People : Happy Gandhi Jaya-

the whole concept of karma is rooted in casteist beliefs - getting what you deserve? being born into a particular style of life because of the actions of your previous life? suffering or being privileged in the life you have at present because of the actions of your ancestors/as a consequence of the actions of your previous life? all of the above = used to perpetuate casteism. The whole foundation of the caste system stands on this concept, of being born into a particular caste because of what you did in your previous life(-ves). Apart from it being casteist, I personally, don't agree with any of this. People do not get what they deserve (don't read it using a cynical tone, I'm using a matter of fact tone); a small child who has a chronic illness that's sure to result in death has not warranted it, no matter what they must or must not have done in their so called past life - that is, if you believe in such a concept - warrants such a form of suffering; a person who has been or is being abused does not deserve it, again, same reasoning; a horrible person who gets to get away with all the horrible things they've done don't deserve that, but it still happens; a person having a debilitating illness hinders who're their supposed to be isn't what they deserve; people being discriminated against for being a certain way, being born a certain way or whatever isn't because of their previous life ka actions or because they somehow deserve it; there are people who're doing good in life even though they've done bad actions and vice versa, there are people who did bad™ things which had bad consequences with good intentions, there are people who've done good their entire life but who still suffer, who's to say who deserves what, who's to say who deserves something because they must've been bad in their previous life, what gives an outsider the right to judge someone this way; your child being a "troublemaker" (that's a censored term BTW) isn't because you did something bad in your previous life and this is your fate now - I don't even want to begin to point out everything's that wrong and insensitive and messed up about that; you having a privileged life, being born into a family that's privileged, isn't because your ancestors did something great or worked harder than the ancestors of a family which is suffering (socially/economically, whichever), a family which isn't as privileged as yours - that's a very problematic thing to say, not only because of how ignorant and doused in privilege it is, but also because of how casteist it is. It sounds holier than thou, as if what your ancestors did was morally superior, in any way superior, and that the other person's marginalisation is because their ancestors weren't good enough, didn't do enough - you being born into a good, comfortable home was because your ancestors were somehow better than that person's, who's now suffering in life. My grandfather has used this argument so many times to point out the why to which I was born into the family I was born into and not into a family like our neighbor's, who aren't as privileged or well-to-do as we are, apparently it's because they all worked harder and did their "duties" (another term which pisses the fuck out of me) properly and so I was also gifted with this life, wtfffffff. Karma isn't simply tit for tat, there's much more to it - this concept implies that what people get in life is what they asked for through their actions (karma also refers to all your actions in your previous being accumulated and you having to face the consequence or the fruits of it in your following lives) which is fucking victim blame-y, a scapegoat and I do not stand by it. It could offer solace to people - the whole concept, I mean - when something bad's been done to them, I understand that, but that's a personal 'I want to feel good, so I'll believe in this' thing, and that's upto you, but on a wider scale, I'm not at all comfortable with people saying that 'karma' is the reason for what happens to people in life. It honestly disgusts me.

things allies can do this pride month to show their support instead of just "happy pride" posts/messages :

casually mention queer stuff around children instead of censoring it.

make your language more inclusive.

stop perpetuating gender essentialism. especially when it comes to periods, sex and so on (eg. "things only women will understand about periods" / "all men are sexual, it's in their nature" etcetc are huge ass no no's).

normalise asexuality and aromanticism - stop placing so much emphasis on "finding the perfect partner", toxic monogamy culture, placing romantic relationships highest on a relationship hierarchy, making sex out to be a "natural need" that no human can resist etcetc.

watch media/read books or works/listen to music featuring queer characters or by queer people.

spread awareness and call in people when you witness them being queerphobic, exclusionary or ignorant; yes, even your family.

support queer activism and activists.

if women's day is more than just "appreciate and respect your sister/mother/daughter", pride month is more than just acceptance for a few loved ones who're queer (however important that may be).

TW SELF HARM

My therapist suggested that I draw lines on my thigh with red sketch pen whenever I feel like self harming, and yesterday I tried that and it worked yayyy (only after I self harmed a bit and then remembered it tho)

I'm on the arospec and yesterday I had dream about my best friend and I being in a relationship and it brought me pure joy and delight in the dream so much so that I felt it after I woke up and i have never before thought of us that way and now I'm ajsjsjsk- so confused

please :)) stop :)) sexualising :)) my :)) body :))

do adults even understand that when they tell a teenager to stop wearing sleeveless tops and short shorts, they're inadvertently sexualising their body? do they realise that when they tell a teenager to close their legs while sitting and dress decently, they're sexualising their body? do they realise that telling a teenager that they can't wear what they're comfortable with even at home, they're making it an unsafe space for them? do they realise that telling a teenager that if or when people come over and see them in those clothes, or if they step out of the door and their neighbours look into their house and see them wearing those clothes, they'll think it's shameful and indecent, hence they should stop wearing such clothes, they're thus giving more importance to other people, and placing the responsibility of not being viewed sexually on the teen? do they realise that when you tell your kid that now she's above 18 (19), she needs to understand all this, they're sexualising her body? huh?????? huhhhhh????????

ALSO, if I feel good enough in my body to wear sleeveless tops with large holes, and short shorts, then why do you care??! it's my fucking body, not yours. if you feel uncomfortable with me wearing such clothes then stop fucking looking at my with such a messed up mindset, stop regarding my body as a sexual entity. nothing is inherently sexual except for sex, get that through your fucking head. not how you keep yours legs, not what you wear, not even the kink community is sexual unless the specific acts are sexual. nudity isn't inherently sexual either. it's all about personal choice and consent and I've internalised this so much, so well, that even the slightest remark which is narrow-minded or conservative pisses me off. urgh.

I feel so detached from people, my friends mostly, as if we don't have a connection anymore, as if they're just people I talk to - chat with, people behind a screen. They don't feel real. People don't feel real, my family included. I don't feel that attachment and I don't know what's wrong with me.

Moreover, when I send something and I don't get an immediate response, or even after a while, I forget about it. It's like we keep sending stuff to each other, but there's no emotional connection. As if that line has snapped.

I don't miss them with an ache in my chest, I don't miss them at all - anyway. I don't feel anything properly. I don't feel like my family is *family*, you know? That sense of being 'yours', I don't feel that with most people in my family. I don't feel like these connections are ***real***, I don't know how to explain it, I just can't feel emotions properly, I can't feel that my relationships are real, as in existing in reality (NOT real as in deep or meaningful) - everything just exists in the surface and I just want my relationships to be real as in deep and meaningful, where I feel like we have something.

Sleep schedule - when talking to therapist about it - I said she knows she said I'm getting enough sleep so okay - your therapist is stupid then - good thing she's not yours then - proper vitamin d what's the point of great mental health 40 years from now when your body can't absorb stuff properly - many people share my sleep schedule

I DON'T CARE I DON'T FUCKING CARE I DON'T FUCKING KNOW IF I'LL BE ALIVE IN 40 YEARS

I've been sleeping earlier but now that he's telling me to it's like added pressure and I'm not gonna, like fuck, why can't people just leave me alone. It's like he was waiting till he could finally switch to advjcing me

I feel so lonely :)

TW : MENTION OF SUICIDE

Do you also conjure up scenarios of you dying of suicide in multiple different ways and draw out how you're going to inform people and how they're going to react/feel and basically draw out a whole ass novel up in your head when you're feeling down and then once the story's done up in there, feel better and go live life monotonously like before the tiny breakdown or do you have good mental health?

my bpd is acting up with my fucking kitten and I'm so fucking done with it.

I found a baby kitten Yada Yada, took care of it, gave it love and affection, my grandma gave it food then I had to leave to my dad's house and the kitty grew closer to her and now she's closer with her than with me and I'm unconsciously distancing myself from my fucking kitten as a self defense mechanism cause she doesn't need me anymore and she loves other people more and wonderful