Aranayad - 𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮 Â𝓶𝓮

“How do I thank my mother for giving me the life she desperately wanted for herself?”

- Lang Leav, Love Looks Pretty on You

I couldn’t thank her enough for being the ‘not-so-perfect-but-still-the-best’ mother to me and my bro while also fulfilling a father’s duty. My only wish is for her to live a longer life, so I can give back the kind of life that she definitely deserves.

“We must understand that sadness is an ocean, and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim.”

– R.M. Drake

And today is not the day where I am able to swim. Overthinking and sadness are drowning me. I can’t lose her yet. Not now, not in the days to come. She still has to witness a lot of milestones of mine.

Michigan winter. Shot on December 12, 2016. Fujicolor Superia X-TRA 400.

made a quick edit💫✨

Take it slow, beloved.💛

There’s no rush.

Take a rest if you must.

i miss mommy so much that it hurts😢 i wish that i can hug her and hear her voice even just for a short time

war of the foxes, richard siken / the good place (2016) / twin size mattress, the front bottoms / fleabag (2016) / jamie anderson / wandavision (2021) / in the realm of grief, noor unnahar / twin peaks (1990) / on earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong

Looking back on 2021 is bitter and painful. I lost the most important person in my life — my mom. I can still vividly remember all the nights that I cried myself to sleep, the times when I questioned God and asked Him to take me with her, the days when I came home to an empty and lonely house, without the warmth of a mother waiting for me.

It’s without a doubt, the worst year of my life.

Now, as I bid farewell to 2021, may I also leave behind all the sorrow and heartache it brought me.

May 2022 be the year for complete healing and for finding new hope and strength from God.🙏🏼

Shoutout to low maintenance friends, the ones you don’t talk to for months because you are all busy in life but when you meet up, there’s nothing but love.

— Word Porn

It feels so good to forget responsibilities and meet with friends once in a while, just reminiscing the times when life was still less stressful and less demanding and just casually talking about future plans.💟✨

Lost and drowning again.😶

This.

I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.

My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay pot, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the colour you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.

But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.

I was a gifted child once. I was the golden girl. And one day, I burned out.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire