Majoringinfanfiction - Just A Nerd

Why the fuck did this one come up?

No, no, no, Nimirylov. Stop. Please.

Nimirylov, how have you been doing after Ford's disappearance? Have you struggled adjusting to becoming a single parent?

(I hope you don't mind the two questions. You can only answer one if it's easier.)

Thank you for your deep questions. They are not something I would normally think about, so I'll answer to the best of my ability.

Ford is dead. That's what I have to keep reminding myself. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. I know he's not coming back, so even if he isn't officially dead, he's dead. I can't give myself, or Penni, any false hope that he'd return to us.

So Ford is dead. That's what I've told everyone, and if they believe it, then I can make myself believe it. I can handle the stages of the grief for someone who's dead. It's so much harder to mourn for someone living.

Other than trying to make myself believe that, I don't think I'm struggling at all. After all, I can't struggle. I don't have the time for it. Luckily, I've been given less work to do lately (they didn't say that, but I can tell), which means I can focus on Penni more.

Becoming a single parent is a struggle in its own right, of course, but I can't seem to focus on that. Nothing compares to the struggle of seeing how much Penni is suffering because of this. She's so young, too young. I have no idea what to do because this isn't a problem I can solve. No amount of comfort will ever bring her dad back for her. That's the real struggle.

I just wish I knew why Ford disappeared. My only lifeline is that I know he didn't do it by choice. His behaviour is always terribly obvious, and I would have known if he was planning to run away. That way, I could've stopped him... If only I knew why he'd disappeared...

Sincerely,

Prince Nimirylov.

Don't kill yourself, please.

If you’re suffering from depression and are looking for a sign to not go through with ending your life, this is it. This is the sign. We care.

If you see this on your dash, reblog it. You could save a life.

Literally been obsessed with @babyblankyerror Dr Pinington au for the past while. Anyways, I had too many thoughts about it to just send an ask to them, so I'm making a post instead.

I really want to do fanart for it at some point, but I just know it won't go well. I've failed at drawing Ford enough times to know I'll fail at drawing Stan. I have an idea, though, for a sketch I could do.

Anyways, I was just thinking about how if Stan and Ford's high school was able to do a dissection in science. Would Stan keep cool while doing it in school and be super excited inside? Or was dissecting and surgery something he only got excited about post lobotomy (since that seems to be canon for the au now). I just remember when I did a dissection in school, I was stimming the whole time. I still get a giddy feeling about dissection, and I don't even like blood. I just feel like the giddy feeling I get is also how Stan feels in the au.

Additionally, I was just imagining little Stan looking at pictures of human anatomy. Instead of drawing the comics he did in canon, all of his drawings have something to do with organs. I can't stop picturing him trying to get the organs looking as realistic as he can make them at his small age, being surrounded by little childish doodles.

Finally, when/if Ford tells Stan about Bill, dissecting Bill becomes like a fantasy for Stan. One because of everything Bill did to Ford, obviously, so it's semi-revenge. Two, and arguably more importantly, because he's a living two-dimensional triangle. Stan would love to cut him open and see how he works inside, especially his eye.

I've opened up the rabbit hole in my brain for Ford and Mabel interactions because of the comments on my last post with @sharksfrommars so now I need to write a little drabble with them for my au.

Drabble underneath more.

A sharp gasp made it's way to Ford's ears followed by a quick short "Oh my gosh". He looks up from what he'd been reading to be face to face with Mabel staring directly at him with bright, wide eyes.

A feeling of self-consciousness and worry makes it way through him. Had he done something odd without realising it? He's readjusting to human social norms and getting used to the ones in this time, after all.

"Oh my gosh! Grunkle Ford!" Mabel squeals, putting her hands on her cheeks and looking at him with pure, admittedly adorable, excitement.

Furrowing his brows, Ford tries to think what he could've done subconsciously that would've caused excitement, this much at that, within his great niece. Before he can even think of how to phrase his question to Mabel on what's excited her so, she continues to talk.

"Are you married, Grunkle Ford? Is that a wedding ring? That looks like a wedding ring. Why didn't you tell us you were married!?"

Oh. That was what it was. Ford felt a slight tightness build in his chest and rise to envelope his throat, too. It's only been a week since Ford had been torn from his home by the opening of the portal, something he doesn't think he could ever forgive Stanley for, but it feels like it's been a lifetime since he's seen his husband and daughter.

The pain feels almost unbearable at times, to accept that he'll never see his family again. He's been torn away from them and is probably as good as dead in their eyes.

But... this is Mabel who's asking about it. She's just an innocent, curious, young girl and for her he can steel himself to talk about his husband at least. Not his daughter, that pain cuts much too deep to talk about yet. Maybe that pain will cut too deep for forever.

Taking a deep breath, he looks down at the wedding ring that his husband had so lovingly made for him by hand, having wanted to do something human for Ford in the aquatic world they called home.

"His name, my husband that is, is Nimyrlov," He starts, looking into Mabel's eagerly excited eyes.

I agree. Absolutely love her and need more content of her. Please?

Emma-may doodles :3

Can I be honest? I hate that any post where it's purely platonic is labeled aroace. It completely removes the ability for friendship to happen. It gives me the same feeling as people who say that "boys and girls can't be friends". Acting as though deep platonic relationships can only be reached by being aroace removes the importance for everyone to have those deep platonic relationships and it actually encourages the narrative that romance is a must.

Enemies to "I accidentally came across you while you were vulnerable and scared and I'm not a total asshole so I tried to help you" to "accidental mutual uncovering of softer sides and vulnerabilities" to "I can't be mean to you anymore, not out of pity but because it would feel weird betraying that brief truce we had" to "Fine I'll make an effort to be nice to you now I guess" to "actually now that we're not actively hating each other you're not so bad I guess" to "i think we're friends but I'm not going to say that because I'm afraid you're not gonna feel the same way" to "oh you also think we're friends? Great" to lovers

Fun fact for the Washed Away au (or at least I found it fun); even though Ford is a lot angrier at Stan than he was in canon, they actually get along better.

Mostly because Ford didn't plan on kicking Stan out.

I'm not actually going to do anything with this idea, but it's been slightly infecting my brain.

My favourite one of the more mainstream gravity falls aus is Drifting Stars. So, combine that with my Washed Away au. Ford and Nimirylov are on their nice date when suddenly a portal opens up, and a human girl about their daughters age falls out. She's clearly not fine, passed out, and neither of them could even imagine just leaving her like that...

Mabel wakes up in a strange cottage. All she can remember is the flash of white after letting go of the button. Then walks in a weird aquatic man followed by someone who she mistakes for Stan at first.

I was almost called Madison, Maddie for short 💀

Also, for a time, when I was questioning my gender (I was undiagnosed autistic, struggling with mental health, puberty, and didn't want to believe I was a lesbian), I went by the name Eryx. I still love that name.

@sharksfrommars @greenbunny7 @romanticizing-writing @therealstanfordpines

tag game bcs why not

what were you almost named?

I was almost named Jadis :3

npt: @girl-rudely-interrupted @yourfavvvintj @kermit-the-fag-uwu @circe-but-betterr @jammahanna @bats-and-bruised @your-local-starstruck-dreamer @im-not-a-goat-4sure @ibuprofnaf @b3lls-th3-r04ch @s4ge-s4ge-s4ge @unt1ed-sh0el4ces @perpetualloser10191 @winter-depressed-belle @pokerface1312 @luna---lovegood @dumb-bitch-aiden @purely-puppy-pawz