Genshin People As Your Coworkers

"i have never loved someone"

well you're going to after you see Yap Min Hong

photo diary

how scaramouche met you (au)

he was rushing to work, and you were finding people to hand your flyers to. you couldn't make a living without promoting the company you worked for, you see.

running past traffic lights, you managed to catch up with scaramouche, with him yelling at you to fuck off.

"are you interested in a debit card from our company? we have free gifts!" you said.

you noticed a street sign because you worked here 6 hours a day. you basically knew where ALL the roads led to. Since you were in front of him, you dodged it skillfully. him on the other hand, was checking his GPS.

"Girl, there's a street sig-" you started.

BONK!!!!!!!!!!!!

his hands were cupping his sore forehead.

"um, would you like to register for our weekly magaz-"

"call me an ambulance... i'll sign up for your weekly magazines if you do..." scaramouche gave in.

"hello there, mr. ambulance."

"HAVE YOU NEVER LEARNT A THING IN ENGLISH CLASS?!?!"

hahaha funny i wrote this in like june and when i look back at it it's so funny.... masterlist here!

DIARY:

14th of March 2022

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i woke up from a dream that i was in kinokuniya and checking out an official sketch of asuka from the animators of evangelion for rm169 after looking at a really thick art book. IT WAS HEAVEN!! i recall not wanting to wake up bc of how heavenly jt was and because i thought about waking up, i actually woke up. DANG!!"#!#!

i sat in the living room for so long and only went out to eat at 12. i got jean first thing in the morning (12am), on her birthday!!!! i "broke down" because i didn't know whether to eat at my favourite western restaurant or at mcdonalds. we were going to stop by my M grandmother's house for lunch again so i can't order anything too lavish but i also wanted to eat in the restaurant!!! i can't eat anything non luxurious in there... my parents made the decision for me.😇

set meal: garlic bread and mushroom soup, fillet o fish in sour oil (for me), two scoops of ice cream (vanilla n chocolate chip).

oh my dar. was my grandmother's dishes tasty! garlic prawn (it was so good the flesh tasted salty and springy even without its shell), yaumak, broccoli and carrots, fried chicken, sweet and sour chicken...

we sat in her house for so long because it was raining dog and cat😒😒😒. i wanted to go back so bad but i couldn't. i mostly read and surfed the internet there. (and watched two episodes of sasaki and miyano...)

when i came back to my P grandparents' house i immediately dashed toward my laptop bc i downloaded valorant this afternoon. i waited for my dad and mom to finish showering while playing a practice match. i suck at this game, never playing again.

dinner was ok i really liked the potatos and rice! while it was raining the mama cat was letting her kitten snug into her tummy for a few hours. its so darn cute!!

after dinner i spent all my time relentlessly scrolling through shopee in hopes of finding good sanrio gifts for my friend whose birthday passed two days ago. until now. its 23:04!!! and i think I've found it.

sad

I actually don't have any of my close friend's twitter accounts 😭😭😭

u r cat and genshin chars are.. people.

hc on what they would do when they see a cat (you)

includes: albedo, itto, hu tao, eula, diona

MASTERLIST: https://kaidousecoli.tumblr.com/masterlist

albedo

will look at you for a very long time

probably turn you into a bird or something if he's in an experimental mood

pats your head two times and that's it

will feed you his food scraps or his "large portions of meat" that he doesn't want to eat anymore

puts a tiny daisy on your head

ITTO 👺

ties your hair into the diona ponytail..

has dozens of other cats surrounding him also

uses those laser lights to play with you all

if you get near him when he's eating he will give you the food he doesn't want to eat (beans, vegetables..) and you wouldn't eat them either.

lets you listen to the voice memos on his phone

hu tao

will find you an owner so she can sell her coffins when you die

hates letting you in any room

introduces you to the other cats in town

will tell you to knead on her lap

once fed a cat fried rice and it turned bald in a week

eula

ignores you sometimes

will give you a small can of fish if she's in a good mood

you can smell her mooncake pies she makes sometimes! they smell so delicious..

you always see her patrolling mondstadt waiting to exert vengeance to the ones that wronged her!

or maybe she was just waiting for a certain knight of favonius dressed in red to accompany her at Good Hunter.

diona

treats any cat like her sibling!

often see her waiting outside her bar with a plate of fish

her favourite cat is mee!!!

when you climb on her roof you can eat many mushrooms!

says she doesn't care if we starve to death but we know she does

is her tail real? meow!

im curious about why spongebob's town is called bikini bottom.

for the bi pride prompts 💜 'accidental' ft. scaramouche please!!

[Okay hi friendddd!! This did not exactly follow the prompt bc its actually harder than I thought but I hope u still like it!! This will also conclude the bi pride prompts!!]

Accidental; the character says or does something to reveal/imply their bisexuality.

----

- Bothering Scaramouche was basically a hobby of yours. It's a miracle that he even stands near you considering how much you poke at him, guess you could say you were most definitely a favorite of him. No one else could say the same.

"If all you're going to do is run your mouth I suggest you leave my room." Scaramouche groans, his hands practically snapping his chopsticks in half.

Scaramouche ate by himself, apart from you usually being there. His room was large enough to hold a small round table. His meals were usually brought to his room by lower subordinates. Or sometimes he made you just to be mean.

You laid on his bed with your head nearly off the side. You would tilt your head and look at him upside down. Your hands rest on your stomach.

"But I don't want you to be lonely!" You throw your arm over your forehead dramatically. It was said as a joke, but being alone all the time had to get lonely at some point really.

"You're a pest."

"Then I must be the best pest you've ever had~" you reply in a sing-song voice. Scaramouche only sighs and continues eating. You watch him quietly for a few moments.

"So, do you like anyone?" You ask, picking at your nails. You could hear Scaramouche choke a little.

"What kind of childish question is that?" Scaramouche snaps, turning his body to look at you with his harsh glare. It never bothered you anymore.

"Just a question, jeez!" You roll onto your stomach and rest your chin in your palms. "Though I highly doubt you could get a girlfriend with that attitude."

Scaramouche clicks his tongue. "Please, the people here aren't worthy of my time."

"Oh, so I am?"

"You're pushing it," Scaramouche replies, growling through his teeth.

"Are you sure you don't want attention from the ladies? La Signora and Childe are already beating in terms of popularity."

Scaramouche scoots around a piece of meat on his plate with his chopsticks. His foot taps on the ground, signifying his oncoming thoughts.

"I give no thought to man or woman who even thinks they're worthy of me." Scaramouche eats the last bit of food on his plate then sets down his chopsticks. "My interest is in other things at the moment. Dating would just slow me down."

Somehow that response made your heart clench. Your smile droops, but your eyes rise up again as you process what he said.

"So, if there was someone worthy..." you throw in air quotes around worthy knowing of Scaramouche's big ego. "You wouldn't mind if they were a dude too, or something?"

Scaramouche quietly sits in his seat after one last sip of his tea. He looks smaller without the hat, less intimidating you could say. He crosses his arms with his back turned. It was a little uncharacteristic of him to be this quiet, especially after being questioned so thoroughly.

"Not really. Either is fine with me." Scaramouche finally rises from his seat. You couldn't see his expression clearly, but you could just see the slim piece of his pale cheek deepening to a pink. "My type is a person I can keep by my side at all times."

You stare at his back as he goes to leave. You slide off the bed, trying to follow him, but you slip too fast and end up halfway face planting the floor. You arms protected your face luckily. Scaramouche's laughter rings out. It was a sound drained from malice or vileness, only filled with innocent amusement. You could feel your face heat up.

"That's what you get for pestering me during my meal." Scaramouche wipes a tear from his eye as his laughter dies down.

You shift yourself to sit on your knees with a pout on your face. Scaramouche is ready to walk out the door which he has already opened, but just as he takes a step out, he turns back with a small smile, the edge of being a sly grin.

"Well, come on then, you'll get yourself into trouble if I don't keep you at my side."

ANNUAL FEAST

let's start with a speech highlighting our achievements of the year, naming the teachers who guided us and the team that organised the event.

DOOR GIFT: something meaningful to remember us by. PSS socks embroidered with something that symbolises us? Wireless earphones customised with our emblem?

elegant classical music flowing all over, premiumly selected by Ai Jia with superior pianist music taste. some guitar solos by Renee?

let us play some games on anticipating stomachs, for togetherness will bring us through tough times and hungry stomachs. DARTS? BALLOON VOLLEYBALL? GUESS THE COUNTRY BY LANDMARKS? SPIN THE WHEEL WITH NAMES AND A TOPIC TO DEBATE? perhaps we shall also bring in a ps4 for us to do a battle royale 1v1.

finally, all that we have been waiting patiently for will feel like a huge reward! we can finally FEAST!!! if we let them feast immediately, it would feel lackluster. Where's the networking? Where's the fun?

during the eating, one shall be in charge of playing a video recording of all the goofy things us librarians did throughout the year, us hard at work and us filming niche video skits of expectations vs reality etc.

before the event, we shall host a best writer award where we receive submissions from librarians where they write about their weirdest thoughts and channel them into meaningful writing that entertains the mind. the participants shall read it aloud and entertain the crowd!

after everyone has eaten their fill, we shan't make the food off limits while we engage them in networking activities. they can still eat, while the people who are bored can participate. let's welcome... the PSS DEBATE TEAM!!! (make them verbally FIGHT!!!)

let's end with a toast to the ongoing success of the PSS! let's voice out our hopes, joys and opinions to form a lively, verbal environment!

FOOD - I don't think we have a say in this (we r probably just selecting from courses offered by the location), but if we did this would be my suggestion:

BALANCED MEAL: light appetizer. cheese pasta / citrus seaweed roll (v) with mushroom soup and focaccia. refreshing entrée: kiwi pudding with mint leaves. main course: sweet & sour seafood soup laden with rich tomatoes, long beans & corn / sweet & sour tofu with asparagus and cilantro rice. dessert: gingerbread brownies / fruit sorbet.

Wriothesley Teaches You How to Fight Like A Pro

"First things first... fix that attitude of yours," Wriothesley grumbled, clad in his long-sleeved dress shirt, fitted pants and mechanical gauntlets. Slicking his hair back with both hands over his head, he groaned, "You don't even want to do this properly. Are you just here for me or what?"

Upon hearing that, your jokester ass laughed out loud and you clutched your clenched stomach bending over in joy. Wiping a tear from your eye, you muse, "Well what if I was?" and continued giggling with your feet circling in arcs like a dying roach.

Let's just say some people have a different sense of humour. You weren't even surprised when you lightly peeked with one eye at Wriothesley to find him glaring daggers at you with those striking eyes of his, because he has never appreciated your skibidi toilet jokes.

Even you knew his limits, and you didn't know him well. Just well enough to share drinks and inside jokes. For you, well was quality time and bouts of intimate touches. So no, you didn't know him well. You got up and sprung back into action, picking up some Gintama move you saw Chinese grandmothers do in Tai Chi. Hands in karate chop motion, you tornadoed to his direction and landed a foot directly in front of him, hand positioned directly before his nose.

Wriothesley scrunched up his nose and forced out a reluctant "Better, I guess," and lowered his head. Addled and confused, you tilted your neck to your side in a classic WHAT?! pose, then you heard a chuckle from somewhere around the room. Looking around, you said, "Well, I never knew you invited some others to our practises."

When he didn't respond, you turned back to him kneeling on the floor, gorgeous di-coloured hair sprawling out from his scalp. You squat with your legs open like a frog or sneaky spider in front of him, leggings stretching against your calf. Looking down at him, you saw a glimpse of his canine tooth revealed by a devilish grin. He looked up at you and laughed at your face, eyes closed all the way through in a joyful daze.

Sobering up, he projected with a husky voice, "So funny, are we?" and you could swear his Arctic glacier eyes thundered periodically, letting you in a world of dark, deep sea typhoons. "Let's see what happens when you face real danger. You think they would loosen their grip because you said something that started with ski, ended with di and rhymed with clinically? I'd like you see you £#¢¥ing try," he threatened gloomily, advancing onto you with a fat forearm.

You hastily avoided his arm by holding it back with both hands, but you never really won over the gymbros in arm wrestling, so you got overpowered instead. He locked his arm under your neck, lifting you up so your toes were dreaming of touching land, which never happened considering you were taller than the average population. His shirt sleeve was so distracting because it smelled like your cousin's detergent and made you wish you had money to afford laundry that was more than just rinsing fabric with water.

You felt like Loki being held by his neck by Thor, albeit being the superior brother in the situation. In every situation, actually. Loki just suited you better. Pranksters have your whole heart.

You snuck your hands under his arm and pushed outward with all your might, and he was still unyielding. Bruh, at this point you just gotta turn around and start pushing his chest away from you. That'd be more effective, right? Whose chest can withstand brute force? Well, not yours, to be frank. You can't even wrestle your cousin.

"LET ME... THE £@#& GO!" you yelled with your back against his locked hands in a smooth manoeuvre, and tried to push at his chest. Ew, this feels like molestation. Who cared about molestation when your life was being threatened by a raider!!! You don't care anymore, you went from poking his chest playfully to shoving the hell out of his dress shirt, and he stumbled, hands losing their grip.

Like a proud hen, you stood arms akimbo, head inclined as you stared Wrio down. Oh my effing god. He surged and started CHARGING at you!!! He threw himself on you like on those WWE Superslams and you flew with your back sliding on the floor. His arms were around you, then you realised they weren't around you as much as they were wrapped around an actual dagger. Oh archons!

If you were wrong in the head, you would think this was fun and mentally stimulating. It was a bit exhilarating, but you were fearing for your life here. Mr Puppy here looks like he would actually kill you here and now for saying skibidi toilet during a company dinner 3 weeks ago. Deeply stashed anger, am I right? Poor pup doesn't have an outlet to release stress, so he keeps it all pent up and explodes on you for a tiny joke consisting of toilet...

His knee kneeling in the space between your thighs, he seemed chivalrous and angelic and deadly. The light shining on him from his table lamp just further intensified the dark side of his face, unilluminated by anything. That pretty much sums up your first impression of him. Dark, sepulchral and a pain to be with. Now, you're wrong. This is fun.

"Alright, yes yes, I'm afraid I'm deeply invested now, Your Grace. Continue," you chirped happily from your position under the Duke's glinting knife. If you stole a jewel from the hilt now, would he realise? You were quite good at this gemstone side hustle of yours.

"Second of all, do not let yourself be vulnerable," he gritted his teeth and you wanted to caress his neck just right above your collarbone. "Well, I don't. I never open up to people! I consider it one of my great strengths-" you got cut off by his bejeweled dagger pinning itself on the fabric of your tank top like a dart pinned to a dartboard.

"Not what I meant," he offered, "but thanks for the invitation." Then he lifted a hand and punched you on your good side. Alas, no more side profile selfies!

You grabbed the gloved hand that was about to go for a second round of punching you with one determined fist of yours, unyielding in your grip. You observe Wriothesley's amusement, his face on top of you taunting. God, his lifted lips are so distracting in their angles, sharp at all the right places. Dangerous men should not have smiles more perilous than their charm.

Despite that, you shook him with your hand guiding him in the direction you wanted to go - in this situation you wanted him the floor where you previously were. Locking your elbow around his dangerous arm, you channeled enough strength to pull him down on the floor beside you. After the satisfying thud of your bully/mentor's back hitting the floor (his tough back muscles are probably fine), you swiftly roll yourself on top of him, legs clamped around both of his. Tank top strap slowly sliding down your shoulder, you dislodge the dagger on the floor and rest your elbows on the sides of his face. Curling his hair on the dagger's pointy edge, you look down, half-lidded, on his tired blue eyes and sadistically remarked, "Any tips for ending someone with a dagger?"