I Mourn For All The Women That Were Misunderstood In The Past. The Women Who Wanted To Live Their Lives

I think you knew what you were doing this whole time. I hope I don’t get hurt in the end.

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I don't want to die today.

I'm usually contemplating my life, or lack of, through these hours.

Living is difficult most days.

Then you happened along, and reminded me there are still things to live for.

Your positivity is contagious.

I have a new disorder within me now, that illuminates the darkest parts of my mind.

The sunrise is beautiful again every morning.

Uneasiness that sends moths down my throat, have turned to butterflies.

I adore you.

I need to see the universe through your eyes, just once.

So I will have something to hold onto when the moon is high at night, and the darkness attempts to seduce me.

I was not looking for love when you came along. I learned to live with mediocrity. I knew how my life would turn out. I had made peace with this. Everything was not quite how I had imagined, but it was good. Not great; who gets greatness these hard days anyway? You came along and reminded me of the great in this world. You made me want to live again. We found something between us that we didn’t know we needed.

I despise myself. The way I live, or rather a state of surviving until the next sunrise. I despise the way I let others speak to me. The way I choose to live. I have no will to change it though. I will disassociate my days away.

I speak with the moon, most nights.

I tell him my secrets and dreams.

He listens intently at all I have to say.

People may say I’m crazy, but I have the stars that witness my madness.

I believe in the moon more than any person. He doesn’t judge me for what I have to say.

If I listen closely, he speaks back to me.

He tells me of his darkness, and how no one truly sees him without the sun.

He holds a special place in my heart.

For I am also unseen in my darkness.

I will love you quietly. In my way. You are in my thoughts, and songs, and poetry. You are in my dreams night and day.

platonic signs of devotion

I am hopelessly in love with you, but platonically. I want to hear from you every time something small happens throughout the day. I want to know when you think of me. I want to hold your hand and walk through a field of lavender. I want to hug you so tight, you will feel it for years. I want to cry on your shoulder and you wipe my tears away laughing that I could have drown you. I want to draw you so I can remember the curve of your cheek and how your eyes try to hide when you smile. i want to let you know that I have fallen in love with myself, because you have shown me that it is perfectly acceptable to be broken and still amazing. We are only humans in this impossibly large universe together and I will be thankful every hour of having met you.

I don’t think about it often. Usually just on two dates in the year. But sometimes out of nowhere it punches me in the chest.

It has been nine years since I’ve lost you. I won’t ever get to know who you may have been. I don’t talk about you, I’m not sure how to.

This grief will never end.

I will always apologize for my existence.

To be alive is in this world, in this humanness, is quite exhausting.

I am convinced I am wrong to be here as this; this living being, this whole person who has thoughts that can be spoken aloud.

I was meant to be something living, but quiet.

Something that has a voice, but no words that can be spoken.

I suppose, like a breeze that just whispers past.

A breath of wind that is craved on a warm day, but dreary in the winter.

I am meant to be a part of this world but not like this.

You don't know this yet. You are my sunshine.

The smile I can feel from a whole country away, well it takes the breath out of me. You are beauty in the rawest form. Your eyes hold the earth, the soil and grass. I could get lost in them and not worry if I need to be found. I feel warmth getting to bask in your light. Your voice melts all the sorrows.

I am not one for words and ideas of affection, but when I feel the sun radiating everyday, you must be made aware.