I Still Love You

Naive

I remember lying in the snow

With the winter lights giving you an ethereal glow

Our hands intertwined, my heart beating fast

The night sky shined only for us

Oh, how I wish we've stayed there

When there are no worlds yet for us to bear

You were mine and I was yours

Now, we're cold shoulders and slamming doors.

Destiny

I hide behind these walls, I hide away my soul

Yet one look from you I fall, one look and you stole

What was never mine and has always been yours

You're good, you're good, I whisper as it gets worse

We're not meant to be, you made me happy

We're not meant to be, a footnote in your story

We're not meant to be, all I want is an apology

We're not meant to be, please tell me why you left me.

Ruins

You're still stuck in the crevices of my mind

Still haunting all the places I can find

I've given you the key, offered my chains

Hoping for a shelter, yet you turned out to be rain

You promised freedom but you are chaos

You made certain I'll never recover from your loss

Yet still here I am, waiting for your forgiveness

Still believing you're my one shot at happiness

Will I ever be free from the angel in my memory?

Will a time come when I'll finally see?

That the pedestal I put you on has already been toppled

And the sand castle we've built have long since crumbled.

Words, Words, Words

I write not because it make things better. I write because it's the only thing I know. And I know it's dumb. Words are very unreliable, yet it's the only thing I could hold on to. It's my rope. I know people tend to break them every time, but I don't care. I'll still hold on to it like its my last piece of thread. And maybe that's the reason behind my brokenness. Because I try to latched on the thing that people barely keep. But I can't help it. Words, writing them down, it doesn't always make everything clearer, but for me, it's the only thing that makes sense. The only constant in my life that I could turn to no matter what. And there's no word for everything. There are feelings and experiences that I cannot fathom into phrases or sentences. But somehow, when everything is fading too fast, and I'm alone and lost and confused, these breakable, limited words became enough for me. Not enough to be fine and happy, but enough to survive. And I hope it'll be enough for another day, because I honestly don't know what to do if it isn't.

Her

She's such a sweet rose

The bright spring, in a dark, cold winter

She's all I can remember

She has that angelic grace

That saved me from my demons and monsters

But maybe it'll be best to forget her

For all her smiles,

Her laugh, her voice that used to make me better

All faded away the day she chose her lover.

Played

Tears racing down my cheeks

I'm trying to find the words but I can't speak

My hands tightly clutching your shirt

Your eyes full of confidence and mirth

Here's another girl running after you

Foolish enough to believe that your promises were true

You smirked and pried me away

Saying, I'm too boring to make you stay

With that, you turned your back

An offhand comment wishing me luck

My knees buckled as I accept defeat

This is karma, so swift and sweet.

Why

I can hear your laughter echo in my head

I can feel the love I wish to raise back from the dead

Your footsteps recede, you turn your back

I whimper and stare, still in shock

For even if I knew you're gonna leave

That we run out of stories to weave

My fragile heart can't still accept it

That it'll no more flutter to your smile, it won't no longer beat.

Bittersweet

I hear the rain softly tapping on the window

As I slumber and continue to burrow

In my blankets, blocking the noise with my pillow

I can still hear your twinkling laugh, see you glow

And I can't open my eyes yet and go

For in these fragments of dreams, I can make you stay

Make myself believe that you never say

Goodbye, and forget that fateful day

Forget your broken promise, that you ever went away.

Sunset

I take off the hatred, take off the love

Until I am empty, breathless and numb

And I lay beside you, under the stars

We're kids again, ignorant of the wars

Yet your hand, I can no more hold

You used to radiate warmth, now it's cold

And I expect you to recount my mistakes, where I went wrong

But all I could hear is a familiar melody, you're humming our song

So I reach out and laces our fingers, this is not the end

We're just two kids with broken hearts, we could start again.