Don’t Mind Me…I’m Just Thinking About How Spiders Are Naturally Talented And Skilled Weavers And

“Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see through your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone.”

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! 🦃

Plot twist: The alpha on the fifth day was Jung-bae and he’s the father.

“Okay,” Jung-bae said gently. “Just calm down. You can’t smoke to calm down anymore, so try deep breathing or… count to ten or whatever pregnant people do.”

“I’m going to be the talk of my ex-wife’s garden club until I die,” Gi-hun moaned, collapsing onto the couch.

“Come on, buddy,” Jung-bae said, patting his shoulder. “No use spiraling. Let’s just figure this out logically, yeah? Start by mapping them out.” He went to a corkboard covered in tickets and various photographs and took them down stacking them neatly before producing sticky notes and tacks as if they were detectives. “You said four alphas, some you know, some you don’t—five days, four mistakes. Let’s go in order. Who was first?”

Gi-hun scratched his cheek. “Sang-woo,” He muttered. Then, because of course it needed clarification, “Cho Sang-woo.”

Jung-bae froze mid-tack, his eyebrows crawling up into his hairline. “Cho Sang-woo? The Cho Sang-woo? The pride of Ssangmun-dong? That Cho Sang-woo?”

Gi-hun raised an eyebrow. “What, is there another one?”

Jung-bae shook his head slowly, like he could not believe what he was writing as he scribbled the name down. The tack made a particularly judgmental squeak as he pinned it to the board. “I’m just surprised. I know you two were like childhood sweethearts or whatever, but from the few times we’ve gone out for drinks I’ve seen him smile exactly once, and it looked like it hurt him physically.” He glanced over. “So, when you two finished, did he give you a performance review or…?”

He ducked just in time to dodge the flying shoe.

“If anyone should be questioning the decision,” Gi-hun said, “It’s Sang-woo! He could have far more suitable omegas. Goodness knows his mother only talks about it every time I come by her stall. ‘My Sang-woo is the most eligible bachelor—handsome and rich!’”

“He could,” Jung-bae agreed instantly.

The other shoe flew through the air.

“Okay! Okay! Moving on!” Jung-bae yelped, scribbling like his life depended on it. “Second alpha?”

“In-ho,” Gi-hun said, arms crossed tight. “Hwang In-ho.”

Jung-bae nodded, writing it down. “Someone we don’t know. Progress. Got an age? Occupation?”

“Forty-five. Two years younger than me. He’s a cop.”

Jung-bae stopped mid-letter. “You slept with a cop? What if it was a sting? What if he thought you were—”

“I’m not a criminal!” Gi-hun snapped. “The only arrest on my record was from—” He stopped himself, mouth shutting with a click.

Jung-bae raised one slow, unimpressed eyebrow.

“It wasn’t for prostitution, I’ll tell you that,” Gi-hun muttered, waving him off.

“Alright, alright,” Jung-bae said, sticking it to the board. “Third alpha?”

“I don’t know his name,” Gi-hun mumbled, suddenly very interested in a frayed thread on the couch cushion.

The pen dropped.

“You don’t know—?”

“But!” Gi-hun sprang up and grabbed the pen and one of the sticky notes. “I can draw his face.”

Moments later, he stepped back to reveal a truly tragic sketch: a face with massive round eyes, cartoonish lips and parted dark hair.

Jung-bae stared at it. Blinked. “Great. We’ll print these out. Tape them to lampposts. Wanted: Alpha Baby Daddy. Likes long walks and kissing with these lips apparently—”

“Shut up!” Gi-hun threw himself back onto the couch.

“Last one?”

Gi-hun sighed. “Jun-ho.”

“Okay, cool—”

“Hwang Jun-ho.”

Jung-bae looked up sharply. “That’s… that’s a funny coincidence.”

Gi-hun did not look at him. “It’s uh. Not a coincidence. That’s In-ho’s little brother.”

Silence.

Jung-bae stared at the cork board. Then at Gi-hun. Then at the cork board again, like it might rearrange itself into something more reasonable.

“...You slept with two brothers. Two. Brothers.”

Gi-hun covered his face with a pillow and screamed into it. Then he pulled it away and moaned in despair,”I didn’t know that until after the fact I swear!”

OR: Omega Gi-hun spends a particularly nasty heat with four different alphas, Sang-woo, In-ho, Jun-ho, and the Salesman, and gets pregnant and then has to find out who the father is.

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY WANT AND MORE!!! 🙏🙏

anon if u write this into a fic, i will give u my first born 😩🙌 i need to know how and why gihun transitioned from one man to the next! 🥹

also, four alphas in five days, damn gihun.... even during a heat, that's crazy lmao donna sheridan final boss

i made this and it was doing numbers on the bird app so here it goes.

We need to cast Lee Seo-hwan in a movie where he can get his revenge and kill Lee Jung-jae and Lee Byung-hun.

When you’re trying to watch RWRB but your family member walks in on you:

OKAY SO I JUST GOT BACK FROM WATCHING SPIDER-MAN NWH THE MORE FUN STUFF VERSION AND I WANNA SHARE MY THOUGHTS ON ONE SCENE! BEWARE OF SPOILERS!

You know that one scene where the three Spider-Men were chatting at the Statue of Liberty? The part where Peter-One and Peter-Three were talking about Peter-Two’s web situation? Well, there’s a line that had me SCREAMING.

When P2 was explaining how he shoots his webs, P3 thought that’s cool and he’d like to see a closer look and said - I quote -, “I wanna see the holes” (P2’s wrist holes). I guess P2 must’ve had a dirty mind because he made a face that was kinda like, “😳”.

So yeah, that’s my thought. Don’t believe me, watch it for yourself.

Who of the two was the most mean, the most evil, and the ABSOLUTELY WORST to the main couple (Nick and Charlie/Alex and Henry)?