Imagine If You And A Stranger Were Locked In A Library Overnight With Only The Flames Of A Lantern Guiding

“Ne méprisez la sensibilité de personne. La sensibilité de chacun, c'est son génie.”

— Charles Baudelaire

How to romanticize life

Perhaps that has been talked about before (it certainly has been talked about before, but I’ve never seen it implemented towards a romanticization of life specifically). 

This thought started once upon a time, when I was seeing many of those posts talking about how to romanticize life, especially when it was not romantic at all to begin with. The thing with these posts that I’ve seen (not a problem, just an observation) is that all of them talk about specific images of romance, rather than talk about how to achieve these. For example, one would talk about “strolling down a wooden area” or “wearing a specific ensemble”, but from my own experience, these actions alone are not enough to properly romanticize one’s life. 

And then, after I enjoyed a particularly romantic moment myself (doing the dishes, of all things!), I sat down and wrote about it, wondering why this specific activity (which I usually find myself indifferent to) brought upon me those feelings. And then, it dawned on me.

To romanticize one’s life, it is not about a specific activity, but about the grace, the elegance, we put in any activity we do. 

It is about being mindful of the action itself. About deliberate movements we do to achieve that elegance. And, at the root of it all, it is about being in the present. 

Elegance is rarely achieved naturally. It is true, some people might appear to us elegant by nature, because of how they talk, how they walk, how they hold themselves, but mostly, elegance is a choice. And it comes in two easy steps.

1. Posture.

When someone brings about the image of a long commute on the bus and how wretched that makes one feels (I know, this is a time of pandemic, we avoid the bus when we can, but for the sake of the experiment, let us imagine). It requires a simple shift in posture, to elongate one’s body against the back of the seat, to bring the head a little higher, and to hold onto a phone or a book with care, as if the item is precious (as it should be). And suddenly, the ride becomes romantic. Because, at that moment, your brain shifts from your thoughts (about the ride) to your body. Take a moment to appreciate the fact that your body is now talking to you in places you usually ignore it and look out the window. You are now in a period drama. 

2. Slowing down.

One particular movement I can think of that brings about either indifference or complete hatred is this one: putting on a mask before going out/going in a closed space. Well, even that singular moment can become elegant, therefore romantic, with this simple step: when one slows down their movement to put it on. It takes just a couple of seconds, no more than usual, but it demands an attention turned towards the body rather than the mind. Feeling each fingers stretching with the elastic going around the ears, softly pulling the fabric above the nose and under the chin, making those last adjustments before going in. The whole thing takes around 3 seconds. But your brain, in those 3 seconds, is able to override any thoughts you might have had then, and focused on those movements. Take a moment to appreciate hearing your body where you thought it was once quiet. The period drama you are in has multiple episodes. 

There are plenty of other small ways to bring more elegance (and romanticism) in one’s life. Taking the time to pronounce our words better, reading a book and clearly hearing all the words in our head, carefully selecting which clothes to wear and feeling their material on the tips of our fingers, choosing a style of writing that is more polished than usual, no matter the language (which I did at the beginning of this post, to prove a point - writing a post on Tumblr is far from romantic, but I made it happen for me anyway and then I got bored because I’m only human and I can romanticize things only up to a point). It does not matter where you are, how much you have, the style you prefer to walk around. It is all about taking the time to feel those actions in our bodies.

Romanticizing life is akin to a meditation. For people who do not like meditating. Think about those period dramas you like (c-dramas count, they’re just as aesthetically pleasing!), think about those youtube video you can’t stop watching (thinking of Bernadette Banner here, as well as Liziqi). They all have that in common. They show us deliberate, carefully chosen images, and those images have a proper posture (no shaky cam) and every movement look somewhat slower so we can properly see what is happening on the screen. 

Of course, it is entirely possible to romanticize our lives in retrospect. To think about our week and see all those times life has been romantic, despite us not trying. But true romanticism is lived in the moment. So enjoy it as it lasts.

TL;DR To romanticize something is not about doing certain activities. It is about being present in any actions we take. It is about mindfulness. It is a form of meditation for those who do not like meditating. Being in the body rather than in the mind. As romantic and pleasing as images and ideas are, it really is through the body that we experience the feeling of romanticism. 

Now, go forth, and feel the romanticism of your life as it is. 

Doctor Who is back in business!

 It’s like Rey is just a sex object and have no choice. It disrespectful for women, Daisy and her character.

Just to make a few things clear...

People aren't upset at John for disliking reylo. He's a human being and he can have whatever views on shipping he sees fit. No one cares about that and if someone does, they should rethink their priorities. People are upset, because of the gross, sexist things he said on Instagram before ever making the reylo tweet. Here's what he said:

This is disgusting. Implying that a woman is some sort of a trophy to be won, when you eventually fuck her. A woman doesn't have agency, what matters is who takes her virginity, as if she can be claimed that way. Calling it "just a joke" is also disturbing, because I've heard that excuse from men, trying to avoid consequences for their sexist comments, one too many times.

Overall, his views are troubling, especially paired with how he's liked a post about Chris Brown avoiding jail time for rape in the past.

This isn't about fictional characters or the suggestion that Finn and Rey will have sex, that's the farthest thing from what matters here. The issue is with how he spoke about women as a whole.

No one's condoning the abuse he recieved in this fandom or trying to dismiss it, the racism that's directed against him to this day will always be disgusting and unacceptable.

That being said, he messed up. He said demeaning things about women and he should've apologised instead of doubling down. That's why people are mad at him. Not because of reylo, not because he suggested that Rey can have sex with Finn, it's about the real life implications of his comment.

O, your Master side is showing

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Shout out to my fellow bisexuals!

You are seen, even if nobody you know irl does.

You are valid, no matter what anyone else may say.

You deserve to be loved, regardless of what gender the people you surround yourself with are.

You deserve to be happy and safe and free to love whoever you want and a thousand other things.

The only thing you don't deserve is to be made to feel like you can't be your true self without consequences.

So from one bisexual person to another, happy bi visibility day. Even if you can't celebrate it this year, I hope you can celebrate it in future years.