Day Four Without Antipsychotics. No Mood Major Mood Swings. No Hallucinations. No Delusions. No Cognitive

I so desperately wish for official Matt art. Like I want him to be in the same style as the manga covers and to just see him like anywhere! Yeah there’s the game sprites and I adore them with all my heart but I want official Matt art that isn’t just him in the manga panels or his face in the anime like that picture of him without his goggles. I need more content of this man.

All hail Mihael Keehl, the father of cunt

When your mental state is not being able to decide between doing heroin and crying about Matt & Mello

Tobina... toe.. bean.. a...

death note memes I made :3 I have like 20 more

There’s not enough L being a jerk in fanfic. Everyone seems to forget he’s a self-absorbed, self-interested, passive aggressive asshole that doesn’t give a fuck about boundaries or what other people think of him.

reupload because tumblr hates me and i hate tumblr grrrr grrrrr why are u so mean to me grrrrrrr ( they’re flirting )

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the popularity of Matt as a character, which is something that is met with a lot of ??? by those in the fandom who aren’t matt/mello shippers or generally don’t like the second arc of DN (which is… reasonable in and of itself but not something I’m gonna get into atm). And I think that most of the Matt love comes from an initial love of/identification with Mello. Mello on his own is kind of a tough sell - he’s a vain, selfish, manipulative, murdering asshole - he’s insecure, gaudy, self-loathing, and can’t control his emotions. Which, like other than the murder part, there’s a lot going on here to see myself in, whether I want to or not. And that’s where Matt comes in.

Ohba made Matt specifically to give someone for Mello to bounce dialogue off of, and though I’m sure this was done as a throw-away thing, Matt as a sounding board for Mello as a character is something that extends into fandom as well. I’d say that it was that tiny act of establishing Matt as a Wammy’s kid in HtR13 that really did it though, as it establishes a past between the two and mobilizes a dozen drawable conclusions about their relationship. Suddenly we have this character who canonically knows Mello from childhood, and thus can be understood to readily know what a crap person Mello is, but chooses to be a part of Mello’s life/weirdo anti-kira operation even after all these years. Is this loyalty? Friendship? Love? Boredom? Who is this ride-or-die kid in a stupid furry vest?? Whatever way you spin it, Matt is a character who puts up with Mello and his bullshit, and coupled with the blank slate of knowing literally nothing else about him, he’s the perfect projection ground for wish fulfillment/validation. Mello represents a lot aspects we hate about ourselves (don’t even get me started on the queer coding) but Matt redeems him. Matt as established in fanon (and squint-and-you’ll-miss-it in canon) says you’re still lovable! You are worth sticking by and coming home to! Mello’s kind of scary to identify so fiercely with but Matt makes it safer and softer and draws the poison from it.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

born to be silly :333 forced to be on antipsychotics