Viper's Wardrobe Is Largely Composed Of Twenty Identical Black Turtlenecks.

just finished playing doki doki literature club.

gonna need a sec guys. maybe a few years of therapy or something.

Credit to the idea goes to @hvstias !

South Asian valorant agent when?

It's been almost two years. rito all these new agents are also cool but please idk if I can wait much longer

taking a little break from mermay and indulging in cypher brainrot

I just think he’s neat

caught in a dangerous web...

astra regularly recruits cypher to help her bully the shit out of chamber in nonstop french she told me so herself

Valorant Headcanons

Cypher falls asleep in random places all the time. He doesn’t mean to, it’s a result of like, never sleeping, but he can just be sitting on the couch tinkering away when BAM - asleep. (The other agents usually leave him alone and turn off the lights. Sometimes KJ will put a blanket over him bc god knows he needs some good rest)

Brimstone tries to use gen z phrases to relate to the younger agents but fails miserably. Once, he misinterpreted “thicc” and said it about almost everything before the context was VERY WRONG and Phoenix made him stop. (this is totally not based off my dad doing this exact same thing for months, until he called my brother thicc and we made him stop)

KJ collects coffee cups (based off her lab in the riotxarcane game)

Phoenix and Yoru have game nights, which usually ends in a LOT of arguing. The other agents place bets on who will start yelling first (it’s usually Phoenix)

When the other agents are running low on things, Cypher will buy it for them and leave it somewhere. Like a new soldering iron for KJ, new paints for Raze, etc. He never says it’s him, nor accepts any thank you’s but the others can definitely tell.

Raze’s room is painted wall to wall with art, like how Rapunzel painted the tower.

Yoru likes to tp onto the roof and just sit up there

Raze is NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER allowed to cook. She once nearly burned the place down, a job that’s supposed to be their resident fire radiant’s.

Skye keeps a garden that the other agents sometimes hang out in when they have free time

The younger agents pestered Brimstone to get a pool installed (purely for exercise purposes ofc). Everyone has been in it at least once, except Omen and Cypher. Cypher maintains that the day he gets in the pool is the day the world ends. (And that if anybody pushes him in, he’ll leak their search history)

Sage has a black cat named Moon

Omen knit a sweater for Sage and she wears it when it’s cold

Day 17 - Sage from Valorant

(Now I am strong enough for us all.)

Viper is Batman

Batman is, in his own words, a rich kid with lots, lots of problems. He's often lonely because of the walls that he made by the security of the ones that he loves. And, believe me, Batman is a person who loves too much. He feels pain because of it. He got traumatized and fights everyday for people don't suffer like him. And, when he can't fight the others' battles, he truly helps these people in their battles.

This is my romantic view of Batman. Now, being realistic, this man is a dick.

Like, Bruce, you're rich, pay for some therapy. Spanking criminals saying that it's for justice isn't a way to solve your problems and the problems of the world. I bet that the biggest issue in Gotham is Bruce Wayne's richness. And, you won't justify yourself by training kids to be vigilantes/assassins. I mean, I know that Bruce never wanted the Robins ended like him but shiiiit boy. Look what you did with Jason.

Now that I showed my ignorant opinion about Batman, let's talk about Viper.

Her "therapy" is inflict pain in others. Like, playing with Viper is even scary since she's with that terrify voice saying something like "I want to see you craw". Her ability is make people suffocate till death or make them dissolve. Ma'am, calm down.

Anyway, my point is, Viper is a dick too.

She's as traumatized and lonely as Batman. And, even if she's a damn sadic bitch, she cares about the younger agents. I don't think that the dialogue between her and Brim is just a tired Viper.

(Viper: "Brimstone, we really need to put an age floor on Valorant. I can't take this... youth"

Brim: "They're the future, Sabine! You know you care about them.")

Yes, she cares. Damn, how she cares. They are young and dumb. They should be just young and dumb, not soldiers. I think Viper can be really overprotective with the younger agents, even if she doesn't know how to demonstrate this. She doesn't want to anyone else feel what she feels everyday.

She's a cinnamon roll. She even bet with Brimstone that her kids won't die in battle.

Yet, Viper's still a dick. Big one. Never forget this.

All this to say, love to Viper and Batman please. They need true therapy and a hug.

Based off something I actually said to my friends in a match. We were all initiators, and I was playing Breach.