Why "Unconventional" Daryl Matters

Why "Unconventional" Daryl Matters

Daryl is my favorite male character on television. In fact, he was the first male role model I had after growing up with men who were always quick to anger, shouting at others, breaking things, and throwing tantrums. Norman's portrayal showed me that men have the ability to choose kindness, tenderness, and true love even if nobody taught them how when they were kids. 

Daryl’s “unconventional” masculinity is what makes him so unique. He doesn’t make speeches or push to be the leader. Yes, Rick is a strong character, but I love Daryl because he isn’t Rick or any other male character on the show. Daryl is a trailblazer who breaks several stereotypes. Having spoken to so many other Caryl fans, I know Daryl's backstory and his devotion to Carol give them hope that they too can rise above their trauma.

Because of Norman and Daryl, so many fans feel more comfortable opening up about childhood or sexual abuse despite the stigma surrounding it. Daryl's representation is especially empowering to men who were abused or neglected for not conforming. He showed them what it means to be a kind, emotionally intelligent man. He did that. That's something I hope Norman is very proud of. The writers may have created a powerful emotional arc, but he is Daryl. No other actor could've captured Daryl's nurturing side that effortlessly – sometimes with just a simple look or touch or tone of voice – and balanced it with all of his epic moments. That's all him. 

Most people understand that the purpose of my campaign over the past couple years was to demonstrate Melissa's and Carol's vitality to the show, but that's not all. I was advocating for Daryl's character integrity too. His fierce loyalty, vulnerability, and devotion to Carol all make him heroic in my eyes and they all go hand-in-hand, but when Daryl starts questioning where he belongs after spending only a short time with new characters and when his feelings get buried under layers of subtext, then my investment in him starts to feel misplaced, which hurts a lot because of the personal connection I've made with him. It makes Daryl's character growth from a lone wolf to a committed family man seem fruitless if he can just find a "surrogate" family somewhere else. Do I think the story will ultimately lead to Daryl making that choice? No, but my point is, it isn't clear why he could never choose anyone other than Carol and TF. And it needs to be. Norman said Daryl is someone who "wears his heart on his sleeve." That's the Daryl I root for. That's who I want to see more of. I miss him terribly.

Again, Daryl inspired a generation of young men to refuse the toxic male stereotype, and taught them how to choose kindness and how to love fiercely. Daryl’s love for Carol showed so many women that they deserve to be treated with love and respect by their partners. I'm excited to see more of Daryl who knows where he belongs and isn’t afraid to show his love for Carol. I want the trailblazer who stands up for who he is and doesn’t fall into toxic masculine traps – because that ain’t him.