ARTIST FEAR

@dimiclaudeblaigan asked for a tutorial on how to begin drawing. Good news! If you can draw a funky looking stick man, you have already started!

I think that stick people are a great starting point for artists because of the things you can learn from them that will be important later on.

If you are able to draw a circle and a couple of lines, you can easily put together a stick person.

Congratulations! You have started to draw. :)

A stick person is a very minimal artistic representation of a real life person. It is simple yet recognizable, and is widely used in art, media, and signage.

But what can a stick person teach us about drawing people that look more like… well, people? Lets have a look!

By simply adding a few more lines, we can add a pair of eyes and a mouth. Maybe even a little triangle nose! Or half circles for ears. We can now draw a face, which provides a basis for all sorts of expressions.

These simple additions can allow us to explore the wide range of human emotion and individuality.

This may seem like the basics of the basics. But that is what we want! In order to get to the point where we are able to draw complex, elaborate representations of humans and objects, we will need to start with simple shapes like lines and circles and build our understanding from there.

For instance, lets give our stick person some cool new features, such as hands and feet. I chose little squiggly circles to represent hands, and triangles to represent feet.

We can go a step further and modify the body of the stick person to include shoulders, hips, elbows and knees. These parts of the human body are quite complex in real life But here, all we need to do is add a few simple lines and dots to our stick person.

The lines provide some additional structural elements to our stick person's body, which are the shoulders and the hips. The dots indicate the points of articulation - elbows and knees, the places where the arms and legs bend!

Now we can use our stick person to show us an even wider range of human movement, action, and expression.

Our little drawing of a human being is evolving! All it took was adding a few more lines and shapes here and there.

By elongating some of the existing lines and making the head an oval instead of a circle, we can give our stick person proportions that resemble that of a real life human.

By this point, we have managed to add more complexity to our stick person simply by using our ability to draw lines, circles, and other basic shapes!

These basic ideas are the building blocks that will enable us to create more complex shapes.

The next part may be a considerable step up if you are absolutely new to drawing, but I have decided to include it in order to show you how complex objects like the human body can be built from shapes that are a bit more complex than circles and lines.

For example. Two ovals and a rectangle can be combined to create a cylinder.

Six squares can be combined to create a cube, or a box. Here, each square is distorted slightly depending on which way the cube is facing.

Note that the back faces of the cube and the bottom of the cylinder are hidden. These shapes allow us to visualize that which should not normally visible.

A sphere from all perspectives can be represented by a circle. But we can make it more like a sphere by adding lighting and shadow if we so desire.

Cubes, cylinders, and spheres are examples of 'solid shapes' because they consist of 3 dimensions.

Lets see how these solid shapes can be used to compose the human body.

By stacking three cylindrical objects, we can create a torso. Two spheres have been added to form shoulders, while a smaller cylinder forms the neck.

An arm is an alternating sequence of spheres and cylinders connected together. Note that the hand has been simplified for this example.

We can apply these solid shapes to the rest of the body to give us a more recognizable representation of the human form. It doesn't even have to be perfect. And just like that, our stick figure now has a silhouette that is unmistakably a person!

In the above examples, notice that we kept the stick person at the beginning while building up the shapes and solids around it. This is because the stick person serves as a guide for positioning the body and its various parts -> also known as posing.

You can do the same thing to everyday objects! Here, I drew a wine glass by stacking these three dimensional solid shapes.

The cup and its contents are two ovoid shapes that were cut in half. The stem is a very thin cylinder shape. The base is a cylinder with a slightly wider bottom.

Solid shapes help inform us how objects and parts of the human body may appear from different perspectives.

For example, a sphere can be used to demonstrate how the human head appears when looking up or down, turned to the side, or tilted at an angle.

With these examples, I hope I have managed to convinced you that if you can draw a circle and a couple of lines, you can draw a person! You just have to train your eye to recognize the simple shapes within complex objects. Try it with everyday objects as well! Or even your favourite media! A drawing subject can be as simple or as complex as you envision it to be.

Once you have mastered that, there are many aspects of drawing you can explore from here that may require you to seek additional resources or a fellow artist's advice.

Last of all, remember that drawing is an iterative process. Even if you draw something correct the first time, you will need to draw it again and again to get it right all times! And by making small changes like the ones we explored in this tutorial, your drawings will gradually transform!

I hope what I've demonstrated here are enough to provide the basics of how to get started with drawing objects and people, and also to help refresh more experienced artists. :) Hopefully I didn't go too off topic with what was requested, and let me know if there are any more questions I can answer.

Cheers :3

it's time again for the ✨#ADHDCosmicTakeover!✨ my comic this year is about pinballing helplessly between interests and the frustrating feeling of being a "jack of all trades, master of none" (but who said i have to be a "master" of anything anyway? fuck off!)

thank you so much to dreamadoodles for organizing this year! pls check out the tag to see more comics from other contributors 🌠

Soo, these works are kinda old since I can see mistakes, but still I'll post them.

HAHAHAHAHA​ HE​ WOULD​ DO​ THIS!

lucifer's mood:

Hi! I was wondering if you could write some headcanons on how the brothers would react to the alternate timeline MC (the one killed by belphie, rip) haunting the house of lamentation? I just think some angst would be neato. Keep up the good work! I love your writing <3

Oh how much I love this concept. With all the ghost MCs I've been writing this fits in perfectly. How I love writing angst hehehe thank you for this wonderful ask

Thank you so much for your kindness. I hope I can do this justice :')

It has been months since you've been gone. Your body buried in the human world, and yet your soul still felt like it was lingering.

They could see you - a glimpse here, a whisper there and your presence everywhere. Almost as if you just walked past them into your room, and lay curled up in bed with Satan's new books or Levi's new manga. Only you weren't.

The bumps in your bed were just pillows and blankets. The extra chair stood out like a sore thumb. They would so often call you and then feel stupid for expecting a response. Except you had started answering back now.

Lucifer could often hear paper rustling in his sleep. And when he woke up he found the paper work was done more than he remembered doing.

He found his favourite tea brewing whenever he was too tired. And it tasted exactly how you used to make it.

At first he thought it was some sort of sickening joke from his brothers so he threatened to punish them if they didn't come clean. But it was none of them.

Then...MC? Did you come back somehow?

He went into a secret frenzy, looking for you everywhere. Sometimes when the house was empty, he screamed out your name, he could hear your voice softly calling back from your room.

Soon those soft vague sounds became his only comfort - he became super strict about silence in the house. He refused to have any other tea than the one he found magically brewing. He'd always kiss the cups before drinking from them, and his eyes would sting with unshed tears.

___________________________________________

Mammon might be scared of ghosts. But not you. Never you. Especially when he could feel your weight in his arms whenever he missed you too much.

Maybe the sensation was more vivid, since he was the last one to hold you alive. He could also see you. A faint shadow that walked beside and waved to him whenever he was in your room.

And though the shadow had no face, he could tell it was smiling. He felt calm around it. Like you never left. He denied your death the most and now there was reason to.

He barely left the house and most of the time he just stayed in your room. That's where he had most memories with you. Sometimes he found coins and Grimm strewn around your bed, as if you'd left it there for him. He took them and stored them away, never to spend them.

He was overjoyed when he saw your shadow in his room. He started talking to it like it was you, pressing his lips against the walls where you appeared and watching your shadow reaching up to touch his shadow, holding it tight. In those moments he swore he could feel your arms around him again. And on those nights, his pillows would be drenched with his agony.

___________________________________________

Leviathan first noticed it when he saw that Player 2 was always logged in, in all of his games. Even the ones that came months after you were longer there.

And while player two didn't actively play, he found boost items in his game inventory that he didn't achieve himself. You used to hunt down boost items to help with his battles and he protected you during the fights.

He starts getting even more into gaming, to the point where he forgets to go out for meals. Mammon and Satan have to drag him out to eat. He often just sits there talking to himself as if you're still there.

Then one day, in the group texts of the game, he sees you text. Player 2: 'Go get him Levi! I got your back; we have a lot of ammo!" He forgot the game altogether desperately typing back a message.

You don't text as often as he would like, but he's always waiting for whatever you say. It's easily the best part of his day. If he fell asleep in front of the screen, he would wake up covered with a blanket and good morning message on screen. His brothers claim to never have gone inside so he knows it's you. He cries into the blanket you covered him with cause he misses you.

___________________________________________

Satan came to feel your presence in the strangest way. There was a particular cat that you were attached to. That cat started finding ways to sneak inside the house, in the library or Satan's room, holding small books in its mouth.

When Satan opened them up, he found petals of your favourite flowers tucked away in some particular pages. It resembled the way you marked your favorite chapters using colored bits of paper or bookmarks.

He figured out a way to talk to you. He made something that resembled an Ouija board and left a little cat shaped button on it. He tried it out in your room, and it worked. You were talking back. Not whole sentences but broken phrases and words. So he used yes and no questions from then onwards.

He often found new books in his room, a hint that you wanted him to read them. While reading, he could swear he felt your head rest on his shoulder as if trying to read with him. He also left books in your room to read. Though he missed your touch and your voice, the fact that you still talk to him gave him so much joy. He often kisses the books he gives you, hoping they reach your fingers and litters the pages with tear stains in hopes you'd see them and come back.

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Asmodeus screamed the first time he saw you behind him in the mirror. You were transculent, barely visible. But it was you and your distinct smile and wave of the hand, leaning against his bathroom wall, long streaks of dried blood near your neck. He could even smell you - your scent like flowers, firewood and old books.

He tries to talk to you, even tries to hold you but you're just an image. A reflection that reflects nothing but empty space. You don't seem to talk but you nod or shake your head in reply. He presses himself into the mirror as if trying to hug you tight.

But lately he hears whispers, very faint and barely there but he hears them. Always calling him somewhere where there is a mirror. Cause that's the only place he can see you. If you thought he was obsessed with mirrors then, you should see him now.

He almost covered his whole room up with mirrors so he could see you from all angles, making you feel as alive as he possibly could. He screams your name into his pillows. Maybe you would respond if he was louder?

___________________________________________

Beelzebub often passed by you room, all covered now, just like Lilith's. The door was always kept open but he didn't dare enter. But one day, a strong gust of wind blew it wide open as if urging him to enter. So he did.

On the bed he found some fresh treats placed right in the middle of your bed. It was the treats he loved to eat together with you. How did they even get here?

He sat on the bed and absent mindedly started eating. When he ate, he could hear your laughter and you talking - a surge of memories flooding his senses. And when he was done, he could swear he felt your fingers wiping his mouth.

Eversince then he refused to eat anywhere except your room and his brothers had to drag him to the table during breakfast and dinner. But whenever a new bakery or restaurant opened, he would bring all the food back only to eat it in your room. And he would smile, listening to saying how delicious the food is. He would often clutch at his chest and cry, missing the way you used to hold him whenever he was sad. Won't you come hold him now, MC?

___________________________________________

Belphegor couldn't feel a thing. The only way he knew you were still here was when he brothers acted strangely. He'd ask them of course, but they'd never reply to him. He was the reason MC was gone. Why would MC show themself to him?

So he observed his brothers, always cautious for every little thing that was out of place. He'd caught all his brothers crying at some point or the other. Especially in your room. So he'd curl up in your room to spend the night in there hoping to feel you like his brothers. Only he never did, and Mammon and Satan would scream and drag him out the next morning.

None of the brothers would let him inside of their own rooms either. They couldn't save you when it mattered. So now it was their way of protecting whatever essence was left of you.

Feeling dejected and guilty he went and locked himself inside his old attic. He rested his against the bars that locked him in. Isn't this where he first met you, MC? Sigh. You'd been nothing but kind to him so why did he-

"Belphie.." Then he heard it. For the first time in forever, he heard your voice again. Soft and kind - just like before. He looked up and through the bars, he saw the most familiar sight. You smiling at him through the bars, your fingers wrapped around yours. And just like that he broke down. He started howling in pain, as he tried to reach you, but his fingers slipped right through you. "I'm sorry I'm sorry come back please come back!" He cried as you disappeared into thin air again.

My Masterlist .

Vicious

a/n: This ended up being so much longer than I expected?? Geez I hope it's actually good. This is 100% the first ever fanfic I've written and actually posted somewhere please be gentle. I've gone over this so many times to make sure it's decent that it now seems dumb to me lmao anywaaay I hope y'all enjoy! I might do a second part to this if people actually enjoy it? I also had a lot of inspiration listening to this while writing: Ripping Me Apart

Summary: MC lashes out at dinner one night over what happened in the attic; later has a confrontation with Belphegor himself.

Warnings/Tags: spoilers for lesson 16, mentions of death, murder, suffocation, cussing, mentions of dead body, pissed off MC, angst I guess? if i forgot anything let me know!

Word Count: 5.1k Those who asked to be tagged in this monstrosity: @yaboihack @hornehlittleweeblet2 @talesfrom0pheliaa @dee-zbignuts The Apologies: Beelzebub, Satan, Mammon Asmodeus, Leviathan

"What doesn't kill me makes me Vicious" ~Halestorm

Seven months had passed since your arrival to the Devildom, in that time you had learned to live with the demons around you and started to become friends with them even. It helped to have another human around, if that’s what you could call him, even if he was a little sketchy at times. The angels were also a nice addition, they helped you remember that not everyone was trying to eat you. However, in your short time here, you had tempted fate and escaped death more times than you would have liked but somehow you were still alive and managing to keep up with your class work. The one thing you seemed to have messed up was trying to reunite a family of demons. Saying it out loud you realized how dumb it sounded, but at the time you thought it was a good idea. You knew what it was like to have a family torn apart over something stupid, maybe that’s why you felt so bad when Beelzebub had told you about his twin. Maybe you were trying to fix their family the way you wished you could fix yours…or maybe you were just bored. Either way you had gone to the attic and opened Pandora’s box it seemed, and in the end you suffered more than you ever imagined you would.

It had been three weeks since Belphegor had been freed from his attic prison. Three weeks since he had rejoined his brothers in the house and at RAD. Three weeks since your death… you try not to think about that part too much. You keep your mind occupied during the day by focusing on your work, making sure you get to dinner on time, you even got a job just to keep busy. At night though it was difficult to keep the memories away, you do your best to distract yourself so you can fall asleep, putting headphones in and listening to music or leaving the TV on just to fill the silence. It wouldn’t be as bad if the six demons that you spent so much time with weren’t acting as if nothing happened. The brothers all seem to have moved on, they go about their days like normal, like they never gathered around your limp body and as if Mammon hadn’t held you in his arms while you took your last breath. You're not about to start a fight with seven demons, considering how the fight with one had gone, but you also are not about to forgive so quickly. Belphie has tried to cozy up to you as if he didn’t strangle you with his own hands, like he didn’t laugh at you while you gasped for air. You don’t want to upset the others by drastically rejecting him (you’re the one who freed him after all) so you gently brush him off, removing yourself from situations that would leave you two alone. You had walked him to class that first day when his brothers all ditched him but once you arrived at RAD you had darted off to your classroom. You want to forgive him, you really do, that’s just who you are as a person. You consider seeing a therapist because you're pretty sure this counts as some kind of horrible trauma disorder but regardless, part of you wants to try and see the good in him. Nothing about the other six brothers behavior sits well with you though. Why are they all so casually ignoring the fact that the youngest had killed you only weeks prior?? Three of them had become very close friends to you, you spent most of your free time with them goofing off and getting into trouble. The other three you weren’t as close with but two had liked you enough to make pacts with you so why were they all so quick to forget the murder that happened?

You try to ignore it, to suck it up and keep your thoughts to yourself. “Only a few months left and then I go home” you try to tell yourself. But then it happened. The dinner where everything came to a head. It had been a pretty normal day, you were a little annoyed at the grade you received on a pop quiz but other than that everything was okay. The brothers were all happily discussing their days and that was fine, but then one of them made a mistake.

“Look at how well we’re all getting along! And it’s all thanks to MC!” and another had responded

“Yeah, we used to try and kill each other at every meal!”

That was it, the last straw. Maybe that quiz pissed you off more than you thought, or maybe you had just been holding back this anger for too long. Before you knew it you were laughing hysterically, eyes starting to water, face turning red. The room was silent aside from your laughter and all eyes were on you now, while you wanted to feel embarrassed by your own sudden outburst, the rage you felt was far stronger. You kept your eyes on your plate and could feel your fists clenching, your laughter dying off but the tears still trying to form in your eyes, you always hated being an angry crier.

“MC…. a-are you alright?”

Your head was spinning at this point, unaware of which brother was asking that absurd question, it could’ve been Levi or it could’ve been Asmo. At this point you didn’t care, the fire inside you was now blazing through your lungs and down into your stomach. You’d done so well to keep your composure down here, trying to not upset Lucifer by “disgracing him or Diavolo”, trying to behave and be the good and well put together human they thought you were. Fuck that.

“Alright? Am I alright?” You raised your head to finally meet the seven sets of eyes all watching you. “Did you seriously just ask…IF I WAS ALRIGHT??” Your voice was much higher pitched than you had anticipated at the end but at this point that was the least of your concerns.

“MC, darling- “

“Don’t ‘darling’ me!” They want to know how you feel? Fine, here comes seven months of built-up rage. “I was literally KILLED three weeks ago! And you wanna know if I’m alright think about that for a minute!” You felt the air in the room change, five demons now looking anywhere except at you. “I’ve been trying my best to keep up with my studies down here so I don’t disappoint Lord Diavolo or the exchange program while simultaneously playing family therapist for seven demons! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW IF I’M ALRIGHT!” You were standing now; your chair had flown back without you noticing.

“MC there’s no need to raise your voice nor is there need for this discussion during din-”

“YES THERE IS!” You snapped your head to stare down the first born. The fear you had felt that night in the catacombs when you shielded Luke and Beel was gone. The catacombs… that was the first time Lucifer had nearly killed you. You were protecting his younger brother and yet he had rushed you in his demon form and accused you of trying to bring harm to his family. You saw the shock in his face, not only had you dared to talk back, but you had also yelled at him. You could tell he was about to start arguing with you again. That’s not happening, not tonight.

“Since my first day here you’ve drilled into my head that if I ever brought harm to your brothers, if I ever went against you or Diavolo, or if I ever brought shame to the exchange program, you’d show me no mercy! So I’ve busted my ass to do well in my classes! I’ve attended every little event Diavolo has thrown, I’ve jumped through every hoop you and Diavolo have held up to me! I did my best to get along with your brothers and help them with their problems! Yet I guess that wasn’t good enough since you tried to kill me yourself three different times! You claim to be such a powerful demon and you act like the three worlds revolve around this exchange program SO WHERE WERE YOU WHEN BELPHEGOR HAD HIS HANDS AROUND YOUR PRECIOUS EXCHANGE STUDENTS THROAT AND THEY WERE LOSING AIR?!”

Lucifer winced at your words. How dare you speak to him like that, who did you think you were acting like this in front of his brothers? He wanted to retaliate, to put you in your place and make you remember who were talking to. But you were right, he had done all those things and more. Just when he thought you had shattered his pride as much as a human could, you started in again.

“WHERE WERE ANY OF YOU?” You whipped your head around to look at the rest, all of them avoiding your gaze. “You expect me to believe NONE of you heard the noise coming from the attic? That none of you HEARD ME SCREAMING?” you watched Beel tense up as your voice got louder. You had never yelled like this before; you’d never been angry like this with them. Part of you felt bad for Beelzebub, all he wanted was for his family to be whole again and for you to be a part of it…then you remembered how he almost killed you over a pudding and destroyed your bedroom in the process. You looked over at Asmo, Levi and Satan, all three looking at the floor trying their best to not make eye contact. Leviathan was on the verge of tears, his face a deep red and he started to sink lower into his chair, Asmodeus was picking at the sleeve of his sweater and biting his lip, Satan looked the most uncomfortable out of all the brothers, most likely trying his best to not turn into his demon form thanks to the rage you were giving off. You hadn’t noticed until now but you could feel his pact on you burning, the heat from it only made you angrier. You had made pacts with all but one by this point, five of them when the incident happened, yet none of them had been there to protect you. Protect you. You looked over to Mammon and quickly wished you hadn’t. The second born had one hand wrapped around his stomach and the other covering his mouth to muffle his sobs. His eyes were red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, you could see him lightly shaking. You wanted so desperately to be angry with him as well but the best you could come up with was how rude he had been your first few weeks here and the fact that he too had dismissed Belphie’s actions. In all honesty he had been the nicest to you during your stay, you’d spent so much time together, he always made sure to include you in anything going on in the house. So why had he been so quick to forgive Belphie? That’s when the image came back to you, the one you had tried so desperately to forget, the one with your dying body. Walking in and seeing yourself beaten and bruised, laying in his arms. Oh god his arms! Mammon had been the one holding your broken body, tears running down his face as he caressed yours, trying so desperately to get you to stay with him. He had been the one to hold you as you took your final breath. That was why Mammon had dismissed it, he was trying to forget just like you were. The rage was growing again, this time with more ammo.

“You know what else pisses me off? The fact that all of you talk down and belittle Mammon and yet HE WAS THE ONE TO HOLD MY DYING BODY! You all act like he’s some heartless scumbag but he was the one who had to feel me actually die! I don’t want to hear any of you call him a scumbag ever again do you understand?” You knew you were getting off track, this was a speech for a different time and yet you received nods from all five brothers in your line of sight. At least they were listening, and all seemed ashamed, well…all but one. You could see him from the corner of your eye, you’d been avoiding him up until this point simply because that was how you’d spent the last three weeks, but now you could see him with that stupid smirk on his face. Was he enjoying his brothers misery? Or was he proud of what he had put you through? It didn’t matter, you had enough anger built up and you were ready to let it explode.

“You think this is funny? Is this all just some sick joke to you? Do you know how hurt Beelzebub was thinking you were off in the human world unhappy and against your will? You think you have all humans figured out, don’t you? We’re all just dumb little play toys for you, aren’t we? You don’t know a damn thing about me. I spent seven months getting to know your brothers and helping them reconnect and solve their problems! I felt bad for you being locked up there away from your family! I thought it was unfair that Lucifer would lock you away and then lie to your brothers! I wanted to help you! I TRUSTED YOU!” The smirk on Belphie’s face disappeared the moment you started in on him, replaced by a look of discomfort and embarrassment. Good, you wanted him to be hurt.

“And as a thank you for all that I did,” you put your hands on the table and leaned in towards him “you decided to put your hands around my throat and suffocate me until I blacked out. You dragged my body down from the attic and presented your kill like a proud hunting dog to your brothers that I’d spent months helping.” Your eyes narrowed and you clenched your fists once more, “Then you gave me the saddest excuse for an apology I’ve ever heard and immediately expected me to forgive you and suddenly act like we’ve been friends for years? No, absolutely not. Do you know why I made a pact with you so quickly after what happened? It wasn’t because I forgave you, it was so I could stop you if you ever tried to KILL ME AGAIN!” Belphie jumped at that last part, any joy he got from listening to you rip into his brothers had been smashed as you made him face the truth of his actions. You felt yourself shaking, the hot wet tears on your cheeks, your jaw clenched shut. You wanted to throw something, to break everything in the room, to scream at the top of your lungs in frustration. But you knew you had said enough, you were sure you’d be lectured by Lucifer later when he found the nerve, so you straightened up and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath and prepared to swallow your pride, something Lucifer could learn to do himself.

“If you’ll excuse me.” You turned sharply and headed straight to your room; you had considered saying sorry but quickly got over it. As soon as they heard your bedroom door shut, the brothers all took off to their own rooms, all but Lucifer who stayed at the table reviewing what had just happened in his mind. He let out a deep sigh and then placed his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the table, so much for the nice family dinner.

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While the others had all returned to their respective rooms, Belphegor had retreated to the attic, too ashamed to face his twin right now. He felt some comfort up there, away from the others and alone with his thoughts. Then his thoughts turned against him. He tried desperately to ignore them, tossing and turning on the bed, trying to just fall asleep and forget the entire evening but your words were echoing in his head “as thanks for all that I did” he squeezed his eyes shut. No, don’t do it. “You put your hands around my throat!” an image flashed in Belphie’s mind. Stop, please just let it go away. Belphie opened his eyes in hopes to make it all stop but instead it only intensified. In some cruel irony he had opened his eyes to face the exact spot it happened, and he could remember it all so vividly. You had begged and pleaded for him to stop but he kept going, taking every last ounce of oxygen you had. He remembered how it felt as you fought against his grip, you had kicked and clawed at him; he still had scratch marks on his arms that he kept covered. You had used all the strength you had left to fight back. And then you had gone limp.

“STOP IT!” Shocked by his own voice, Belphie covered his mouth. What had he done? You had been so genuine in your quest to free him, you had been nice to him from the very beginning, and he went and did that to you. He suddenly felt sick. Sitting up on the edge of the bed and gripping the sheets as if they’d save him from the guilt that was consuming him, Belphie now faced the door to his room. He remembered your first encounter, how you had seemed so concerned about his state of being and when you asked about his identity he lied. He remembered how you had come back after putting the pieces together and asked him why he had lied, and he told you about his fall out with Lucifer, and then lied some more to you. You put yourself through so much for him, for his brothers, for a bunch of demons who couldn’t solve their own problems, and all he had done up until now was lie to you. He had wanted to hate you so badly for no reason other than being human, he could remember the minute he had started putting his plan together and how he had felt knowing you would never be the wiser. But you kept coming back and it started getting harder to hate you. Every visit you would talk to him like he was an equal, unlike when Lucifer came by and spoke to him like a caged animal, and with every visit he became more frustrated and confused. You were just some human, part of the reason that they had lost Lilith, so why was it becoming harder to hate you? He could remember laying in bed staring at the attic ceiling, wondering what you were doing and what it was like to hang out with you. Did his brothers feel this way? Is that why three of them had formed pacts with you so easily? By the time he was freed his mind was a whirlpool of conflicting emotions, he hated the fact that it was no longer easy to be angry at you, he hated that you were so trusting, he hated Lucifer for putting him in that musty old room to start with. Before he knew it his hands were around your throat, everything during the moment felt like a blur, but now after being three weeks free and after watching you viciously tear into him and his brothers, remembering that moment happened in slow motion. Every noise you made seemed deafening and it was like he could feel your pulse dropping in his hands again. Then even after all of that, you had been the one to wait around and walk him to RAD his first day back and had been helping him repair his relationships with his brothers. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew his brothers had been avoiding him for good reason, he knew he fucked up, but he never expected you to be the only one to show him a sliver of kindness after what he did. At some point Belphie had slid off the bed, now he was kneeling on the floor fighting back tears, his throat felt tight and his body was starting to tremble. He had to fix this. ************************************************************************

Four hours had passed since your little outburst, yet you found yourself still riding the adrenaline high. Sleeping was pointless while you were this wound up so you had started reorganizing your room, not that it was helping you clear your mind. You were thrilled you had finally given them a piece of your mind, but you also knew now began the hardest part. You didn’t want to sever your ties with them, you enjoyed laughing and hanging out with the brothers, but you needed them to understand that dismissing what happened was NOT going to work. You started to wonder who the first to approach you would be, how long would it take before they looked at you without guilt covering their faces? You’d probably have to bully your way into Levi’s room in order to repair things with him. That was fine, he could wait, after all he also made an attempt on your life over a stupid contest. You were lost in your own thoughts but suddenly pulled back to reality when you heard a small noise outside your door. Walking closer you could make out the sound of someone quietly crying, you felt a sting in your chest and checked the time. Midnight, that meant it was either Beelzebub who had wandered over after getting his late-night snack or Mammon who would probably stay outside your room all night and then pretend he had just showed up when you came out for breakfast the next morning. You weighed your options and then decided, might as well start fixing things now since sleep was still evading you. You opened the door and prepared yourself for the sad puppy eyes of the second or sixth born but felt anxious when you discovered it was neither. Instead, standing outside your door with his hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants, was Belphie. He kept his head low and turned away from you, but you could still see his bloodshot eyes and the semi dried tear stains on his cheek, it was painfully obvious he had been crying much harder than he was now at some point.

“Do you need something?” your voice flat as you looked him up and down. He was in pajamas so he clearly had not planned on showing up here to pull something, but you kept your guard up.

“Can we talk?” his voice was barely audible and gave hints that he was on the verge of breaking. You shifted your weight as you stood in the doorway and thought about the question. While it sounded like some cheesy line from a bad sitcom and you thought about how fun it would be to slam the door in his face while he looked like a kicked puppy, you also considered how entertaining this might become. He came to your room to talk about something, and you wanted to find out what, but more importantly you wanted to see just how far you could push him in this state.

“Fine.” You moved out of the doorway and waited for him to enter; you could see him hesitate before doing so. It wasn’t until he stopped between your bed and the couch you had bought recently that you realized this was the first time he had actually been inside your room, he had stood out in the hall with Beel a few times when collecting you for dinner, but you had never invited him in. You watched as his eyes scanned your room and then landed on you, his form stiffening as he made eye contact.

“What do you want Belphie.” He shifted his gaze and whispered something in response.

“You’ll have to speak at a real volume, us humans don’t have the superior hearing you demon have I’m sure.” You were getting agitated again, it was late and he was wasting your time.

“I-I wanted to say…”

“Say what?”

“I’m trying to say…”

“Not trying very hard apparently!”

“Please just let me-“

“Let you what? Come up with some half assed apology again? Tell me another lie? Fool me enough to let my guard down so you can try and kill me again?? What do you want Belphegor? I’m not standing here all night while you waste my time SPIT IT OUT!”

“I’M SORRY ALRIGHT! I KNOW YOU DON’T CARE BUT I’M SORRY!”

You did it, without even trying you had pushed him over the edge. You watched him begin to fall apart, fat tears pouring from his eyes, his body starting to shake violently as he sobbed, you let him have his little breakdown.

“You didn’t d-deserve what I did! Y-you only wanted to h-help me and my brothers! I’m sorry! For every horrible thing I said and for putting you through that!”

You had to admit he was putting on one hell of a performance, you almost felt pity for him…almost.

“Can you ever forgive me for what I did?” his voice cracked this time.

Oh? So that’s his little goal, he came down here seeking forgiveness? He wants to put on a show in hopes that you’ll forgive him for his actions. At least this performance was better than that sorry excuse of an apology he had given you in front of the others. But why now? He had literally murdered you three weeks ago and was furious when you appeared before his brothers as they gathered around your corpse, it wasn’t until Diavolo had told them about…Lilith… that’s what this was about.

“Why should I? So you can feel better about yourself? So your dead sister won’t hate you? That’s what this is all for right? So you won’t look bad in Lilith’s eyes?”

“N-no it has nothing to do with- “

“LIAR! You couldn’t care less about what I think, you said it yourself, I’m just some stupid human! This little show is all for HER! Well guess what? I’m. Not. LILITH!” You felt your anger come flooding back to you, your dead ancestor or whatever she was to you was the whole reason any of this was happening in the first place. The more you thought about her, about your entire situation down here, the more you could feel the fire inside you growing. Satan’s pact burning on your skin once more, the fear you once had was long dead, all you felt was a burning rage. You thought that by now, after all you had been through, your fight or flight instinct would autopilot to flight in the face of conflict, but in this moment your entire body was choosing fight. You had lost the first fight against Belphegor because he caught you off guard, but this time you were ready and even if he killed you again you were gonna make sure you left your mark. As mad as you were you also knew better than to start screaming again, that would only bring more of them to your room and right now you had the only demon you needed in your sights. Maybe you were just a little plaything to them, nothing more than an amusing pet, but they screwed up. Six of them made pacts with you, and the human with their pact mark controls said demon, right? You planned to find out soon enough. You started ripping into Belphie again, telling him off once more, reminding him exactly how it felt to die and then to see your dead body, without thinking you had started taking steps towards him and for every step you took forward he took one back. You could see the fear behind his eyes, tears still rolling down his cheeks and body continuing to shake. All these things were feeding something inside you, the arrogant demon who had stolen a part of you was now trembling in front of you for whatever reason. Before you knew it you had him trapped, his back pressed against the wall, Belphie was out of steps to take but you continued forward leaving a very small space between you.

“Admit that this is all for her. Admit that you don’t care about what I think of you!”

“It isn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”

He didn’t need an answer to that, and you knew it, so instead you decided to give into his little act.

“You want my forgiveness?”, you leaned in and your voice deepened “Then beg for it!”

You were almost positive you hadn’t used your pact on him, but you had to think hard on it with how quickly Belphegor dropped to his knees and began sobbing in desperation. He was begging and pleading for your forgiveness, his crying became more violent, the tears fell quickly off his face with a few trailing down his neck occasionally, his voice cracking with every plea. You knew this kind of crying all too well, the kind of cry you let out after a major heartbreak or betrayal; after all you had been in this same position yourself after the incident, the only difference being your face had been pressed into a pillow to quiet the screams and sobs. Nobody would fake this kind of crying, why would they want to? It was far too draining and always left you with a headache afterwards, which meant Belphie actually was trying to apologize. This time you did feel sorry for him, sorry that he had exposed this side of him to you. Now you knew he could be broken, you knew you had the power to bring him to his knees even without the pact. He had called you a ‘weak and pathetic human’ back then but who was the weak, pathetic bitch now?

“I-I’ll do whatever i-it takes to make this up to y-you, I-I’ll do anythi-ing!” He was gasping for air with every word it seemed, truly a pitiful thing to watch. You suddenly got an awful and twisted idea as you tilted your head slightly, you felt a small smile crawl onto your face and you softened your eyes.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I know you will”, you leaned down so that your upper half was looming over his still trembling body. You took his face in your right hand, thumb wiping away tears on one cheek and your fingers pressing gently into the other, you made sure his eyes were locked on yours. “I’ll make sure of that.”

He wanted to make it up to you so badly? He wanted to be your friend? To be as close to you as his brothers were? Fine. But you were going to make him work for it and you’d make sure he worked hard for it too. He’d soon learn who he belonged to. After all, he had wanted the pact between you two, he had asked you to make him yours, so that's exactly what you would do.

“Do you understand?” Your voice was stern and your gaze showed no mercy. Belphie’s voice was shaky and his bottom lip started to quiver but he nodded quickly.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?” you tightened your grip on his face slightly.

“Yes, M-master.”

me as a writer

also a moment of silence for female characters who get a lot of shit but would be adored if they were male