a small step closer, his gaze locked onto yours. You could feel the warmth of his presence, the weight of his words, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze.
"So," he murmured, his voice low, "are you still up for that... awkward conversation about us?"
You grinned, trying to suppress your nerves. "I’d really rather just tell you that I like you back."
Soobin’s smile grew, but it was a little shy, the corners of his lips curving up in the most endearing way. His dimples deepened as he grinned, but there was a slight hesitation in his eyes—like he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. It was cute, and you couldn’t help but notice how he was trying to hide his nerves behind that smile.
"So, Beomgyu was right then..." Soobin said, taking a small step closer to you.
"What’d Beomgyu say?" you asked, matching his movement and stepping a little closer yourself.
"That you’ve had a crush on me for a while now." Soobin's voice dropped even lower as he closed the smallest gap between you two, making your heart race.
You laughed softly, feeling the warmth between you. "It’s one of the rare times that man’s ever right. We should celebrate."
You looked up at him, the only space between you two now being the faintest gap between your lips.
"With a kiss, hopefully?" Soobin murmured, his breath warm against your skin. His voice was a little more teasing now, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in just slightly. “Not with Beomgyu though, right?” he added, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
You snorted in amusement, rolling your eyes. “You’re an idiot.”
He laughed softly, leaning even closer, his smile growing wider. “That just means you love me.”
You raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile curving on your own lips. "I'll think about it after I text my new buddy, Kai," you teased, your voice light and playful.
Soobin froze for a second, his smile faltering as he took in your words. “Oh...we're skipping to the toxic part of our relationship, and we haven't even started dating."
You couldn’t help but chuckle at his reaction, shaking your head. "Gotta have my freedom before I get locked down," you teased, your eyes twinkling with amusement.
Before you could even process the moment, a voice broke through the silence.
“Oh my God, just kiss already.”
Both of you turned to see Beomgyu standing there, a soda in hand.
“The soda was taking too long,” he added with a shrug, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to interrupt a romantic moment like that.
You groaned, playfully pushing Soobin away and hiding your face in your hands.
Soobin let out a frustrated laugh, his cheeks tinged with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "Yeah, thanks a lot. We were just about to kiss," he muttered, though he couldn’t wipe the grin off his face.
Beomgyu shrugged nonchalantly, clearly unfazed by the interruption. “Oh, rats in Paris would’ve gone to third base by now.”
You shot him an exasperated look, but couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up. The moment might've been ruined, but it didn't change the way Soobin was looking at you—how your heart was still racing.
"Next time, I'll just kiss you myself, Beomgyu," you said, giving him a playful glare.
"Please don't," Beomgyu said, dramatically stepping back. "I don’t need cooties from someone who wears jorts."
You raised an eyebrow, smirking. "At least I don’t wear socks with sandals."
“So, about that kiss,” Soobin murmured, his voice soft and low, his thumb gently grazing your chin as he tilted your face up, urging your eyes to meet his.
A slow smile tugged at your lips, and without hesitation, you leaned in, pressing a quick peck to his lips.
He pulled back slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. “That’s not a kiss. That’s more like child’s play.”
“Oh, then would you like to show me what a real kiss is?” you teased, your breath catching slightly at the closeness between you two.
Soobin smirked, his gaze dropping to your lips before meeting your eyes again. “If you’re begging.”
You could feel the fluttering anticipation in your chest as he cupped both of your cold cheeks, his touch warm against your skin. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips just hovering above yours.
“I like you so much,” he whispered, his breath brushing against your lips, his words making your heart race.
“Did you brush your teeth before this?” you murmured against his lips, your smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.
“Yeah,” he replied with a shrug, his voice a little breathless. “I had a feeling we’d be making out.”
“Solid decision.” You nodded, unable to hide the smile that was spreading across your face.
Soobin grinned, his thumb gently brushing your cheek as he pulled back slightly, still close enough that his breath mingled with yours. “Well, you never know when a good moment will pop up.”
“And you always seem to be prepared for them,” you teased, your fingers lightly tracing the collar of his jacket.
He chuckled softly, leaning in again but not closing the distance completely. “I’m just trying to be ready for you,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.
You raised an eyebrow, surprised but amused. “Oh, so this is all about me now, huh?”
Soobin nodded, a confident yet playful smile on his lips. “Always has been.”
THE MAN YOU ARE SUNGHOON!!!!
sorry, i’m an anti-romantic — a park sunghoon x reader social media au (completed)
#summary: after years of casual dating and never committing to relationships, your friends challenge you to fall in love. which is why you seek out park sunghoon, the campus heartbreaker, to pretend to break your heart. little do you know: his reputation is a complete lie.
#pairing: park sunghoon x reader (she/her pronouns)
#genre: social media au, college au, fake dating au, strangers to lovers, humour, romance
#warnings: swearing (not excessive but just a warning in case that bothers you), mentions of alcohol consumption, jokes about death/suicide (“i want to kill you,” “i want to kill myself,” etc), jokes such as “i’m going crazy,” mentions of sex/one night stands (nothing explicit), very mild sexual jokes (very pg-13 i promise it’s nothing bad)
#start: december 8th 2021
#end: may 20th 2022
#status: completed
#update schedule: every four days at 3:00pm pst
#tag list: closed! please read this before asking; requests to be added will be (lovingly) ignored because they happen so often. you can check if you’re on my tag list at the bottom of this post or here
#disclaimer: i’m not going to be using any pictures of thin korean girls as the reader so you can picture yourself as you are!
Lees verder
AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ a funeral pyre spin-off!
SYNOPSIS ⤏ after niki takes over her old roommate's lease, y/n has a hard time adjusting to the new living arrangement. it's totally not because niki's life goal is to terrorize her or anything.
PARING ⤏ roommate!niki x promiscuous!fem reader
GENRE ⤏ smau, rom-com, enemies to lovers, college au
FEATURING ⤏ heeseung, sunghoon, sunoo, jungwon and niki from enhypen, anton from riize, wonyoung from ive, gunwook from zb1, danielle from newjeans
FACECLAIM ⤏ faceclaim for y/n purely for picture purposes!! (@ loveyeno on ig)
WARNINGS ⤏ swearing, kms/kys & nsfw jokes, mentions of hook-ups and multiple partners, pls ignore timestamps 💔
PLAYLIST ⤏ boyfriend, ariana grande | let's be friends, emily osment | me and your mama, childish gambino | champagne & sunshine, plvtinum | one more night, maroon 5 | eyes don't line, isabel larosa | die for me, chase atlantic | positions, ariana grande | r u mine, artic monkeys | hit my line, plvtinum
STARTED ⤏ 12.xx.2024
STATUS ⤏ coming soon ♡ gonna start sometime next week
PROFILES & CHAPTERS
mean girls | niki & co.
001. roommate duties
002. where. tf. is my oat milk
after hours — athlete!nishimura riki. strangers to lovers. university au. fluff.
synopsis. when practice gets overwhelmingly exhausting, nishimura riki finds that staying at the field after hours can be such a calming past-time. apparently, you go there when you need to think too. an awkward friendship ensues. (7.5k words)
note. i’ve missed writing long fics in general so i hope this satisfied!
Over the years, Nishimura Riki has come to learn that there was something serene about a football field without any players practicing, playing – without an ear-piercing audience, without the pressure of winning.
Everything is instantly calmer, grass bathed in the moon’s glow, the air peaceful. At this time, the sun would’ve just been traitorously chased away by the moon, taking over the skies, and stirring crickets awake.
Back in high school, Riki would never admit the thrill he got from football, choosing to hide behind straight faces and unfazed facades, but now he’s given himself a break.
He finally allows himself to recognize that the field is filled with potential from promising players who poured their heart out into the sport. What he convinced himself as merely a club back in high school has become a huge part of his life (though he isn’t sure he’s ready to fully admit that yet).
So naturally, staying late for practice wasn’t anything new for the boy. It’s how he came to find out about the serenity of the field. And what stemmed from late practices became a routine for Nishimura Riki. It’s one of the few appeals to signing up for added hours after university.
Playing football was a commitment, but he’s grown to actually enjoy it - as long as he gets to witness the calm after the storm, the same serenity that explains why he’s currently standing in the middle of the field, eyes scanning the empty seats and trying to be engulfed by the solace that surrounded the empty space.
He liked how it felt, as if the entire world had stopped spinning for a moment and time wasn’t chasing after him, even though he’s pretty sure he isn’t supposed to be in the university field this late at night with the amount of homework he has to do the next day.
And on most days, he’d feel embarrassed to be caught in the field in the middle of the night (he was too prideful to admit he has passion for something for the fear of failure and disappointment). He supposes it’s alright though, as long as he comes prepared as to not be caught by—
“Hello?”
Lees verder
-
mcgoldass liked this · 1 month ago -
katherine2005 liked this · 1 month ago -
weyukinluv liked this · 2 months ago -
weyukinluv reblogged this · 2 months ago
-
fairykoo1 liked this · 2 months ago -
bttrfllws liked this · 2 months ago -
limerenceisserenity liked this · 2 months ago -
sunghoonswifie liked this · 2 months ago -
juneslittleworld liked this · 2 months ago -
k6oby liked this · 2 months ago -
yunalesia liked this · 2 months ago -
jusleai liked this · 3 months ago -
super-amberlynn liked this · 3 months ago -
luv4jungwonn liked this · 3 months ago -
emilbigperenes liked this · 3 months ago -
defaultaccountsblog liked this · 3 months ago -
emmiinemi liked this · 3 months ago -
rebelpasta liked this · 3 months ago -
joeyjuan11 liked this · 3 months ago -
sievenderz liked this · 3 months ago -
berricita liked this · 3 months ago -
molensworld reblogged this · 3 months ago -
kammyrae liked this · 3 months ago -
molensworld liked this · 3 months ago
-
dazedhooniexx liked this · 3 months ago -
ohmyyoon reblogged this · 3 months ago -
bl00eangel liked this · 3 months ago -
jiungswifeu liked this · 3 months ago -
sosaphiee liked this · 3 months ago -
itsmonsterink liked this · 3 months ago -
bluethreads liked this · 3 months ago -
luvbinnies liked this · 3 months ago -
vdjcbs liked this · 3 months ago -
xoglamourlifexo liked this · 3 months ago -
sunghoonlegalywife liked this · 3 months ago -
snowhoons liked this · 3 months ago -
somuchdard liked this · 3 months ago -
hobimississu liked this · 3 months ago -
kkthecutie123 reblogged this · 3 months ago -
jessicaradreamer liked this · 3 months ago -
kkthecutie123 liked this · 3 months ago
-
shiningduckling reblogged this · 3 months ago -
shiningduckling liked this · 3 months ago
-
imjustagirlwhowantstobeskinnyasf liked this · 3 months ago -
imjustagirlwhowantstobeskinnyasf reblogged this · 3 months ago
-
mora134340 reblogged this · 3 months ago -
mora134340 liked this · 3 months ago
-
moregojopls liked this · 3 months ago
-
tinycatharsis liked this · 3 months ago -
aerohmantics reblogged this · 3 months ago
