Statue Of A Woman In The Vatican
Statue of a woman in the Vatican
More Posts from Boxoflives and Others
If I am being truly honest with myself,
When I think realistically about my future,
I know in my heart I will be alone.
It’s not that love isn't something I yearn for.
I do. I really do.
There is this fire in my heart that wants to be put out.
But I know it will always burn.
It’s not that I am incapable of loving.
At least I hope not.
It’s just that I can’t really see why anyone would want to deal with loing me.
From what I know,
Which isn't much,
Is that love is supposed to be through thick and thin.
Love is supposed to be filled with little moments,
Like thinking of them while you fall asleep,
Like getting to know every little thing about them.
Love is supposed to be like coming home in their arms.
And while I feel like I could feel all of those things for someone else,
I know nobody would feel it for me.
Who would want to?
They want to love someone interesting.
Someone happy.
Someone smart.
Someone real.
I’m none of those things.
No matter how hard I try.
I hope one day I will get the hang of it.
Being lovable.
But I suppose for now, all that is, is a silly, childish dream.
The Conflict of Guinevere
it's not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die by Hanif Abdurraqib
been feeling a lot like him lately
friends for my tears
Tears, my greatest acquaintance
Left to dry on my balcony
I hope they mix with the guilt spilled on the railing
And that my tears find solace in the stress that stains the windows
And mingle with the blood crusted on the stairs
So that maybe, in some way,
Some part of me is joined with something.
Even if it is another part of my own self.
I feel like a whore.
Used and disgusting.
Why did I say yes?
I thought it would make me feel better about myself.
It didn’t.
Why didn’t it?
Why?
I've betrayed God.
And for what?
Some girl I barely know?
(I've known her my whole life.)
She doesn't love me.
I don’t love myself.
Mist
Fog rolls out of my heart
I know it is making you cold
you shouldn’t stay
I have made you hard
I have made you cold
You shouldn't have to suffer because i do
You don't deserve it
The mist that spills from my nose and mouth is poison
It probably will kill you
Don’t try to stay
I won’t be able to live if you go first
Is that wrong to think about?
I guess i’m guilty of that as well
Its my fault
I should have known
I should have known
I should have
cannibalized by my own jealousy
Envy consumes like a starving fire, Devouring all that's in its ire, Ripping apart what's not its own, Gnashing teeth, breaking bone.
Claws reach out to grab and shred, Leaving nothing but crimson red, Territorial in its gruesome feast, Not a scrap left for even the beast.
Digesting every ounce of worth, Leaving only an empty dearth, Jealousy spares no part or limb, Tearing apart even the strongest vim.
A monster within, hungry and vile, Feasting on envy, keeping it on trial, Until it has destroyed all in its path, Leaving just a carcass, in aftermath.
