This Is Based On A Vn I Saw Forever Ago And Can't Find But It Lives In My Brain Constantly, Help. Also,

This is based on a vn I saw forever ago and can't find but it lives in my brain constantly, help. Also, First actual post, I'm so cool 😎

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You wake up in your bed, like normal and flutter your eyes open. Surprisingly there is a man in your bed.

"Gahhh?????"

"Ah? What's wrong, cuddle bug?"

"Who the fuck are you!"

"What do you mean? I'm Orange, your lovely little stuffed panda bear!"

You stare at the man. He does look like the stuffed panda you named after your favorite food as a kid. But... That was impossible. Orange was an inanimate object and that was a real man... Well, he looked like a mix between a man and a panda. He had darker patches of skin around his eyes and little ears on top of head.

"Are those real...?"

Before you could let the panda man speak, you reached up and started to tug on his ears. They didn't budge, but they were quite soft...

"Tehe, that tickles cuddle bug! Of course my ears are real! I told you, I'm your prized stuffie to life!"

"... But how...? And how did I know you're not lying...?"

Orange seemed to think for a moment.

"Hmm... Well, cuddle bug, I know that you are named [Name] and that you named me Orange! Because as a kid you loved oranges and you still do. Plus, I know that you give each and every one of your other stuffed animals a kiss goodnight, and you give me two! I know that you would never tell anyone else that because you're embarrassed, so does that prove it?"

You were quiet. That was in fact something no one, not even your bestest friend, knew.

"Well than, how are you human? Er, humanish..."

"Well, I made a wish on a star, like they do in those movies you watch! I wanted to be able to talk to you to be your bestest friend because I just love you so much!"

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crystal-cryptic

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me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

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me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

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crystal-cryptic

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I think polyamory would come naturally to them, but I also think Tamaki needs to fix his issues (namely his jealousy and internalized homophobia) before getting into a relationship with them, and I say this in the most affectionate way possible.

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crystal-cryptic

2 months ago

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crystal-cryptic

1 month ago

*thunder crackling*

THOU ART LISTENING TO

*fireball explosion*

102.3

*bubbling cauldron*

REAL WIZARDS FM

*shimmering mana crystal*

WHERE WE PLAYETH NOTHING BUT CHANTS, CHANTS, AND MORE CHANTS

*wololo*

THIS ART NOT THINE ELDER MATRIARCH'S STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

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crystal-cryptic

4 weeks ago

The chunky TV, the MySpace emo, Ouran highschool host club… those were the days.

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crystal-cryptic

1 month ago

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

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crystal-cryptic

2 months ago

whenever I see archeological remains of a human who suffered from a terrible disease that couldn’t be treated in their lifetime but could be fixed now, this wave of sorrow and mourning washes over me. a woman in the 14th century who spent her 35 years of life bent at the waist because of congenital scoliosis. a man from the 18th century who died because of a non cancerous mass on his jaw that made eating progressively more difficult. remains of a woman from the Neolithic who died in childbirth having evidence of peri-mortem trepanation on her skull.

and yet she survived to 35. and yet the physicians in his time tried to strengthen his jaw. and yet someone 4,000 years ago tried to save someone they loved from dying of preeclampsia/increased cranial pressure. we tried. we tried and we tried and we tried. we failed and we learned but we tried. that’s what makes humans so beautiful.

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crystal-cryptic

2 months ago