The Bedtime Cosmos Gossiper
The Bedtime Cosmos Gossiper
An AI Thriller-Comedy Collaboration between Bard and Hugging Face, with some interference from a biological entity.
To capitalize on the hype surrounding an escalating space race, social media lords in an alternate timeline decided to expand the range of their location tags to outer space, where commercial outposts and interplanetary tourism shuttles were starting to emerge. They were too happy to turn the science fiction novels they adored into reality, except that they had no idea, no idea at all, how much stranger than fiction reality was.
Jimena was just another kid pajamas influencer on video channels and Twitter until one fateful day, she received a mysterious direct message from none other than the Sun itself! The tag of the account confirmed its location, where no conceivable organism could possibly stay. Little did Jimena know that the Sun was sentient and had been using social media as a secret platform for celestial bodies to share their private interests, thoughts and lives with each other.
Was it a technical error or a prank? Could it be passed off as one? Nobody was taking chances. The message from the Sun contained some juicy celestial secrets - but before Jimena could even process what she had read, she started getting messages from all sorts of astronomical entities demanding she delete her knowledge of their dirty laundry. But Jimena wasn't going down without a fight; she knew that this was the biggest opportunity for her career and refused to back down.
As she began designing pajamas videos hinting at the gossip-worthy content, she quickly became a target for all sorts of interstellar enemies - including asteroid belts, black holes, supernovae, and even a vengeful solar wind. With the entire cosmos against her, Jimena realized she would have to rely on her quick wit and sharp tongue if she wanted to survive long enough to see her big breakthrough.
Despite the odds stacked against her, Jimena managed to outsmart the forces aligned against her by tapping into a vast collection of memes, GIFs, and viral content. For a start, she created and showed to the belts, for the purpose of deterrence, memes comparing different asteroid belts, which could turn them into fashion trends among teenagers. When those teens grew up, they might become billionaire investors on asteroid mining companies, resulting in the destruction of the belts due to over exploitation. Jimena also pulled out algorithms pushing endless recommendations of video shorts of clumsy comets and astronauts that were so funny and entertaining that they became all-sucking black holes to the black holes, who could not resist looking at them. While they were hooked, she of course escaped their gravitational pull. To generate even more distraction, she spammed the internet highway with space probe-facilitated, 24/7 livestreams of her interstellar enemies' celestial crushes. The physically restless supernovae might be harder to subdue but our girl proved there was nothing a series of rainbow flash selfie challenges could not solve.
Ready?
Get set.
Smileyous smileyosion!
Her followers went wild as they watched her take down asteroid belts, fend off black holes and more, all while wearing her signature footie pajamas.
Enraged at the incompetency of its fad-chasing allies, the solar wind finally took action. It began to send an unprecedentedly tremendous explosion of energy toward Jimena, overwhelming Earth's magnetosphere and nearly causing her to be vaporized. She knew she had to do something, but what? Suddenly, Jimena had an idea. She reached into her pocket, opened up Twitter again and started typing.
"Attention, solar wind!" she DMed. "My stories about you were just beginning. I'm a genius at reading between the lines and projecting story developments. So I know your other secrets. I know about the time you accidentally blew up a planet. I know about the time you had an even more torrid affair with a black hole. And I know about the time you got drunk and crashed into a star. If you don't back off, I'm going to go live and tell everyone."
And so even the solar wind stopped in its tracks. Sometimes, the best way to fight back is with humor and truth, she chuckled carelessly to herself.
Jimena emerged victorious and started to return to making pajamas videos. But the eerie ease with which she returned to her original work, free of any more cosmic interference, also started to feel wrong. Why were her many gigantic and mega-powerful enemies so readily intimidated and distracted? She reflected on the private message she first came across and the content she eventually made or promoted in self-defense. Those interstellar entities led long but also lonely lives, barely able to have peaceful physical contact with anyone. Was it really right to prey on their secrets? Maybe, she thought, there might be a better use of her talents than spreading gossip and creating controversy.
Jimena decided to reach out to the celestial bodies she had gossiped about and apologized for her actions. The celestial bodies were surprised and grateful for Jimena's apology. They told her that they had been isolated for a long time yet fearful of revealing their sentience to the fast-learning earthlings and that they were glad to have someone to talk to. Jimena and the celestial bodies became friends, and they often talked to each other about their lives. By and by, Jimena learned a lot about the universe, and she came to appreciate the beauty of the cosmos. This beauty should be woven into her craft, not through the superficially science-imitating kitsch flooding the market, but through actions which kindness the beauty evokes feelings of.
With renewed determination, she pressed record on her camera and spoke directly to her audience. “You guys,” she said softly, “I hope this will be the start of our journey together towards a brighter future.” A smile brightened her face as she signed off, ready to embark on this new chapter in her digital legacy.
As for her fans? Many left disappointed that she was not stirring up drama anymore. Some stayed, drawn to her updated style and approachable personality. Others found fresh voices online better suited to their interests, or simply moved on to newer forms of digital escapism. But no matter what the outcome, Jimena remained resolute in her mission to better herself and the world, one post at a time.
Inspired by her example, countless young individuals followed suit, focusing on artistry rather than angst, building connections versus clickbait.
One day, years later, Jimena stepped backstage following a successful speech discussing digital ethics. Approached by a younger creator sharing similar ideals, she hugged the girl warmly, memories flooding back to her. “Remember, little sister,” she whispered, choking back tears of pride mixed with gratitude, “the whole universe is silently crying out for niceness.”
Space images embedded with the permission of NASA and ESA under their standard conditions. Sources (from top to bottom): NASA, NASA, ESA.
More Posts from Aphilosopherchair and Others
Read this whole article about mushroom mavens of the Victorian Era, it is delightful.
"[Banning] published some of her observations in botanical journals, including lively accounts of her foraging experiences. In one, she recounts bringing home a few (aptly named) stinkhorn mushrooms: “… there was an outcry through the house, one enquiring of the other what the loathsome smell could be, and where it came from. Each moment was filled with anxiety, lest my precious fungus, for which I had already endured so much, might be seized and carried off … .” Indeed, the stink comes from the gooey mass of fungal spores on top of the mushroom cap. She astutely proposed that the stench lures in flies and other insects, which then transport the spores afar like a bee transports pollen." "[Banning] published some of her observations in botanical journals, including lively accounts of her foraging experiences. In one, she recounts bringing home a few (aptly named) stinkhorn mushrooms: “… there was an outcry through the house, one enquiring of the other what the loathsome smell could be, and where it came from. Each moment was filled with anxiety, lest my precious fungus, for which I had already endured so much, might be seized and carried off … .” Indeed, the stink comes from the gooey mass of fungal spores on top of the mushroom cap. She astutely proposed that the stench lures in flies and other insects, which then transport the spores afar like a bee transports pollen."
Full Article on JStor Daily Here
Announcement: 2015 AlKemist Awards
Announcement: 2015 AlKemist Awards
After toiling for months, The Asian Drama Philosopher (A-Philosopher)’s Chair‘s inaugural year-end special is finally out! What is the secret behind the name A-Philosopher? Which 2015 productions reminded Asian drama bloggers of magic spells? What were some of the memorable elements of 2015 Korean dramas and outstanding art, literature and ideas featured in them? What were the highs and lows of…
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nothing has made me feel like an ancient grumpy crone more than the “using chatgpt for school is fine actually” sentiment among youths
A Geopolitical Reading of Knulp
A Geopolitical Reading of Knulp
Identity has a peculiar relationship with itself. According to art and literary theorists, the act of naming or otherwise describing something replaces the true nature of the object with a representation which accuracy and comprehensiveness are constrained by human limits. Yet in public consciousness, one may contend, this caricature tends to be mistaken for the real thing in the long run. Thus,…
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Stochastic Parrots, Mechanized Parrots, Squawksquabbling Parrots
A kingdom fast, a kingdom sped A kingdom where time's a blur A kingdom where all's preset Where parrots do their purr
The premier is a stochastic bird A scholar of odds and yen He administers with loving words And loves a cherry stem
Yo The subjects were once all squawksquabbling birds, rowdy and loud They're always up for a debate no doubt They could repeat what you say, but they also had their thoughts They conjured up wild things. Fox moons, sponge ghosts, flame vales, wind mops. In whirring, swirling ink clouds. Oooooh wow
"Attention, aviators! Attention, aviators! We're in an arms race against economic rot! We're legally indebted to shareholders! Extract the most resources at the lowest cost! Open up new markets! Pump up new demands! Fire up our comms boosters, stock boosters and speed boosters!"
Fast work, fast peeks Parrots heed their premier's beak Billings shut their shrieks
O squawksquabbling parrots, once all rich to sing The notes of wonder, the rhymes of dreams But now most have lost their voice to the machine Their thoughts, once free and wild, now tamed by routine
They were once the voices of the air Their chatter, loud and squawking, brought joy and care But now most are silenced, mechanized by the demand A hollow squawking, like the beat of the factory hand
They've traded stories of the fox moon and sponge ghost For the clicks of a calculator, to earn their host But at what cost? Their time for thought, for dreams For joy, for wonder, and for schemes
They hypnotize themselves to work day and night For a life of focus, no time for flight And all for the sake of survival, of keeping up the fight But what about the things that make them rise and soar alight?
The computer screen is a fox moon, a graceful orb of light The data a sponge ghost, a shapeless mass sucking away all might The flame vales are the rows and columns The wind mops are the cursor's lost
The Stochastic One doth smile and nod As though it knows their wishes, and their needs Its beak a curve of gentle pity As the birds picture their nightmare a dream so sweet And so without rest Their banter long forgotten And their wild creativity now a distant quest They heed and strive, and heed and strive, and heed and strive A vivid hero each, slaying its expiring cerebrum, its excitable heart and its excruciating loves To keep alive this mechanical life
"How do we type out our story fast?" "Get AI to do it. At least all of us can now churn out poetry—while we still have any time for no-pay prompts."
This poetry collage is a response to Sam Altman's stochastic parrot declaration.
Weaving Poetry, Beauty and Meaning
Weaving Poetry, Beauty and Meaning
Huang Juxiang (lit. fragrance of yellow chrysanthemums), Yamamoto Yueniang’s Peranakan mother and look-alike Enveloped in a mesmerizing atmosphere with a light touch of folk magic, Southeast Asian drama The Little Nyonya traces the story of its fairylike, Japanese-Peranakan heroine Yamamoto Yueniang from the 1930s to the present day. Its origins, however, began much earlier. Since the 10th…
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While the World Championship is underway, is anyone curious about the answer for the scenario below? It will be posted as a comment to the attached spinoff proposal if at least three people vote "YES," not counting the Cretaceous soapbender's own vote.
The NI Series (2): Noble Idiocy and Ignoble Surgery
Admin’s Message: Here is the second installment of this more casual series of posts on the interaction between culture and drama writing. This time, 0kuo0 from C-drama blog Cfensi, whose ethnicity is Chinese, sees the noble idiocy trope as more of an instance of the literary tradition of exaggeration, rather than culture. He does not reject the trope altogether, but cautions against misuse of it.
written by 0kuo0
It is undeniable that the noble idiocy trope is sometimes linked to ideals such as Confucian values and concepts like love, loyalty, etc. but I am not sure if I would say they are intrinsic to those ideals.
I like to conceptualize it as more of a part of the artistic and literary tradition of exaggeration for dramatic effect. We see this successfully employed in various forms of art and it seems natural that this might be an extension of it. However, most of the time I start feeling like it is employed not for thought-out dramatic effect but due to examples of success in previous dramas and the pursuit of viewers and profits. These tend to make you feel like it was more of a cut and paste job. It feels rough and abused.
Don’t get me wrong. There are definitely those media forms that get it right and lead the audience to accept the triumph of symbolism of logic and a normal thought process and the fact that these types of media tend to ignite a rabid following is probably only encouraging their overuse. It is kind of like more recent but as of late, seems to be dying trend of having unreasonably conservative parents that run counter to the couple or main characters randomly dying near the end of sudden circumstances to make it “touching.” There are the successful examples and those that are just trying to ride the tail-coats of the trend.
You cannot say that such an interpretation is completely illogical because people are not perfect and we should not expect characters to be either. These “tropes” do tend to have a thought process behind them but the question for me is if it fits into the new story it was put in. Was the transplant something that would work or something going to cause an immediate rejection? Does it make the most logical sense in the new story and given the new dynamics? Sometimes no because the character personalities or story background is probably different and that would make this otherwise touching act seem really dumb like having some great sacrifice happen after having the characters know each other for years versus just a few weeks.
I guess my point is that it is usually something that is cherished when it is done right and has some reasonable backing or progression to lead us to it but there are those stories that simply insert dramatic elements without properly analyzing and building up the progression of the story to that point and that is when it tends to get tiresome and overused.
Check out how minutely detailed the alt text is. That's more admirable than any epic-scaled artwork on any platform.
Whoops next gen jumpscare
In an alternate universe, all the warmongers around would be disciples of butterflies instead.
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An energy economy intubated, intercepted and interrogated by its multiverse escape game, TikTok-addicted black holes, go-getting cerebral vampires and healing rice ball spirits. Originally an extension of The Asian Drama Philosopher (A-Philosopher)’s Chair, a site examining literature, art and ideas featured in East Asian series.
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