🌶️ SC // @washsins ( russell shaw )
she didn’t think. she couldn’t think. by the time she had crossed the threshold past his door, gloria’s hands were shaking. not from fear, not from the cold, but from something hungrier, meaner. something she couldn’t scrape out of her chest, no matter how hard she tried. it had been gnawing at her for days, weeks maybe. that hollow, bone-deep need that curled under her skin and made her feel too tight, too human, too breakable. heart hammering against her ribs, adrenaline stabbing at the base of her skull the way it used to before firefights.
only this was worse; this was personal.
gloria doesn't give russell a second to breathe or contemplate the brokenness she carried in. she was already on him, grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him down to meet her mouth. it was desperate, waking up the part of her soul that had been warped into something caustic and fractured. her teeth caught on his lip, fingers yanking at the fabric over his chest like she could tear her need out by force if she just clawed hard enough. she needed someone real. someone solid, someone that could pin her down when the world spun out and she couldn’t catch her breath. ❛ please. ❜ gloria heard herself say it like a disembodied entity haunting the room. a hoarse whisper, nearly unrecognizable. she hated the sound of it, the crack in her own voice, but she needed him more than she needed pride right now.
Breeding Kink?
WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME IS ....HELLLLLOOO?..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................yeah though.
her hand doesn’t move. it stays there, over his chest, over the heat of a heart still BEATING, even if it feels like it’s barely holding on. her fingers curl a little, as though she could press through flesh and bone and cradle it in her palm with tenderness. ❛ what am i without my hypocrisy? ❜ her smile is world-weary, a life lived before she ever stepped foot into the emergency department. one she couldn't shake from her bones or broken soul. just the same, she couldn't shake off obligations, duty, her purpose in this world. ❛ i know we do, trust me on that — ❜ a pause to relinquish touch, if only to toy with the pocket of his hoodie. ❛ i'm just asking for a day. the details of which i will be forcing you to relax and in turn i will relax so it's mutually beneficial. ❜
tired eyes flick to the hand on his chest like it's an open wound. the warmth of it hurts and sears his skin, in the way that softness does when you're starving for it. he can't afford to vanish. too many people need him functioning, unflinching. to unravel is not an option, not even at the seams. “ have you ever thought about taking your own advice? ” he offers a small grin before shaking his head. “ people like us. we belong here. ” they couldn't walk away if they wanted to.
✱˚。⋆ ↪ 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 . ( a collection of dialogue prompts centered around saying "please". feel free to modify phrasing as desired. )
please just be honest with me.
oh, please explain how this is my fault.
please don't look at me like that.
please, let's not do this here.
for once, could you please stop pretending?
please just kiss me, i can't stand it.
please don't walk away from this.
all you have to do is say please.
please, i dare you to try and stop me.
please don't tell anyone i said that.
i said please, so technically you have to say yes.
please tell me you brought snacks.
please don't take this the wrong way.
please, i've waited so long to hear you say it.
i said i'm fine, please just drop it.
please don't lie just to make me feel better.
please don't judge me for what i'm about to do.
please just let me help you.
if you love me, say it. please.
just stay here with me all day. pleaase?
please don't ruin this for me.
please just leave me out of it.
tell me you love me ... please.
can you please slow down?
please tell me there's still a chance.
can you please just get some sleep?
please, i don't want to lose you again.
i'm not asking– i'm begging you. please.
please don't make fun of me.
i want you to leave. please leave right now.
please, it's nothing.
i don't like to beg, but... please.
pleaase? i promise it'll be fun.
tell me it's a lie. please.
come on, please? just this once?
please don't jump to assumptions.
please, [ name ], just stay here.
you promised ... please.
please. i need you to trust me.
please don't go.
i know i don't deserve it, but please forgive me.
please, let me fix this.
did i hear a 'please' in there somewhere?
please. one more minute, that's all i'm asking.
oh please, as if you've never done it.
don't ask me to choose. please.
please don't tell them where i am.
saying 'please' over and over won't change my mind.
please? ... pretty please?
please don't make me beg.
please tell me i'm wrong.
can you please give me a hand with this?
need someone who’s violently possessive over me right now or i’m gonna die
DR. MALIK AMARI STATUS: DECEASED. KEY NOTES: she wears a lot of his things; more specifically, a pair of his sunglasses and a braided leather bracelet. there are many things of his she keeps as mementos ( an bottle of his cologne she can't bring herself to smell, a few journals ) but most was given back to his family. gloria went through a lot of therapy to come to terms with and accept her grief. While Malik is someone she will carry forever, it does not keep her from giving all of herself to loving someone else. she does not bear his loss as a punishment for anyone who loves her. she will never make a single comparison or hold anyone to the standards set by malik. he is a component of her dedication to practice and a beautiful piece of her.
Gloria met Malik through her sister-in-law ( cat ), as he was part of her graduating class. his field of study was general surgery, but he changed his specialty to pediatric surgery, reflecting his character and the depths of a very caring, poetic heart. it was a slow start, but no less significant.
gloria was fresh out of her honourable discharge as a combat medic, nursing internal and external wounds as she began medical school, and he was at the start of his residency. their first conversation was of poetry wherein he teased her accent when she spoke arabic, and she shot back that his spanish could use some work. malik, in his smooth matter of existence, used this as a segway to pursue her because they would help one another speak the respective languages better. gloria agreed and from there, malik taught her that love could be patient, it could be gentle, but no less passionate.
he cradled her heartache and gave it a safe place to begin mending. they were living together within eight months of dating. he had proposed after a year and a half but they made the promise to wait until she began her residency to get married. nearly four years together, a home, a vast collection of records, literature, travel and trinkets.
malik completed his residency and was offered a position in New York, but he would accept it only after another tour with Doctors Without Borders. he and gloria had spent two summers volunteering. it was not out of the norm, not out of character for either. important for the proud son of a Palestinian mother to offer all he could back to what she had sacrificed. there were children around the world wrapped up in chaos beyond their control. malik went, gloria had stayed behind to begin her residency and their wedding date was reserved for his return.
malik never came home. he, along with several other practitioners, nurses and medics, were killed or injured by way of American-made bombs dropped in Syria. gloria would carry the rest of her residency in silent greif, detached from everyone around her to focus on her job, focus on others, focus on every other person outside of herself.
I’m not even sure her ass makes up for the collective amount of trauma and baggage anymore…her head game does though.
she doesn't waste another glance on the brewing storm. she'd spent enough years tending the aftermath of ego; split lips, shattered knuckles, the kind of hurt that clings long after the blood dries. the pressure built from years of silence and pushing war down your throat because it's not man enough to admit it's there. so the marines punch the Green Berets and the SEALS knock both of them to the ground. on and on, like all traditions of broken systems and the bodies they leave behind. it’s an old but familiar ache now, a quiet grief for how easily people throw themselves into ruin, knowing there's nothing she could do to stop it.
❛ smart. ❜ once, she might have stayed. might have tilted her chin up and thrown herself into the fray out of pride or stubbornness, to prove she could survive. it's almost worse knowing she can. worse, even that she might have tried to if she had felt the spark of violence gather close enough to the surface. gloria was grateful for lizzie's presence. a tether to the femininity the former combat medic nurtures within herself as though it might undo every terrible act.
❛ not just that, i have a bottle of zacapa if you think you can handle it. ❜ it's a gentle nudge of words, limbs slipping into her jacket, purse tucked high beneath her arm. gloria bids the rabble behind, leading out the door.
lizzie dons a mask of careful ambivalence, holding the brewing fight in her peripheral as her sights languidly cycle: her present company, her empty glass, the fine lace of condensation wound along its surface. a tattered slice of lime sits at the bottom, sprawled over half-melted ice. she prods at it with the end of her straw, quietly indignant of the acuteness of her awareness so deep into the night, but she avoids the bartender’s eye. tries to stifle the way she stiffens as egos swell, boisterous voices teasing the bounds of violence. she knows this game. could, theoretically, understand its basest appeal: the thrill of a fight projected. life rendered in adrenaline bursts and broken skin. finds herself, suddenly, inwardly, grateful gloria doesn’t seem to share in this interest.
“not much of a gambler.” only in the company she keeps, if murmurs were to be believed— diluting their business to the simple whim of gangsters and murderers. as if she were any better. but, stealing another glance over her shoulder, lips pursing in careful assessment, lizzie inclined to agree. with a little over a foot of difference between them, they weren’t exactly entering on even odds.
“yeah?” she smiles at @medicbled's choice of word, obnoxious, shouldering her purse in silent acceptance.
can you please just get some sleep? @rbnvtch
she’s still in scrubs, dried blood at the cuff, someone else's because it always is. she hasn’t even sat down yet, like the act of resting might SHATTER the fragile balance she’s maintaining even in her own home. ❛ sleep feels like quitting. ❜ there’s no bite to it, just the quiet confession of someone who’s been running on adrenaline and habit for too long. someone who learned long ago that stillness invites the memories to catch up. the ones she couldn't stitch shut, carried from battlefields and in broken bodies she couldn’t save.
in her eyes, behind the exhaustion is a flicker of guilt because it matters to him that she rests, and that’s almost harder to carry than fatigue. she doesn't know how to say what she wants. doesn't know how to take without giving everything she has right back. she shifts her weight, fingers brushing the back of her neck like she’s trying to rub out something deeper than muscle tension. then, quietly, like surrender with a ragged edge, ❛ stay. ❜ almost like a plea.
❝ you’re gonna lose a finger if you don’t get outta my sight right now. ❞ // frank @weaponid
of course, frank would show up like this. LIKE A THREAT, like a memory she hadn’t invited but couldn’t forget. gloria doesn't flinch, she never does. not for violence, not for men like frank, and certainly not for words spat like warning shots. but still, there’s a shift in posture, a tension strung too tightly in her spine, her jaw locked up. the man was smart enough, at least reading the tone far from idle in the promise of action. he walked off with a bruised ego and utterance of a half-assed apology in his wake. gloria doesn't watch him go; her eyes are on frank. ❛ fuck sakes, frank, you don't get to do that! ❜
her palm is firm, flat against his chest and pushing back on the immovable force. she'd gotten good jabs in before, but there was no need to cast a larger spotlight on them. and she presses into that rage humming inside him, steps in rhythm and away from prying eyes and forming bodies around the commotion. the part of herself that still aches for him wrestles with the anger towards that feeling. past bone and marrow, cutting into her dna and whatever the empty sky deemed sufficient for a soul. it all stirs beneath her ribcage, something that wants to remember instead of survive on scraps. ❛ you can't threaten everyone that breathes near me, you don't have that kind of privilege. ❜
Leon’s grabbing her by the jaw |: @washsins
heat curls under her skin, violence biting the edges, like a spark in the air before a storm breaks. his hand was on her, rough and anticipated, fingers clamping around her jaw and tilting her head up like she was something he owned. that's what it was; an ache to be wanted for more than the war in her veins. consumed in a way that suffocates every haunting at her heels. lip curled before her brain could catch up. a smile, slow and cutting, almost sweet in the right light, and he knew better. but the moon cast a shadow, held a spotlight on her. the stuttering of lifted hips interrupted their rhythm; leon catches her before she can torment any further. ❛ did i even stand a chance? ❜ a ragged exhale, amusement flushed as a glow on her cheeks. hand dancing across his chest wraps around his wrist, honey eyes fixated and still taunting in a silent dare. her head tilts, guiding to her throat and pressing into calluses. ❛ you have the stamina for it, don't you? or is age catching up? ❜