I’m Sorry This Isn’t Bagginsheild Related Again But I Thought Someone May Like To See My Flower In

I am admittedly, not good at drawing people.,

I can how ever draw the hell out of a dragon. Or.. a drake in this case? Agh semantics, they all breath fire and eat naughty children aye? (Or at least that’s what I tell my niece)

👏👏👏

FRECKLED BILBO PREACH!!!

‘A dwarrow dame of Erebor’

She’s so pretty I’m in fits. What’s her name? What’s her job? What’s her story?

Brain storm:

I imagine she is very much in the upper class, if she works then she works a soft craft possibly with textiles. Perhaps she works with a manual loom and between that an an instrument she plays she has very callused finger tips for a lady of the upper class.

I imagine there is very little visual distinction between men and women in all classes but the upper classes are all very prettied up.

She uses gold, oxidization from bronze in powder and fat to make eye shadow too (also lapis is ground to a powder for make up as well but it’s not a color this dame wears often) (Thorin wheres so much eye coal and never washes it off before bed. His pillow looks like it belongs to Bofur)

Her parents are likely merchants who spend a lot of time away from Erebor traveling as far so Gondor and the Blue mountains returning with gifts for her.

She is only young, about 65, old enough to work with her grandmother in textile production but not old enough to travel with her parents on such dangerous roads. Though she is born at the beginning of the age of men there are still orc strong holds and devotees to the fallen enemy that are known to waylay caravans of traders

Thrirli daughter of Flenik the merchant.

I’m crying into my soup

No but like, this is the thing about Sam carrying Frodo and the ring up the mountain. It's a cool scene in the movie, but they don't explain what's happening at all. The ring at this point is so heavy Frodo can't even lift his head. It's like essentially a cinder-block he has to carry around his neck. And finally he gives up and Sam offers to carry him and:

DO YOU GUYS GET IT? THE RING IS A BURDEN, BUT FRODO ISN'T. FRODO DOESN'T WEIGH ANYTHING TO SAM. SAM CAN LIFT HIM EASILY!!!! HE'S NOT A BURDEN AT ALL I —

Is this just two New Zealand children?

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Real-Time Fandub | TRAILER

Thorin Oakenshield without a tummy is like an angel without its wings

Hey so what if Bilbo fully just drove Sting up through Azogs chest on the Karak and that was the end of it?

I love time travel AUs so much so let me just…

Avenge the living.

Tw: graphic depictions of battle (very graphic)

Bilbo watched in horror as Thorin was flung across the outcrop like a rag doll, hitting the flat rock like a body on a sacrificial stone, at best he had the wind knocked out of him, at worst he’d have a broken back.

Last time this had all happened he’s managed to walk away but Bilbo honestly couldn’t remember if he had fallen like that before. He cringed and steeled himself.

In the black speech Azog summoned a minion almost his own size to behead Thorin.

Last time it had all been flailing, desperate chaos, this time Bilbo sucked in a deep breath and sprinting, sword forward and close to his side until the final moment where he thrust Sting up and in, somewhere between the orcs floating rib, he yanked upwards on the handle of the blade and heard the putrid popping and sloshing as he rended the side of his blade though the orcs central mass, all it could do was look shocked for two seconds before collapsing dead on top of the king. Bilbo hadn’t turned his sword to catch in the orcs ribs and easily pulled it free. It stunk of the guts it had just shorn through and Bilbo tried not to wretch, he didn’t have time, in two more seconds the company would decent and this would be Bilbos only chance.

He had to kill the white orc. Tonight.

When the fighting began Bilbo was glad to see that for the remainder of his last life what small amount of practice he had kept up with a blade had done him good and sting felt all to right in his hands so when he came nose to nose with the great Worg matriarch that Azog rode upon, Bilbo suprised even himself when he thrust his sword up, piercing the monster from the chin up into her brain, the beast didn’t even howl, she just crumbled, Azogs eyes went wide as he toppled.

The rest of the company continued to dispatch the remaining orcs and Bilbo knew it would be only seconds until the great eagles arrived. It didn’t matter. He had lived his life before and if it ended now it would have been a fine life, full of love and adventure and he would be remembered well.. So while Azog was still freeing himself from under his dead mount Bilbo charged, silent as the grave, leaping onto the Worgs side and propelling himself straight for Azog in what must have looked like a tackle. But he had to intention of grappling the monster, instead he blade shot out again, lower then he would have liked, somewhere around the orcs kidneys, Bilbo assumed. It didn’t matter, he turned the blade vertically and shoved hard and up, until the gash he made in the orcs side was large enough for his hands to regrettably follow the blade in.

Oh course it couldn’t be so easy. Azog was a great and terrible warrior and he would not go down without taking someone with him, his prosthetic blade stabbed deep into Bilbos chest.

Everything seemed to grow quiet and slow, Bilbos heart was all he could hear as he starred down at Azog as blood bubbled out of the orcs mouth and Bilbo actually smiled. He wasn’t sure if he said it or thought it but “For Thorin” where the last words to cross the hobbits mind before it all went black.

Lost in that darkness he was sure he could hear people calling his name. Maybe it was the elves, rousing him for tea.. or maybe it was young Frodo, trying to get him to carry on with what ever story he dozed off half way through.

“Bilbo!”

“Burglar!”

No one in Rivendale or the Shire had ever called him.. Burglar.. so where was he?

Bilbo has terrible mental health but that brain is a fucking vault and he covers everything with the bitchy meanness that only a Baggins could muster

who from lotr most needs therapy and who would actually go to therapy 😇

LOTR Therapy Reactions:

Frodo: is a little bit reluctant at first and feels like he’s “taking away resources from people who need them more” a bit, but learns that he needs them just as much, not to compare himself to others, and settles down well.

Elrond: motherfucker tries to mansplain therapy techniques to the therapist in the first session, spends the entirety of the second session crying hysterically, and from that moment on is a total therapy nerd. he literally decorates his CBT notebooks. asks if he can get extra points for turning his worksheets early. literally treats his final session like he’s fucking graduating college and makes everyone attend in formalwear.

Pippin: argues with the therapist, who quickly wises up to his bantering ways and essentially starts doing talk-therapy masqueraded as an improv-comedy session. weirdly enough, it works, and he reports feeling much better.

Thranduil: books 10 sessions, doesn’t even go to the first one, and instead of asking for a refund, just straight up files a chargeback on his AMEX

Maedhros: sends Google hate mail every time it dares to show him an advert to a therapy service, which is a vicious cycle because he keeps Googling “how to prove therapy is a capitalist scam” and “cure panic attack reddit” and “cancel nightmare subscription”

Legolas and Gimli: wandered in by accident thinking it was a Starbucks, has no clue what therapy is, and genuinely just assume they’re gossiping with a strangely professional barista. they have been attending for the last 20 years and as a result have outstanding mental health

Fëanor: someone suggests a therapist to him after the third time he set his microwave on fire after it melted his cheese too much. he looks up said therapist, reports them to the registered psychologist regulatory body for no reason, and pulls political strings to ensure they lose their practice license. he has never met this person.

Bilbo Baggins: therapist drops him in 3 weeks with “yeah you’re fine move on” because he makes her cry every session. not because his mental health mind you but because he keeps being subtly mean about her fashion choices and room decorations.

Celegorm: banned from therapy centre before his first session for barking like a dog when the receptionist asked for his health insurance number.

Okay I’ll upload some real art now sorry

Au where thorin and Bilbo grew up together coz I like being happy

They’re such cute wee bubs

I’d turn the other cheek but I’ve already used three and I’m saving the fourth for a special occasion