"They're Teenage Boys, They're Not Even Gonna Think About Sex"... Have You MET A Teenage Boy Before.

Me at age 13, exhausted at school after staying up all night to read fanfic: I can’t wait until I’m an adult and I can stay up reading without any consequences!

Me, an adult, exhausted at work after staying up all night reading fanfic: Fuck.

Izumi:

Eats a turtle duck

it must have been so hard for izumi to shock her parents in her rebellious teen phase because they both committed treason and went to prison at 16

This Post tells me that we all want Tommy to adopt every possible mob that shouldn't be adopted and, you know what? Fine!

Here's Tommy getting every single mob he really shouldn't:

It started off easy. Tommy was a big man and he really liked animals, as every big man should. What he didn't like was how unfairly certain types of dogs and horses were treated...

So one day, when a small eight-legged pony approached him just to amicably stare up at him he knew that he wouldn't be able to part from it. Therefore Shroud was now the second official member of the Innit household! Foolish seemed to like him a lot as well, so Tommy didn't really think anything of it.

On another day he found himself being tackled by Baba, the snow horse that he saw near Technoblade's house. Tubbo let out a shriek when seeing this, but Tommy knew that she was just trying to play, so he scratched her ear and brought her home. Clearly, if she ran away it meant she wanted a new owner, so who was he to refuse? He added a little snow enclosure in the basement and made sure to keep Baba cool. Tubbo didn't really approve, but what does Tubbo know anyway?

Then it was the turn of Clementine, a very nice lanky dog that appeared one day in his home and never left. Foolish said that he should have killed her and called her a pest, but Tommy thinks that Foolish is just an asshole. It's not Clem's fault that she's not comfortable with people staring at her! They should learn to respect her boundaries already! So he built another room for her, with a taller roof this time. His house was sure becoming quite popular, huh? Not that it wasn't expected with him being the biggest of men!

And, well, so far no one was too weirded out by it. Sure, they would give Tommy some weird looks, but nothing too bad. In comes the fiery dog. This time Tubbo was very adamant about how: "That's not a dog bossman, that's a fucking blaze!" but since Tommy didn't understand what that meant he elected to ignore it. Couldn't be that important anyway. And Fiery dog was nice! He never shot fireballs at him, only ever using them to turn on the furnaces when asked. He was a nice dog and Tommy really couldn't understand what everyone had against him!

It got worse when he brought back a small slimey horse and a small jumpy horse. Ranboo called them "Slime and Magma Cube" so Tommy assumed the hybrid could speak with them and that those were their names. This time it was Wilbur's turn to come to him in concern. He even apologized for leaving Tommy alone and other shit, apparently assuming that Tommy was bringing all his dogs and horses home as a substitute. He wasn't. They were just nice and people around him misjudged them, so he wanted them to have a family. Not because he could relate to the feeling, just because he was nice like that!

Then it came the turn for the screamy dog. That one was admittedly quite big. So much so that Tommy had to make the biggest nether portal he could manage to bring her home, but it was worth it! He didn't like the name "Ghast" that everyone suggested, so he went for Genevive. He made the biggest glass dome he could for her and Tubbo even helped. Apparently, it was because "You're gonna get yourself killed if I'm not here with all these hostile mobs around" whatever that meant.

Along the way, he also got one of the pillager's horses, who he called Betty, and one of the Nether's ugly horses (who kinda looked like Techno if Techno was a horse, so he called it Better Techno). At that point, people were mostly resigned though. Somehow none of the mobs were aggressive towards Tommy. And, sure, the boy's house was becoming more and more of an eyesore with every expansion, but no one tried to do anything about it because none of the mobs were quite as friendly towards them. That said they were sure that there was nothing Tommy could do at this point to surprise them...

Well, Tommy found a weird dark portal surrounded by blocks he'd never seen. And he jumped in before DreamXD could do anything about it. -why is he like this?

On the other side he found the biggest dog he'd ever seen! It had huge ass wings, cool claws and it breathed out a purple fire that covered the whole ground. Tommy was amazed at her beauty so he told her as much when she lowered down towards him.

"Aren't you the prettiest dog ever? Look at you! You're amazing!" she seemed to like that. So much so that she snuggled up to him for quite a few minutes before lifting him with her mouth and going towards a portal in the center of the pillar. Tommy was sad to leave her behind, so he was ecstatic when she followed him on the other side!

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [FREE THE END]*

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [NEW END]*

Okay, perhaps everyone else wasn't quite as welcoming toward Big Dog as he'd hoped, but Tommy was sure they would warm up to her! And soon they would stop saying stuff like "Tommy that's the Ender Dragon! It's the one thing that could kill us all! Please bring it back where you found it!" and start saying "Wow Tommy, you're the biggest of men and that's the coolest dog I've ever seen" as they should.

I finished it!

So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

I had a dream my parents got a cat called mustard (one of those patchy looking brown/black and orange ones? Tortoiseshell I think) and we were driving somewhere and we drove across some train tracks but I don't think it was an actual crossing because my parents were being shady as hell about it but it was near a the stations I'd of been to a couple of times in my dreams.

We were visiting libraries to get a book and they didn't have it but the second library said they would have it in a couple days and also the librarian who was also a priest was asking me if I knew this girl and I was like yeah? So he showed me my emails and there was a bunch from her asking for details about a meet up except it had already happened. So we went home, back the way we came across the train tracks.

I'd been leaving the cat alone because I was pretty sure it didn't like me but also so as not to overwhelm it and I fell asleep once and was crowding its space when I woke up so I cuddled it a bit but left it alone because it was acting weird and its mouth was being held open uncomfortably near my neck.

So I had to check on the cat because the train tracks were a bumpy ride and it was fine but afterwards we stopped for a pee break or something (one of my parents left the car) and I tried to say hi to the cat again and it tried to kill me, like it was sizing up my throat before and everything to see if it could do it and then it bit me and it hurt so I wrenched it's jaws open but I couldn't hold it for long because it was strong and when I let go it tried to snap down but I dodged and grabbed its muzzle which was now too long to be a cats and I was struggling and yelling for help and my parents were like "what do you need help with? What are you doing? If you could just *explain*"

And then I woke up

part of me wants c!kristen to be a super cool goddess lady who knows everything and whatever but the rest of me RLLY wants c!kristen to be an awkward sort of funny lady who is Very powerful but equally sweet. she is not very aware of how Living things work but she tries

Me when I when Life when I me when- yes.

Just watched Thirteen Lives and I have never felt so much stress watching a movie before