This Is The Sequel To No Shadow To Run Away From.

Avenge the Living, Heal the Dead

New chapter:

Shi Qingxuan finds himself in an unfamiliar place and in the care of the same woman that came to the beggars' temple.

Both. I'm gonna do both when I finally write my 3zun fic.

Sometimes you have to write a piece that tears apart Jin Guangyao at the seems to see what he’s really made of. For better Nieyao

After watching CQL, I feel the need to write a fanfic. Because of course I do. Now I just need to finish my current project and then read the books.

Until I have, my ability to predict what it'll be like is limited, but I do know that it'll be a Xiyao fic. I know from my friend that things end a bit differently in the books, but I don't know how. She thinks I can work with it. 😅 She did not word this in a promising manner.

Oh, and there is one more thing. Jin Guangyao is going to have a huge, HUGE praise kink. I'm prepared to die on that hill.

The title might be 'No Bonds Can Hold Me', but that might very well change.

Oh and the friend I mentioned is the same one who asked me to write beefleaf. There is a tendency there, but this time no persuasion was necessary.

Avenge the Living, Heal the Dead

New Chapter:

The investigation has been crudely planned, but it leads ... well, somewhere. How to get back from wherever that is is a different question entirely.

CBR

10 Best BL Anime Couples, Ranked

Couples like Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish and No. 6's Nezumi and Shion showcase the best examples of LGBTQ+ relationships in anime.

Look who's first! Come on, they deserve more than 12 episodes at a time where they couldn't even show their kiss without an arm getting in the way.

Mini-fic or Prologue - who knows?!

Okay, I have drafted a prologue for the Xiyao fic I threatened earlier today. My friend likes it, so I took a second glance at it, smoothed out a few wrinkles, and now I'm throwing it here.

I have no idea if this can function because I have yet to read the books, so I can't tell for certain if I will use it all - and if I do, it might not be the prologue so much as part of a chapter, all of that is written in the stars. But since Ao3 doesn't allow placeholders (nor should it) and I don't know when I get to write the whole thing (although that I will write it certain), I'll at least put this fragment of questionable permanence here for the time being. I will announce when I post the actual fic to Ao3.

No Bonds Can Hold Me

‘Maintain your own discipline. Train your body and your mind. Store your inner wisdom deeply.’

Second nature. All of this was second nature to a man who had lived by these rules his entire life. Now discipline eluded him, his mind refused to focus on what mattered, and his inner wisdom was torn to shreds. There was almost nothing left of the man he had been … before. And if there was nothing left, what was the point of him? ‘Do not act impulsively.’ That rule had saved his life several times over recently. To what end? He had broken so many others: ‘Do not grieve in excess. Do not bully the weak. Do not associate with evil.’

Am I the evil? The voice that existed in his thoughts only perforated his meagre attempt at meditation again, stripping away another layer of his strength.

Seclusion had done nothing to erase the guilt and the pain and the grief, to silence this voice. It lived in his heart as constantly as its beating. It hadn’t helped compose his mind, hadn’t let him accept that what was done was done. Every time he started out asking himself, ‘How could I have acted any differently?’ the question quickly degraded into the much simpler and much more destructive, ‘How could I?!’ The blood on his hands and clothes was long gone, but he could still feel it sticking to his skin any time his eyes closed, could smell its cloying scent, so much, so much of it.

‘Be gentle and content in adversity.’

Slowly, Lan Xichen opened his eyes. It was, indeed, done, and yet he knew there was one path not yet taken. ‘Do not act impulsively. Do not fall to evil.’ But was an act he had chewed over time and time again for more hours than he could count impulsive? Was saving a soul evil?

He hadn’t allowed himself those thoughts at first, but now that he did, he felt calmer. ‘Have a strong will and anything can be achieved.’ His path was laid out before him and he would walk it openly and with determination. He needed help, and he wasn’t afraid to ask for it. Beg for it, if he had to.

‘Don’t be unreasonable.’ What was one more rule broken anyway?

The voice in his head that kept repeating his name like a broken mantra could only be assuaged by returning it to the real world. It was his fault that it had been silenced, so it had to be him that did all he could to restore it. (‘Uphold the value of justice.’) And if that proved impossible, he should earnestly consider following it into oblivion, the way he had been prepared to.

Lan Xichen stepped out into the darkness. (‘Venturing out at night is prohibited.’) He had tried to silence the call that only he could hear, but now he welcomed it, let it guide his steps and fuel his spirit. Lan Xichen, Lan Xichen … ‘Yes,’ he thought, conscious of the cool air surrounding him and the light breeze rustling his robes, ‘I still hear you. I’m not grieving for you. I’m coming for you.’

reblog with one creative goal that you would like to pursue in 2025 in the tags

it doesn’t have to be ‘big’ and there is no pressure to complete said goal. but i’d love to hear from writers, artists, performers, academics, designers, coders, and so on! 🤍

if it’s a creative outlet, it’s included. let’s inspire each other ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Redemption by Proxy

When my best friend informed me what the Dark Urge in Baldur's Gate 3 is, my brain screamed, SUIKOTSU.

Mind you, my brain defaults to the Band of Seven more than I like to admit, because sue me, but I love almost all of them. (Mukotsu can die in a fire and I have no attachment to Kyoukotsu because we meet him for all of five minutes, but I honestly love the rest of them, all of them, as of late.)

When I first watched Inuyasha, I fell for the poor unfortunate soul but I understood he had to die. I was about 20 and never thought beyond this.

Cue the pandemic, and I binged Inuyasha for the first time after way back when. Of course I still loved Suikotsu, but I also sort of started liking Kikyou and how she grows. From someone who has learned (been told and adapted to that logic) that she cannot live among humans to someone who sees that ... she could? Because this guy, this dead guy, he has no idea he's a corpse, but he's here, helping, for no reward. Purest, softest, altruism, the way she offered before being ousted by an overzealous monk. And when later, he has a clear moment and begs for death, she wants to save him instead.

Of course, she can't. Not because Jakotsu is faster. Because in the Middle Ages there is no helping a man with severs dissociative PTSD. And of course, because the only thing keeping him and her alive is a jewel shard they won't be able to hold on to. But adult me thought, please just let them leave. Let them go away, far away out of Naraku's reach and just find peace somewhere together, giving all the love and warmth they have to offer to poor people with no-one else bothered to help them. It was never an option, but oh how I wanted that.

And along comes BG3 and when halfway through my first run I understood what the Dark Urge is and what Shadowheart is, I knew I can give them exactly that arc through those proxies. I have no idea what the Dark Urge is exactly, I only started a couple of days ago. The casualty I couldn't avoid so far was a squirrel, and I fear this will get a lot worse before it gets better. But I'll keep resisting and trying to make this work. I know the redemption is possible and I'll fight tooth and claw for it.

This is him, by the way. I picked a Drow over a human, but apart from that, I think the visuals check out.

If anyone ever wonders why I left the Abramamitic religions behind me in favour of some weird form agnostic omnism with strong pagan leanings, read the answers to that one. So much earnestness for what can't be proven, so much fervour for old story books. Oh boy. With someone who hasn't done this entire Catholic thing any more for almost two decades, this is bizarre.

I mean. I did consider myself Catholic, I even considered joining a convent, but it NEVER occurred to me to call pagans satanic or any such things. This is the kind of attitude that turned me off the whole thing. (Apart from the bits that say 'I am the only god' and 'I am jealous of all the other gods that TOOOOTALLY don't exist' thing that makes ZERO sense and is toxic af. I don't want anything to do with jealous people, human or otherwise, they can stay the hell away from me. I ain't doing this.)

That the person in question is not even Christian doesn't matter. All three are the same thing to me. Same sky daddy, same arbitrary rules that made some sense back in the day and none now, same fervour in the followers that gobble up what they're fed by the higher-ups in their particular brand of the 'I love you but if you step a toe out of line I'll destroy you even beyond death' cult. They were when I liked them and they are when I'm glad to be out.

Boy. I really don't like them any more it seems.

Edit: I mean, it's poetic, in a way. I used to wear a gold chain with a small cross, Star of David, and crescent to signify that they have the same value and worth, and then I started, little by little, to resent all three. That process took many years. And then, one day, my chain broke. I was really sad and decided to have it fixed. I noticed in time and didn't lose any of the pendants. I never had it fixed. I know now I never will. The broken chain is a symbol in itself. I am lost to them and they are to me.

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

We successfully rescued a tiefling child from harpies ...

... recruited the Blade of Frontiers ...

... and got abducted by a devil.

We also freed Sazza successfully,

... adopted a dog ...

... and found Karlach!

Then, wisely, we went after those paladins she's after. Those are level 5. I'm level 3. BUT ... it worked out. Maybe using a guide would spare me my nerves.

We also got very poisoned in the cellar afterwards (tends to happen when the person who can disarm traps is staying home), but we've grabbed all we could carry and ... that will have to do for today.