I'd Very Much Like To Punch A Feminist.

DpxDc fic where Danny is just haunting the Bats and providing memes to the internet whilst being invisible

Because I read a fic ('the curious case of who lives in the walls' by RaccoonRobyn over on ao3) that has Danny chilling in the Wayne Manor's walls and commenting on the Wayne's habits and goings on and i just

Tl;dr danny has a twitter page where he invisibly follows the bats and documents their funny mistakes like a nature documentary.

One day a Gothamite spots a new twitter page on their feed. Its not got a lot of posts, but they're all pictures. And the first one is... Nightwing. Lying on the concrete, face-down, with another bat or bird very obviously laughing at him.

They think nothing of it. They compliment the photoshop for its realism, and move on. Except there's more pictures. All of them, every last one of them, has the Bats and Birds suffering from a trip, fall, a gaffe, a misstep, anything and everything.

And then they find a video

Its clearly a handheld or phone camera, pointed at Robin in an alleyway. Someone starts talking, in a very poor attempt at sounding like David Attenborough, narrating like a wildlife documentary. "Here we see the youngest of the Bat-brood partaking in one of its more private behaviors, unseen and unknown by its kin."

And Robin just. Steps further into the alleyway and gets swarmed by stray cats, all begging for food. He grins and starts feeding them, all whilst narration continues, talking about this like its an animal's behavior.

And they have more. So many more.

A video of Red Hood. He does a fancy gun twirl when nobody's around, bobbles it, and accidentally fires into the ground. He picks it up and acts like nothing happened. But the video sees all.

A video of Batman on a gargoyle on a skyscraper, with shaky footage from clearly around a corner, but on the same level. "Commentary on this specimen has been added in post, for reasons you will soon see. Batman, the patriarch of the Bat-Brood, is incredibly elusive to research, and for good reason." In the video, the camera jolts a little and Batman turns suddenly to the sound of rocks moving. The camera goes still, and Batman scans the area, seemingly seeing nothing. Then, his white eyes turn blue, and he looks directly into the camera. Footage ends.

The acc posts a screenshot of a dm that is very clearly an Oracle sockpuppet. She has sent something along the lines of 'how have you obtained this footage, this is dangerous,' etc etc. His response is 'i am in ur walls lol'

He is not aware of the level of Bat Paranoia this brings out.

Quick thing.

DP Prompt

Danny but this little speech-

“I’m paradoxical.

I like to be happy, but I think about sad things all the time.

I don’t really like myself, but I love the person I’ve become.

I say I don’t care, but I care too much, deep into my bones.

I crave attention, yet I reject everything that comes my way.

I healed people, but I broke my own heart trying to fix them.

I love to listen, but I never tell them what’s inside me.

A living contradiction, that’s what I am.”

Tell me that doesn’t sound like Danny. Give examples as to who else embodies this, if you want to!!

(YouTube Link/Instagram handle for original video)

(https://youtube.com/shorts/OXrRdTsici8?si=5yQeiMtgG407oeJS ( @WITHGREATNESS_ )

things that make Gotham criminals say “oh shit”:

Batman showing up to the hideout and not asking any questions

Nightwing cracking his escrima sticks together with 0 witty banter or foreplay

Red Hood when his hands are shaking

Injured Robin and Batman known to be in near proximity 

Any sightings of Batman on Robin II’s death anniversary

Superman in Gotham without an escort

Batman speeding through the Narrows on a motorcycle and not the Batmobile

Red Hood abandoning his guns and throwing punches instead

Robin fighting with a sword and 0 supervision

Jim Gordon trying to quit cigarettes for the 19th time on the night shift

Any captured Batkid too injured/tired/frightened to taunt the responsible criminals

Batman bleeding and/or missing any major parts of his armor

Any Bat vigilante other than Duke outside during daylight hours

Funny Tropes I came up with: Part 1

(If people want to use this trope, go right ahead. I just want the fic links. 😁)

Drum Major x First Snare

For those who aren’t in band, or know nothing of band, or specifically Marching Band, I’ll clue you in.

The Drum Major is the highest elected student leader in the Marching Band, organizing everything the directors aren’t, from Bus forms, to making sure everyone has their shit, to keeping people on task in rehearsal, with their most commonly known task being conducting the band. Usually there are about two in a marching band, but there can be up to about four, maybe five, though I’ve never personally seen five in a band. This person is reliable, usually pretty organized to an extent, responsible, and all that other stuff.

The First Snare is the person who is the student leader of the drum line. This person keeps the tempo, with the drum line helping the band itself keeping time and not tearing up the sound. From what I can tell, drum players are either very chill, go with the flow, or completely in, nothing else matters but the band. There is no in between, but character stuff is pretty easy to change so, do what you want. 😆

(Anyone in marching band, tell me if I’m wrong about anything from drum line or drum major stuff. I appreciate constructive criticism, thanks!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, hear me out. What got me thinking about this, is that to keep the tempo steady, the Drum Majors who are leading the band watch the First Snare’s feet and hands. Which is how the band keeps tempo so well, since the drum majors are in sync with what the drum line is doing. See where I’m going with this?? First Snare flirts with the Drum Major, or the other way around, and something happens, badda-bing badda-boom. ‘Parents’ of the band the rest of the year.

Also, both positions are usually occupied by seniors. Do with that what you will.

Examples of the Ships I Would Personally Use for This Trope

Destiel (Dean Winchester x Castiel / Supernatural)

> I would put Castiel as Drum Major, and Dean as First Snare, because I would like Sam as the supportive younger brother who also wants to join Marching Band/drum line when he gets to High School. (Also back problems Dean, so.) Also Gabe as one of the other section leaders makes me happy.

Percabeth (Percy Jackson x Anabeth Chase /PJO)

> I honestly think it would be fun to put Percy as the really chill Drum Major, and Annabeth as the no nonsense first snare, but do with that what you will.

Bagginshield (Bilbo Baggins x Thorin Oakenshield /The Hobbit)

> Modern AU Hobbit my beloved. Anyways, I’m not sure who I would put where, because on the one hand, no nonsense drum major Thorin who lightens up when he meets First Snare Bilbo who tells him off when he’s too stern with one of the freshmen. On the other hand, stern but kind drum major Bilbo who is way too easily flustered when it comes to first snare Thorin, and gets teased by his friends in the band. Either way, I’d absolutely love it.

Cool. If you want to write fics with this, I don’t care. Just tell me so I can read it. You have any questions about band dynamics or other sections, either google it or ask me. If you ask me, just comment and I’ll reply as soon as I can.

Enjoy the Trope!!

~Bookie

This man killed god.

Merrin and Ventress react to learning that Anakin is responsible for the death of the Fanged God and Winged Goddess (Mortis twins and worshipped by the Dathomiri)

50% of clone wars is like "yeah anakin could kill a god" the other 50% is "he couldnt even stab a bagel correctly"

Future fic? Maybe?? I’m horrible with getting shit done though. I’ll do my best.

Oh how I love you modern Merlin as a medieval history professor. I can just imagine his students talking about him. "His lectures are great, he talks about it like he was actually there."

"Do NOT bring up Arthuriana he WILL go on an hour long rant and you WILL miss your last train home."

"He has this weird academic beef with Geoffrey Chaucer?!"

"His office reeks of herbs, lord knows what he puts in his morning tea."

"Dude's been teaching here for like 30 years and he still somehow looks 22."

"I swear to you, I saw his eyes turn gold one time during a lecture."

Reblogged, bitches.

Don’t do this type of shit.

You will die.

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck