A Funny Take On Counterparts

Okay so there's this dp x dc tumblr post about the JL finding the Ghost King's family tree or something and lots of misunderstandings happening but I can't find it anymore and would be grateful if someone would send it to me... Anyhow I was inspired by it and this is the result!

Also on ao3 if you wanna check it out there!

The Family Tree

"So you're telling me this is just a family tree?", Green Lantern asked with a frown on his face.

Bruce could see Constantine's eyes twitching at that question. As always, leave it to Hal Jordan to annoy people.

"This isn't just anything", the sorcerer said with narrowed eyes. "It's a Class-X magical artifact. If this thing is used as a focus for a ritual, the magnitude of magical energy would rise by at least 80 factors. For those of you non-magical or unfamiliar with magic, that's fucking huge."

Beside him Zatanna nodded, her gaze still fixed on the ancient manuscript. She hadn't taken her eyes off the scroll for more than a minute since she got to the Watch Tower and first saw it spread out on the containment room table. Constantine was the same. Captain Marvel was not present, working along with Superman, Hawkgirl, and Aquaman on a case, but his reactions have always been dissimilar from his magical colleagues, so his case might be anywhere between staying the hell away from it to trying to inhale it.

It was clear to Bruce that Zatanna coveted it, but was sensible and cautious enough to stay away from it. Constantine had no sense so he was a tossup. From where he was standing between Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter, the Gotham vigilante resolved to keep an eye on the two magicians. They most likely won't try to steal the artifact, considering the heavy dose of 'not messing with that thing' overshadowing the desire to possess it, but the scroll itself might be enchanted to encourage covetous feelings on those nearby. It wouldn't be the first time. Better safe than sorry.

It was Diana that stepped up towards the two JL Dark members to seek more clarification. As both a Demigod and as someone familiar with magic, she was usually the one taking point on such issues.

She gestured to the scroll innocently sitting inside the runic circle the two mages had constructed around it. "You have told us that the artifact is not destructive, that it is merely a record, and that the information it contains is not a spell, or a runic arrangement, or a magic circle. You have also told us that the strange energy readings coming from it are mostly due to the material it's made out of than any catastrophic sorcery enchanted into it. You have at last decoded it as a record of a family tree. Yet it is dangerous, a Class-X relic as you've said. Given all this information, I suppose the correct question to ask here is this: why is a family tree capable of raising magical energy output by 80 factors?"

The two magicians looked at each other. Zatanna finally pried her eyes away from the scroll and faced the room.

"Magic is a force that simultaneously has laws but at the same time adheres to none. It's confusing to explain but for the time being just keep that in mind."

She walked to the center of the room, followed by Constantine, visibly trying to collect her words. Bruce prepared himself for a complicated explanation and activated another one of the batsuit's recorders. He felt the urge to sigh, for a supposed unchained force, Magic was needlessly complex at times, and practically incomprehensible to non-magicals.

At the front, Zatanna took a deep breath and began.

"As you know there are multiple dimensions. But magical dimensions come under a different category. Depending on the overall magical potential of a particular magical dimension, we call it the World State Stable Thaumaturgical Output Capacity, we can classify these dimensions in grades and levels, as either higher or lower, with relation to each other. These levels are dependent on a multitude of variables like space, time, gravity, Events, Proximity, etc and as such are non-linear, and unfixed. That's the first thing."

Bruce could practically see the capitals on the last two. Looks like they would need to hold another meeting to clarify a lot of these concepts. Seeing the dawning of lost expressions on some of the members however, Bruce mentally amended that to many future meetings.

Zatanna continued. "Magical objects from higher dimensions become stronger in lower ones. The inverse is also true. This is all in relation to the Overture and the same polarity orientation of course but we don't need to get into that now-"

On the contrary Bruce thought they really needed more explanation on all of that.

"-In simple terms, a child's toy from a higher dimension could become the focus for an apocalyptic ritual in a much lower dimension, while an apocalyptic artifact from a lower dimension might as well be paperweight in a sufficiently higher one. There are ways around it, but if those methods are not implemented, then this is how it generally goes. The larger the level difference, the higher the power."

Now that wasn't concerning at all. Bruce really needed to update his contingency plans regarding magic.

Constantine continued from where Zatanna left off, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"The second thing is that when it comes to magic, things that are indefinable or unquantifiable become definable and quantifiable. Stuff like love, hate, happiness, despair, fate, necessity, authority? All measurable. Not always needed of course, But definitely possible and frequently used in a variety of magical fields."

The sorcerer leaned against a nearby chair. "One such thing is Significance. The magic contained in true names for instance is mostly based on significance. A true name is significant to you, its a doorway to your soul, and therefore it holds power. Significance is also what we call a positive, additive factor in magic. In the absence of interfering variables, significance as a quantity is directly proportional to magical output. In other words-"

"-the more significant an object or an event, the higher the magical energy output, and consequently higher the magical power", J'onn finished. He looked towards the scroll. "The information recorded on it, the family tree as you've said, valuable in significance, most likely in terms of whose family it's a record of. In addition, the artifact is from a higher dimension with relation to ours, and that has a cumulative effect."

"Yeah exactly", said Constantine with a raised eyebrow. "Which means that if that hypothetical toy Zatanna mentioned? If that happened to be important enough, like a first toy, or a cherished gift or something like that, its significance increases, its potential increases, and in the right hands, or in the wrong hands really, that potential could be harnessed at a lower level."

There was a bout of thoughtful silence as they absorbed all of the information.

But Bruce felt as if he had been quiet enough and took the chance to ask a question of his own. "You mentioned something called the Overture, and polarity orientation. What do they mean?"

Constantine just sighed. "For fuck's sake Batsy those things aren't really important to the discussion..."

Bruce just stared.

..."Fine", the mage said in defeat. "There are many names for it, the Overture, Exordium, Legerdomain, Nascence...but the most accepted two are the Beforebirth, and the Womb. It's not a something as much as it's a someplace, but then again it's not really a place either. Simply put it's the birthplace of Magic, where it all began and all that. It can't be accessed without the Key and that's been lost for a long time. It's actually a mission for many magicals to find it you know? A holy quest for a lot of them. Some of them are straight up crazy though."

Bruce field that information safely away. Figure out a plan to combat fanatic magicians trying to find the birthplace of magic for sinister reasons. "And polarity?"

"Well", Zatanna began, "its how magic is classified according to the nature of...magic? Or rather the essence? It's hard to put in mundane terms...Anyhow broadly speaking there are two main polarities, the Obverse, and the Reverse."

For a moment, she struggled with the explanation before brightening, seemingly having found an idea.

"Picture a number line, but like on the y-axis! Zero is the Overture, Obverse dimensions are the positive number side, and Reverse dimensions are the negative numbers! The higher up the obverse dimension, the larger its magical output! Similarly, the lower down the reverse dimension, the higher its magical output."

Bruce had hardly parsed through that when their resident speedster spoke up.

"Guys", the red clad hero said, "I feel like we missed the obvious follow up question after Ollie over here...like I feel like this is important, but where exactly is the scroll from?"

As one everyone turned towards the artifact.

Constantine grimaced and Zatanna winced. They looked at each other as if asking who wanted to bite the bullet. Finally it looked as if Constantine lost. The sorcerer cursed under his breath.

"Well which dimension is the scroll from?", asked Wonder Woman.

Constantine took what looked like a fortifying breath.

"It's from the Infinite Realms."

Silence.

"What?", the Green Lantern asked intelligently.

"It's from the Infinite Realms. As in Infinite. As in end of the figurative fucking line, number line whatever!"

Everyone stared at the magicians as understanding slowly dawned.

There was what was essentially a magical nuke in the Watch Tower.

"Now", began Martian Manhunter, "this is unfortunate".

Danny turned his face up toward the sky, letting Gothams rain poor down his face. His husband, Tim, had loved this city-to the point of dying for it while wearing a mask.

The court of owls had been cowardly, and honestly Danny should have expected that from a bunch of entitled rich people. Many of the bats were there taking down the courts lackeys but there wasn't any signs of the Talons, which made sense since they seemed to act oddly around Phantom and just kinda flopped onto the ground and bared thier necks to him. Wierd.

Everyone was fighting, so no one noticed the tip of a snipers rifle poking out of a crag in the cave walls until it was too late. A shot was fired.

And Tim was on the floor

Danny didn't remember much after that. He remembers Nightwing holding his little brother while Batman came to his side. He remembers the other bats running off to find the sniper and Danny just...stood there. He stared at Tims blood splatter and the gray matter all over the floor. The bullet had went through his head had killed him quickly but this didn't comfort him. The scene was so gruesome but he couldn't bring himself to look away as his vision was consumed by green.

The next time he became aware Nightwing was in front of him, asking him to turn himself in. Confused, he asked what he had done only to learn he had hunted down every Court of Owls member like a man possessed and torn them to shreds. No one was sure how Phantom knew who was a member or not especially while he was in that state, but it didn't change the face that Phantom had killed so many people.

Danny was horrified. How could he had done this? He had never experienced the pit rage before and never thought he would. But here he was having lost almost two weeks of time and gaining more blood on his hands than he knew what to do with.

So Danny, not wanting to argue or-ancients forbid- fight his family-in-law while everyone was grieving, agreed to turn himself in.

So he did.

He never agreed to stick around for an interrogation or a trial though. So he didn't.

The cops never even learned of his true identity before he took off but he knew it wasn't safe to stay in Gotham anymore. Heck, it probably wasn't safe to stay on Earth anymore with all the heroes that would be after him if the bats so much as asked. And there was no way he could go back to his own dimensions Earth either.

...but that didn't mean all Earths where out of the question.

---

Danny had finally gotten settled in this new dimension. Starting over was always hard but he had done it before. Grabbing a gig as a freelance translator and editor for a few publication companies was pretty easy when you knew what cards to play and what people to call. Plus, Danny was really good at making false identities and translating, so that helped a ton.

At night he would keep a look out his window, trying to spot the bats of this world, as as much as it hurt him to do so, he always delighted in seeing this worlds Tim running along the rooftops.

This went on for a while until Danny started getting nauseous and intense pain in his chest and abdomen. It was bad enough that he sniffed out this worlds Dr Thomkins pretty quickly and asked her to give him a check up.

Upon doing an ultrasound she found a strange sphere in his chest, which he assured her was normal, and an embryo growing in his abdomen which was very much not. Danny laid on the examination table for a solid few seconds and Dr. Tomkins was about to start rattling off his options to him before her patient started crying. "Oh thank the stars."

Danny explained that this was the child of his late husband who was murdered and he was very happy to have this baby. Sure, he had most of his personal affects (he had cleaned out his and Tims shared home and safe houses on his way out of the dimension, much to the absolue ire of the other bats) but this was a little living piece of his husband, which was something so much more.

But this also meant he had to leave again. This worlds Tim was just like the one that he lost and he had no doubt that some way, some how, Tim would find out about this child. Could he explain this in a way that was satisfactory? Could he handle Tim coming in and out of his home to visit "his" child as he would undoubtedly do? Could he stand to see the face of a man who looked like his husband, talked like his husband, and acted like his husband, but wasn't? No. He couldn't do that to himself. He couldn't do that to Tim. He refused to replace one Tim for another. That was so callus and shallow. He would never do something like that, grief or no grief. He was strong. He'd be strong for Tim.

He paid the doctor and thanked her profusely before leaving and going back to his apartment. He hadn't even unpacked most of his stuff before he was packing it all back up again. He needed to find a world where:

1. Tim was nothing like the Tim he had known and loved

2. Tim was not old enough to take custody of thier child if he ever found out

3. Batman was not around

4. Damian didn't exist. He was usually pretty cool with the little gremlin but he doesn't think he could listen to him insult Tim and not throttle a literal child.

5. It was not impossible to raise a child

The list could probably use some work but that was the gist of it for now.

-------

Danny had finally found his perfect Gotham after weeks or interdimentional travel and countless jumps. Well, perfect probably wasn't the right word for a place like Gotham but his point still stands.

He once again found himself sitting on the edge of a rooftop overlooking the city. He and his husband had liked to sit and chat in these kinds of places when patrol was slow. Now Danny was sitting alone in the rain in one of Tims old jackets reminiscing. Suddenly hearing a grapple line connect with the building startled him out of his thoughts.

Nightwing landed nearby and for a moment Danny thought he was here to insist Danny turns himself in again before he was reminded that this wasn't the same Nightwing and Danny hadn't committed any crimes here. Well. No violent ones at least. Forging a fake identity requires much criming as it turns out.

Nightwing approached him slowly and cautiously as if he expected Danny to bolt at any second. That wasn't comforting. "Hey," the big bird greeted calmly, "How about you step away from the edge? If there's something on your mind I'm sure we can talk it out, alright?"

Danny opened his mouth and then shut it again. Opening it again he blurted out, "I'm not gonna jump."

Looking doubtful, Nightwing gestured for him to come toward him and away from the edge, and if Nightwing were anyone other than a bat he would not have obliged as he did. Once Danny was safely away from falling to his doom the vigilante began asking questions.

After everything was answered and birdy was sure Danny was safe, he made a comment about the jacket and Danny told him it belonged to his late husband who past away recently. This led to Dick egging Danny on as he talked about his husband and grieved.

It was then that Danny showed Nightwing his baby bump and the vigilante was excited for him.

Somehow he and the various bats kept running into eachother around the city and one thing let to another. Before he knew it the bats where coming and going in his apartment to "check up on him"

This worlds Tim was still 16 and loved his role as Robin. He was grieving the loss of Bruce but...this version of Tim was different. Full of light. His smile was brighter and came more often. His humor wasn't as dark and...he was...smol. He began seeing this Tim more like his child than as an alternate version of his lover. Needless to say he planned on spoiling Robin rotten.

Everything seemed to be falling into place. He had a steady income, an apartment, some new friends, and was slowly unpacking.

It was smooth sailing up until his dead husband appeared in his apartment in the middle of the night staring him down with Lazarus green eyes. How had this happened? He was Tims husband and he made absolutely sure Tims body had been cremated (another thing the bats were mad about since Bruce and Tim were Jewish). Tim has specifically asked for cremation to avoid a situation like this where Ras got his creepy little hands on him.

But why would Ras send Tim here? How did Tim get here? How did Tim find him? Why did Tim show up in his apartment on random nights and then disappear into the city when he tried to ask him answers? Why did Tim barely speak? Was this a clone or the original?

Was this even real? Or was he finally losing his mind?

AU where Danny who was an inmate of Arkham Asylum when? I know we had a lot of aus where he was a security guard of Arkham but the inmate one is pretty much underrated.

There are two ways I can see this going.

One way is Danny being in jail and treating it like a vacation, where he honest to God doesn't even care he's locked in a building with all the scariest villains inside of it. He's honestly just there for the vibes and he's getting free food out of it.

He also can absolutely leave at ANY time and just chooses not to for the reason of not needing to pay rent in any capacity and can (if this au is one where Jazz is interning at Arkham) keep an eye on Jazz to make sure she was being safe.

Or Danny is in there and it goes in a similar way of that one episode where he was in Ghost Jail. Where he like makes all the other inmates restless enough to stage his own escape.

He would probably plan that better though to make sure none of the people who genuinely didn't deserve to escape, escape. Like Joker.

Danny would probably beat the shit out of Joker his first day in the jail. And he would do so knowing itd probably make him worse than the Joker but he genuinely doesnt even care.

I personally like the first one because Danny just chilling in Jail is so funny compared to the other Rogues and like inmates that are locked in their consistently.

Like imagine lining up the rogues and just seeing this 20 smthing yr old kid in the line up, thats so fuckin funny. What would his crime even be?

I feel like it should be killing Joker only for the sake of the fact that anyone willing to throw it down with Joker and actually MURDER the dude HAS to be seen as like 20% more dangerous then Joker ever was as a living person.

Amity Park got turned into an island in a fantasy universe (Fantasy AU)

When Amity Park left the Infinite Realms it didn’t reappear where it had been before, instead it seemed to land in the ocean. Water all around them, a landmass barely on the horizon. Phantom flew to take a look and when he came back told the people of Amity Park that they were not in their universe. He had seen dragons and other creatures that definitely didn’t exist on earth.

Amity Park was now an island. Sandy beaches surrounded the once land-locked city and a row of problems arose faster than solutions could be found. They had food in the supermarkets, the mall and some smaller stores, but the fridges and freezers needed electricity. It took the Fentons and a few electricians to find a solution. 

That was the start of the Fenton Ecto Battery, while the Fentons themselves had already used ecto to power their inventions they now had to find a way to build a battery big enough to power the whole city and then somehow find a way to connect it to the existing lines under the city. 

There was also the problem of money, while people had money, the bank itself didn’t store all of the money in cash. There was no internet or phone service, they were transported into a time before in their minds. 

“Well, the portal still works, can’t we just go back?” 

Phantom had to explain that he couldn’t transport the whole city, he was already busy using his ice until they had power again. Not to mention that the whole city now knew that Phantom was Fenton. And Danny also helped with the F.E.B.

Tucker and Technus were the ones who took on the problem, they had already been working on multiverse phones, so Tucker and Sam could reach Danny no matter where he was, in the Realms or not. 

People who had worked outside of Amity Park were forced to find new work inside the city, retirees came back to work to help as well with knowledge how to do jobs without the modern comforts. 

They were lucky an old man had retired and moved to live with his daughter after a lifetime of building ships. Thanks to him the Amity Parkers actually had a chance at fresh food. Phantom was eventually send out to look for cows, chickens, whatever he would find that could be taken care of for food later on.

The first year was plagued by problems the people had to slowly work out, as well as the struggle of the entire town being heavily liminal due to their three-day-exposure in the Realms. Getting used to people floating suddenly, or phasing into the ground from one step to the next as well as suddenly being a lot stronger and faster were a lot.

The second year slowly worked better, people were used to their new abilities, their new way of life, the ghosts that had attacked them before were now helping them out. Ghostwriter had taken over a big chunk of teaching after he found books about the world’s history and different cultures. 

It wasn’t until their fifth year, now rather used to this life, that they saw a ship coming their way for the first time. The ship carried with it a diplomatic party. In the years Danny had flown over to the continent again and again, learning about animals, seeing the land that was nearest to theirs and thus had been chosen to talk to the newcomers. 

When the diplomatic party had been led through the town they were in awe as well as scared. These people lived not far from the most dangerous forest and yet they had incredible technology. Carriages with now animals to draw them, silently rolling or some even flying through the streets. Streets made from one big stone it seemed while living in equally big stone houses. It was this expedition's quest to visit the land behind the forest. They couldn’t go through the forest, so they had taken a ship, only to be surprised that an island was on the horizon.

It was risky to change their route to the island instead of around the forest, but it would be best. Either they found new lands, or they found new people to trade with. The king was in a desperate situation while trying to build up a poor kingdom he inherited from his father who had run the country into the ground. 

The island was big, and on it was a city bigger and taller than anything they had ever seen, the people living on it were not humans, they had glowing eyes, fangs, long ears. Identifiers from elves and demons, yet they didn’t own the same coloring of the demons or the lithe statue of the elves. 

Nothing about this city had prepared them for the person they met to talk to. The people living here could talk in their language in a broken and heavily accented way, but it was made clear that whoever they were to meet was important. So they stared at the big house and strange contraption on top of it, pressing a button and a sound came from inside the house. The door was opened by a tall woman, she invited them in, inside was more colorful than they had ever seen aside from palaces. 

The house was not big enough for a palace, yet the inside would not lose out in it’s fancy design new to them. The woman told them to wait as she got someone to talk to them, when she reentered the room she was followed by a man even taller than her. Long dark hair braided back, even in the dirty clothes he was wearing and with dirt smeared on him he gave an imposing aura.

“Ah, hello.” Of the group of outsiders a man at the front took a step forward and bowed before answering.

“Greetings, we are the delegation of the kingdom of Root. In the name of his majesty king Jovic the first of his name we would like to open trade with your kingdom.” Danny scratched his cheek, making eye contact with Jazz for a moment. She nodded.

“Welcome to Amity Park then, we aren’t really a kin-” Jazz smiled as she stepped on his foot.

“I mean… I’m Phantom, High King of the Infinite Realms.” 

“I’m Jasmine, his sister.” She turned towards what the group now knew as this island’s king and started to talk to him in another language they had heard spoken by the people of the island. They seemed to discuss something before Jasmine took out a small device and proceeded to tap her finger on it, before putting it away.

“You must be tired from the long journey, please follow the guard to your resting quarters. We will talk again tomorrow.” They were led out by the same people who had taken them to their king. When they entered the even taller building they were led to and brought up to a floor filled with doors and given keys with strange symbols on them they were confused.

“The number on the key belongs to the number on the door.” A young woman said and showed them that the key would only work on the door with the same numbers on them. “Someone will come and bring you food, they will knock on the door. Rest for today, tomorrow Phantom will send somebody to lead you to the town hall for talks.” 

The food they were served later in the day was incredible, spices were used freely as well as meat and a meat-free option. The rooms themselves were fit for a palace and came each with their own bathroom. There was flowing water coming from a pipe above a basin and the tub! Each room had it! They talked together until late in the night, they would need to ask for the technology tomorrow.

Danny likes hanging around John Constantine as a cat. Why? At first, because it would've been pretty funny but now, he's realized he's actually.... Kind of grown to enjoy it, oddly enough?

All he really does is lay himself on the man and Constantine just, has like, zero problem??? He wanted to mess with the guy for his reaction, so he did multiple things to test limits but Constantine still let him stay around?? He made threats of exorcising him but like, Danny came to realize they were just empty threats???

John Constantine is weird.

---

Now, Constantine is well aware there was something more to the little cat that decided to claim him as a piece of furniture one day. Not just for them being a ghost, mind you, but he has a vague feeling there's something more to little ball of fluff that sought to inconvenience him.

He's aware that the first thing he should have done was exorcise it. Release it to the other side so it could go on and reincarnate or whatever with the pleasantry that it would live a better next life.

But he didn't.

Why?

Perhaps because of the vague feeling there was something more to the little prat.

But really it was just because his days felt.... Normal. As normal as they could be for a person like him, anyways.

As much as the little twat tried to inconvenience and make his life ever so annoyingly harder. It wasn't any kind of way that Constantine couldn't... Well.

It was inconvenient and annoying yes, yet at the same time it was entirely inconsequential compared to what he's lived through his whole life.

Hell, if other people take shit from their live cats. He can certainly take it from his ghost ca-

...

When did he start referring to the little prick as his?

This just in the worst couple and Gotham are at it again! Based on this post

Sources state that Danny Fenton was hear at 2 am crying into his phone apologizing to his boyfriend while drunk right after breaking a goon's arm for touching him. He apparently yelled " I have a boyfriend!" after doing so.

So it seems that they are back together. For the 2nd time this week.

DCxDP Persephone 2.0

(Somehow, even when I come up with an angsty scenario it turns into zany comedy hijinks. Send help.)

Cassie, Tim, Kon and Bart are hanging out, just chilling, when a glowing green minotaur pops out of nowhere and yoinks Wonder Girl into another dimension.

Obviously, Cassie is so not down with the whole kidnapping thing, so she starts beating up all the Greek mythological monsters in sight. Soon enough, Pandora pops out of the woodwork and orders everyone to stand down.

Pandora: *sigh* I ordered you to escort her here, not drag her kicking and screaming. Ugh, it's impossible to hire competent help these days. Come child, we have much to discuss.

Cassie: Uh, it's an honor to meet you ma'am, but why am I here?

Pandora: It's quite complicated I'm afraid. To make a long story short, a few years ago the tyrannical ghost king was defeated by a young ghost hero, and by right of conquest the crown passed to him. However, since he has not yet reached the age of majority a regency council was put in place until he is old enough to be formally crowned.

Cassie: What does that have to do with me?

Pandora: You see, your father, Zeus, wishes to make an alliance with this new power...

Cassie: Oh no

Pandora: ...and so he has offered your hand in marriage to the young prince, as he once did Persephone's to Hades.

Cassie: That fucking asshole!

Pandora: And the regency council has accepted on the prince's behalf.

Cassie: *cracks knuckles* So, what's your opinion on patricide?

***

When Cassie meets Danny, she fully expects him to be some pompous asshole.

Danny: I am so fucking sorry!

Cassie: Huh?

Danny: *wrings hands* I'm sorry you got dragged into this mess! This was not my idea! But the council are a bunch of stuck-up jerks who think this is for the good of the realm and...

Cassie: So the wedding is off?

Danny: Well... unfortunately Clockwork is the one who floated the idea? And he only gets directly involved if it's like, end of the world kind of stuff...

Cassie: Who's Clockwork?

Danny: The Master of Time. He uh, helped me prevent a potential future where my soul got merged with that of my arch-nemesis and I miiiight have wiped out all life on Earth. But uh, that timeline is gone and you don't have to worry about it!

Cassie, muttering: Chronos?

Danny: So I think we might be stuck with each other, unless you have an idea on how to get out of this?

Cassie: Well my friends are bound to come rescue me, so...

Danny: Stall?

Cassie: Stall.

Queen Dora, popping in with a dozen handmaidens, a measuring tape and hundreds of dress and fabric samples: ~ Who's ready for a makeover? ~

Cassie: Oh gods just kill me now

***

Cassie and Danny both go full Bridezilla in an effort to delay the wedding, nitpicking everything from the clothes to the flower arrangements.

Cassie: I am not wearing some poofy monstrosity to my wedding. I want a tux! If anyone's gonna wear a dress it's gonna be him.

Danny, posing in front of a mirror: What do you think, can I pull off a mermaid cut?

***

Eventually, they can stall no more and the day of the wedding arrives. Zeus is there to give her away as the father of the bride. Cassie tries to stab him with the cake topper.

The wedding proceeds, they are standing in front of the Observant who is officiating. Cassie is glaring murderously at Zeus. Danny just looks resigned. Suddenly, there's a loud screech and a bang. The team has arrived to crash the party...!

...by literally crash landing the stolen Specter Speeder on top of Zeus.

*smash cut to a flashback of Tim reading the Drs Fentons' research and breaking into Fentonworks*

Tim, Kon and Bart pop out of the smoking wreckage.

Tim: We object!

Observant, outraged: On what grounds?!

Kon: Wonder Girl can't marry the ghost prince, because... because I'm marrying her!

Tim and Bart: Wait what?

Danny: Oh thank fuck *rips off his veil and dress and chucks it at the Observant* Cassie, do you want to marry Superboy?

Cassie: I do!

Danny: Then by the power vested in me by the Crown and Ring, I now pronounce you Super and Wonder. You may kiss the bride or whatever.

Cassie dip kisses Kon in front of the assembled ghost citizenry. Tim and Danny disappear into a broom closet during the wedding reception. Bart demolishes like 90% of the buffet by himself.

***

In a dark room, Clockwork is repeatedly watching Zeus get pancaked in slow motion and chuckles to himself.

Roll Credits

DCxDP Fanfic idea: Rent-a-Scandal

Bruce's identity as Batman is outed on live TV. It was after Joker unmasked him, but thankfully, Clark was fast enough to throw on a spare Batsuit.

They managed to convince most of the public that Bruce had been working as a decoy to distract Joker so that "Batman" could find the rest of the hostages. Most.

There were those pecky few that saw right through their ruse. He needed to do another stunt that would install doubt that Ditzy Party Boy Bruce Wayne could never be Batman.

The thing was his usual antics weren't working. No amount of parties. No alcoholic induced stupidity. And not even multiple women hanging off his arm was making them move away from their observations. They were even catching on that all of those incidents were done on purpose.

He needed to do something fresh, something new, something that would completely overshadow the skeptics who were casting doubt on his facade.

But what?

"How about hiring someone to write up a scandal?" Jason recommended it over dinner. In front of him, he had a manuscript. For the first time, he was going to audition for the lead role in his school plan. Bruce just knows his Jaylad will blow the rest of the computation away. "You can have a writer who thinks you're trying to make some weird mystery party or something."

"It would never work. They would notice I used things I asked them to write as personal scandals. But thank you for the idea, Jaylad." Bruce beams at his son.

"Well...what if you hired someone trustworthy? Like Clark?" Jason counters, but Bruce is already shaking his head.

"Clark specializes in journalism, not public relationships. Besides, his full-time job doesn't give him time to type me up some scandal-"

"I have a guy," Alfred offers as he places an extra plate in front of Jason. At their bafflement, he gives them a secretive smile, much like the kind that would curve on a snake if it had the ability to do so. "He is trustworthy. I have his soul tied in a contact. He wouldn't be able to blab once I command it."

Jason slowly put down his fork. "I-

But Alfred was already moving away, waving a hand over his shoulder. "I'll ring the gent right now. He's your age, Master Bruce, which will mean you can make a new friend."

"Does he really have a soul?" Jason gasps as Alfred vanishes into the manor. Alfred's tiny face is white, which would have been hilarious if it was a white lie. The trouble is, Bruce isn't entirely sure Alfred is lying.

Not that he could tell Jay that. The poor thing was barely getting comfortable in the manor lately. If the boy thought the butler could steal souls, it was back to square one of earning his trust.

"No, no, no, Alfred was joking. He's likely calling someone he trusts-"

A boom bursts across the dining hall as a glowing green portal rips open and out steps a man close to Alfred's age in a purple coat. He's carrying a suitcase and has a typewriter tucked under his arm. A scarf is wrapped around his neck, where Bruce's eyes finally notice the odd grey tint to the man's skin.

He's obviously not human.

"Hello," the stranger sighs after running his green eyes around the room. My name is Ghostwriter, and Alfred Pennyworth commanded me to be your scandal writer. I brought along an assistant who will be playing the second part of all of the situations. This is Danny Phantom; he'll play your secret gay lover."

"Hi!" says a man around Bruce's age to the Ghostwriter's side, a little too cheerfully. He's not human either, as he's glowing like a lightbulb was placed under his skin. His hair was pure white, which also seemed to be glowing in a different shade, and his eyes were a color that was not humanly possible.

He also flouted while the writer stood in place. "Alfred owns my soul as well, but unlike Ghostwriter here, I didn't lose it to him in stripper poker."

"That man counts cards!" Ghostwriter snaps

Jason stood up from his seat, hands held up. "This a lot. I have a play to practice for. Figure it out, B."

His son grabs his manuscript, bows his head a little toward the guests, and scurries right out of the dining hall, leaving Bruce to his fate. Alfred pats Jason's head lovingly as he smiles and passes him through the door. "Oh good, you meet your ghostly pr and secret gay lover. We have a real show stopper with these two, Master Bruce."

You know, Bruce had a good run with the whole Batman thing. Maybe it was time to retire.

"Let's get down to business. What have you written so far, Ghostwriter.?" Inquires Alfred. He makes that satisfied snake smile when the writer glares at him with utter loathing before the man rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers.

In front of Bruce, a pile of papers appears covered in writing. He grabs them out of the air only because it floating dangerously close to his nose.

"I think the best course of action is to play up the fact that Bruce has a secret, then leak some photos of Danny in suggestive poses. You drop on in Wayne Tower's lobby after we allow the rumors to fester with paparazzi." The writer explains, waving his hand to his assistant, who seems too amused by what is being suggested.

"As Phantom or Fenton?" Danny asks to Bruce's confusion.

"Fenton. We want a scandal, not a diplomatic emergency." Ghostwriter scoffs.

Bruce's face screwed up. "What do you mean diplomatic emergency? How so?"

"Oh, I'm the Ghost King," Danny reveals casually as if those words meant anything to Bruce. "If word got back to the ghosts that I was fooling around with a human without the intent to make him my consort, well, things would get dicey."

Alfred's smile turned a tad bit darker. "We wouldn't want that."

Danny's face froze for a few seconds. He stared at Alfred with what could be considered terror and...attraction? He then smiled as softly as a flower. "No, we would not."

Ghostwriter flings himself into the chair next to Bruce. He grabs the meatloaf off of his plate with his bare hands, taking a bite with a sigh. "Don't worry, I've seen this story a thousand times. He may think Alfred is a silver fox, but by the end of it, Danny will be yours."

"What?"

I have a question about the danny x jason ship name

Why is it “dead on main”??? And not something like “doubledead” or something??? Is that ship name already in existence???

Dick x Danny = “DeathDefying”

Tim x Danny = “DeadTired”

Damian x Danny = “DeadSerious”

Jason x Danny = “Dead on Main”???

It’s an entire sentence ewe

I kinda took the ship name for granted for a while then squinted and had an epiphany and spiraled in confusion

Looool This is why Tim never reaches the conclusion that him and Danny are basically dating

Alfred completely thinks that Danny’s actions are absolutely normal -> Every time Tim is finally convinced by the Batfam that maybe there’s something going on between them -> Tim lastly goes to Alfred for his opinion and Alfred just goes “I admire Mr. Fenton’s professionalism.” -> Tim starts doubting batfam again because Alfred doesn’t seem to think there’s anything abnormal.

It’s a cycle.

These two smart dumbasses will take years to realise they’re basically a married couple.

DP x DC Writing Prompt

For whatever reason, Tim hires Danny as a bodyguard/assistant (unaware of the ghost powers until later). Tim only did it for appearances but hey, Danny is actually really good at his job and understands completely that sometimes, Tim just needs to disappear for a bit and that it just happens to coincide with there being a problem in Gotham. Danny even lets Tim drink all the heavily caffeinated coffee he wants and doesn’t try to limit it like Tam tries to do (considering Danny drinks just about the same amount… (Tam tried to have an intervention, it did not work)). It’s going great…

… then Tim realizes that Danny has been bodyguarding him and secretly assisting him while Tim is out as Red Robin (how does Danny know Tim is Red Robin? Who knows). Eventually, Tim learns to accept it and you know what? Danny is a great partner to have… on the field… behind the scenes, that is definitely what Tim meant…

Then one day, while Tim is drinking the coffee Danny prepared for the both of them, he realizes where they both are and has just one question:

“When did Danny become his roommate?”