How

Ok just figured it out: I'm hearing Tchaikovsky from now on

Omg I'm here wanting to cry. Why? Because I'm hearing lo-fi & eating nutella. Somehow that's cry-inducing to me now.

And you can't even say that it must be 'that time of the month' cuz I'm not a woman, technically. What's wrong with me. WHY does lo-fi makes me want to cry. What do I even hear if not lo-fi to relax?? I tried 3daysgrace, for hours, then Bullet for my Valentine, then back to 3daysgrace, now I got no idea what to listen to. Also, I have to work, so I can't just go home and bury myself in a tower of blankets like I'm rebuilding Babel.

Never gonna hear lo-fi again.

(Make a bet on how long it takes for me to listen to it again.)

Cursed be the writer that posted a 'and everybody died in the most gruesome way possible' chapter on April's Fools.

🤬

Tried the Picrew thing

I was kinda surprised the nonbinary flag was even an option. Nice. Shockingly, I could actually portray how I look right now... (Gotta do something about that beard, though. Yesterday I was too lazy...)

This image was created with Picrew’s “makowka character maker II“!! https://picrew.me/share?cd=kpeHhy3iHq #Picrew #makowka_character_maker_II

TCIK Original Book Update #5

Hmmm. Yeah. Procrastinating. You got it.

But I AM writing! Just not in the right doc. I ended up having this idea-like always-and this idea now has 55-songs in its own playlist and a few scenes badly written. But damn, aren't they funny! I've never written scenes as hilarious as these before, in my life.

I think this specific book (not the one I've been working on before, which will come around August 2025) will come around mid 2026, perhaps. Or early 2027. Idk. I want to make it a long book, full of banter and ridiculous situations, so it will be harder to write than an angst book (at least that's how it works for me).

Anyway, the other book? The August 2025 one? Yeah, it's in what I call, "de molho". Which translates as "leaving it soaking", kinda, which means, yeah you got it you smart pie, I'm procrastinating. Out of ideas. Out of the will to write anything down. Hating it, even. But that's how it always goes. Give it a week or two, or maybe ten years, and I'm back to it again just fine.

All in all, wish me luck. Or don't wish me anything. Or wish me evil, and I'll just laugh. Below my blankets.

xoxo

TCIK Original Book Update #7

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY

MY FIRST BREAKTHROUGH

IF I SOUND CRAZY, IT'S BECAUSE I AM!

finally

finally

I came across this old animation I first saw when I was like 12? And it sparked so many ideas! I totally wasn't prepared for it, and it opened my eyes!!

I still have like, to work on 70% of the book (that's still a mystery to me), but the dots are doting now. The lines are lining. The floor is flooring. Things are feeling alive, and I feel like I understand the theme of the fic for the first time. The feelings. The vibe.

I got the main character's backbone yesterday, and now a specific scene's vibe (and some repercussions for the entire fic...)

I'm so happy

Being Bigender- what it’s like.

I know there are already posts about being bigender and what it means, but I wanted to make my own so I could share some of my knowledge and experiences on being bigen.

Bigender: The Definition

Bigender is a gender identity described as being two genders- either simultaneously [both genders at the same time], fluidly [switching between the two] or partially [sort of like being a percentage/amount of each]. It falls under the nonbinary umbrella and is one of the many multigender identities out there.

Q- Do the two genders have to be “Girl and Boy”?

Absolutely not. This is probably the most common bigender-related misconception out there. A bigender preson could be a combination of a binary gender and nonbinary gender [example: girl and agender] or two nonbinary genders [example: androgyne and neutrois]. Bigender is not defined as only being man and woman.

Difference between Bigender and Genderfluid

Bigender and genderfluid overlap in definitions/experiences and can be used simultaneously as labels if you wish- but the main difference is that bigender is just defined as being any two genders, and it’s not a requirement to be fluid between them. Meanwhile, Genderfluid is shifting between multiple genders, and don’t have to be limited to two.

Q- If you’re bigender, are you trans? Or half-trans or something?

Y’know, that’s just up to the bigender/nonbinary individual to decide. I don’t consider myself trans, and for a while I didn’t even consider myself nonbinary. I’m not cis, and I relate a lot to transgender experiences- so sure, I could technically consider myself trans. But it’s not something that appeals to me as a label, so I don’t really use it. You can just be you, and you don’t have to be a part of the trans community or even in the nonbinary community if you don’t want to.

You can also have surgery/ name change/ go on hormones if you’re bigender, it’s alllll up to you.

Presentation

There is no “right” way to present when you’re bigender. You do not have to look/dress like what is expected of both of your genders, or switch between clothing or whatever. Clothing doesn’t dictate your identity in any way. It’s just fabric. Wear it however you want!

Q- Do you have to be 50% / half of both genders to be bigender?

Nope. If the genders are not felt simultaneously or fluidly and are instead felt partially each, then the metaphorical “percentage” can be anything. A bigender person may feel 60% one gender and 40% the other, or someone else may be more 70% and 30%, or even 1% and 99%, etc.

If the amount of gender experienced can be at any percent, what’s to stop me from calling myself demigender instead of bigender?

[Demigender: feeling partially, but not fully a gender. Common labels are demigirl, demiboy, etc.]

The truth is, similar to how [bi]sexual/romantic, [poly]sexual/romatic and [pan]sexual/romantic are similar, these labels overlap and it’s really up to the person to choose which label they prefer.

ALSO. Demigenders don’t necessarily only experience two genders.

Q- Do you have to have separate sets of pronouns for each gender, or multiple names?

Nope. This isn’t a requirement. You can be bigender and have as many or as little names/sets of pronouns as you wish, and they don’t have to “match” your genders either. A boy/girl bigender could use only one name and use they/them, or an agender/boy bigender could be using two names and she/her + he/him, or neopronouns, or etc. The combinations are endless, so it’s up to the individual to figure out what they want.

And again, names do not have to “correspond” with your genders- by which i mean you don’t have to have a “boy” name or a “girl” name or a neutral name unless that’s what you want.

They/Them

They/them (at least in the English language) are considered THE neutral pronouns and the go-to for anyone. And they usually are, there’s nothing wrong with that- they’re good to use on strangers, people you don’t know the pronouns of, or people who just prefer those pronouns! However, I’d also like to point out that they are not applicable to those who you know don’t use them/ don’t have them listed as their set of pronouns. It’s not a good alternative to someone’s neopronouns, or multiple/fluxuating pronouns, or just to use on anyone who doesn’t want them used. Just don’t.

This applies to every gender identity, not just bigender.

Q- If I’m bigender, how does that affect my other orientations? Should I consider myself bi, gay, etc?

Unfortunately, currently popular lgbt+ terms [especially in relation to sexuality or romantic orientation] are not really suited for nonbinary people, so there isn’t really a good answer to this- you’ll just have to figure out what sounds best to you. Feel free to use pre-existing terminology, even if it isn’t 100% “accurate”, or just make your own!

What it’s like being bigender

Well for starters, no two bigender people are the same, nor have the same experiences. I am probably the most stereotypical example of a bigender person- I’m a boy/girl, I use he/him and she/her pronouns, and I even have a “masculine” name and a “feminine” name. As much as I’d like to share alternative bigender stories, I can only tell you mine, so keep in mind that this isn’t the universal truth for all of us.

For me, I’m simultaneously both of my genders- I’m not partially one or the other, nor am I fluid between the two. At all times, I feel 100% girl and 100% boy. “Isn’t that the same as androgyne?” Well, no. In the form of a visual, pretend there are two tinted lenses [say, yellow and blue] and stacking them on top of each other makes green, while still being separate physically. Androgyne would be more like just having a green tinted lens, without needing to stack anything.

Anyway, how’s it like? My insight to being bigender in the real world is well, uneventful, as I don’t pass, am extremely closeted and don’t intend to come out anytime soon. Most of my experiences happen internally. I sometimes get annoyed that people use only one set of pronouns for me, because although I don’t mind he or she, I would still prefer for both to be used at about the same amount. I feel comfortable around most gendered terms, although I lean towards masculine [ex: king, brother, etc]. I get uncomfortable when people consider me/refer to me as one gender [ex: calling me just a boy/girl, repeatedly]. I do have dysphoria, both social and physical. I plan on getting surgery someday. I discovered I was bigender sophmore year of highschool. That’s roughly my experience.

Q- How can I write a bigender character?

Read everything above, so at least you have some basic knowledge about the identity. If you have additional questions, my ask box/pms are always open. I’ll be glad to help anyone out with anything bigender related really.

Some other multigenders that are similar/relate to Bigender [for those who may want to look into them]

Trigender- Like bigender, but experiencing three genders instead of two

Polygender- experiencing multiple genders but not all.

Pangender- experiencing all genders [this however, does not include genders that aren’t within your experiences/ you’re able to claim, such as genders that belong to indigenous groups/ other cultures]

Demigender- feeling partially but not totally a gender.

Genderfluid- being fluid between genders [can be any genders, any amount of them and for any amount of time]

If you feel like I need to change anything about this post, then I’m open to suggestions/criticism!

TCIK Original Book Update #4

Give your book time.

This is the best advice I can give, really.

With just a few days of... not working on my book, at all, and doing other writing stuff, one character changed and became completely different than what I was going for at the beginning.

Frankly, it's WAY better.

I think I'm also grasping now my main character's feelings and actions, too. At another update, I said she read as this foolish girl that I was beginning to hate with passion. Now, I think she's found her footing at last, and the dialogue I'm tentatively putting out makes more sense, feels more in character with her.

“The prettier the garden, the dirtier the hands of the gardener.”

— B. E. Barnes, Put in work.

C&D Original Book Update #2

Oooh things are going good.

I'm rereading all the book again (cuz of course) and I'm picking up all those little big problems. It's headache-inducing, but I'm satisfied in finally seeing my book flow better with all those changes. Way better.

I changed a lot of stuff...

As for the last chapters, nope, I noped. I simply can't write them down right now. They're too emotional. I think I'll manage... in a month?? Maybe??

And I'm still hoping to launch it in September...

Fingers crossed <3

hahahaha omg I'm 1) with sprinkles of 2)

There are two types of writers:

1. 'It's fiction, it doesn't need to make sense!'

2. 'I didn't account for the rotation of the planet and how that affects the constalations while my characters stargazed at different times of year, I have failed as a writer, and this entire thing is trash'