THANK YOU NINTENDO BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE W SONIA SHES SO CUTE ???

i need to rant and please don’t ignore all my posts, please pay attention to them.

warning : // homophobia, bullying, r4p3, assault, and a few things.

1), i feel like people don’t understand that i have a hard time liking men and being w men. when i say, i can’t get used to it, they think it’s a joke. they think i’m “joking” when i say, i cannot feel comfortable around them. every time i always think they’re gonna hurt me or beat me up.

2), i also feel like no one is listening to me. i can’t feel attracted to men. i can’t imagine myself having a boyfriend. i can’t picture myself being friends with them. i can’t do ONE thing without thinking negatively. i know not all men are like this and i am NOT generalising them either, it’s just that since i’m severely bullied by most of them, i get really scared thinking they’ll hurt me.

3), due to issues, i don’t understand the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. i know this is stupid but im really confused and i have hard times understanding stuff so im just really ugh. i am sure i identify as aroace bc i just don’t like the attraction and it feels disgusting to me.

4), when boys have a crush on me, i get a ick really quick. when most boys would go up to me and say they got a “crush” on me, i fr cant tell if they’re being fr or lying. most of them don’t even say they’re serious but next thing I know, they talk shit and say horrid things about me. and most of that counts as s3xųal bullying (?) cause they harass me everywhere, hurt me, give me bruises, etc. this is why i cannot imagine myself w a man. i’m frightened.

5), when they act all sweet or when i reject them. if one comes up to me and i say no. they get all angry and start saying “you’re so [remark on how i look]” or “i never liked you anyway [horrid name]”. most of them call me that cause apparently i identify as neurodivergent. even worse. they knew about it somehow???”

6), i HATE how i can’t be w men. i get sometimes board when i only like girls and wish I can ditch labels but I don’t FEEL like that. yesterday, I went hotel and saw this white boy who was attractive. lesbians can find men attractive without wanting to date them right? you know when the realisation hits you cause you can’t feel like that cause that isn’t who you are.

7). i want male validation ofc but i identify as sapphic cause i only like women. but how to become friends w a man without having to feel like you wanna date him but that’s truly how you don’t feel? yeah. pain. comphet is getting my ass 😹

8). i am currently planning to stay single forever. i literally cannot handle myself being scared w men. what happened to me? i used to feel so comfortable w them but the bullying... 😕 + i’ve seen how women get abused and rap3d which scares me even worse. i’ve been sexually touched before by a man and at that same night, i dreamed of being rap3d. for no reason. deadass.

so when that my irls be saying, “you turned yourself gay”, “your fault”, la la la, it ain’t my fault. fuck them and tell them to fix up.

but end of my rant, thank you for listening to all that racket 😹 .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN

throwback to when i used to date alot of men and called a slut but at that same time, i fell in love w girls for the first time and ppl started calling me rude names lmfao

remembering when i had my first date and i dumped him cause he wasn’t interested and my female friend came and i fell for her too

then my “boyfriend” liked my female friend and i felt annoyed cause i fell in love w her but didn’t realise my queer “signs” from that memory. i really wanted to be w her and to date her but i felt fucking nervous.

remembering when i had a second date and i absolutely hated when men had a crush on me especially when he had a gf and went “oh youre (mean comment)”

i would force myself to have a crush on men and even if they LIKED me, i NEVER felt the same cause trauma experiences and reasons (mostly into girls that time)

the way i fell in love w (a) girl(s) bf and then i felt disgusting afterwards because i didn’t like men that much.. then I ended up catching STRONG feelings for her TOO BUT MORE than that BOY.

then caught feelings for all my female friends. ALL of them.

then my family wanna have audacity to say i’m lying and that i owe them alot of things w being gay and queer and coming out and that if i didn’t come out, they’d force me out there themselves.

my god my comphet was showingg. i’m suprised how i am gay my whole childhood but never realised. i’m so disgusting oh my my myyy😹 /neg

(tone tags pls)

update: i saw the same girl today and like ahhhh OH MY GOODNESSSSS

STORY TIME;

Short actually since we didn't talk much or I didn't do much.

I was walking today and saw her. She looked so fucking cute god I wanna say hi so badly, I wanna kiss her

She's so cute with her braces i just a aahh (it's an Asian girl, me and her meet good so it's fine) and I looked at her and she looked at me then I INSTANTLY looked away then looked back. And I went up (not too close) to her and said hi and waved and HER LITTLE NOSE SCRUNCH I AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH SHES SO FUCKING ADORABLE SAVE ME (braces and glasses)

and she's just smiling too

Then I said how are you and she nodded (I'm guessing she said yes)

I just

God she's such a cutie

PLEASE I WANNA HUG HER SO BAD

I CANT ANYMORE 😭😭

???

i’m actually fuming like so much right now

my family saw my gallery w how much I liked women and that im queer

and NOW they’re fucking outing me???

my sis is calling me a lesbian as a fucking insult and my WHOLE family is forcing me to come out

“oh you just came out of the closet” no i fucking didn’t?? i chose to stay closeted bc y’all wouldn’t stop labeling me and calling me horrible insults.

now i have to spend my WHOLE christmas going to cry because im being OUTED. AGAIN.

AGAIN??? and I even said I don’t own them shit and now they’re just outing me completely. telling all my family members about it, even my mom assumes i “ like ” pussy like wtf??

“you didn't even try yourself out w a man yet” I don’t need to knowing that im gay already?? how about you do it to know if youre gay too??

I just didn’t like men from a young age and I would force myself to. no matter how I would try to, I just fucking COULDNT get it.

now youre assuming im turning myself gay just because i chose to stay closeted??

“i saw your snaps and it mentioned that you like women so dont be scared”

tf you mean ”don’t be scared” bruh you out me every time to people putting me in danger.

now I have to fucking stand there, worrying im faking this and hoping to god NONE of my mates from the place I work at, TELLS them that i am QUEER.

oh my fucking god.

and whats worst is that i literally got outed yesterday and I can no longer hide from it cause it’s true and they know?$^%!^!)

i HATE people.

i shouldn't have fucking done any of this.

next time im never putting gay shit in my gallery AGAIN.

i feel so shit oh my god.

but merry fucking christmas guys.

SLUTS COME ALONG TOO GANG

Taste by skz that releases yesterday is for WHORES ONLY

technically im still jewish due to actual family and ancestor background and my dna proved that its both from my maternal (moms side) and her fathers fathers father's etc side (patrilineal) but my dad on the other hand doesnt have jews, its only my mom and her grandparents and great grandparents and greater that ARE 100% jewish

but that means.. i would need to convert to judaism since im considered a jew by maternal side to be considered FULLY

very excited though!! cant wait to learn more about judaism 🫶🏼 🫶🏼

life is so good right now

been dying to know the sides of my moms family but I know too much of my moms side and still want to know more, so we agreed to the 23andme kit and now we r waiting for the results which takes 5-6 weeks

but once of my uncles, are updating us about digging our family tree and right now, he is saying there is too many mixes in my dads family

bro said that. MY DADS side. has senegalese. swiss. italian. spanish. sweden.

thats the most recent we found and my dad sadly died so I couldnt get to ask him anything.

but being italian and spanish is shocking because he did make me visit his spanish side. my mom said EVERY time she is in that mfing house she IS ALWAYS seeing a flag that has red white and green. she didnt know what that was. but like. ITS THE WAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING SWITZERLAND AND WANTED TO LIVE THERE in the FUTURE and then boom, a gene has been found.

i love being mixed

okay y’all, my fake friends outed me twice to a teacher at work

basically where i work, there’s teachers who teach kids and there’s one who checks on me each time even though i don’t like her but mostly i do shifts at night so age difference

they outed me and said “oh she’s gay” and so the teacher went “oh she’s gay? wow” and someone went, “oh hell nah.. that’s very..” when they asked me if it was true. they started acting weird by saying they liked girls when they were straight, a STRAIGHT girl and then i asked, “why tryna act like you’re gay when you aren’t?” and they went “oh but hell no thats horrid”

so basically got outed to teachers and 3 different people

mmmhhh okay brothers🫡 this is enough for me today

the kit conner situation is so rude and unpleasant. literally where the hell is respect for closeted people,, the community is actually disgusting for making him out himself.

absolutely satisfied

life is so good right now

been dying to know the sides of my moms family but I know too much of my moms side and still want to know more, so we agreed to the 23andme kit and now we r waiting for the results which takes 5-6 weeks

but once of my uncles, are updating us about digging our family tree and right now, he is saying there is too many mixes in my dads family

bro said that. MY DADS side. has senegalese. swiss. italian. spanish. sweden.

thats the most recent we found and my dad sadly died so I couldnt get to ask him anything.

but being italian and spanish is shocking because he did make me visit his spanish side. my mom said EVERY time she is in that mfing house she IS ALWAYS seeing a flag that has red white and green. she didnt know what that was. but like. ITS THE WAY I WAS THINKING ABOUT VISITING SWITZERLAND AND WANTED TO LIVE THERE in the FUTURE and then boom, a gene has been found.

i love being mixed