Morning Tea With A Little Cream

I'm already at 830 calories yikes! All because I ate some of my coworkers food. So the plan for today is to FAST untill 12am the following morning.

Rules for fast-

Take vitamins and supplements

Sip plenty of water

Sip plenty of low cal tea 🍵 sweetened with splenda

Diet soda is allowed zero calorie

Take a warm shower to get my mind off food

Take a long nap

Binge watch YouTube

If I can manage this fast I will stay at 830 calories. Still alot but at least I didn't consume more calories. At this point I'll take what I can get

1 mug of vanilla chai tea with splenda 0 cal

16 pieces of wheatthins plain 140

1 smart kettle corn popcorn 100

240 calorie snack

Things are gonna start getting tight around here-

This is my plan to lose weight-

I will eat only what is on my safe food list

I will eat no more than 500 to 600 calories per day - I mean it this time

I will take a multivitamin and eat some protein powder

I will drink lots of water

I will not worry about the pain of being hungry as hunger just means I'm losing weight. And it means I'm burning fat

I will stay away from my trigger foods

I will purge if I eat to much food or if I go over my calorie intake

I will distract my self if I'm hungry. I want to lose weight.

I'm gonna weigh myself daily as well when I wake up from my nap

24 Oz cup of decaf lipton tea - 2 tea bags, 8 splendas and zero sugar coffee creamer

Blueberry tea with splenda 0 calorie treat and bubble gum

I feel like a fat pig. My ex just confirmed that he eats 350-500 to 1000 calories perday and he's so skinny and beautiful. I NEED to catch up and get better at loosing weight. I don't want to be the fat freind. It wil be so worth the hunger when I get to wear cute clothes and have smaller boobs

Tonight I broke my diet and I ended up purging. I feel numb and empty. I haven't purged since I was 19 years old. I'm 23 now. I purged up so much my head aches and I the trash bag I used weighed so much. All I kept thinking was that I WILL get these 40lbs off of me. I will, I will and I will.

I played some of my favorite music to ease my anxiety while purging. I feel awkward 😕 I can't believe I'm purging again....

700 calories is my new safe number now. I dont feel safe eating above 700. I know it's not sustainable but I will give everything I got to meet that number. I don't want to be fat anymore it's making me a target for abuse and my weight has kept me trapped in a bad relationship.

Every lb I lose will dig me out of this cage my ex has put me in.