I’LL MISS THE COMFORT OF THE WORLD OF MY MOTHER AND THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD / LOVE MUST BE FORGOTTEN

pretty odd my beloved

Go on, grab your hat and fetch a camera

Go on, film the world before it happens

I listened to pretty odd on repeat the other day while studying, woke up this morning to see panic had replaced LANA DEL REY as my second most streamed artist.

Pretty Odd and A fever are two of the most amazingly crafted pieces of art on this earth.

catching myself lying again

the reality of my impurity bleeds through the screen of my irreproachable facade

is this who i really am?

One weird experience of transitioning is failing at ur assigned gender role the whole time and everyone constantly deriding you for it but then u come out and it's like we lost a beautiful gender conforming warrior today. Must grieve for my wonderful child who pissed me off by being ugly and weird since day 1

I hate almost everything about myself I just wish I was normal I don’t want to be seen I don’t want to talk I don’t want to feel weak anymore. I don’t want to be pitied I don’t want sympathy I just want to be free. I just want to feel okay

Grief is such a peculiar phenomenon. It truly alters every single aspect of your life. I don’t think there’s any part of my life that was left untouched by my grief.

I truly lost touch with reality after my parents passed. And I believed for a long time that my parents were gone, dragged back into the earth with words left unspoken, and nightmares put to rest; but as time has escaped me, I have been disproven. My parents may be ash now, but I see them everyday in myself. It’s horrifying, and sometimes beautiful. All of my life I’ve been told I act and look just like my father, and while that remains true, my mother’s venom has snuck its way into my behavior. I constantly feel like I’m fulfilling their doomed prophecies for myself now that they’re gone.

But I know that it doesn’t have to be that way. I know I can change and I need to allow myself to sit with this, instead of running and running and running. I am so tired, and I need to stop giving up on myself. I may lick my wounds like my dad, and I may carry my mother’s temper, but I don’t have to *be* them. I can be better. I hope I will be better.

i should just change my name to paper tiger at this point

All I’ve ever wanted to know was what I want. I am a stranger to myself.

i have this terrible thing inside of me that is lodged in the back of my throat. it tears at me, constricts my breathing. i don't think it will ever go away. i am so tired. tired of being angry, tired of trying to be strong when i'm not, tired of being scared. i'm not living, i'm not here. i can't keep it together, i've been falling apart, when i was never even put together in the first place. will i be okay? will i stop crying in public? will this emptiness cease? i can't do this anymore, i can't live like this

Emotional affair

Overly sincere

i say idgaf and then im still dreaming about my childhood best friend