Xx. Heart To Heart

xxxv. tunnel vision

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE ─ tunnel vision.

❛ we got nothing else to do, and nothing else to lose ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung stood at Sunjae's doorstep, her backpack hanging from one shoulder as her legs shook nervously. The truth was that she was so insanely anxious. It was a foreign feeling to Eunyoung who tends to look at the positive aspect of every situation. But her stupid little crush on Sunjae had her considering all the horrible possibilities by which she could screw up. What if she stuttered and stammered like an idiot? What if she was too distracted and couldn't help Sunjae at all? All these trivial matters occupied her mind as she fidgeted with her clothes.

She then remembered the previous night...

Eunyoung paced around her room biting her lip in frustration. After all the lengths she went to to prevent Sunjae's death, nothing had changed in the future. He was still dead. And time was running out. Depression. Suicide. These words rang in her mind in an endless loop. They made her heart twist and ache unbearably. What could he possibly have been going through for him to make such a decision? 

Fear crept in her mind. The future seemed to be advancing like a hungry beast, ready to take Sunjae away from her once again. Then, all of a sudden, like a light had been turned on in her brain, she had an idea. Her eyes shifted to her window, which was facing Sunjae's. His window was open, and no one seemed to be there inside. 

She scrambled through her drawers and pulled out a blank, blue sheet.

"I know life's tough sometimes. It feels like everything is falling apart and the world has turned it's back. But you need to hold on to hope. Lean on your loved ones. Because they're the ones who are always rooting for you."

She poured her heart out onto the paper and made a bunch of  folds. Eunyoung herself was amazed at her memory and at how her mind suddenly pulled out everything she learnt from some random origami workshop she attended. Everything had gone through one ear and come out through another. But, somehow she seemed to remember just one thing. Paper airplanes. Destiny had been working in strange ways, leading her to Sunjae.

Then, she did one of the most irrational things in her life. She leaned on her window sill and threw the paper airplane as she watched it land inside his house.

Taking in a deep breath, Eunyoung reached out and rang the doorbell. She waited before the blue gate till Sunjae's father emerged from the main entrance of their house and approached her with a wide, toothy grin. Eunyoung returned his smile. It had been a while since she had seen his father and she was glad to see his warm greeting.

"Oh, come in, dear," he said, unlatching the front door.

As they stepped into the house, her father motioned her to sit down. Sitting down on the little sofa in the center of their living room. It was a cozy little dwelling, with warm lamps and light bulbs and a brown carpet lying across the floor.

"So, Eunyoung," his father began, "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to help Sunjae with math," the moment those words fell out of Eunyoung's mouth, Sunjae's father's expression suddenly turned grave. She chuckled at the worry on his face.

"Ah, yes," he said, sounding embarrassed, "It is quite a... ehh... shameful thing. He got an earful from me already."

"Nothing to worry about, really," she said with a small laugh, "He'll catch up soon."

"Well, if there's anyone who can help him, it's you!"

While Eunyoung's ears turned red at Sunjae's blind faith in her abilities, she heard a thudding as Sunjae's tall figure emerged from a flight of stairs. He was dressed in simple, black track pants and a navy blue tshirt, and yet Eunyoung's eyes turned wide. The mere sight of him made her feel like her heart would jump out of her chest.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said sheepishly, shooting her a dimpled smile that she hadn't seen in far too long. His smile never failed to fill her heart with a comfortable warmth that she could easily get used to. A blush crept up her cheeks that she tried her best to hide.

"Nonsense," she waved her hand in front of her face, "Your father is a great conversationalist."

"Pfft!" his dad laughed heartily, "You flatter me."

"Should we get started?" Sunjae interrupted rather impatiently. His dad smiled knowingly, aware of his eagerness to spend time with Eunyoung.

"Oh, yes let's do that."

They made their way up the stairs, then entered Sunjae's bedroom. The door shut with a thud behind them, and they were alone at last. Eunyoung scanned his room briefly, a smile surfacing on her lips. There were trophies, certificates, medals on display and her eyes lingered on the photos of Sunjae. 

"There's a lot of blue in here," she observed. Suddenly, her smile grew wider as she spotted the blue paper from the paper airplane she had sent the previous day.

"My favorite color," Sunjae said, the words basically fumbled out of his mouth. His heart was pounding in his chest, daring to jump out any second. His gaze lingered on Eunyoung. She wore a pair of dark blue, comfortable-looking jeans with a dusty pink top. She looked as pretty as ever, with her long, flowing hair and sparkling eyes. He quickly looked away, feeling the warmth on his face.

They sat down at his desk, and Sunjae's lethargic and sloth-like movement indicated his unwillingness to study. The truth was that if he could, he could sit and stare at Eunyoung in admiration for the rest of his life. Snapping out of his trance, he blinked his eyes rapidly and took out his math textbooks .

"What are your grades like in other subjects?" she inquired, turning to look at him.

"A B is probably the most I've ever gotten," he answered, his ears turning red in shame. This wasn't exactly the side of himself he wanted Eunyoung to know.

The small, rather elegant chuckle that escaped her mouth filled his ears, "You don't have to look so embarrassed, Sunjae, I'm here to help you, not judge you."

There it was again. She had such a way with words, the way she weaved them just the right way. Her words never failed to be a source of strength for him. This newfound vulnerability filled him with a sense of comfortability instead of the usual unease and fear that came with opening up to someone.

"So, what do you hate most about math?"

"Algebra," he said, sounding quite petrified.

"Then let's start with that."

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nana's notes: sunjae's dad being the best wingman ever.

delphi's notes: FEAR OF ALGEBRA IS SO REALL. eunyoung you demon.

next chapter: saturday (out now) list of chapters here!

˚. ♩ i'm the wind in our free-flowing sails ⁺ . and the liquor in our cocktails ⭒ ֗

xxxix. looking back

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CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE ─ looking back.

❛ i vowed i would always be yours if we survived the great war ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"Yumi!"

A jarring, familiar voice jerked me awake, pulling me back to reality. The moment I opened my eyes, the first thing I was met with was my reflection in the black computer screen. I found myself staring at it for a few seconds. The bags under my eyes had become severe again, my skin dull and distressed. The pile of papers and files on the desk in front of me finally made me realize that I was no longer at home, chatting with Eunyoung, but I was at work, at the law firm.

My tired eyes shifted to the person knocking at my door. It was Yunhee, my colleague who worked with me often. I gave her a slow nod as she pushed the glass door of my office open and letting herself in.

"God, Yumi, when was the last time you slept?" she said, sitting down on the chair on the other side of my desk.

I sighed as if to say "Don't even ask."

"Are you here to nag?" I asked simply, running a hand down my face, blinking rapidly in attempt to keep my eyes open, "Because if you are, you better turn around."

"Attorney Kwon is looking for you, and he looks pissed, so you better get on it," she informed matter-of-factly, "He'll be here any minute, actually." She glanced at her watch briefly, then said a quick goodbye and dashed out the door.

My eyes wandered around, scanning my office that had a sense of familiarity that made me feel nauseous. A couple of lights, wooden floors and a huge window behind me. My desk sat in the very middle of the room, looking like a toddler's craft table, with loose sheets flying everywhere. This particular time, coming back to the future felt even more horrible than before. Disappointment weighed me down as I realized how I had done nothing to change Taesung's fate. Reliving graduation was something I didn't know I needed, and I had momentarily felt my heart lighten up. But that moment during my speech...

The sound of Attorney Kwon shoving my office door and barging into my office cut off my thoughts before I could let them spiral. His flushed face, frowning brows and ears that seemed to have steam coming out from them, made me slightly frightened as I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

"Yes, Attorney Kw-"

"What the hell's going on with the defamation case?!" he demanded, "For God's sake, everyone's talking about the scene Hajun caused in court yesterday! How could you be so careless? Despite being his senior!"

I felt the itch in me to fight back and argue, but knowing me, it would probably cost me my job, so all I said to him was, "Sorry, sir. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"You better!" he snapped, before seeing himself out, muttering under his breath.

A sigh of absolute exhaustion left my mouth as I rested my head on my desk. Running my fingers through my hair, I pondered on how pathetic my life had been. Even after getting not one, but two chances to go back into the past, I had changed nearly nothing. My life had become even more miserable, with the added regret that I felt for not being able to do anything differently. For letting opportunities slip away while I sat around like an idiot. Looking back on everything that had happened, I realized that not only had I ruined my own life, but I had also dragged someone down with me. Someone I loved.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Interview with Ryu Sunjae?" I repeated the words that sounded in my ears like an echo of my undeniable love for Sunjae. Just a moment ago, I had been dozing off at my desk, but hearing those words from the head of entertainment department, I felt suddenly awake and alert. I stole a quick look at the calendar on my desk; It read 2nd January, 2023. I had to bite back the gasp that almost left my mouth. He was alive. His fate had changed. The very thought of it made me want to break into tears of pure relief and happiness. It made me want to run through the streets, screaming from joy.

"Yeah, I recommended your name for it," Seoyoon said to me as I realized my celebrations would have to wait. "I just need your confirmation, so it becomes official. Though, if you're not up for it, there are plenty of people willing to do it. I just thought you would like something like this, you know-"

"I'll do it," I blurted out hastily, my voice practically trembling with excitement.

"Great! Just sign here," she handed me a paper. As I scribbled my signature on the piece of paper, my stomach filled with butterflies just like the very first time I met Sunjae. He had signed my CD, and our fingers brushed ever so slightly- and I thought I would explode right there like some sort of nuclear bomb. He was alive. The seemingly stupid paper airplane trick had done it's magic.

I handed the paper to Seoyoon, beaming. She seemed to notice my newfound enthusiasm, and smiled back. "You know, Miss Choi, some of us found that old article you wrote about the swim team of Jagam High School. I hope you don't mind me asking, but is it really you? Did you go to school with the Ryu Sunjae?"

"Yes, it's true," I answered with a chuckle, "It's amazing how you found that. It's been- what? Fifteen years? I was on the newspaper and I was assigned the interview, and that's when I realized how good I was at it- if I do say so myself."

"That's incredible, Miss!" she exclaimed, "No wonder everyone at the office looks up to you. I have to get going, but you're such an inspiration."

"Oh, you're too kind," I smiled, feeling warmth bloom in my heart.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

Leaving the courtroom, feeling as if the very life had been sucked out of me, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Puzzled, I took it out, wondering who would be calling me at that hour when I was just going home. Slightly annoyed, I sat down on one of the benches nearby, only to find it to be an unknown contact. My movement was full of hesitation as I accepted the call.

"Hello, Choi Yumi speaking."

"I need a lawyer."

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nana's notes: y'all have no idea what's coming 🫢

delphi's notes: yumi's dark circles making a comeback

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

vii. desperate measures for desperate times

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CHAPTER SEVEN ─ desperate measures for desperate times.

❛ to live for the hope of it all, cancel plans just in case you'd call. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"I can't believe you left without me this morning," Eunyoung grumbled to Yumi in the cafeteria. When she tried to ask her about it during class, the teacher quickly told her off and she kept her mouth shut for the remaining time.

"Mom told me not to wake you," Yumi explained herself, not batting an eyelid at Eunyoung's accusation, "She saw you asleep on your desk at three in the morning and told me to let you skip school today. You should have gone back to sleep."

"Oh," Eunyoung spoke, her voice became softer as her irritation faded away, "That's so sweet of you two... Thanks."

Yumi gave her a reassuring smile and shrugged, "Don't mention it."

💿

"Hey! Sunjae!" Inhyuk called out to Sunjae in the cafeteria, motioning him to come and sit beside him. Sunjae waved at him, making his way to where Inhyuk sat.

"I didn't see you this morning," Sunjae informed his friend as he took a seat beside him.

"Of course, you didn't," Inhyuk said with a sly smirk, "You were too busy chatting with that pretty girl."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sunjae warned, turning away to hide his flushed face.

"It's alright, I get it," Inhyuk assured him, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder, "What's her name? How do you know her? I've never actually seen you talk to a girl before."

"She interviewed the swim team yesterday," he told him, choosing to ignore his last comment, "I found out she lives above my dad's restaurant."

"Ooh~ so, you guys went home together too?" he cooed.

"There's no need to overreact, it was just a coincidence," Sunjae retorted, feeling heat rush up to his cheeks.

"She's totally my type," Inhyuk told him, "Could you introduce her to me?"

"What?!" his face twisted into a frown, "I can't do that!"

"Why not?!"

"We're not that close yet," he gave a sloppy excuse, "Besides, she's on the school paper, she must be busy. I don't have time to set you up with her, I have my tournament coming up."

"Fine," Inhyuk sulked, "I'll talk to her myself... unless you like her?" He smirked at Sunjae, but at seeing his pink cheeks, his teasing expression twisted into surprise.

"You do!" he exclaimed, his voice full of excitement, "You do like her!"

"Shut up and eat your food!"

💿

"See you at home, then," Eunyoung waved Yumi goodbye as they split up after the end of the school day.

"Bye!"

Eunyoung made her way to the bus stop, dragging her feet along, sighing as she took a seat on one of the benches. 

"Tired?" asked a voice next to her. Startled, she turned to look at the person, smiling on seeing a familiar face, "Oh, it's you."

"Why're you sighing like that?" he questioned her.

"I am kind of tired, now that you mention it," she realized. As if to affirm her suspicion, a yawn escaped her mouth.

"Rough day?"

"No, I didn't sleep much," she told him, "I started working on the interview article and kind of got carried away. That's why I was late this morning. My mom wanted me to sleep in, but a crashing sound woke me up."

Sunjae's lips stretched into a sheepish grin, recalling the incidents of that morning. A parcel had arrived for his dad, which he noticed and decided to bring inside. While attempting to carry them inside, he tripped over his shoelaces and dropped all the boxes, making an obnoxious sound as stainless steel utensils fell out onto the street.

"I'm afraid it was me," Sunjae confessed, "Sorry, I dropped some stuff."

"Oh, don't mind it. I hate skipping school, no matter what the reason is," Eunyoung shrugged it off, "I like the perfect attendance certificate. It's not like you did it on purpose, anyway."

"It was kind of stupid if you ask me," he muttered, "I just tripped and everything fell from my hands."

"Whatever you dropped must have been pretty heavy to make that sound," she observed, "Should you be putting that kind of strain on your shoulder? Does it hurt?"

"Not really," Sunjae's words only rang half true. He could feel a strain on his left shoulder now and then, however, he chose to ignore the fleeting pain, as it would soon subside.

"Maybe you should take it easy," Eunyoung advised gently.

"Maybe," Sunjae's stubbornness rang in Eunyoung's ears as she sulked at his determination to prove he was okay.

"When you're in pain, sometimes admitting that it hurts is harder than enduring the pain in silence," said Eunyoung, looking into his eyes sincerely, "But you feel better after accepting it like a weight's been lifted off your back."

"Why do you worry about me so much?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine curiosity.

"It's because this tournament will be your last!" she blurted out, time stopping around her. As things returned to normal when she went quiet, she looked into Sunjae's eyes, which were full of anticipation.

"I have a gut feeling," she said calmly.

Please hear me out, thought Eunyoung, praying that her words impacted Sunjae enough to change his fate.

💿

Yumi stood at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to arrive. Her eyes darted impatiently from one end of the street to another, wondering when her ride was going to show up. Each passing minute felt like an hour. Her foot tapped on the pavement reflecting her urgency as she glanced anxiously at her watch every few seconds. It was already half an hour past five, and the bus usually arrived at fifteen minutes past five. 

Suddenly, she realised what day it was. It was the day all bus drivers went on strike after four p.m. for god knows what reason. A groan of annoyance escaped her mouth, "How am I supposed to go home now?!"

As if as an answer to her prayers, a red motorcycle screeched to a halt right in front of her. The bike shone in the afternoon sun, and on it sat a boy in a red biker jacket that matched his motorcycle. Taking off his helmet, he revealed his face. 

It was Kim Taesung.

Seeing his messy hair and usual cat-like demeanour caught Yumi off guard as she stumbled a few steps back. Taesung shook his head, fixing a few strands of hair that had gotten stuck in his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, tilting his head to the side to look at her annoyed face, which had turned into one of surprise upon seeing him.

"Bus drivers are on strike from four today," Yumi complained, pulling herself together. She asked herself why she always became so shaken up when she saw him. Her mind couldn't answer her question.

Taesung went silent for a few moments, then said, "Get on."

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nayoung's notes: inhyuk being sunjae's wingman as always. taesung showed up at such a convenient time hehe. hope you liked this chapter!

delphi's notes: the last scene gave me a heart attack ngl. stay tuned ^_~

next chapter: saturday! (out now) list of chapters here!

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

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nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxiv. the start of something new

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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR ─ the start of something new.

❛ you know i want you bad,  show me mercy ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Where were you last night?" Eunyoung asked Yumi as they got on the bus. She couldn't shake off the feeling that she had been kept in the dark about something. Yumi choked out a mock cough to cover up her gasp. She was really hoping to avoid any confrontation- because she hadn't decided how she would deal with it.

Yumi remained silent till they took their usual seat at the back of the bus. Her eyes blinked rapidly, darting from one side to another, frantically trying to come up with an alibi.

"I had plans, so I ate out," she said vaguely; but she knew it wasn't a satisfactory answer.

"Plans with who?" Eunyoung chuckled mockingly, "Since when did you have friends?"

"How nice of you to say that," Yumi snapped sarcastically, "I do have friends now; times change."

"Sure they do," Eunyoung mumbled. It was just a playful comment, but Yumi's words stung more than they should have. After all, there had never been secrets between them. Curiosity grew in her mind as she pondered what could possibly be the secret that Yumi was so determined to keep from her.

💿

"Hey, Eunyoung!"a familiar voice called out to her as she was heading to the newspaper room. She stopped, then turned to find Kim Harin running towards her. It was like a reminder that she had travelled back in time, and hadn't seen these people in ages. It made her reminisce of all the people she once knew, but didn't keep in touch with; and she couldn't help but feel sorry that there was a point where they weren't a part of her life anymore.

Harin had been Eunyoung's closest friend, apart from Yumi, who worked at the newspaper just like her.

"God! I haven't seen you in ages!" she chirped, walking alongside Eunyoung towards the newspaper room, "But it made me realize that I have a popular friend."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you know?" she asked inquisitively, "People gossip about you all the time. I heard about how you rejected Jihoon sunbae. Someone sitting behind me was going on about how she wondered where you got the audacity from. Honestly, I'm glad you did it. Someone had to put him in his place."

"I didn't know people made such a fuss," said Eunyoung, gazing blankly at the empty corridor before them, "But then, again, nothing ever happens around here."

"I know right?! They're just desperate for entertainment," she agreed enthusiastically, "Enough with the gossip, now. I read your article on the swim team and it was fabulous! I can't imagine anyone who could have done it better."

"Thanks," said Eunyoung with a wide grin, "I'm so glad you liked it. I'm also grateful that someone appreciates my writing. You know it means a lot, right?"

"Of course! But I was only stating the facts; There's no one better than you on our team," she beamed.

I couldn't hide my smile as I entered the newspaper room. God knows for how long I was grinning; But one thing I know for sure, is that my childhood was a magical time.

💿

Choi Yumi's Perspective

My feet felt rooted to the ground as I stood before Kim Taesung's front door. It was as if I was paralysed. A million questions swirled through my mind; Was this really a good idea? What would Eunyoung say if she knew what I was up to? Why was I here? Every cell in my body was screaming at me to run away- go home! But I just couldn't; I couldn't take a step forward either.

Suddenly, my hand reached up to slap my face lightly. I realized that what I needed to do was start acting sane. This wasn't a big deal. I was just learning something new, and a friend of mine was helping me out. I heaved a sigh at my odd behaviour and pressed the doorbell.

I cracked my knuckles nervously as I heard footsteps nearing the door. I nearly fell backwards when the door swung open to reveal Taesung's face that stretched into a dimpled grin on seeing me, "You're here, piano girl?"

"I sure am," I said, trying to hide the awkwardness in my voice. It was at moments like this that I realised that among Eunyoung and I, god gave all the social skills to her; even though we weren't related.

He stepped aside, "Come in. And unclench your fists while you're at it. It makes me feel unsafe."

💿

"Put your index finger here."

"Here?"

"Yup. And then your middle finger here- yeah."

"Now?"

"Your ring finger has to be here."

"Is this right?" I asked Taesung. I had lost track of time as minutes slipped through my fingers while I sat in his living room. The silence that was once deafening at the start of our guitar lesson had now turned comfortable. The room would go silent every time we stopped talking and the room would be filled with the soft sound of our breathing. 

Just as I was getting less jittery, I looked up at Taesung who was already looking at me with his beady eyes. We were sitting so close. His arm held the guitar in my hand, brushing against my back ever so slightly. In my determination and focus, I never batted an eye at our proximity and I suddenly became conscious of it.  I felt my breath hitch as a warmth crept up my face. Once again, an unnatural stillness settled in the room. The both of us seemed to be holding our breaths, waiting. 

I tore away first, fixing my gaze on the coffee table in front of the couch, letting go of the guitar. He lunged to prevent it from crashing to the floor, "It's only your first lesson. I think it's a bit early to break the guitar so soon, don't you?"

Any reply I may have come up with me disappeared on the tip of my tongue.

"It's six-thirty already, should we call it a day?" he asked, looking at the clock.

"Yeah..." I replied, wide-eyed, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Unless you run away," he said, "And considering that look on your face, I would say it's very likely."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: eunyoung having her nostalgia moment and then yumi's having a quarter-life crisis.

delphi's notes: a cookie to the person who guesses where the lyrics are from.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

back, back, backstabber ، ˖ . ° (>﹏<) . . .

✰ㅤ۪ 𓈒 ⋆ i'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck.

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

oc by @the-one-and-only-delphi

i am free at long last

my exam is finally over!!!! *intense clapping* you know what that means? TOWARDS YOU is back!! chapter fifty-three will be out on 4th april (friday) in the meantime, i'm working on the following chapters as well :)

@the-one-and-only-delphi and i are working on other things to put out as well, so stay tuned as always <3 remember to interact with my stories so i can get to know the wonderful people who read and like my work ❤️

xxxvii. home is where the heart is

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN ─ home is where the heart is.

❛ i know it's always about me, i love you, i'm sorry ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Every cell in my body seemed to be screaming at me to run. To go back home. But, somehow I felt like my feet were rooted to the ground as I stood in the deserted playground. A tall streetlight peered over the area, which was the only source of illumination on that moonless night. The stars had disappeared from the sky, as if to express their disapproval at my irrational decision. I wasn't able to control myself. I had let my curiosity get the better of me, and I had showed up at the spot my father decided would be our meeting spot.

I wanted to believe so badly that he had changed. That he was trying to set things right. There was a part of me that wanted to meet him and tell him that I missed him. And that if he wanted to come back, I would let him. I wanted to believe that I was worthy, and maybe I could finally have a proper family in the stereotypical way. I had spent my entire life watching kids get treated with love and care by their fathers, and not once had I experienced such a bond.

Then, I spotted him. His face had weathered and become worn due to time, but it was undoubtedly him. Chiseled, sharp features with curly, messy hair that hung around his eyes. His previously clean shaven face had now grown a beard. He flashed a smile, approaching me and siting down on the bench next where I was standing.

"You've grown up so well," he whispered.

The pride in his voice made my heart swell with a strange kind of warmth. "Mom did a good job, huh?"

"That, she did," he agreed, the weary smile on his face never ceasing. It was then that I noticed the bags under his eyes.

"You seem tired," I observed, worried.

"It's nothing," he said rather abruptly. The smile suddenly fell from his face and his blinking gaze wandered, pretending to scan their surroundings. I found his sudden shift in behavior quite strange, and a confused frown formed on my face. He turned to me again, but didn't look in my eyes.

"Eunyoung, actually," He began, rubbing his hands against each other, thinking of what to say.

"What is it?"

"I have a favor to ask you," he mumbled out, but Eunyoung heard his voice sound loud and clear, ringing in her ears, "I'm actually in a lot of debt right now. I can barely afford my rent, and everything is falling apart. If you could just talk to your mother and convince her-"

"Stop!" I cried out, my voice shaking with rage and disappointment. My eyes burned with tears and I had to gather all my strength to speak, "Just- just, shut up. I should have known. Why else would you come back? Have you ever stopped to think how much damage you caused? You can't just waltz back into our life and expect that we'll welcome you with open arms. I was the idiot to believe anything you said. Just, get lost, I swear!"

"But Eunyoung, we're family?"

"Family?" I repeated, my voice trembling, as tears began spilling out of my eyes, "You don't get to call me or mom your family. You lost that privilege the moment you packed your bags and left home."

He opened his mouth to spit out another pathetic excuse, but I had finally had enough. I bolted out of there, mustering all the willingness inside me to get away from him. The tears spilled out uncontrollably, blurring my vision as my legs propelled me forward in the direction of home.

 💿

Even as I reached Sunjae's dad's restaurant, I couldn't stop crying. All my hopes had been shattered by my father's careless words and demeanor. I heaved another heavy sob, that choked up my throat and made my heart ache with uncontrollable sorrow. 

Instead of going home, I went the opposite way, stopping near a wall where I was sure no one I know could find me. My knees feeling suddenly weak and wobbly, I sat down right on the pavement and buried my head in my knees. I felt my tears soak my pants but none of that mattered then. My weeping sounded too loud in the deserted alleyway as I started to feel physical pain too. I couldn't believe I had been naive enough to fall into such a trap. Even after my mother warned me...

"Eunyoung?" the oh-so-familiar voice sent a jolt through my body as I raised my head slowly, trying to make sure I heard correctly. I was right. There I was, face to face with a concerned Sunjae looking at me with furrowed brows and glassy eyes full of worry and confusion. I suddenly felt embarrassed; Ashamed that he had to see me like this- falling apart. I stood up hastily, trying to hide my face and blink away my tears.

"Sunjae..." Another sob choked me as the words refused to roll off my tongue. He seemed to understand in that moment. Slowly, he moved towards me and reached out his hand to pull me by the waist into his warm embrace. My tears nearly evaporated as heat crept up my face. My head rested gently on his shoulder as I soaked up all the comfort he gave me. His grip around my waist tightened as I felt his hand caress my head.

Sunjae seemed to have this superpower whenever he was around. All my worries would warp and dissolve into nothingness and my heart would instantly lighten. Every little touch sent sparks flying across my skin, making me feel giddy but at the same time compelling me to give in. Around him, I wasn't afraid to be vulnerable. My trust for him was like an instinct I couldn't fight no matter how much I tried. That was probably why, before I could comprehend what was happening, the moment his caring voice asked, "What's wrong?" I poured my heart out, never letting go of him.

The whole time I spilled my greatest worries out to him, he never let go of my heart. His firm yet gentle grip offered solace I didn't believe anyone could give. 

"Seeing someone as optimistic and cheerful as you cry is heartbreaking, Eunyoung. He doesn't deserve your tears. Focus your energy on those you love. And on those who love you."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: the way sunjae basically said i love you-

delphi's notes: everyone deserves a sunjae in their lives

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

Megumi fushiguro x reader fluff!!

Drabble in the rain.

The rain had only been a faint drizzle when you and Megumi left campus, hardly worth noticing let alone taking out your umbrella. But as you both continued walking, the sky darkened, clouds rolling in like a heavy blanket over the city, and the drizzle transformed into a full on  downpour. Droplets  of water struck the pavement with rhythmic taps, filling the air with a fresh, earthy scent that followed every storm. Luckily, Megumi had remembered an umbrella, even though it was barely large enough to keep you both fully dry.

Megumi walked with his head slightly down, his shoulder brushing against yours as you both attempted to stay under the small umbrella. He seemed quiet, even more so than usual, with a hint of tension in his shoulders. You glanced at him, half-wondering what was going through his mind, but he avoided your gaze, focusing intently on the ground.

For Megumi, rainy days have always been an annoyance. Not only did the downpour dampen his mood, but it also affected his shikigami. Summoning them under rain-soaked skies always felt like a gamble. His demon dogs especially were nearly useless in the rain not because they couldn’t perform, but because they were constantly distracted by it. The moment he summoned them, they’d perk up at the raindrops, sniffing the damp air before running around at insane speeds.

No matter how focused Megumi tried to be, the dogs would inevitably start jumping in puddles or chasing the steady drips from overhanging branches. He’d have to shout at them, trying to pull their attention back on the task at hand, but it was like yelling at a pair of stubborn kids who couldn’t resist the temptation of splashing around in the rain. And in battles, it was even worse iif there was the slightest break in the action, his demon dogs would forget about the fight entirely, diving back into whatever small pools of rainwater they could find.

Every so often, your hand would brush against his as you both adjusted yourselves under the umbrella. Each touch made his heart skip a beat, and he felt flustered, uncharacteristically nervous.

When he glanced sideways at you, you were gazing up at the rain falling around you, and he could tell by the faint smile on your face that you were enjoying the cool drizzle on the arm that was slightly exposed to the end of the umbrella and he found himself focusing on every detail how the raindrops glistened on your skin, how your expression seemed so peaceful.

 You suddenly turned your head, almost as if you knew he was watching you. As you caught his gaze, you gave him a mischievous grin. “Megumi… will you summon your demon dogs? Just for a bit?”

He blinked, taken aback. “You want me to… in the rain?”

“Yeah!” you replied, the excitement in your voice quite obvious. “You might not like getting wet but they’d probably have fun, right?”

The both of you stopped in your tracks. He looked at you for a moment, his mouth opened ready to argue about the dogs’ tendency to get sidetracked in the rain. But then he gave a small, resigned sigh, realizing he couldn’t deny you.

With his hands clasped together and a murmur, the shadowy forms of his demon dogs appeared beside you, ears perked and eyes bright .Quickly recognizing that there was no threat in sight and it was just you and Megumi, they quickly started circling the two of you,

They quickly looked around, a little hesitant at first, sniffing the air with caution, but the second they felt the rain on their fur, their demeanor changed. They jumped excitedly, darting off into nearby puddles, kicking up tiny strings of water as they splashed around.

You laughed in delight, immediately crouching down and calling to them. They padded over, tails wagging, allowing you to pet them, Megumi watched you, feeling strange. You were so gentle with them, stroking their damp fur, laughing as they nudged your hand, soaking up every bit of attention you offered.

“You’re so cute!” you cooed, scratching one of them behind the ears. They leaned into your touch, clearly enjoying themselves, even if they’d typically rather be dry. The joy was infectious, and before he knew it, Megumi found himself slightly  smiling, too. The dogs barked happily, shuffling around you, and it felt like all the worries of the world had been washed away with the rain.

As you looked up at him, still crouched next to one of the dogs, your smile was so bright, so full of warmth, that it struck him. For a moment, he forgot where he was, forgot the rain, forgot the chill in the air.

Without thinking, he stepped closer,his fists drawing crescent shapes on his palm and he clutched them in the pockets of his hoodie, his voice soft and steady, though his heart was racing. “I think… I’m in love with you.”

Your eyes widened, and the rain continued to fall around you, the world growing even quieter as if to hold this moment still. The dogs were still scurrying around your feet, but your attention wasnt on them this time.

You rose slowly, the surprise on your face melting into something warmer, something softer. “You mean that, Megumi?”

He nodded, feeling more vulnerable than he ever had. “Yeah. I do.”

A small laugh escaped you, and without another word, you closed the distance between you, wrapping him in a gentle hug. He hugged back the umbrella now tilted sideways, His demon dogs barked excitedly, as if they, too, sensed the significance of the moment.

For the first time, Megumi didn’t mind the rain.