Ibagrizan - Ibagrizan

vein... is beautiful.

xia fei noticed it the first time they've met. long hair, so soft, yet in such brave colour. what a shame his hair is always braided. xia fei has never seen vein with his hair down. but he badly wants to.

vein is beautiful.

xia fei noticed it the first time they've met. playful eyes, looking at him. mysterious, yet kind. red eyes that see everything, even the slightest detail. long lashes cover them whenever vein's irritated, tired or amused by what xia fei's said. but sometimes, only sometimes, the red eyes are happily looking at him.

vein is beautiful, truly.

xia fei noticed it the first time they've met. vein's elegant clothes and the way he wears them. full of pride. full of grace. full of confidence. whenever he's passing by someone, their eyes follow him. and vein knows that because he knows everything.

vein is beautiful. but he doesn't look like that all the time.

there're these days where small dots of blood stain the white fabric of his shirt. it's not often, but it happens. xia fei pretends to see nothing because sometimes it's easier this way. vein never tells him what's going on. he usually puts on his long, black coat and tries his best to cover the blood.

that night when after a tiring day he'd finally came home, he's noticed he has a guest. and not just any guest. the familiar black coat hanging in the hallway. the elegant shoes in the hallway. and also vein's perfumes xia fei could scent in the hallway.

the bathroom light is on. the door is open. xia fei goes there.

vein is beautiful, yet full of mysteries.

in the bathroom vein stands next to the sink. the water is running down. however, the boss hasn't noticed him, yet. vein's too busy washing his dirtied by blood hands to care bout his surroundings. xia fei comes even closer, careful not to make any sound.

but he fails. vein instantly turns around and when he spots xia fei, something like embarrassment shows up on his face. only for a second. there's blood on his face, on his right cheek and forehead. but xia fei doesn't care because vein finally has his hair down.

when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,

I want to bring to your attention the story of Ameera Alanqar (@ameera-anq)

She is a 23 year old girl who has had to step up and take care of her family after her father passed away from coronavirus early in the pandemic 3 years ago. And she was doing this while pursuing a master's degree in data science, working as a teacher's assistant, and as a programmer.

Her life before the destruction of Gaza

(ID in Alt)

Her life after

(ID in Alt)

Her family now lives in tents in a refugee camp after losing everything they own. Not to mention that her mother is suffering from high blood pressure and diabetes which is complicated by the conditions that their family is living in, from lack of healthcare, to lack of clean water and food.

Ameera is seeking to help her family evacuate Gaza, but she needs your help to do so. She is seeking to raise €20,000 and has raised very few donations so far. Please donate. Any amount would go to helping Ameera achieve her goal.

Don't forget to share and follow Ameera's tumblr for more updates!

gofundme.com

Donate to Amira's Story: Between Hope and Resilience - A Call for Soli, organized by Abdallah Alanqar

When sorrow and difficulties strike hard, hope becomes the lo… Abdallah Alanqar needs your support for Amira's Story: Between Hope and Resil

Please stop and listen to our painful story and help me save the family 🇵🇸🇵🇸

Help me get my father and mother out and secure their lives

The story of my father and mother who suffered from illness and lived under the wall of a tent

“The tent was their only shelter. Its winter wall was made of threadbare fabric that did not protect them from the cold or summer heat. Inside, they were lying on a thin mattress, two defeated bodies suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure. They woke up every day to the sound of chronic pain and dreams. That relaxes with every breath.

gofundme.com

Donate to Please Save What's Left of My Family, organized by Marleen Tipu

Hello my dears, I hope you are well. Please help me. I, Mahmoud Baalou, have gon… Marleen Tipu needs your support for Please Save What's

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Itoshi Rin and Sae: a story in three parts

alternatively: how having a brother complex can ruin your life (but it's mostly that you both just have terrible personalities)

So in the midst of the world cup finals last week, I remembered—in a frenzy or some state like it—of the existence of the edgy soccer manga Blue Lock. And so I read it. And it sure was edgy.

One of the things that stood out to me were the Itoshi brothers, Rin and Sae, and how most of their relationship, its highs and its lows, were predicated on Rin simply having the world's biggest brother complex.

By the way: general spoiler warning for the manga up until about the VS Japan U-20 match (around ch 147).

Prologue

Before we get any sense of backstory for them, we're introduced to the Itoshi brothers on different occasions.

In ch 4, we first meet Itoshi Sae, a genius soccer player who considered to be the best in Japan. The first impression we get of him is that he has a terrible personality. and a foul mouth. He has no interest in entertaining the media or giving any serious to interviews, and he does not hold back on his arrogant demeanor, though in his case, it's actually justified by his ridiculous skill.

Rin is introduced much later than his brother, during the second selection arc, and is someone who is also incredibly skilled. While most of his motivations seem shrouded in mystery, we know that Rin is self sufficient and dislikes to rely on others.

Oh and I guess there's also his deal with his brother.

oh yeah rin-chan seems weirdly more on edge at the mention of his brother? haha i'm sure this means nothing

Rising Action

In ch 123, the curtain is pulled back.

Itoshi Rin loves his brother very much, loved his brother very much; he admired him above all else, and strove to become just like him in the future.

Even as a little kid, Sae has had his terrible personality: he already tells his interviewers to eat shit and doesn't hold back his arrogant attitude. Most importantly, however, is how, above everything else, he hates to lose.

A young Sae takes it personally when Rin is the one to get the lucky ice cream. i'm with him on this one i would also try to justify myself too much when my brother would get the lucky items. curse him.

But those things don't mean much at this stage, where Rin and Sae stick with each other, as close as two coats of paint. Sae obviously dotes on his younger brother and treats him nicely, which contrasts with his demeanor with others. So when they both notice that Rin also has the skills in soccer, instead of being mad at Rin for intervening during his game, Sae proposes that he plays with him.

how heartwarming. im sure these siblings will keep their close relationship in the future haha

And so they do.

For the few years to come, the Itoshi brothers are an unbeatable striker duo. They share a dream: to become the best strikers in the world, with Sae as the number 1 and Rin as the number 2.

They're quite close, and have trust in each other's skill. When Sae comments negatively on Rin's play, it feels more like constructive criticism (and even playful banter), rather than insult.

Sidenote, it's interesting to compare the brothers' different approaches to playing soccer.

For Rin, he mostly relies on his instincts. It's something I may have not mentionned earlier, but one of the defining aspects of Rin is that he's a character defined by his incredible luck. It's present in the lucky ice cream he kept getting, in the fact that he was born as the younger brother to the talented Itoshi Sae, and of course, in his way of playing soccer.

a frustrated Isagi asks Rin what he's missing (ch86)

Sae, on the other hand, doesn't have as much luck. He keeps getting the wrong ice cream and he plays in a much more methodical manner: Sae actively works hard to reach his goal, while Rin allows himself to be caught along his brother's current.

dependency

Regardless, Sae eventually gets scouted for his skill and goes away to Madrid.

In the meantime, Rin keeps holding onto the dream, the promise, he had with Sae. Though, even when he works hard for his dream, he does so by playing as Sae's replacement, in order to catch up to his brother. All the while, he keeps holding onto the idealized version of his brother that he has in his head.

Turning Point

After four long years, Sae suddenly comes back and,

He's exhausted. Rin points out how he lost some weight, but Sae also has prominent eye bags, and his face is sunken. Most importantly, he lacks the vigor he had when he left Japan.

It's also important to point out that Sae had come back earlier than expected, yet his first thought was to go see his little brother and inform him of the change in his dream. Because to him, it's important that Rin knows this; because that mutual dream of theirs is what matters the most to them.

And so he tells Rin of his newfound realization and decision. The world out there is huge, and there are plenty of more talented players out there, even better than the unbeatable Itoshi Sae, as strikers.

So, Sae decides that he's now striving to become the number 1 midfielder in the world, instead of the best striker.

And Rin...

He takes the news very badly.

Because, to Rin, all he's hearing is that his unbeatable brother, the one who hates to lose above everything else, has resigned himself from his dream of becoming no 1 striker, simply because there are others that are better than him.

To Rin, his brother had basically admitted that he's not actually the best.

Understandibly, it shatters Rin, as well as his idealized and out-of-date image of his beloved, talented, cool, older brother. He can't bring himself to accept what Sae is saying, so instead, he aggressively rejects this "new" Sae in front of him, and he refuses to ackowledge him anymore.

The thing is, though, not much has actually changed.

His older brother is the same victory-loving, defeat-hating Sae as he was before he played in Madrid; he's still the same Sae who dotes on his younger brother and wants to see him grow; he's still the same Sae who wants to become the best soccer player in the world.

All that has changed is that he saw that he plays better as midfield, so he changed positions.

To Rin, it doesn't make sense that his unbeatable older brother would change this part of his dream. To him, the very fact that Sae altered his plan is the same as giving up. He's still childish and has an all-or-nothing mindset.

But Sae, who is a bit older and who has now experienced the world, doesn't understand why Rin is so upset. After all, he still wants to be number one, and he still wants his brother by his side.

Rin retaliates.

as a way to deal with their argument, sae challenges rin

Admitedly, the stakes of their 1v1 are ridiculous, but a part of Sae wants to keep on believing in this childish dream of them becoming the best strikers. After all, it's his talented younger brother. Maybe there is a chance.

But there is none.

And it's when Rin becomes so desperate that Sae finally loses his patience and tries to knock some sense back to him. Because Sae is exhausted at this point, and his younger brother is spouting childish things. Sae wanted him to realize that, sometimes, what you're best at may not be what you initially believed it to be: something which Rin seemed incapable of accepting.

admitedly, he's being very mean about it. I guess he finally got over giving rin nice treatment just for being his little brother

He gets angry at Rin. He tells Rin to quit, because to Sae, this dream he has is something that he's been actively working for and advancing in. Meanwhile, Rin tells him that he was his sole reason for playing all this time. And it's not enough, because it's such a fickle reason.

The world is large and there are so many better players out there, that such a lukewarm reason meant that Rin was never serious to begin with.

So now, it's Sae's turn to reject his brother.

Outcome

All that their interaction in the snow had showed Sae was that his brother was not actually serious about football, after all. And because he's not serious, because he's so lukewarm, Rin will never reach Sae's level.

The thing is, Rin does outsmart his brother in one critical instant, though neither one of them meaningfully acknowledge it

The main problem with Rin is, well, his huge brother complex.

Okay, well, more seriously, Rin's biggest problem is that he bases his self-worth on his brother. Even when they officially separate, Rin's motivation for playing football is still centered on Sae. Actually, I don't think you can say that his initial reason changed that much.

As easily as Rin could pretend it, he can't think that his beloved brother being nice when they were younger was all just a lie. Because it wasn't. So now he's mad at Sae for turning his life upside down and leading down this path.

He claims he wants revenge against his brother.

ch 125

Rin says that he wants to break Sae "into pieces" and that he wants to destroy his dream, but what is the dream that he's talking about? is it the one about being the number one player, regardless of position? Or is it just that Rin wants to go back to those days they were playing together?

I don't think even Rin himself knows entirely.

His reason for playing has always been Sae. It hasn't changed: it's always been his brother. And truth be told, all Rin really wants is to gain back the affection of his brother.

To come back to the Japan U-20 match, Rin says that he wants to be his own person, that he doesn't want to be defined by his relationship to others. But he also holds onto any bit of affection he may get from Sae.

So much for a guy who claims that he hates his brother.

He allows his hostile exterior to break a bit after the match against the Japan U-20 team. For God's sake, he's so hopeful and wide eyed that Sae finally, finally sees how far he's come. That he'd compliment him for the first time in a lifetime,

but no.

rip rin-chan I hope one day he actually compliments you

Epilogue?

Besides the fact that Rin's resentment towards Isagi has grown tenfold now that the latter managed to snatch a compliment from his brother, there isn't more that has been added to their relationship after their match.

Honestly, despite all this meta that I wrote,

I'm still not over the fact that Rin's mysterious and tragic deal was that he simply has the world's biggest brocon and heavily depends on his brother's approval and love.

I don't know who needs to hear this but your brain is lying to you and you don't need to wait until there's a round number on the clock to go the fuck to bed or start that project or eat a meal.

Get up and do it now.

All eyes on Rafah