The School Hotdogs Taste Like Coagulated Hotdog Water In A Nice Cardboard Bun.

In a zombie apocalypse I would be the one trying to watch tv and not know what’s wrong. Like Stacy from phineas and ferb. Either that or is he the first to get infected.

You are just as beautiful as the moon. If you say you’re not beautiful then you would also be saying that the moon is not beautiful.

i am a straight female but there is a really cute girl in my womens studies class. is it appropriate to tell her that i think shes hot as hell?

The word "lover" is just.... the tenderness... the romance.... the gender neutrality.... whats not to love

Never thought there’d be a shooting at my school but dang. Today was a day.

Did anyone else’s friend group in middle school become completely obsessed with bread or were we weird?

I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN THE WOODS WITH MY LOVER!!!

Me 2 months ago: I’m straight I just like listening to girl in red

Me now: *sweater weather plays*

I’ve seen people say “people who drink straight milk are to be feared”. And yes. You should fear me. My bones have been strengthened 10x that of the human man. I have fallen out of so many trees and off of so many high things and had so many chances to break my bones but they have the strength of steel.

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something