Picture A Vampire Who Delivers Blood Bags For The Red Cross. They’re Surrounded By Living Blood Bags

trying to decide if i'd rather be a tortoise or a turtle. on the one hand I prefer dry land, on the other hand turtles can breathe out of their cloacae so. it's tricky

I'm not gay, but I AM asexual. If I wasn't targeted for supporting queer people, I would be targeted for never dating (if she's not interested in men, she must be hiding an interest in women! Gasp!).

no i'm a filthy socialist, get your facts straight

*holds a Bedazzler gun to your torso* Show us the kitty or I'll make your spleen pretty

my indoor cat is constantly trying to get outside, and today they briefly succeeded when I was coming in. which means I got the satisfaction of seeing a manic little kitty cat running full throttle out the front doorway only to IMMEDIATELY hit the brakes looney tunes style and do a 180° warp speed back inside upon discovering themself in the midst of a pouring thunderstorm

*pokes head in* hey, I was walking by and I saw someone put up a sign that said "PARTY". Is this invite only, or can I-

all the posts are from August

... oh. Darn.

thinking about that time in math class when the teacher was explaining what a vector is and some girl went “omg just like the guy from despicable me!!”

The real reason millennials are obsessed with avocado toast

for a brief but not insignificant period of time in elementary school, i conflated the word ’avocado’ with ’bravado’. specifically this happened when i learned the term ‘false bravado’. in conclusion, 8-year-old me spent months vaguely assuming there existed a mass conspiracy surrounding the counterfeiting of avocados, and that this was somehow a huge problem the adult world was aware of and struggling to deal with.

I͙ͥ̈ͥ͑͑ ̰͎̺̝̏̽͂͛ȁ͍͍̱̓͆ͩ̈m̲ͤ̈ͫ ̮̗͓̤͗ͥ̌ṃ̦͎̦͈͙͆̓ͪͩ̎̊aͥ̐n͚͒ͥ̊ͧ̈́y͚̙̻̝̲͔̬͒́͗ͥ́̓͊

̼̞̜̣̗͔͆̃̒͋̑I͕̝̹̯̽̇ ͇͍͌ͬ̓̒a̠͉̜̮ͤ̈́̅͛ͮ͗̚ͅm̺̭͇͕̰̓̇͑̔̅͆ͤ ̳͚̞̰̣̓͂̿̿ͪr̋ͨ͗͒́̎͗a̦̜͕͇̠͋̒̂ͫͦͣ̈vͧ̊̇ͬͬ̉̚e͖̩̙̞̱̼̒͌̉̂̏ͨ̋n͓ͭͭͅͅo̘͚͕̿u͖̜͖̞ͪ̉̋s͕͉̦̝͇̝̗ͭ͗̎̈

̖̘̞̃̐I̝̜̝̬̪͙ͤ͛͒ͥ̊ͤͣ ̺͓̖̤͈̪̒̇̈́̉a̍̍̾̈ͪͤṃ̭͇̟̤ͥ̚ ̲̬͍͙̥̼̓͐g̮͎͉̮̐̇̔̀́̂̾ ̯͛̈̃e̲̪̦͚͍͔ͭ̃͗̾ͩ͆̅ͅ ͚̲͙̺͍̣̟ͮͨ̋̄̽̓̑l̥̟̹͈̣̩ ̠̱̍̄a͍̙͑ ́̅̏ͯͩtͣ̅̈ͥͩ̔ ͈̿ͧ̽ͧ̅ͧi͗̅̈̔̊̿̓ ̩̹͕̳̓ͭṇ̖̟̻͔̽ͫ̄ͨ̿

New reblog game: run your url through the neural blender and post it

חג חנוכה שמח

a freilichen chanukah

hanukka alegre

هانوكا سعيد

 حَنوکا مبارک

frohes chanukka

joyeux hanouka

buon chanukkà

bon hanukkà

feliz janucá

vrolijk chanoeka

mutlu hanuka

с счастливой Хануки

срећна Ханука  

Χαρούμενο Χανουκά

修殿節 快樂

हनुका मुबारक हो

happy hanukkah

however you say or spell it, tumblr, may yours be filled with joy and light

Another addition to my list of story ideas to write (eventually... maybe... someday...)

wait so technically vampires are vegetarians

!

Ends up with a hyperfixation on walls, because the dart missed the list entirely

picks a new hyperfixation by putting on a blindfold, spinning three times & throwing a dagger at a list pinned to a dartboard