Me: *raise Eyebrow, Squints A Little At The Art* I Wonder... *decides To Raise Brightness* There Now

Summary: My farmer, Isaria invites Caldarus to the Shooting Star Festival, offering him a rare moment of peace beneath the starlit sky. As they watch the stars fall, they share quiet conversations about fate, memory, and what truly matters. In the hush of the night, something unspoken lingers between them. a warmth, a connection, a fleeting glimpse of something more.

The Shooting Star Festival had arrived, painting the night sky with shimmering trails of light. The air was thick with the scent of earth and pine, the cool summer breeze carrying the distant laughter and murmured wishes of the townsfolk gathered in Mistria’s heart. Yet, Isaria found herself far from the bustling celebration, her path winding deep into the woods where the ancient temple lay hidden beneath the moon’s gentle glow. In her hands, she held a delicate star-shaped brooch, its polished surface glinting under the celestial glow. It was a token of invitation, a gesture she hoped a certain guardian dragon would accept, now that he stood in his physical form, bound to the earth in a way he had not been for centuries.

Her heart quickened as she approached the temple’s clearing, where the draconic guardian stood beneath the branches. He was a vision against the night, his long turquoise hair cascading over his shoulders like silk spun from the ocean’s depths, his golden eyes reflecting the starlight above. There was something otherworldly about him still, despite the humanity he now carried, as if the very fabric of time wove around him differently.

Isaria stepped forward, extending the brooch toward him. “I thought you might like to have this.” she said, her voice steady but carrying an underlying sincerity.

Caldarus took the brooch carefully, his fingers brushing against hers for the briefest moment. He examined the design, his expression shifting from curiosity to recognition. “A brooch? Now where have I seen this design before?” He paused, lost in thought, before his eyes widened in recognition. “Ah! Are you asking me to join you tonight to watch the stars? I—” He hesitated, his voice softer now, touched by something that almost resembled wonder. “I gratefully accept your invitation.”

A small smile curved Isaria’s lips. “I’m glad.” she admitted, feeling a weight she hadn’t noticed lift from her chest.

Caldarus nodded solemnly before glancing toward the trees. “I will need to guide you through a secret path in the woods to reach the summit, for I should not stray too far from its protection in my current state.”

“I understand.” she assured him. “I’ll follow wherever you lead.”

His expression softened at that, something unreadable flickering in his gaze before he inclined his head. “Do not worry, Isaria, I will take care to conserve my energy. Let us meet tonight at 8 PM. I am looking forward to it.”

And so, at the appointed time, Isaria found herself beside him once more, the two ascending the hidden trail that wound its way up through the dense canopy. The climb was steep, but with each step, the trees thinned, revealing the heavens in their full, breathtaking expanse. When they finally emerged at the summit, a vast stretch of night unfolded before them, endless and glittering, the stars pulsing like embers scattered across the dark.

Caldarus stood still for a long moment, gazing outward with an expression of quiet awe, his golden eyes reflecting the celestial glow above. The sky painted in endless shades of indigo and silver, stretched vast and unbroken before them, alight with the brilliance of countless stars. He exhaled softly, his voice barely more than a whisper carried by the wind.

“I wonder…” he murmured, more to himself than to her, his tone laced with something akin to longing. “How long has it been since I last saw this particular view?”

Isaria turned to him, watching how the starlight illuminated his features, casting an almost ethereal glow upon his skin. He looked as if he belonged to the night itself, a being woven from shadow and light, standing at the precipice of something long-forgotten. There was a stillness in him, as though he were caught between memory and reality, his presence both grounded and untethered all at once.

“Does it feel familiar?” she asked softly, her voice gentle against the hush of the wind.

For a moment he did not answer, his gaze remaining fixed upon the heavens as if searching for something just out of reach. When he finally spoke, his words were measured, careful.

“Perhaps.” he admitted, a slow breath leaving him. “Though time distorts memory in strange ways.”

A comfortable silence settled between them, filled only by the whisper of the breeze and the distant rustle of the trees. The night was alive with the quiet hum of existence, the kind of silence that spoke louder than words. Above them, the sky continued its celestial dance, streaks of silver and gold cascading in fleeting brilliance.

Then, after a moment, Caldarus turned his golden gaze back to her, something unspoken lingering in his expression.

“Thank you for inviting me out here this evening, Isaria.”

His words, though simple, carried a weight that settled deep within her chest. There was a sincerity in his voice that made her smile, warmth blooming beneath her chest like the soft flicker of candlelight.

“I am glad to see this custom continues to withstand the passage of time.” he continued, his voice quieter now, touched with reverence. “Mistrians once referred to the practice as Starbinding, you know. An apt name, indeed. Humans, despite being mortal or perhaps because they are mortal, tend to be particularly sensitive to the bonds that their souls form throughout their lifetimes.”

Isaria tilted her head slightly, the words stirring something within her, a quiet curiosity threading through her thoughts. “So it really binds people together?”

Caldarus let out a soft chuckle, the sound low and rich, carrying an almost wistful note. “Well, think of it this way.” he said, his gaze returning to the sky. “You will encounter many souls on the journey through this life. Some will slip by the edges without much notice... and others.”

His voice faltered for the briefest moment, and for the first time that evening, a faint blush dusted his cheeks. The subtle shift did not go unnoticed, and Isaria found herself watching him with quiet amusement as he quickly cleared his throat, regaining his composure.

“Mind you, that is not to say that every connection is a joyful one.” he continued, his voice steadier now, though something unspoken lingered beneath his words. “Every hero’s story needs a villain, after all. And of course… some souls you encounter are unable or unwilling to see your light.”

Isaria frowned slightly, considering his words. The weight of them pressed against her thoughts, stirring emotions she could not quite place. After a moment, she met his gaze, searching for something she was not sure she would find.

“But the ones that are meant to… always do?” she asked, her voice quiet yet certain.

His golden eyes softened, and for a moment, the distant expression he often carried seemed to fade, replaced by something far more tender.

“Yes.”

They fell into silence once more, though this time, it felt different, deeper, as though something unspoken had settled between them, threading its way through the fabric of the moment. Together, they watched as the stars continued their descent, luminous streaks painting the heavens in fleeting brilliance. Eventually, Caldarus turned his attention back to her, studying her with a contemplative look as though seeing something beyond what was before him.

“I suppose that is where this tradition comes into play.” he mused, his voice almost thoughtful. “Two souls, each casting their light with intention. Combined with the starlight above. It creates quite the beacon, you see. Guiding us to each other across many lifetimes.”

Isaria listened, his words settling deep within her, stirring an ache of familiarity she could not explain. There was something poetic about it, something that made her chest tighten in a way she did not fully understand.

Before she could speak, he exhaled, his voice laced with regret. “Forgive me… I wish that my memory was clearer. I cannot recall if we stood here together once, in another life.”

She turned to him, her eyes warm with quiet understanding as she met his gaze. A small, knowing smile touched her lips. “It’s okay.” she said softly. “I don’t recall either.”

For a moment, Caldarus simply stared at her, as if trying to process her words. Then a chuckle escaped him, soft at first then growing into something more real, more open. It was rare to see him like this, unguarded and free. The sight of it made Isaria laugh too, her voice light and natural against the quiet night.

He looked at her then, as if trying to remember something just out of reach. “Isaria…” he murmured, as though her name itself might unlock a hidden memory. His voice held something gentle, almost grateful, like he hadn’t expected her answer but found comfort in it all the same.

She only chuckled again, giving a small shrug. There was no need to chase something they couldn’t remember. Not now. Not when this moment was enough.

Caldarus watched her for a little longer before another laugh slipped from him, deeper this time, filled with genuine amusement. He shook his head slightly, a rare smile still lingering on his face. His laughter blended into the quiet sounds of the forest, the rustling leaves, the distant chirping of insects making the night feel more alive.

Her response had surprised him. Most people held tightly to the past, always searching for meaning, hoping to understand the bonds that tied them to others. But Isaria didn’t. She wasn’t afraid of not knowing. She wasn’t desperate for answers. And somehow, that was comforting.

Maybe that was why he laughed. Because for once, he didn’t have to know everything. He didn’t have to search for proof. He could just… be.

Finally, his laughter faded, and his golden eyes softened as they met hers again. “I suppose this kind of uncertainty is to be expected from a mortal—” He hesitated, then quickly corrected himself, his voice quieter now. “From a mortal perspective.”

A short pause followed, the space between them filled with unspoken thoughts. Then, as if making a decision, he spoke again, his voice calm yet certain. “In that case… I will choose to believe.”

She tilted her head slightly, curiosity flickering across her features. “Believe what?”

Caldarus’s golden eyes softened, his gaze steady as if weighing his next words carefully. “That we, like the stars, have simply returned at the appointed time…”

His voice was quiet, yet it carried a certainty that settled between them, delicate yet powerful, as though he had spoken some ancient truth. The meaning behind his words lingered in the space between them, unspoken yet understood. They held each other’s gaze, and in that silence, something intangible passed between them, something that did not rely on memory or logic but on a feeling, deep and undeniable.

The night air was cool, carrying the distant sounds of the forest, the rustling of leaves, the occasional call of an unseen creature. For a moment, it felt as though the world had shrunk to just the two of them beneath the vast sky, standing in the quiet presence of something greater than themselves.

Then, just as the moment threatened to settle into something almost tangible, a faint tremor ran through Caldarus’s frame.

“Ah.”

The sound was barely more than a breath, but it was enough to break the stillness. Isaria’s brows knitted together, concern flashing in her eyes. “Caldarus?”

He did not answer right away. His posture remained composed, his expression as measured as ever, but there was something different now. A weariness in the way he stood, a subtle tension beneath his usual grace. When he finally spoke, his voice was steady, but there was a quiet strain beneath it. “My body...I am beginning to feel somewhat fatigued.”

Isaria’s heart clenched at his words. Without hesitation, she stepped closer, her voice laced with quiet urgency. “Are you alright?”

Caldarus met her gaze and offered a small, reassuring smile, but it did little to ease the worry pressing against her chest. “Do not trouble yourself.” he said gently. “I am simply not yet accustomed to leaving the protection of the woods. I-I just need a moment.”

She watched him closely as he shifted slightly, attempting to straighten, but she did not miss the faint unsteadiness in his movements. The night’s quiet beauty and the distant glow of the stars, it all faded into the background, her focus narrowing to him and the exhaustion that now clung to him like a shadow.

“Why don’t we get you home?” she suggested, her voice softer now. There was no need for stubbornness, no need to push through weariness when rest was within reach.

Caldarus did not answer immediately. Instead, he studied her for a long moment, as if committing her face to memory beneath the silver glow of the stars. There was something almost unreadable in his expression, something distant yet present, as though he were standing in two places at once, one in this moment, and another somewhere far away.

Finally, he exhaled and his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. “I would like that.” he admitted, his voice carrying a quiet sincerity. “I can prepare us some tea, and we can watch the last of the stars through the canopy.”

A soft breath of relief left her lips, and she allowed herself a small smile. “That sounds perfect.”

Without hesitation, he extended his hand toward her. The gesture was both firm and gentle, his fingers slightly curled in invitation. “Come.” he murmured, his voice steady despite his earlier fatigue. “Take my hand. I will guide you back.”

She did not hesitate. Her fingers curled around his, warmth meeting warmth despite the cool night air. His grip was strong, reassuring, yet there was a quiet vulnerability in the way he held onto her, not as one who merely led, but as one who was willing to be led in return.

Together, they descended from the summit, the quiet hum of the forest wrapping around them like a whispered lullaby. The journey back was slow but peaceful, the glow of fireflies flickering like tiny stars among the trees, their faint golden light weaving between the branches. The air was crisp, filled with the scent of damp earth and wildflowers, and above them, the heavens stretched endlessly, silver beams of starlight slipping through the canopy as if bidding them farewell.

When they finally arrived at his temple, the familiar warmth of the sacred place embraced them. Though fatigue still lingered in his frame, Caldarus moved with quiet purpose, his motions smooth and practiced as he set about preparing tea. The rich, earthy scent of herbs filled the air, curling between them like mist, a quiet contrast to the night’s lingering chill.

They settled beneath the temple’s eaves, sitting side by side as the last of the shooting stars streaked across the heavens. Neither spoke, but the silence between them was not empty. It was a presence all its own, comfortable and lingering, filled with the quiet clink of teacups against stone, the faint rustle of fabric as one of them shifted, the steady rhythm of their breaths in the cool night air.

Above them, the stars shone on, indifferent to time, indifferent to memory. And perhaps, in the grand scheme of the universe, it did not matter whether they had met once before or whether their souls had returned, drawn together like celestial bodies in a vast and endless sky.

Because in this moment, they were here now. And for tonight, that was enough.

Thanks for this headcanon. 🤭😳 Makes me wonder the number of attempts do Isaac and Lance even hide their "love" bruises and hickies. For Lance, knowing the man he would just show it off to everyone, as for Isaac he would just hide it with long sleeves and scarves but remember his seasonal outfit in the summer. Makes me wonder, how tempted would Lance be to just give a bite. 😂

Hello! I just really like your IsaacXLance headcanon stories and I just have this random idea. Which one of them is top or bottom? 🤔

I sometimes see them as switches or maybe Isaac is a power bottom and Lance is a top. 😂 But what do u think? And how frequent are their "activities"? Especially with their difficult time management.

🌚 heh...

(Warning: adult talk, kinda nsfw)

Lance is definitely a switch. Depending on the situation, his own mood and Isaac's mood, Lance can be both bottom AND top. Though I feel like in some cases, he would still tease his partner and have control. All in all, a switch, with a power bottom energy.

It's a very similar situation with Isaac, he's also a switch most of the time, but sometimes Isaac prefers to be a service top or even just a top. Mostly when Lance acts like an asshole and provokes Isaac on purpose. And the adventurer with the scar is happy to "remind his colleague of his manners". Lance, in general, is well-mannered, but not with Isaac, and it’s not like Isaac himself was complaining... 🌚

Given their busy patrol schedules and the fact that both are more often than not in different parts of the world (not sure how far Castle Village is from Stardew Valley), there are few opportunities for them to be alone together. So they will make the most of every opportunity. Sometimes it's slow and passionate sex, sometimes it's quickie. But they still manage to adjust their schedules so that Lance and Isaac have enough time for each other.

My Farmer Ocs

This is what my Farmer Girls would look like in a non-pixelated form. Yes, its gacha style. I'm not good in art, sorry. •́ ‿ ,•̀

When it comes to fashion, I always incorporate certain items that hold symbolic meaning. For example, the mini purple daggers and pouches attached to their hips and legs represent their in-game weapons and backpack. The power rings have been transformed into bracelets that they wear.

I'll make a post of their Farmer biography soon. (◍•ᴗ•◍)🌼

Who would win?

Hey everyone! I’ve just uploaded new chapters of "Caldarus's Accidental Guide to Wooing a Farmer." Here’s a sneak peek from the latest chapter:

She hummed softly to herself as she tied off the ends of the flower crown, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as she admired her handiwork. With a gentle movement, she leaned forward, carefully lifting the delicate creation and placing it atop Caldarus’s head.

His gaze flickered up from his book, curiosity stirring as he regarded her with quiet intrigue. “Another one?” His voice held no protest, only mild surprise as though he had already anticipated such an outcome.

She grinned, her fingers still lingering near the crown as she adjusted it slightly. “Of course! You’re starting a collection now.”

A breath of amusement escaped him, a faint exhale that wasn’t quite a laugh but carried the essence of one. He made no move to remove it, allowing the memory of their first festival together to surface, the distant recollection of when she had first given him a flower crown, back when he had been nothing more than an unmoving stone figure in her fields.

Slowly he closed his book, letting it rest upon his lap as his gaze drifted to the flowers surrounding them. Reaching out he selected one, his fingers brushing over the soft petals as he turned his attention back to her. With deliberate care he leaned in, the space between them narrowing as he reached up, gently tucking the flower beneath her ear. His fingertips brushed against her hair, the strands soft beneath his touch as he adjusted the placement, ensuring it sat just right.

Isaria’s breath hitched, her heartbeat suddenly irregular, caught off guard by the unexpected gentleness of the gesture. A warmth crept up her neck, settling in her cheeks as she remained frozen under his touch, her mind scrambling to form a coherent response.

“There.” Caldarus said simply, his golden eyes studying her with an unreadable expression. “It suits you.”

Her fingers twitched slightly against her lap, the sudden flutter in her chest sending a ripple of warmth through her body. “Oh. Uhhh…” She cleared her throat, attempting to steady herself though the lingering sensation of his touch made it a challenge. “Thanks.”

His expression remained calm, entirely unaware of the effect he had just caused as though the simple act had held no deeper meaning beyond placing a flower in her hair.

Isaria let out a breath, shaking her head slightly as she reached for another flower, her hands busying themselves as she willed away the warmth creeping up her cheeks. “You know.” she mused, attempting a casual tone, “You have a habit of saying things that sound suspiciously like flirting.”

Caldarus blinked, his brow slightly furrowing, genuine curiosity flickering across his features. “Do I?”

She laughed, a light and breathy sound as she shook her head again. “Never mind.”

Here's the link of the fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63931303/chapters/163977091

Bruh! Its a cat?! *looks at the picture on wiki* Are my eyes deceiving me!? Me and my blind eyes! I thought its a teddy bear but when I look at the picture on the SDV wiki it doesn't have whiskers. Yeah, it looks like a cat but I swear it looks like a freaking teddy bear or maybe its the ears. 😂😵

A random thought, you remember the achievement when we get the Statue of Perfection or Statue of True Perfection. Everyday we received iridium ore or random items, then how will the SDV/SVE Bachelors, (can you add the adventurers and mages) gonna react to this huge looking (gold/iridium) teddy bear appear in the farm and everyday a random item pops out.

(I mean I would find it weird and intriguing, that I woke up the next day just to see a huge looking teddy bear appeared on my spouse's arms.)

...A teddy bear?

*looking at a picture on the SDV wiki*

It's a cat, isn't it? I always thought it was a cat. *Looking again* Although the ears are a little round, it does looks like a bear. Kinda...

Anyway, good to see you in my askbox again! Enjoy some headcanons 💕 And I'm interested to hear from others, who do you see in these statues, the bear or the cat?

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SDV bachelors react to Statue of Perfection/True Perfection:

...Was there some kind of strange fashion for huge jewelled statues or something? It wasn't enough for Shane to find a gold statue of Lewis in Marnie's room (of course, she refused to say how it got there in the first place), but now Farmer had one. Well, at least Shane's spouse had chosen a cute animal instead of one with the hideous mayor's face on it. "Why?" "That statue gives us ore every day." "...So you can do nothing and you'll make a profit. Wow, that's handy stuff." A useful statue and a nice looking one, so Shane didn't mind.

Imagining the life of a rich and famous athlete, which Alex aspired to, he still didn't understand some of the oddities of people living in luxury. For example, the habit of ordering gold statues with encrusted gems. Alex's spouse had received a statue of Perfection as a reward for their deeds, but those who just bought them and tried to pass them off as some kind of achievement? Weird. They usually also ugly looking, not like Farmer's statue that looks like a bear, or maybe it's a cat, and... ??? Did the statue just give him a prismatic shard??????

"Darling, where did you get this?" "One statue was given to me by Grandpa. The other I got as a reward." Never before had Harvey seen statues as tall as himself made of pure iridium. The doctor hadn't paid much attention to it before, thinking they were just strange decorations made of inexpensive metal. But later, while rearranging the bedroom, Harvey began to scrutinise each of the statues. "Your Grandpa had unusual taste in furniture." "It's not about taste, it's about to get ore." And Farmer took the iridium ore and the prismatic shard from the two statues, leaving Harvey in complete shock.

To be honest, Sebastian was a little disappointed when Farmer told him that the Statue of Perfection wasn't some sort of totem for worshipping spirits or gods. Too bad, he was already prepared to listen with interest about how these statues were connected to all sorts of occult stuff, but alas. "Well, I wouldn't say the statues are simple, hon." When Sebby saw with his own eyes that these metal figures yielded ore, he opened his mouth in amazement. "Cool." Okay, now Sebastian was even more interested in how this magic statue worked.

Sam's been doting on the cute faces of the iridium statues for about half an hour now. "Heh, adorable. Where did you acquire that statue?" "Got it from Grandpa's Shrine." "...Huh? From where?" The young guitarist guessed that the statues were unusual, but he didn't realise that there was a whole adventure story behind them with all the weirdness. "And one of the conditions of getting statue was to pet your dog?" "Yeah! Well, I'd pet the dog anyway because I love our dog, statue or not, but yeah." Sam doesn't understand anything, but he's still interested! Like wow, cool magic statue!

When Elliott was touring for his book signings, he managed to visit several museums in Zuzu City that were full of similarly unusual statues and figures. At least the statues his spouse purchased weren't the spawn of nightmares (Elliott doesn't judge art, but he certainly wouldn't want those decorations in his home). "They're not just cute, dear" When one of the statues produced a prismatic shard, the writer was speechless. But then he had an idea... "The hero went on an adventure in search of a statue of eternal wealth... Not a bad plot for a novel, don't you think?"

SVE bachelors react to Statue of Perfection/True Perfection:

Magnus can't believe his own eyes. "This is an endless source of iridium ore - a dream for treasure seekers, and a topic of discussion among mages and witches as to the origin of this relic. But also the cause of death for many, ruined by their own greed and envy." The wizard hopes that his spouse will not meet the same fate. He also tries to restrain himself from the urge to study the Statue of Perfection by being cautious. Magnus knows that Farmer's intentions are pure, and they have earned such a reward through hard work, but just in case.

"You definitely had to go through many trials and do incredible things to obtain such a treasure, my dear. A worthy reward for someone like you." Lance knows very well that even the richest person in the world cannot afford such a magical statue, it only has to be earned. And his dear spouse has earned not one, but two whole statues. Lance knows how these statues work, so not surprised about that. But the pink-haired man is more interested in the exact merits for which Farmer was so honoured. Lance wouldn't mind hearing their story over a glass of wine.

Oh, it's.... the Statue of Perfection! It's real! What? Of course Victor knows about it! Well, not that he knows for sure, but he's read books about various artifacts and relics that were covered in mysteries. The books themselves were written by adventurers, and there were at least a few mentions of a legendary Statue of Perfection that would bring the owner happiness and wealth. Or something like that. But now Victor's spouse has been given a true legend for their hard work! It's impressive, and he is very proud of Farmer!

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Bonus reaction from non-marriage SVE adventurers/mages:

"What do we have here~ Sweetie, you have no idea what powerful magic these statues contain." It wasn't even the fact that the two pure iridium statues yielded ore and a prismatic shard every day that interested Camilla. The Castle Village witch believes there is something else stored inside, something that would be good to study. Wealth doesn't interest her, but potential magic does.... "I wonder how the Farmer got such a treasure, hmm? You'll tell your friend Camilla, right?

The first time Alesia saw the statues of Perfection, she thought Farmer worshipped some kind of animal spirits. She herself is an Yoba worshipper, but has no dislike for other beliefs. "If this is not totem, then what?" From the information she's received about the statue, the sniper is silent from shock for a few seconds, then says, "According to the legends, people, blended with greed, killed each other to get their hands on these relics. Do not repeat their fate, young adventurer. And be careful who you share this information with." Alesia hoped Farmer wouldn't get themself into trouble...

Jadu is going to faint with happiness. These are the same statues of Perfection that wizards and adventurers have been searching for for centuries! The metal artifacts made of pure iridium simply radiate magic! They have a rather lovely appearance, the wizard should note, very cute.... But he's distracted! Jadu almost begs Farmer to let him study them. Like Camilla, he's interested in the knowledge hidden in the statues, not the iridium ore itself.

Are these THE statues of Perfection that half of all adventurers and wizards would kill themselves over? Pfft, it looked like some cheap obscure bear-faced thing. Isaac is not impressed. And the presence of ore in the statue didn't surprise him much either ("I've seen stranger things"). Still, the grumpy adventurer will not deny the fact that Farmer has achieved this, albeit silly-looking, reward by hard work. So they're worth something. Maybe Farmer is not as hopeless as Isaac previously thought. ("Thanks Isaac. I guess...").

Post 1.6 SVE spoilers - aka the 'Lance wtf is wrong with you?' update

Didn't play with the new update(s) yet but I peeked at the files and the changelogs and there are a few really funny things in there.

But first, Marlon:

These are the exact opposite of each other. It looks like Marlon was secretly trying to get the farmer killed.

Marlon: "The Skull Cavern is dangerous for an inexperienced adventurer such as yourself. Here's something that will keep you safe." *gives the farmer something that attracts even more monsters*

But if you thought Marlon and Qi are the only oddly violent characters in the newest updates you're wrong. You can add Lance to the list too! And this time it's not a bug :D

Lance, wtf? This is a friendly competition, there are children participating! Fighting over the eggs won't even help you win, you would just waste you limited time! Lance, what are you doing? 😭

If Lace is willing to fistfight children over a meaningless contest like the egg hunt (or better, willing to threaten children with a sword in front of their parents), how competitive does he get in a serious one? We all assume Lance would be pretty relaxed about having a love rival, but he's apparently ready to go straight to violence for something much less important than the farmer.

To be fair to Lance, it makes sense. Adventurers belong to a small and tightknit community where being good at violence is the most useful skill a member can possess. And news about your talents or failures travels fast to everyone else. Easiest way for people to test their worth would be through different competitions, since clear goals and rules means it's easier to judge someone's talents, and they have less chance of adventurers killing each other.

Refusing to participate would probably label someone as a coward and it might ruin their reputation worse than simply losing would. And for a group that defines themselves through fighting to the death escalading every competition to violence probably feels natural. This might be one of the reason almost every adventurers mocks the farmer at first. The farmer is too nice and friendly and that makes them look like a weakling that would never survive among 'true' adventurers, let alone the battlefield.

And Lance is not only a highly respected adventurer but also a guild leader. He probably wouldn't have even been considered as Jolyne's vice leader if he would have avoided these contests. And in order to earn his position he must have been really good at fighting his fellow adventurers. So this attitude is not surprising if you think about it.

Still, Lance pointing a sword at Sophia while clutching a colourfully painted egg is such a funny image.

𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚋: 𝙰 𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜

(Found this in my old drafts, I wrote it before the FOM update. Would be a waste not to post it here. I also made a skit related to this one with Farmer and Caldarus but more unhinged/dramatic and longer skit. ➡️ Link)

[Setting: Caldarus has just broken free from his stone prison. Dust settles, magic crackles in the air, and the Farmer stands frozen, staring at the man before them.]

Farmer: *inhales sharply* Oh. My. Gods.

Caldarus: *blinking, adjusting to his newfound freedom* Yes, I—

Farmer: *gripping his shoulders* YOU’RE HOT!!!

Caldarus: *startled* What?

Farmer: *shaking him slightly* I knew you’d be attractive, but this? This is illegal!

Caldarus: *trying to recover from both the dramatic exit from his prison and this energy* I—well... Thank you, I suppose—

Farmer: *grabs his hands, eyes shining* You don’t understand. I was ready to marry a rock. I was prepared to take my vows in front of a lawn ornament.

Caldarus: *slowly processing* You were going to what?

Farmer: *serious nod* I was mentally prepared to wake up every day and say, ‘Good morning, my beloved paperweight.’

Caldarus: *rubbing his temples* I just broke free from my stoney prison, and this is what I’m met with?

Farmer: *grinning* Welcome back to the world, my dear! Wanna get married?

Caldarus: *sighs, but there’s an amused smile tugging at his lips* At least let me breathe first.

𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚞𝚜 𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙴𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐:

Caldarus: *sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose* Fine. But if I hear one joke about rocks, I’m turning back into one.

Farmer: *gasps dramatically* You wouldn’t dare.

Caldarus: *raising an eyebrow* Try me.

Farmer: *grinning* Well, that’s just stone-cold of you.

Caldarus: *visibly struggling to maintain composure* I’m serious.

Farmer: *nodding* Of quartz you are.

Caldarus: *groans* I regret everything.

Farmer: *pats his shoulder* Don’t take me for granite.

Caldarus: *sighs, looking up at the sky as if pleading with the gods* I should have stayed petrified.

Farmer: *beaming* Too late, rock husband. You’re stuck with me now.

Caldarus: *despite himself, a small chuckle escapes* At least eternity won’t be boring.

HOLY SHI-!